By John Walker on April 24th, 2012 at 9:30 pm.
Fetch a clean change of underwear, possibly trousers too. Because I am about to announce to you the existence of a trailer for a game so thrilling, so world-changingly-exciting, that… oh wait, you already read the headline. It’s too late for you, and for your pants. You’re likely barely finished scrubbing after Craig informed you of Agricultural Simulator – Historical Farming’s existence last month. Get ready for more washing.
See, I’m just envious. I know nothing about agriculture, nor its history, and yet it’s one of the most important creations of mankind, along with sewerage, Wikipedia, and stuffed crust pizzas. I’m an ignoramus, and rather than accepting this I make jokes, like a pathetic bully. Also, this game contains time travel!
Okay, they were lying about the time travel. Also, you’d think that something featuring historical farming would be going back a little bit further than when the diesel-driven machines were a bit older. In my historical agriculture simulation, it’s all about hoes and ploughshares, and shooting children with impunity. Not tractors. TRACTORS! They’re from today, not history!
You can get your hands on this in May.
24/04/2012 at 21:42 mentor07825 says:
I look forward to the hilarious YouTube videos that will be made from this game.
I never knew hoes worked on a farm before though….OR PERHAPS THEY DID!! I detect a possible scandal.
24/04/2012 at 21:43 zolointo says:
Given it’s prequel, it’s safe to say that this will be off ye olden hooke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=k5QjmFjOfSk
24/04/2012 at 21:52 Morlock says:
Truly histerical.
24/04/2012 at 23:52 fyro11 says:
I will gladly plough through this. Oh and if this has multiplayer, *wipes the sweat of his brow* let’s say I’ll sort the wheat from chaff with you lot. Trough times ahead, but nothing I can’t handle. It may not be my hey-day, but I’m still heisty.
I feel so guilty. Apologies in advance to anyone in the agricultural industry; have the utmost respect for you.
24/04/2012 at 21:53 NathanH says:
I reckon that whoever is making these games is in for the long haul, getting a reputation for dreary tedious farming simulations, until they final unleash all their expertise onto a simulation of the dreary tedious life of a medieval serf farmer, thus creating one of the most moving and heartrending pieces of art in the history of mankind.
24/04/2012 at 22:59 PacketOfCrisps says:
I’m waiting for the simulator that simulates these simulator developers creating repetitive games simulators over and over again. It’s the future, it’s inevitable. Simulator.
25/04/2012 at 02:00 andytt66 says:
gamedev story by kairosoft? it’s for the iphone, but it’s really really good in a timesinky sort of way
24/04/2012 at 21:56 Peanut Noir says:
I sense a slightly sarcastic tone in the above post.
24/04/2012 at 21:57 frenz0rz says:
I dont like this whole “People who arent Tim Stone talking about sim games” thing.
It unnerves me.
24/04/2012 at 22:16 jimbobjunior says:
“Today’s foxer contains 9 variants of the Ferguson TE-20. Name them for FP points, which this week have been stamped from paraffin covered chassis plates”
25/04/2012 at 01:37 frenz0rz says:
I just went all warm and fuzzy, thank you.
24/04/2012 at 21:57 ZIGS says:
Crysis 3 can go eat a dick, this is what it’s all about, right here
24/04/2012 at 21:59 Turbobutts says:
I can’t wait for the historically accurate freestyle downhill tractor racing mod.
24/04/2012 at 22:01 Torgen says:
Now where is my truck transport sim that takes me back to the 1950s, 1930s, even to the turn of last century? Model T flatbed, baby. Nothing but sex.
24/04/2012 at 22:04 TheWhippetLord says:
They’ve got you covered with the last part.
“it’s all about hoes”*
:P
*pun provided by the Archaeological Humour Society, dated c.500 BC
24/04/2012 at 22:27 tlarn says:
Look out, Facebook; here comes a farming game for the hardcore players.
24/04/2012 at 22:47 PacketOfCrisps says:
I can’t wait to get behind the wheel and plough through this game.
24/04/2012 at 23:03 Dozer says:
Bad form, John. You announced a trailer for the game, but spoiled it by including the trailer in the header image.
24/04/2012 at 23:04 Freud says:
I’m a bit disappointed that these simulators don’t have their own tag.
24/04/2012 at 23:12 Carter says:
That Music…
24/04/2012 at 23:30 andrewi31 says:
Yeah, this is one of those titles (2011 version anyway) that they are really aggressive about suing you and trying to trick you into a settlement if your IP is on their pirate list, sorta like CDProjekt was doing but then quit.
24/04/2012 at 23:54 Reverant says:
I will buy this, and I will like it… OR ELSE. I picked up Utility Vehicles Simulator 2012 and I haven’t REGRETTED ONE EURO. I don’t know what I actually paid in American money, but I’m sure I won’t regret it if I ever find out.
Can you really put a price on the enjoyment a person can get out of these sims? I mean, check out my playthrough:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcUSLYVH788&feature=plcp&context=C4380d08VDvjVQa1PpcFMULY9soFkCshQeseYOxPw9cFleYj23Fa0%3D
Nothing but pure joy.
25/04/2012 at 00:07 somini says:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY&feature=player_detailpage#t=27s
I CAME! The fidelity!OMG
Lacks WUB WUB though.
25/04/2012 at 03:13 Papageno says:
That tractor in the top pic is a Ferguson–my grandparents in Eastern Oregon had one of those and it’s the first vehicle I learned to drive on! It was still working in the early 80′s, bringing in a trailer full of alfalfa bales to feed the cattle through the winter.
25/04/2012 at 04:31 David_VI says:
Didn’t see any farming in that trailer.
Plus thats some gooood steering.
25/04/2012 at 15:21 PositivelyGreg says:
Pretty sure they want to avoid spoilers. (hint: Reapers, of course)
25/04/2012 at 09:26 wuwul says:
Honestly, I find this kind of cool.
Maybe I’ll play this for an hour or so just for the novelty and oddness of the thing.
Assuming someone bothers to release it, that is.
25/04/2012 at 10:26 Bishop149 says:
They seem REALLY proud of that linkage they showed about 16 times. . . . .
25/04/2012 at 11:44 yhancik says:
I remember having a lot of fun with tractors in Operation Flashpoint
25/04/2012 at 21:17 Devan says:
Okay, I need some info from you folks who know about these-here simulation games.
Agriculture is pretty cool, and I would be interested in a game that actually taught you things about it. For example, where you make decisions about what crops to sow in what areas, what time of year to perform seeding, harvesting and maintenance operations, plant spacing etc, take measurements of soil, plant health, crop yeild, sunlight hours, and make judgements based on irrigation needs anticipated frost times, and other real-world factors of agriculture.
Are these games anything like that? (Are there any games like that?) These look to be more mission based, like “Today we’re going to spray these pesticides on those fields. Hook up your tractor and drive it back and forth until you’re done”.
26/04/2012 at 22:58 SquidgyB says:
The screenshot and vid has actually struck me with some nostalgia – sitting on my Dad’s knee driving the red “Fergi Bach”, or “Little Fergy” around our farm 25 years ago in Wales.
My word, I might be about to buy a farming sim game…
I kindof miss that little red Massey Ferguson now… :’(