Wot We Made

By Brendan Caldwell on March 1st, 2012 at 2:57 pm.

Some bitpunks actually did their homework this time. Well done, you. Here’s a wee round-up of some of the stuff that has either been left in the comments so far or sent to me inside the carcass of a chicken, wrapped in safety pins. You’re so punk, you lot.

Michael Cook sent a couple things in. “The Maltyped Falcon is a typing-test-style game about a noir detective,” said Michael, stubbing a cigarette out in my eye. “It’s short, it doesn’t really work.” He then revealed another. “Pro Invigilator 2012 is a game inspired by invigilating exams. You have to walk around desks of students, and break up any would-be cheaters. I have tried to make this as faithful a simulator as possible. It is boring as all fuck.”

Meanwhile, Everything is Jake! is a clicky game in which a cartoon manifestation of the 1950s (or is the 1940s?) delivers a nostalgic monologue and promptly falls into the sky to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Our old friend JackShandy (real name Jack McNamee) is behind this tittersome madness, along with Matt Rundle. “It’s broken and weird,” said Jack, who then promptly fell into the sky.

Last but not least, the ENTIRE WORLD has been busy making games for the Pirate Kart V, which stands at a bonkers 826 games at the time of writing (a scary percentage of which are Passage parodies). If Adam decides to go digging for gold again, he will surely die. For this has gone far beyond pan-handling.

If you have made anything fun and punky since this series started send it to me here: brendy[snot]caldwell[at]gmail[snot]com. Otherwise, MAKE A GAME.


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  1. MerseyMal says:

    Excellent stuff!

    It’s the 17th Anniversary of Comp.Sys.Sinclair’s Crap Games Compo this year which is similar to this though naturally more emphasis on Crap games.

    This year’s compo is hosted at http://cgc.zx.gen.tr/

    This is the wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comp.sys.sinclair_Crap_Games_Competition

  2. Flukie says:

    … Am I the only one disappointed this isn’t a clone of Mario Kart with Pirates :(

  3. Mike says:

    Oh god you linked to them, haha. Thanks RPS!

    You should all also check out Peter For Dinner, which was made in the same ‘jam’ session that birthed Pro Invigilator 2012, by The Programmer Formerly Known As Gap Gen: http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/2921. It involes Peter Molyneux, twitter, and disturbing mind images.

    Making games in two hours was huge amounts of fun, and we’ve done it again since (though I missed that session – thankfully others turned up as well!). Two hours is just right once you’ve got to know Game Maker or something similar. Silly art, one crazy core mechanic, and some terrible sound effects and BAM.

    Thanks again Brendan! Now to wait for the job offers to FLOW IN.

    • Gap Gen says:

      If you want to make a shitty game in no time with no programming, Pirate Kart recommend Klik ‘n’ Play, which is buggy and old but free. I haven’t tried any similar, newer programs yet.

      You do need to put in a bit of work to get to grips with Game Maker, especially if you don’t want to program, although as Mike points out if you make an effort to learn it and its scripting language, you can probably work quite fast to do some interesting stuff. Part of the reason Peter for Dinner is so creepy is because I started making something like this (http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/2926, which used Games Factory), realised after an hour I wouldn’t finish with Game Maker within the time slot, panicked and took up Mike’s suggestion of using RenPy. Plus I was pretty drunk by that point.

    • Mike says:

      Game Jams: fun, and makes you drunk think.

    • Gap Gen says:

      Oh, and the fact that Pro Invigilator includes a 90-minute mode is the finest thing.

  4. brog says:

    I hope someone does have the fortitude to dive into the GDC Pirate Kart, there is some special stuff in there.

    I made ten games for it: http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/games/*/brog
    Two of them are Passages.
    Game Title is quite good.

  5. Kdansky says:

    I think this is a good time to plug my own creation too.

    Choose your own adventure / Flash / editable by anyone.


  6. Gap Gen says:

    Also, Pirate Kart is worth a poke; obviously the games are wildly varying in quality. This one from Terry Cavanagh is pretty great: http://www.kongregate.com/games/TerryCavanagh_B/heros-adventure

  7. noasdlasd says:

    Oh, and the fact that Pro Invigilator includes a 90-minute mode is the finest thing. http://kurl.rs/984

  8. Shooop says:

    I can’t download Everything Is Jake! for some reason.

    • JackShandy says:

      That’s real weird. Same thing is happening to me. I wish I knew how Mediafire works.

      I’ll try uploading another version, link it if it works.

    • hello_mr.Trout says:

      please do! ‘everything is jake’ is a great name for anything, and the plot sounds amazing! kudos to you!

    • JackShandy says:

      Ok, everything is broken. Nothing is jake. The file on Mediafire won’t download, the file on my computer has become somehow magically corrupted, as has the original project on Dropbox. Some enigmatic figure has burnt all traces of Everything Is Jake! out of existence. Also, google tells me my site is now filled with malware.

      Good thing I got that over with before I tried to make money off this stuff or anything.

      EDIT: AhahahaHAHAHAAAHAHA joke’s on you, fuckers, I had a working copy in my recycling bin.

      You can download a proper copy here:


      It’d be great if Brendan or some other RPS man could put that link in the top post.

    • hello_mr.Trout says:

      the world came so close to losing your game forever! – which i played & thought was very funny – ‘hey you, click on the red wall or i’ll start repeating my dialogue, and noone wants that’. ha! possible suggestion/query tho’ – i realise it might just be a quick project for you that you don’t intend to revisit in the future, but do you think having keyboard controls for the main character (jake?) instead of mouse point and click would have possibly increased the ‘game’ feeling? or is that not what you were intentioning?

  9. MerseyMal says:

    Excellent stuff! Wish I’d kept my OU licensed copy of Gamemaker Pro.

    It’s the 17th Anniversary of Comp.Sys.Sinclair’s Crap Games Compo this year which is similar to this though naturally more emphasis on Crap games. This year’s compo is hosted at http://cgc.zx.gen.tr/

  10. ffs_jay says:

    I have an effort on the pirate kart too, making it my first released, well, anything: http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/2815

    Your bog-standard Ren’Py effort really. Really hoped I could get a battle engine in there, but ’twas not to be (I set myself a personal rule of only using whatever resources I could draw/write/bung together in 48 hours, because I’m a masochist, apparently). Still, I had a lot of fun with it and it certainly got me motivated to finally get something out there. And top work by everyone else involved, consider my cap well and truly doffed.

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