By Jim Rossignol on March 9th, 2012 at 6:00 pm.
Our work is complete, here at Castle Shotgun, when we receive the latest news from simulation impresarios Excalibur. This week’s transmission informs us of the unlikely-sounding Stone Quarry Simulator, in which you can use digging machines and/or explosives to drag the hard bits from the guts of the world. Excalibur implore us to “Embark on exciting excavations where only the most enterprising engineer will become king of the quarry!” King of the quarry. That sounds awesome. And I am also betting it’s not an actual feature of the game. If it is, then I will very pleased indeed.
It also features what seems to be the theme tune from an American teen-drama, as you can see in the trailer below.
The explosives are… a little underwhelming. Could have done with some actual cliff-blasting, I think.
Stone Quarry Simulator will be available to buy on 30th of March.
09/03/2012 at 18:02 Ninja Foodstuff says:
Completely OT, I know, but no Idle Musings this week?
09/03/2012 at 18:04 Jim Rossignol says:
It’s coming at 7pm. We’re using the magic of scheduling to spread the posts out into the US timezone a bit more.
09/03/2012 at 18:20 canadiancontent says:
Hooray!
This is great news (for us in NA at least). Thanks folks! Really looking forward to reading new entries in the afternoon now as well.
09/03/2012 at 19:12 Skabooga says:
Your fiendish plot to get me to check RPS every waking hour is working remarkably well.
09/03/2012 at 19:53 Vagrant says:
I wondered why this week I haven’t had an entire page of news to read when I come in to work in the morning.
I’m not sure if I like this better or not; My ritual of sipping hot cocoa while reading RPS is cut shorter than usual, but it gives more to do when I start to goof off during the day, though.
10/03/2012 at 00:10 Bobtree says:
I noticed the new schedule right away. It’s a nice change, thanks!
09/03/2012 at 18:04 noclip says:
Is that blood on the blade?
09/03/2012 at 18:06 Jim Rossignol says:
It is some kind of nightmare vision.
09/03/2012 at 18:23 deke913 says:
I was told you can’t get blood from a stone..time to check back with the guy I loaned money.
09/03/2012 at 19:27 lijenstina says:
It’s ketchup. That is a pizza slicer after all. And ketchup is a vegetable according to the US Congress.
10/03/2012 at 00:40 Thermal Ions says:
No officer, I’ve no idea what happened to the foreman after he denied my leave application.
09/03/2012 at 18:05 jon_hill987 says:
Bagger 288 for DLC?
09/03/2012 at 18:06 Jim Rossignol says:
But that already has its own game… http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2008/09/02/bagger-simulator-2008-can-you-dig-it/
09/03/2012 at 18:07 ChaosSmurf says:
The headline left me stony faced.
09/03/2012 at 18:08 Toberoth says:
Yes. Judging by this trailer the game is off to a rocky start.
09/03/2012 at 18:08 Jim Rossignol says:
I’ve hit rock bottom.
09/03/2012 at 18:12 noclip says:
You’re only digging yourself a deeper hole.
09/03/2012 at 18:14 dysphemism says:
My sediments exactly.
09/03/2012 at 18:18 westyfield says:
Jumping in to a pun thread without a pun ready… if nothing else, you’ve got to admire my stones.
09/03/2012 at 18:24 deke913 says:
tread carefully
09/03/2012 at 18:56 David_VI says:
Don’t kick the bucket.
09/03/2012 at 18:10 NathanH says:
This seems like the sort of game my grandparents would dig. I think I’ll buy my granite.
09/03/2012 at 18:11 dysphemism says:
Not Jim’s best work, I’ll granite you that.
09/03/2012 at 18:12 Toberoth says:
The graphics aren’t exactly marbleous. Probably not the game I’d pick, although this trailer is doing its best to drill it into me.
09/03/2012 at 18:14 TheGroovyMule says:
I really can’t be bouldered to read his posts anymore
09/03/2012 at 18:16 Toberoth says:
That comment really rubbled me up the wrong way.
