Intelligent Demise: The End Of Darwinia

By Richard Cobbett on February 10th, 2012 at 10:29 am.

They crash them, and their bodies may BURN! They smash them, and they won't return! In new games!

They say you should always be prepared to kill your darlings. Darwinia creators Introversion have taken it one step forward, creating nothing short of a Darwinian snuff movie to mark their transition from little computer people to… prison architects. Yeah, that’s still a little weird. But never mind. Help them celebrate this glorious new age of Not Darwinia by enjoying 2:36 minutes of burning, shooting and stabbing that really puts the ‘aaaaargh!’ into ‘carthasis’.

WARNING: The video you are about to see contains shocking scenes of violence towards inanimate, soulless objects whose existence mocks your petty human sympathy. They are made of foam, and do not deserve your sentiment, no matter how much you imagine them writhing in agony, looking up at their creators and wishing they’d been granted lungs to scream “No! Not the drill! What did my face ever do to deserve this? We made you what you are! We only wanted your looooove!”

Via PC Gamer, to whom Introversion recently confirmed that Darwinia is now dead-dead-dead.

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29 Comments »

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  1. Diogo Ribeiro says:

    i’m going into hyper hibernation mode now, thanks, things lately are just getting too weird.

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    HermitUK says:

    Guess we should stop waiting for new Multiwinia maps then.

  3. Kerbobotat says:

    I’ve just had flashbacks to a war I wasn’t in.

    Makes me sad that I never got around to trying out Darwinia. What was it all about then?

    • Alexander Norris says:

      Y’know, “not going to make more Darwinia game” does not mean “pulling all the Darwinia games off the Internet.” You can still buy them! Darwinia itself is SP only so age/player numbers don’t matter.

    • Prime says:

      It’s about…time you tried the game for yourself. I can’t recommend it highly enough. :)

    • The Tupper says:

      Yeah, Darwinia’s a gem. Hard to describe though: a massively stylish take on RTS that draws you into its unique world in a way I’ve rarely experienced? That’ll do.

  4. standardman says:

    Taking no prisoners?

  5. SiHy_ says:

    So… what’s that video about? Are they bringing out a Darwinia expansion pack or something? I didn’t read the story.

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      Man Raised by Puffins says:

      They’re announcing that Darwinia is set to become a yearly franchise, with the first title Darwinia 2012: Darwinier set for a Holiday release. The trailer is their attempt at articulating their love for those cheeky green sprites.

    • jimjam says:

      Well said Puffin man!

      Seriously why do some people ‘SiHy inc’ visit web pages with written articles if they are not going to read them? They should stick to Youtube or the TV.

    • The Tupper says:

      . SiHy_ ‘s got to be kidding. Nice one.

    • SiHy_ says:

      And you ‘jimjam’, if that is your real name, should stick to ‘See Spot Run’ books lest irony or subtext should overwhelm you.
      I resent having to end ironic statments with a winky face, especially when they’re so obviously contrary.

  6. Spacewalk says:

    Is this the trailer for Faces Of Death VII?

  7. Prime says:

    BRITAIN! Where the air is cold! The sky is grey! And the ground is wet! *sings Rule Brittania*

  8. Kazz says:

    :(

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    Gap Gen says:

    So… when Prison Architect is done, they’re going to murder some convicts?

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    Bluerps says:

    So, they have no mouth, and they must scream?

  11. TidiusFF says:

    “Soulless” ? You’re fool ! They have much more soul than you ! FOOL !

  12. Optimaximal says:

    You know, if they’d stuck to making games rather than spending their earnings on so many foam Darwinians, they may have been able to fund both Prison Architect AND Subversion.

    I see this as less of a ‘Darwinia is dead’ and more ‘Yeah, we made some *really fucking stupid decisions* and I guess we got burnt’.

    Yes yes, funny video etc.

    • mouton says:

      Yes, because the costs of burning a few foam figures are comparable to video game development.

  13. InternetBatman says:

    This just strikes me as mean and childish. Those poor little Darwinia guys.

  14. Rei Onryou says:

    I remember being at the Darwinia+ launch event where they originally showed this video. Moments before, they threw to the crowd the last remaining Foamwinians. I managed to save one of them. Don’t worry Foamy, they can’t hurt you ever again…

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    FriendlyFire says:

    Am I the only one who wishes they’d make a new Uplink game as soon as possible?

    A multiplayer Uplink would be fantastic.

  16. wererogue says:

    Those little foam Darwinians seem pretty damned hardy. I guess it would be counterproductive to read into that.