COD, Wallop

By Alec Meer on April 24th, 2012 at 11:30 am.

WELCOME again to CALL OF DUTY CENTRAL! Yeeeeehaaaaw! As you know RPS is the number one CALL OF DUTY fansite on the internet, because CALL OF DUTY is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today for you guys we have a TIMER counting down to when the world will discover the name of the next amazing CALL OF DUTY game and hopefully some surprises like what guns are in it. If I know CALL OF DUTY like I know CALL OF DUTY, the next game is going to be a REVOLUTION and UNLIKE ANYTHING WE’VE EVER SEEN BEFORE. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it’s going to be so viscerally visceral!

Oh man I just can’t wait forever until MAY 1 for this timer to finish and tell me that the next game is Black Ops 2. Whoops I guess I shouldn’t say that like it’s a fact haha. In the meantime I’m going to check the COD site EVERY SECOND to see if another picture has been unlocked. Only one has so far, and it’s AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s an AMAZING BLURRY PHOTO of a semi-real quad rotor remote control drone, which is definitely not like anything we’ve seen in any other shooter ever, and they’ve even made a CGI version for a mad Russian gun-nut to pretend he’s piloting:

The next Call of Duty game will probably be Black Ops 2, it will almost certainly launch not long before Christmas, it will almost certainly include a hyper-linear, bombastic, implausible and very short singleplayer mode and a more extensive multiplayer mode containing incremental updates to the last one, a vast raft of unlocks and a year-long DLC plan. It will more than likely also include a zombies mode. It will sell quite well.

, .

142 Comments »

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  1. Premium User Badge

    Zunt says:

    You broke my sarcasm detector.

  2. Stuart Walton says:

    That first paragraph: Did you copy and paste from an official press release?

  3. Premium User Badge

    Colthor says:

    The SEO is strong with this one.

  4. Secundus says:

    hey remember how like a year ago you unironically published everything cod related and got mad when your readers didnt like it?

    • Alec Meer says:

      Hey, remember when you said something factually accurate and that wasn’t a nuance-free exaggeration uttered through the dark, non-analytical prism of internet anonymity and consciously aimed to cause umbrage? No, me neither.

      • Duffin says:

        That was a 360 comeback riposte.

      • Shadram says:

        As a COD player would say, “PWNED!”
        Or do you kids not use that word any more? I can’t keep up…

      • Meat Circus says:

        Hey, remember when YOUR MUM said something factually accurate and that wasn’t a nuance-free exaggeration uttered through the dark, non-analytical prism of internet anonymity and consciously aimed to cause umbrage?

        • Kynrael says:

          You, sir, it seems, are fluent in this strange COD language.

      • hosndosn says:

        Weak comeback, Alec. Weak.

  5. Spinks says:

    He’s psychic.

  6. Duffin says:

    This is surely the one where sales are gonna start dropping. Right? RIGHT?

    • Cinnamon says:

      Think that already happened with the last game.

    • Dowson says:

      MW3 sold 300,000 less in the UK than Black Ops.
      Quite a large chunk.

      • f1x says:

        Of course, you guys are right,
        And in the world of big corps, even 10k units less would be a big backlash, when they expect to actually sell more everytime

        but the sad (or happy, depending on your view) part is the series is nowhere near dying, they will pull a Black ops2 now and probably a MW4 after, and after that if they keep selling less then they will try to “reinvent” (aka doing the same but either in the future or in the past historically) and only if they fail to reinvent will they actually try something “new”

        • ucfalumknight says:

          CoD AW? Call of Duty Ancient Warfare? Exchange bigmassivemanlyguns for bigmassivemanlybowsnarrows? CoD OW? Call of Duty Old Warfare? Exchange bigmanlyshootingguns for slowsingleshotmanlyguns? Or, best yet! CoD TW. Call of Duty Trench Warfare. Their slogan: Join an elite army special ops team to survive the horrors of WWI.

          • f1x says:

            Well, Call of Duty : Ancient Warfare sounds awesome
            Charriot chases with greek fire explosions in the background, you take the role of Socrates an undercover elite commando

          • Premium User Badge

            lurkalisk says:

            …Battling the omnipresent threat of a Russian invasion.