10/03/2012 at 10:22 John Brindle says:
It’s a basalt on all that’s decent.
09/03/2012 at 18:23 Blackcompany says:
I’d have to be pretty burrowed to play this….
09/03/2012 at 18:26 Anthile says:
I don’t see what your problem is. This seems like solid entertainment.
09/03/2012 at 18:29 Lord Custard Smingleigh says:
Looks schist.
09/03/2012 at 18:34 noclip says:
Tuff act to follow.
09/03/2012 at 20:11 Koozer says:
I thought it was pretty gneiss.
09/03/2012 at 18:45 alexheretic says:
man, that looks pretty coal
09/03/2012 at 18:49 Reefpirate says:
You’re all too negative. This game will be a blast.
09/03/2012 at 18:52 alexheretic says:
Ore will it?
09/03/2012 at 19:15 Skabooga says:
Seeing that first pun did not auger well for the rest of the thread.
09/03/2012 at 19:38 lijenstina says:
This thread is a pun Kryptonite ( now with more tar).
09/03/2012 at 21:29 DanPryce says:
I could see myself picking this up; it’s flaws look rather miner.
09/03/2012 at 22:03 LozTaylor says:
Some of these puns are terruble.
10/03/2012 at 10:26 John Brindle says:
I can dig it.
11/03/2012 at 17:45 Frannk says:
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to this game.
09/03/2012 at 18:09 cronach says:
Perfect. I think the only other machine left to simulate, is a Zamboni: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_resurfacer
09/03/2012 at 18:17 pixelprime says:
Unfortunately for the gaming public at large, there’s a whole world of untapped possibilities!
http://www.freefoto.com/images/21/62/21_62_9—Asphalt-paving-machine_web.jpg
09/03/2012 at 18:17 pixelprime says:
Ooops, I may have just leaked Excalibur’s newest GDC reveal.
09/03/2012 at 18:23 noclip says:
Personally I’m looking forward to this one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunnel_boring_machine
“It’s like a subway simulator, except the tunnel goes wherever you want.”
09/03/2012 at 18:24 pixelprime says:
I think there’s little need for the full range of WSAD, there.
09/03/2012 at 18:41 cronach says:
Nice. There’s also this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crawler-Transporter
Although I suppose with the Shuttle being defunct, you’d just be driving this beauty in circles…1 MPH baby!
11/03/2012 at 10:15 crinkles esq. says:
Shuttle Crawler Simulator: Race To Vegas
09/03/2012 at 18:12 pixelprime says:
I used to have a lot of fun speculating with my friends about the next unlikely ‘simulator’ game. But after we had Road Sweeper, Street Cleaning and Forklift simulators, I think the joke has kind of inverted now, where it’s become a parody of itself.
Joking aside, I appreciate they’re trying to bring a whole variety of different new sub-genres to the simulation arena, but I really do think it’d about time they upped their game a little with their visuals. Despite the humourous comment regarding the audio, it’s clearly apparent that this game’s visuals are lacking to say the least – and an apparent running theme when you look at the majority of Excalibur’s catalogue.
Although I think it’s worth investing in your own business to improve the overal quality, finesse and polish of your newer games, I suppose that Excalibur have found a way to milk these markets (farming sim?) for all their worth, with scant desire to actually try and make these games more visually appealing.
09/03/2012 at 18:56 Shuck says:
It seems like every possible vehicle simulation has been done so far. (Except, perhaps, motorized wheelchair…) This has got to be a pretty extreme niche sort of simulation, so I wonder what their development budgets are. I’m guessing: incredibly tiny. Quite possibly this is as good as it gets, until the tools improve to the point where a more visually complex game can be made at the same price.
09/03/2012 at 18:18 Zanchito says:
Damn, you’d think they’d realise good physics would add a lot to this game. I’m tempted to write to them and offer to code some simulation for free, that video was painful to watch.
