Getting A Handle On Razer’s Project Fiona

By Alec Meer on January 11th, 2012 at 10:01 am.

Where's the mouse?

Razer have taken the lid off the simmering mystery that was ‘Project Fiona’, and everyone who said mouse/keyboard/gamepad or whatever was wrong. So wrong that they should run into the street, take off all their clothes and scream “I AM WRONG IN EVERY POSSIBLE SENSE.”

The truth about Fiona? It’s an Intel Core i7-powered gaming PC built to be a tablet, with a pair of gamepad-y handles affixed to the sides. Um. To be honest, it puts me in mind of one of those machines you used to find in bars that measure made-up signals from your hands to tell you how much of a sex bomb or how strong you were/weren’t.

Here’s a noisy trailer to start off with:

Here are the tech specs Graphics aren’t mentioned, which may mean it’s using the Intel Sandy Bridge integrated graphics. Which can cope with most games at lowest settings, but I wouldn’t say they’re up to the OMGGGGGGGGG levels the video suggests. Alternatively, maybe it’s using something from the upcoming NVIDIA 600 series and they’re not allowed to say what it is as NVIDIA haven’t taken the wraps off that yet. I’m guessing wildly, of course.

Intel® Core™ i7
10.1″ 1280×800 display
Full-screen user interface supporting multi-touch
3-axis gyro, magnetometer, accelerometer
Force feedback
Dolby® 7.1 surround sound
WiFi 802.11b/g/n
Bluetooth® 3.0

There surely must be USB ports too. If this thing can’t be used with a standard keyboard if you want to, I despair.

Update – yep, USB support, so you can use it like a PC of sorts:

And here’s the official line on the controls:

“Adapted from a full featured PC gamepad, Project Fiona’s integrated dual controllers coupled with its advanced multi-touch screen are designed to make complex game navigation ergonomic and intuitive without compromising on the portability of the tablet. You’ll be able to carry out headshots and command troops in-game with ease.”

My thoughts? Well, it’s all jolly clever and I’d love to try one out, but it looks a bit silly and I’m not convinced I need one in my life instead of a laptop. I guess it’s more rivalrous to consoles (or specifically consoles in homes with only one TV and family members/housemates who don’t want to let you hog it) than a gaming PC or laptop. Interesting! Odd. And probably very expensive. And I worry it’d make my arms ache. Maybe it’s only aimed at very muscly PC gamers?

A few more details and piccies here. I’m also reminded of Razer’s last mad project. Where are they getting the money for these crazy things? Do they ever get released?

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160 Comments »

  1. Knufinke says:

    This seems to be “inspired” by Nintendos upcoming WiiU. You know what?
    Someone should buy it, plug a Kinect in, play a dancing games and record it all for future generations.

    What a terrible, terrible idea.

  2. jhng says:

    Those handles look like they have rubber insulation over them so it might work well as a baking tray. Alternatively, by holding it up in front of your face you could pretend to be a Cyberman, which would be cool.

  3. Radiant says:

    I WANT A MOUSE PAD SIZE TOUCH SCREEN THAT MIRRORS MY DESKTOP.

    Thanks.

    • Radiant says:

      Also I was told I was 80 percent gay according to those bar paddles.
      I didn’t know what to do with myself.

      …I went home, watched some straight porn and cured myself.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      One of the few games I played on touchscreen is you, Radiant. :D

    • Soon says:

      There must be an LCD graphics tablet that allows touch & pen…
      Probably fantastically expensive, though.

  4. Bishop149 says:

    As a tablet PC: You managed to cram an i7 in there, that’s quite impressive. . . super hand held number cruncher.

    As a gaming device: Rather pointless really isn’t it? Get a separate GPU in as well, and price it around a cost of a console and it might be interesting. . . as it is HELL NO!

  5. Chibithor says:

    Next up
    Sony: “Console gaming is not dead”, announces a desktop PC.

  6. standardman says:

    That is an amazing step forward in square wheel tech.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Jackablade says:

    My carpal tunnels hurt just looking at that thing.

  8. ninjapirate says:

    Good grief.
    I wish they would put their resources into something useful for the PC gaming world.

  9. johnpeat says:

    Just Lol

    That thing must radiate heat like a mad thing – when they can’t sell them we can give them to old people to avoid them dying of hypothermia…

    Seriously tho – it’s not April 1 – what are they thinking!?

  10. InternetBatman says:

    Did the last Razer touchscreen thing or full computer sell well enough to justify this? I’m wondering where they get the money.

  11. deadly.by.design says:

    Finally, what all PC gamers have been waiting for…

    …a tablet with dual analog sticks.