          • Torgen says:

            *Persian* invasion.

            Then the sequel is set in the modern day as you, Socrates’ great-great-great-great grandson, *also* an elite commando, return to the scene of the final battle in COD:AW to destroy the Iranian nuclear weapons factory.

        • aDemandingPersona says:

          I call CoD: Civil Warfare. Takes place in 1860’s America with single shot muskets.

        • jwoozy says:

          CoD has no where left to go, except back to the well with another WW2 game. The success of the series is predicated almost entirely on the fact that the game comes wrapped in a yellow ribbon and allowed terrified post-9/11 Westerners to feel the warm glow of security and moral righteousness that can only come from killing brown people and various shades of Eastern European. When that’s your market, you either tell a story about World War II, a modern “thriller” about a Tom Clancy suitcase nuke, or when you’re really out of ideas you do “Red Dawn” again.

      • Moni says:

        300k is like one whole Psychonauts.

        • djbriandamage says:

          All of the CoDs mashed together into a tacky putty ball barely equal one fraction of a Psychonauts, tyvm!

  7. f1x says:

    You mean B24CK 0P5

  8. Icarus says:

    Needs more wub wub wub

  9. frenz0rz says:

    Well thats a relief, I was worried there wasnt going to be another CoD game.

  10. Acerbjorn says:

    Does this mean it is now okay to like the game ironically?

    • Godsmith says:

      Only if you buy it ironically. Preferably two copies, because then they will REALLY GET IT.

      • bwion says:

        Surely the best way is to buy it ironically and then pirate it also ironically. That way, the lost sale from piracy will cancel out the actual sale from the purchase and all that will be left is irony.

        Don’t even try to argue, it’s science.

        • Alec Meer says:

          Y’know, I think ‘guilty, stoopid self-indulgence’ isn’t entirely a bad way to think about COD singleplayer now. I did initally have some faint hope that MW3 might recapture some of what made MW1 surprisingly good, but it just turned out wretched and pompous. CODBLOPS on the other hand could be treated,, in the right light, as ironic over-the-top absurdity, so maybe there is hope for CODBLOPS2 if we all refuse to take it all seriously.

          • chopsnsauce says:

            “Dragovich…Kravchenko…Steiner…ALL MUST DIE”.

            Not my words Alec, the words of Mr Gary Oldman.

          • Dances to Podcasts says:

            Early CoD/MW was good not because they’re great game makers but they had great stuff to steal from. The first CoDs stole from movies like Saving Private Ryan and Enemy at the Gates. Then they ran out of WW2 movies and switched over to modern war movies. There’s less of those, unfortunately, so they ran out of ideas even faster. Not a good sign for any future games.

          • Shooop says:

            The story of Black Ops actually pretty good for a shooter. And it helped give it a really nice game menu.

            Too bad the game itself was an intolerable wreck.

        • Shooop says:

          The internet is yours sir.

  11. MrThingy says:

    COD!, Bang!, Wallop! … What a video!

    • Premium User Badge

      DrScuttles says:

      And now I’m hoping Alan Partridge is a player character.

    • SuperNashwanPower says:

      I’m on the M1 to Dundee with no shoes on, and need to pull into a service station for more toblerone.
      I sincerely hope I don’t pierce my foot on a SPYYYKKKE

  12. Premium User Badge

    Skystrider says:

    With my extraordinary, supernatural powers of precognition, I can already divine what to expect of this new game. Beware of spoliers ahead!

    ***Spoiler***
    Same shit. Different year. Will sell.
    ***/spoiler***

    Never guessed that, did you?

  13. mishrav says:

    I just had a sargasm.

  14. caddyB says:

    GOD I CAN’T WAIT TILL IT COMES OUT SO ALL THE 13 YEAR OLDS STOP PLAYING TRIBES

    SO EXCITED

    • Duffin says:

      Nooooo I need somebody as bad as me to shoot.

      • ThTa says:

        Convince a friend to start playing Tribes and then join his matches while he’s still in the lowest bracket with all the people who haven’t figured out how to ski yet. Enjoy your self-esteem boost.