Also, textures crom 1996. At least use a free texture library with more resolution.
I’m upset because I think this has potential!!
09/03/2012 at 18:21 pixelprime says:
Watching that explosion at the end was almost embarrassing. They way it miraculously transformed into a neat pile of immobile rocks. It was like watching something off of the Discovery Channel. Sigh.
*EDIT*
I realise what the guy was doing at the end now – he was cranking-up his teleportation device. Those rocks have just been beamed in from another dimension.
09/03/2012 at 18:46 Shuck says:
Ooof, just watching the rocks “fall” out of the back of the truck was painful. They don’t need good physics, they need physics. I wonder if the time required to implement even a free physics solution was too much for their budget. They can’t sell a lot of copies of something like this, so I’d guess everything in development must be done as quickly and cheaply as possible.
09/03/2012 at 20:13 Koozer says:
LEGO Rock Raiders was more realistic. I’m serious.
09/03/2012 at 20:29 Malawi Frontier Guard says:
The game was surprisingly good.
I think. Nostalgia.
10/03/2012 at 09:34 bear912 says:
I’m afraid I have very little memory of that game. I did play it, though!
11/03/2012 at 02:26 Consumatopia says:
Yeah, a physically accurate simulation that let you move earth and rock with heavy machinery would be hella awesome.
09/03/2012 at 18:21 Godwhacker says:
It’s like Minecraft without the craft… or thinking about it, the mine. And nothing like Minecraft.
This reminds me of that time at University when I asked an Engineering student what they were surveying.
09/03/2012 at 18:25 pixelprime says:
They already went and did that one too. See, they know what the public love!
http://www.excalibur-publishing.com/undergroundmining.htm
09/03/2012 at 18:41 Borborygme says:
The music makes the game sound as exciting as it looks.
09/03/2012 at 19:20 Skabooga says:
Allow me to jazz that up for you a little bit:
http://youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_embedded%26v%3DQmeva-pfOAQ&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAepyGm9Me6w&start2=&authorName=Skabooga
09/03/2012 at 23:24 Borborygme says:
Hahaha that was much better actually!
09/03/2012 at 19:21 Midroc says:
This is nothing compared to Woodcutter Simulator 2011. Check these sick quickchops out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bRjOVN6h7g
09/03/2012 at 19:28 linzhanq says:
http://ppt.cc/9iT1
09/03/2012 at 19:34 MistyMike says:
GTA San Andreas contained a competent stone-quarry minigame.
09/03/2012 at 19:36 LionsPhil says:
More competent that this, anyway.
09/03/2012 at 19:34 RedViv says:
Oh Astragon, what terrors you wreak upon mankind.
09/03/2012 at 19:45 kert says:
If this all was happening on the Moon, i would totally buy this.
09/03/2012 at 19:52 lijenstina says:
They’ve really struck gold with the Police Simulator 2. :P
09/03/2012 at 21:14 Turquoise Days says:
As a geologist, this game makes me angry. As a geologist, your puns make up for this.
09/03/2012 at 22:14 Drinking with Skeletons says:
So geologists are pro-rock? Do you throw artificial rock-dust (made from finely-ground animal pelts) at laborers and scream “Mortar is murder!”?
09/03/2012 at 23:00 Turquoise Days says:
That rock texture makes my geology-sense twitch. It’s so wrong its almost painful. Also, the material on the conveyor is certainly not gravel (grain size between 20 and 63 mm), but probably boulders of some description.
Well, this is the most pointlessly nerdy thing I’ve ever written on the internet.
10/03/2012 at 01:54 lijenstina says:
Maybe prog-rock. Live at Pompeii had some nice volcanic rocks in the background.
09/03/2012 at 23:38 Brothabear says:
Ma….Pa I wanna be a stone quary sales man! and im gonna get hours of experience, On this here PC!
09/03/2012 at 23:52 faelnor says:
first carmageddon 3 footage