Airport Firefighter Simulator

By Alec Meer on January 24th, 2012 at 1:25 pm.

What the Pyro gets up to on weekdays

What, you thought I was going to put a gag in the headline? You think that those three words are not beautiful and perfect enough on their own? How you sicken me, you artless philistine.

Yes, the latest in a long line of labour machinery-based sims you would never dream existed is Airport Firefighter Simulator, in which you are all that stands in front of certain, explosive disaster. Quotes like this are simply amazing: “Even the most routine duties of aircraft refuelling and cargo management carry the chance of conflagration so you must always be on your guard to prevent a minor incident becoming a major inferno.”

And more, because I fear I couldn’t summarise this any better:

“Your duties as a fireman require you to maintain vigilance on both day and night shifts, never quite knowing when you will be summoned into action with scores of dramatic missions. Drive ultra realistic renditions of specialist fire fighting vehicles, across 20 km2 of airport, including the famed PANTHER, each vehicle complete with unique equipment ready to be pressed into service for any eventuality.

In a busy airport anything can and will happen, requiring split second decision making and nerves of steel. Only the finest firefighters can operate in an environment where one small spark can lead to disaster. Are you up to taking the heat?”

Omigodomigodomigod. What could such a game possibly be like in action?

Awesome. In so many ways: awesoome.

I’m feeling pretty bruised by the odd dullness of Postal III – words on which will be posted soon – but maybe this can offer the drama I crave? It’s out 17th Feb.

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48 Comments »

  1. julianbenson says:

    I particularly like the panning shot of the box art.

  2. Matt says:

    If they implemented a “Die Hard 2″ and/or “Speed” scenario, I’d buy it.

  3. Premium User Badge

    VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    This is just plane amazing.

    • Janek says:

      Certainly looks better than all hose other games.

    • MuscleHorse says:

      I’ve pre-ordered and my copy should be winging it’s way to me shortly, barring delays or cancellation.

    • welshtux says:

      I can see this flying off the shelves.

    • Untruth says:

      It’s fire to say that not everyone is going to have a blast with this

    • Hordriss says:

      I have a burning desire to play this.

    • djbriandamage says:

      Vegas or combust!

    • The Tupper says:

      Careful chaps. Some people seem to find pun threads a bit inflammatory.

    • Kits says:

      There’s always someone that has to go and douse the fun by saying something like that.

    • Rao Dao Zao says:

      I’m glad we’re discussing these burning issues here.

    • Jacksie says:

      Cool your jets. We don’t want a flame war on our hands.

    • Tams80 says:

      I fear it may be too late. A commentator has probably already self-combusted in anger.

    • siegarettes says:

      I’m afraid this thread has gone off course. The discussion may get a bit turbulent from here on.

    • geeknik says:

      Not sure I’m fired up about this one.

    • Ahtaps says:

      I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but I don’t think this will take off.

  4. SquareWheel says:

    These games are like fetish porn. To most, it’s weird, but to a select few it is the best around.

    • Gink says:

      Doug Stanhope fan?

    • SquareWheel says:

      I don’t think so. I Googled his name and the first result was a video called “Fuck the Jews”, so, maybe?

  5. Legion23 says:

    My mind is set flying and on fire.

  6. 2late2die says:

    The 90′s called, they want their soundtrack back.

  7. Premium User Badge

    deadfolk says:

    Ban this sick filth!

  8. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    A friend of mine got Farming Simulator 2011 as a crafting prize in the Steam Xmas promotion. I still have no idea whether I envy him or not.

    • SquareWheel says:

      I traded six coal for Farming Simulator. Aww yeaaaah.

    • siegarettes says:

      I bought the Train Simulator over the holiday. On purpose. WIth real moneys.

    • Aardvarkk says:

      I bought Demolition Company and am now certified to operate lots of machinery, including several forms of explosives.

  9. Premium User Badge

    Anthile says:

    I see your Airport Firefighter Simulator and raise you a http://www.wildtangent.com/Games/snowcat-simulator-2011 .

  10. DogKiller says:

    Do you think these are all made by the same guy in his bedroom at weekends? They all look like they use the same 3D engine, so presumably it’s just a case of replacing interfaces, changing out the 3D models and a little bit extra to tailor it all to the setting. They’ve obviously churned enough of them out to make some kind of profit on the side.

    I’ve also seen people looking at these once or twice in GAME. I cringed and felt really sorry for them, because they were obviously not what you would call gamers. A part of my soul longed to cry out and warn them. Instead, I walked out of the shop and tried to forget.

    • ankh says:

      Warn them about what? Maybe it’s because I have german heritage i don’t know but I love most of these simulators. Farming Simulator 2011 is ace.

    • paterah says:

      Wow someone woke up on the wrong side today.

    • Baggypants says:

      Phew, I’m glad your stepping up as the fun police, otherwise I would have thought all sorts of things were fun.

  11. Stuart Walton says:

    I hope it has TrackIR support, it’s a ‘simulator’ therefore it should.

    Also, it must be a real simulator because it uses the now-standard simulator font for the game title on the boxart.

  12. Milos says:

    Even the famed PANTHER? Easy there devs, there is such a thing as too much excitement for a single game.

    • Skabooga says:

      Burning plane! Burning tree! Burning helicopter!

      Edit: Did not mean to reply. Burning humiliation!

  13. Ricc says:

    They are making it sound like even the most minor activities could lead to an instant inferno at the airport. Not exactly fueling (hah!) my confidence in traveling by plane.

    • Koozer says:

      Be careful when passengers are crossing the runway, for they could SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST at ANY MOMENT.

  14. tentaclesex says:

    I love reading about these things.

  15. Zarunil says:

    Still waiting for Corridor Cleaning Simulator – Skyscraper Edition

  16. Gundrea says:

    Sure I’m skeptical now but as soon as Office Worker Simulator comes along I’ll be shoving my cash into the computer just to get a copy.

  17. Jesse L says:

    I’m not going to bother to actually make it happen but in my mind I am doubling the trailer with Kanye’s POWER.

  18. Aradalf says:

    The trailer says it’ll be out 10th February, not 17th.

  19. Levanon says:

    Not gonna lie, watching that chopper burn to the ground sold me. But I know that I’d just end up faffing about until everything explodes.

  20. BlackKraken says:

    I’m assuming being a pyromaniac is generally considered a setback to the career of a fireman.

    Now that I think about it, do you have to prove you aren’t one to become a fireman?

    Answers to:
    PO box 65839
    The One Show

  21. Ormu says:

    There should be a tag for all these silly simulators so I can always find them quickly when I need a laugh.

  22. NamelessPFG says:

    I’m beginning to think there should be an Internet Rule for these kind of games.

    “No matter how mundane it seems, there is a simulator of it. No exceptions.”