        (Don’t actually do this, please.)

        • Duffin says:

          Funny you mention that. I got to level 7 yesterday. Before that I was all, “pah theres nothing to this Tribes business, yonk mortar shot”. Then the true degree of my crapness hit me.

          • caddyB says:

            Not that I’m any good at it, only level 14 or so, but I like playing with people who can take it when somebody more skilled than them owns their sorry asses with extreme prejudice. I usually go “awesome” when somebody shoots me in the air or wins a 1v1 duel or something and I noticed there are some flamers around lately who go around telling people to uninstall and all.

            Sad business.

  15. Blackcompany says:

    Something fishy about this article….

    • Premium User Badge

      Bluerps says:

      I think the article’s right. This game is going to be visceral – I feel it in my gut!

  16. NathanH says:

    I like CoD2 and Modern Warfare 1. I haven’t played the more recent games. I don’t play multiplayer. Should I play the more recent games, and how much should I pay for them?

    • Duffin says:

      Can’t tell if serious or not. If you just want the single player, which is very short in all the games, I wouldn’t pay more than £10. But they are all horribly scripted and linear. Think you already have the best in MW1.

    • Max.I.Candy says:

      CoD2 and MW1 where the only 2 worth playing.
      CoD2 for the excellent SP campaign (excellent at the time), and MW1 had pretty good multiplayer (at the time).

    • f1x says:

      I understand you, considering I dont really dig multiplayer shooters aswell but love singleplayer:
      Imo MW1 campaign was excellent, it had a decent plot and excellent pacing / action and a memorable cast of characthers
      MW2 campaign is decent but nowhere as good as MW1, somehow they lost the pacing that made MW1 campaign good, but still its worth playing
      Black ops campaign is pretty good, actually I like the characthers a lot and managed to capture the vibe of movies like the manchurian candidate, the gameplay is not as amusing as MW1 tho and towards the end starts to fail
      MW3 campaign is definitely skipable, its just… not good, nothing memorable, bad maps, bad new characthers, poor use of the already existant ones, only a couple good moments through the campaign

    • Walsh says:

      I quite enjoyed the story in Black Ops, it wasn’t hammer to the brain bad as MW2/3. So if you could only pick one, get Black Ops in my opinion.

      • Premium User Badge

        piratmonkey says:

        Agreed. Treyarch is handling the franchise better than Infinity Ward at this point.

      • Bhazor says:

        You thought the story of Blops was good?

        My gods.

        • Avish says:

          He said: “I quite enjoyed the story in Black Ops, it wasn’t hammer to the brain bad as MW2/3″.

          Not a word about being good or even close to being good.

          I thought it was silly but enjoyable.
          MW3 was idiotic and a waste of 5 hours.

        • Premium User Badge

          liquidsoap89 says:

          I felt like I was losing intelligence when I played the BLOPS campaign. It started making me angry.

          NOT ANYMORE!

    • Premium User Badge

      bear912 says:

      You could always pick up United Offensive sometime…

      But the suggestions made by folks here are solid. I’d agree with most of them.

    • chopsnsauce says:

      If you enjoyed the MW1 campaign, it’s definitely worth playing the MW2 and 3 campaigns. I personally enjoyed MW2 the most, followed by MW1 and then 3. 3 is worth playing because it ties up the story arc, it’s a fun campaign but doesn’t have the stand out moments of the first two.

      MW2 campaign is about 4-5 hours and MW3 about 6-7, so maybe £20 for both?

      • jroger says:

        There is a story arc in MW? Anyway, not having had played any other CoD game before, I really, really enjoyed MW 1, and found some of the levels quite thought-provoking. (Especially the bombing mission, which felt like a video game simulating the real world simulating a video game … that was about a year before that infamous video of an US helicopter shooting at civilians with the crew quipping like the crew in the game was released.) MW 2 seemed to try to one-up MW 1 in this regard, but just … failed. The absolutely ridiculous, illogical story line didn’t help a bit. MW 3 single player was just meh. And they even managed to butcher the fun-at-times multiplayer with tiny, cramped maps and a terrible FOV.

