Rambo: Last Blood Is The Silliest Thing

Rambo plus Limbo... still equals Rambo.
Rambo is known for a lot of things. The grand majority of them, however, are “being a half-man, half-gorilla, half-mountain, half-American-pick-up-truck (he is large enough to fit many halves) with no shirt, all of the ammo, and nothing to lose.” The short version? He kills people. And beyond the first movie, it doesn’t actually get much longer than that. So, naturally, Rambo: Last Blood is a puzzle game about hugging. To say precisely why would spoil a couple choice jokes, but the game’s basically a giant, aching 15-minute-long grin, so you’ll find out soon enough. Unsurprisingly, this one’s a Molyjam product, but creator Peter Javidpour’s keeping the Sylvester Stall-aaaaw-ne dream alive with at least one more update that’ll add two, er, existent endings. So go play it, and giggle knowingly. You’ve earned this.

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  1. LionsPhil says:

    >Varying resolutions of “retro” artwork smushed together

    PIXELS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!</morbo>

    Also my “ending” appeared to just be the game restarting. Points for accuracy to the era of anticlimaxes, I guess.

    • Droopy The Dog says:

      “update that’ll add two, er, existent endings”

      As opposed to the current non-existent one. ;)

    • Tuesdays With Gorey says:

      How dare he use existing images in a 2 day game jam.

  2. Calabi says:

    The game was funny, but the only ending I got was the gates opening and that was it.

  3. InternetBatman says:

    That was hilarious. It’s a fun little five minute game.

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    sinister agent says:

    Rambo doesn’t kill anyone in the first (and only good) film! RPS IS DEAD TO ME NOW

    • LionsPhil says:

      I was going to make a witty jibe about how some contemporary Schwarzeneggar film was better anyway, but got distracted by just what a good year for films that was.

    • President Weasel says:

      Perhaps we are thinking of different films? Rambo kills several people in First Blood.

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        sinister agent says:

        It’s been a long time since I saw it, but I seem to recall the only death being accidental and/or self defence (ie: helicopter shoots at rambo; rambo chucks a rock at the pilot; helicopter tilts down and the gunner accidentally falls out), and everyone else is just injured with nasty, but non-fatal booby traps.

        I may well be wrong, though. I mean, it has to happen eventually, right? Eh? Eh? Because I’m always right, like?

        Oh, fine.

        • HeavyStorm says:

          Perfect. I remember that death, yes, and it was self defense. A trooper does’t kills Americans was the message.

        • LionsPhil says:

          Is it correct to categorise the death in First Blood as a “bad guy”?

          For that matter, I’m going to take a guess that there are only two sequences in Rambo (2008) where Rambo is shot at without notable effect because each sequence is three quarters of an hour long.

  5. Johnny Lizard says:

    That made absolutely no sense. But I liked the loading screen.

  6. Ricc says:

    What’s the phone booth a reference to? I didn’t know what to do there.

  7. BrendanJB says:

    That was delightful. My favourite was the reference to the movie Ghost, hahaha.

    • HeavyStorm says:

      The ghostbuster one was also wonderful. Nicest puzzle really, it took me two minutes to figure it out.

    • Premium User Badge

      Skabooga says:

      The Ghost reference had me in stitches. Also, I dig the blush in Rambo’s cheeks when he hugs someone.

    • Premium User Badge

      Drayk says:

      The ghost one is really funny… I didn’t get the one with the phone though…

  8. grundus says:

    Dah, I can only get to Valhall. I’m sure the screen between the juggling and the gallery has a ghost somewhere but I cannot find it. Him. Yeah.

    • Premium User Badge

      Skabooga says:

      The answer you seek is in your own reflection.

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      liquidsoap89 says:

      Dang, even after botching 2 hugs I still would have only got valh. TIME TO RETRY!

  9. brulleks says:

    When I first saw the screenshot I thought the article was about Swords and Sorcery EP again. Is this the new mode for indie art styles?

  10. A-Scale says:

    Aww is there no good ending? It just ends at Valhalla?

  11. amisysally says:

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