    ???

  12. vecordae says:

    Finally, the power of Staple-On technology has been unveiled. That gamepad tablet thing he’s using? Earlier in the day that was a generic television remote. Then we stapled some crap onto it. Now it’s a gaming machine. Pure genius.

  13. Brun says:

    Sad to see Razer falling into the same trap as Nintendo – trying to cash in on the tablet computer fad rather than being truly creative. I expect them to fail just as hard as Nintendo will.

  14. Ic4ruz says:

    Why is everyone one so overly negative ?

    • vecordae says:

      Because even though this particular product has some interesting potential, the general perception is that it is a high-priced toy that isn’t as capable as the more traditional systems we already own. It’s rather like the company that sells jewel-encrusted apple laptops for about £320,000 but slightly less pretentious.

      Oh, and that company actually exists: http://stuarthughes.com/newdawn/product_info.php?products_id=93

    • sicbanana says:

      Hahaa! The sad thing about this world is that these gold and platinum covered Apple gadgets will most certainly have many buyers amongst the so called “wealthier people”. *cough*
      That being said… I still think Fiona won’t sell jack. :D

  15. akaleus says:

    I love the idea of a high end tablet computer built for gaming… but why are the controllers even attached to the device at all. It just looks uncomfortable to use for any amount of time, not to mention you can’t really twist your wrist without moving the entire display.

    On another note, in order to run a full i7 processor and a high end graphics card they’ll have to sale mobile battery packs you have to cart around with you to get more than 10 minutes use out of this. I supose they could make a Razer gaming cart system… one of those luggage carts with a battery pack strapped to it and such. lol.

  16. Raiyan 1.0 says:


    Are they trying to ride WiiU controller popularity wave? Which in itself isn’t that popular to begin with?

  17. dogsolitude_uk says:

    I should imagine that there are a number of rather nervous marketing types quietly brazening it out in meetings with the directors, mentally blaming this on the other members of the brainstorming committee that cobbled together this manifestation of groupthink.

    It’s what happens when you lock a bunch of people in a room together to brainstorm an idea without having someone play devil’s advocate, or otherwise putting the brakes on sillier ideas, you get something a bit odd and, well, crappy looking.

    Dunno why they didn’t make a gaming tablet with removable ‘handles’. If you could take them off, a high spec windows tablet could potentially be used as, erm, a tablet.

    *Facepalm* Dammit, that’s what it reminds me of! My mother’s heated serving tray! We use it for takeaways and stuff!

  18. Muzman says:

    I’m no marketing strategist but is (old) Metal + Black etc the best way to promote your gaming Macalike portable called Fiona?

    That’ll be competing with shiny Ultrabooks?
    Just sayin.

  19. Ergates_Antius says:

    You’d have thought with all their R/D money they could have afforded a book on ergonomics.

  20. Fearzone says:

    I have one question for Razer: what happens if one of the analog sticks breaks?

    • vecordae says:

      Then the skies will part like a scroll. A trumpeting will be heard in the heavens. For, is it not written “and, lo, when the rod of control is broken and the tablet of effort shall be broken, thus will be the end of days”?. There’s some other bits about naked ladies and sea monsters, but that’s the relevant verse right there.

  21. Notsane says:

    What is this? Is this the PC gaming’s revival? If so, this is absolutely stupid. PC gaming is all about customization,freedom of moddability and other non-sense we all cherish so dearly. With this I highly doubt any of the above statements can be possible. Even to game on it, you’d probably need a constant and frankly ‘static’ power source. There goes the mobile section of your device out of the window.

    Also what the hell is with Fiona? Couldn’t you find a better name than it to drag down to the pits of hell with your product?

  22. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Well, I certainly don’t see where this would come in handy, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that I’m not the only person in the world and a lot of people have very different opinions.

    Also, this seems more like a gateway drug for console gamers or a toy for rich folk than anything for pc gamers. Who, after all, use pcs. Not some silly pad with controllers.

  23. gwathdring says:

    I think their last project was not funded at all, but rather run by the sheer power of wordplay.

  24. noilly says:

    Cross this product with a shake weight and you have a winner! Tone your forearms while charging the 5-minute battery while playing games–a marketer’s trifecta!

  25. DOLBYdigital says:

    …..almost speechless…. I agree with others, I would’ve been happy with a trackball based controller setup or a one handed gamepad with a decent thumbstick and lots of easily placed buttons or other ideas around controllers/mini-keyboards that work with mice (like nostromo n52s)

  26. Chufty says:

    I’ve heard, and this may be just a rumour, that you don’t actually have to buy it if you don’t want it.