  17. Premium User Badge

    Fede says:

    Oh my, for a second I read “COD, Gollop” in the title and… you can guess.

    • Torgen says:

      Me too. I thought “What does it MEAN?” but no, no tactical turn-based combat.

  18. StranaMente says:

    That video saddened me. :-(

    • hello_mr.Trout says:

      why?

      • westyfield says:

        “Hello my friends, I’m an American teenager putting on an unconvincing Russian accent and shooting a lot of guns while swearing profusely. I’m now going to outright lie to you, my fans, in order to promote a videogame.”

    • Bhazor says:

      This isn’t even in the same league of shit as their “F.A.G.S” videos.

  19. Branthog says:

    I guess this is where I’m supposed to act like some sort of elitist because COD LOL LOSERS. But, you know, COD is still a pretty fine diversion, even if the maps were terribly poor this last time around which left anything but SMG pointless. The game, generally, is still fine. It’s just the fanbase that makes it intolerable.

    After MW3, I was convinced that if they didn’t step things up with the next iteration, it would be the start of the end for the franchise. Then, I realized that even if they lost 80% of their sales, they would still be the number one or two title of the year. In other words, the slow steady decline of innovation-less retreads could go on forever, before it reaches a point where it’d have to be shuttered.

    *sigh*

    • Jamesworkshop says:

      Yeah Cod is for dummies

      I’m going back to playing Unreal “what difference does it make what version it is” Tournament, where all the brainy smart people are

      • Brun says:

        Unreal Tournament (any version) is about 100 times better than any version of Call of Duty. Period.

  20. maskedskull.iv says:

    I felt that I just had to register to say this…

    I LOVE YOU!

    Thank you Alec Meer for the lols

  21. Terragot says:

    Yes I love FPS Russia. Now see if you can get the hodge twins into the next post Alec!

  22. woodsey says:

    Needs more feigned enthusiasm.

  23. Premium User Badge

    piratmonkey says:

    I actually really enjoyed CODBLOPS multiplayer.

    • Moni says:

      I didn’t like the multiplayer before, but I played the MW3 free weekend, and realised that the appeal isn’t in the shooting, which is terrible, it’s just the level grinding.

      You’re constantly progressing, and really quickly, so it’s easy to just log in for 20 minutes at lunch time and clock in a few points.

      • Premium User Badge

        piratmonkey says:

        To be perfectly honest, I was disappointed in MW3’s multiplayer. Treyarch made a lot of good advancements with BLOPS and Infinity Ward just rolled back the formula to MW2.

      • SanguineAngel says:

        This is exactly why the franchise exploded the way it did and how it manages to continue. It ain’t right but it is pretty clever. And being the first with their foot in the door, all imitators – no matter how accomplished – do not seem “official” and so most of the herd will continue to flock to CoD as their official supplier of the Grind Fest.

        Similarly so with WoW in my view.

  24. SanguineAngel says:

    So is it just me or does their timer cause VISCERAL head pain in you guys?

    • westyfield says:

      It caused CINEMATIC and IMMERSIVE distress.

      • SanguineAngel says:

        Critics are calling the COD Timer “…CINEMATIC and IMMERSIVE…” (Westyfield, RPS)

        • bhagan says:

          IF THE TIMER RUNS DOWN, SOMETHING AWESOME HAS TO HAPPEN! TIMER AWESOME!

          • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

            >You will never again be able to use the words ‘cinematic’, ‘immersive’ and ‘visceral’ sincerely on RPS as descriptors.
            >Sadfrog.jpg

          • Raziel_Alex says:

            “TIMMERSIVE” is 2012’s buzzword.

  25. Cytrom says:

    I think this fits in here:

  26. Heliocentric says:

    I READ ROCKPAPERSHOTGUN FOR ALL OF MY GAME FRANCHISE NEWS

  27. Hakkesshu says:

    Why don’t you just *not* post this, since it’s hardly news to begin with? I don’t care about CoD, but this is too snarky even for you guys.

    • Premium User Badge

      Malibu Stacey says:

      Contrary to popular belief, some of us actually like the satire articles like this one posted here.

      Also, their site, they can do what they like.

    • Cameron says:

      We have too many tech & gaming news site fawning over and going out of their way to please the mighty publishers; we need snark. It’s a refreshing change from “Oh my god, producer-name-here, that’s so good!” at the slightest hint of a screenshot.

      Think of it like England. In a world of over the top political correctness we need Prince Philip for a bit of light relief every now and again.

    • Shooop says:

      RPS may be the only video game-themed site on the internet that isn’t afraid to call the modern CoD series what is really is; bombastic, empty-headed light shows.

      I can’t find any others. GameSpot? Not a chance? Giant Bomb? Nope. Destructiod? Hah!

  28. Premium User Badge

    machinaexdeus says:

    Sorry I am too busy watching my Stalker 2 timer.

    Although it appears to be broken.

    • Milos says:

      If you stare at it hard enough you will notice it started ticking down. Then you will realize it’s the countdown to your inevitable death and not time until STALKER 2 comes out. Depressed, you will decide to end your life but you will want to do it in a way that honors the memory of the great franchise. The only worthy answer is – getting shot in an irradiated area. You will head to Chernobyl NPP and then, as you are trudging through irradiated underbrush with a semi-automatic in your hand, you will realize that is STALKER 2.

  29. Roxton says:

    CODBLOPS. Oh, I love it.

  30. rei says:

    I guess you had to draw the line somewhere and leave out the racial, sexist and homophobic abuse.

    • Cameron says:

      Daily Mail should be required to carry a message noting that it does not reflect the views of sane British people on the front page of every edition.

      As for your question I did both at the same time.

    • Premium User Badge

      machinaexdeus says:

      that must be a sponsored article right? You just have to love the replies, DM replies section is always entertaining reading.

    • Jamesworkshop says:

      Tip for hilarious joke, points out tabloid being a tabloid

      laughs ensue

    • Cameron says:

      Now it looks like they are trying to cover up that they made a mistake as all the comments pointing out that it’s just a CGI promo for a game have mysteriously vanished from the comments section.

  31. noclip says:

    This could stand to be more subtle.

  32. RockandGrohl says:

    I think that RPS should just go all-out on how bad COD is, especially for the gaming industry. Do a piece on how negatively it affects other developers perceptions of us, the gaming audience. How because of COD’s amazing sales and outlandish DLC strategy that is working simply because of the 12 year old fanbase, COD is influencing other developers to release DLC all year and cut out half their games and include unnecessary multiplayer.

    Fact is, if you barred anyone younger than 16 from playing COD (The games’ age rating) then I bet that half the player base would be gone straight away.

  33. ThatGuy says:

    I dunno, I got a feeling this one will be one to break the mold. I mean there is still stuff to look forward to, who will the bad guys be? Russians, or the Chinese? Perhaps they’ll throw in a curveball and it’ll be the North Koreans!

    All the possibilities. I just hope the MC is Manly Patriot Man Wot Kills Eastern Folk for a change, instead of generic Original Man.

    • djbriandamage says:

      As long as they exhibit some exotic skin colour or ethnic garb the rabid COD audience should relish in putting moist holes in them.

  34. S Jay says:

    For one second I thought RPS had been hacked.

  35. Maldomel says:

    I like COD actually. I mean, I never played the multi, just the campaigns. And I like that over the top, non sense action, and how they are putting more and more of it for each new game.

    • RockandGrohl says:

      Yeah, now you’ll get 6 hours of story instead of 5 for your £50 PC game.

      People like you -_________-

    • Bhazor says:

      But its… shit.

      I mean even for what it is…. it’s shit.

      If it’s an action film… it’s a shit one.

      The action is so disjointed, its so poorly scripted (the whole squad of soldiers shooting a lamp post springs to mind), it changes setting so erratically and the actual shooting is so surprisingly clumsy that it’s continued success has to be some mass hallucination.

      Even it’s multiplayer is shit. It’s unbalanced, it’s littered with exploits like no scoping, it’s rife with spawn camping and it just has such a sparse collection of maps.

      • Shooop says:

        Even it’s multiplayer is shit. It’s unbalanced, it’s littered with exploits like no scoping, it’s rife with spawn campin

        Funny that the same exact things can be said about CS.

  36. MadTinkerer says:

    Do they have the product placement in all versions of the website? Well anyway, I love how the TIMER link sent me to a page that said this:

    “CALL of DUTY
    WORLD REVEAL
    TUNE IN MAY 1ST
    Basketball playoffs on TNT”

    Activision, you guys have outdone yourselves again. You guys can’t resist product placement in your teaser page that’s literally such a tease we get more information about a cable channel’s sports broadcast schedule than the new CoD game. Or is this admitting that each CoD game is so much like the one before it, the fact that there’s basketball on TNT is actually more important than any of the features of the next CoD, because we already know exactly what the next CoD is going to be like?

    I would say at this point I’m going to go and watch basketball on TNT instead of buying CoD4, but

    1) Oh wait, we already did have CoD4, nevermind.

    2) I still haven’t bought MW3 because it’s indistinguishable from MW2, so it will be a while before I buy next-CoD anyway.

    • RakeShark says:

      Well of course they’re not gonna promote it during the hockey playoffs, they heard there are real Russians there. It might get a little awkward.

  37. robby5566 says:

    The first unlocked picture links to a marketing tie-in with FPSRussia…. I am so so afraid to see who’s sold their soul to this.

  38. Premium User Badge

    HermitUK says:

    I hope we shoot more lamp posts in this game. Cold War era lamp posts, naturally.

    Maybe the twist is that the lamp posts are all hallucinations. GOTY material, for sure.

  39. Iconik says:

    Video game snobbiness. Not I’ve seen it all.

    If the kids want to play COD, let the kids play COD. Without any of this threads holier-than-thou bullshit. Hell, I’m sure of them look at you guys wondering why in the fuck you’d play a text based game in 2012. And they’d have a point.

    Move along. Stop perpetuating that which you hate.

  40. reyn78 says:

    Careful what you wish for guys. If not for COD series the kids in question would most likely be playing “more adult” FPS of your choice – and then its sales would skyrocket and developers would realise where the money is coming from and OMG LOL you would have to look for another game…

    • Premium User Badge

      Malibu Stacey says:

      Quite literally this. I’m glad crap like CoD, Battlefield, Halo/Gears of War et al exist as it means I can continue ignoring them & their ilk while playing games with actual gameplay beyond “shoot angry man in face”.

      • Brun says:

        To be fair, compared to some of the FPS releases of the late 00’s, some of the earlier Halo games were quality pieces.

  41. Bane2087 says:

    O great and holy Activision, destroyer of Blizzard, milker of franchises, abuser of DLC and lord of douchebagery, please take my money for your latest downgraded version of Call of Duty 4. On second thought I will wait for ARMA3 instead.

  42. Hunchback says:

    I registered to express my approval of your opinion on the CoD franchise.

  43. RakeShark says:

    You’d be surprised how much PTSD makes you stand by your self-imposed limited FPS intake.

  44. kyrieee says:

    Cmon FPS russia, I thought you were better than that

    • Ultra-Humanite says:

      Better than what? Endorsing a game he already endorsed for free as FPSKyle?

  45. Premium User Badge

    Llewyn says:

    I don’t really see what principles have to do with it; COD just isn’t very interesting to many of us.

    Although that doesn’t mean I think RPS shouldn’t write about it. If I want a blog that’s just about things that interest me, I’ll write my own.

  46. Kleppy says:

    I played and enjoyed every single Call of Duty game ever released. Discuss.

    • chopsnsauce says:

      I’ve played and enjoyed MW1 to 3 and BLOPs. ALL good games.

      What people seem to miss is how much game you get for your money:

      Campaign+multiplayer+special ops/zombies/dead ops arcade game. No one else sells a game with as much content.

      Still, I suppose it’s cool to hate what’s popular. Its funny that other linear FPS games with a whole lot less replayability (Hello HL2!) get no stick whatsoever!

    • Booch says:

      “I played and enjoyed THE single Call of Duty game ever released”

  47. Shooop says:

    Your last paragraph makes it.

  48. Jorum says:

    I cannot be repeated enough that today the Daily Mail published an article that though that video was real.