Valve Invite You To Meet The Pyro…Soon

By Adam Smith on June 25th, 2012 at 4:37 pm.

Edit: Errrrr, also a massive update for TF2. Details below.

So, that Valve/Adult Swim collaboration. As many speculated, it will be the Meet the Pyro video and, yes, ‘will be’. It was foolish of us to think that the video would just appear without any foreplay, so instead there’s the image above, which tells us that something else will happen on June 27th. I’m guessing that actually will be the video, unless they choose to release one frame every couple of days, some hidden at secret locations around the world, the precise position hidden in Morse code messages transmitted on secret websites that can only be found by reading tea leaves through a specific kaleidoscope constructed in 1924.

What will we learn?

Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: he sets things on fire and he doesn’t speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit. Either way, he’s a fearsome, inscrutable, on-fire Frankenstein of a man – if he even is a man.

On-fire men are among the most worrying kinds of men.

Edit: Of course, when I wrote that, thinking there was just a teaser image, I was sorely mistaken. That’ll teach me to make jokes about being teased by images. Team Fortress 2 has actually been updated, which I failed to notice, kicking off a week of Pyromania.

Day One of Pyromania reveals Doomsday, a new map with a brand new game mode that lets you relive one of the darkest days in TF history. It’s all pretty heartwrenching, until you discover you’ll get achievements, which are also detailed in today’s update.

Keep your eyes open, folks. We’ll be announcing a bunch of new stuff this week, right up until the premiere of Meet the Pyro this Wednesday.

Obviously, my initial post remains, testament to my lack of brilliance.

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70 Comments »

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  1. Ross Mills says:

    You’re worried by flaming men?

    Oh dear… :P

  2. Hilden2000 says:

    “He”? What’s this ‘he” business? Everybody knows the Pyro’s female!

  3. Etalyx says:

    You might consider reading the official TF2 blog, which states plainly that the video will be revealed on Wednesday, among other details… ;)

    • egg-zoo-bear-ant will e 91 says:

      Hmm maybe I should take my tranquilizers and wake up then

  4. Tehninjah says:

    Holy shit have I waited for this.

    Oh, and monkeynauts!

  5. CrookedLittleVein says:

    Looks like things are heating up.

  6. Dozer says:

    Urist McPyro has picked up a !!xPig Tail Sockx!!

    • Premium User Badge

      Dilapinated says:

      Urist McPyro cancels Capture Point: Spychecking Team-Mate on the other side of the map.

  7. Iain_1986 says:

    So there was a build up….to the release of an image….announcing the release of a trailer, for the actual product/update.

    People give the film industry stick sometimes for having “trailers for trailers”, but man is this not getting a bit OTT?

  8. Kaira- says:

    Coming June 27, 2012

    So… if we add Valve Time to mix… maybe sometime in January 2013?

  9. Unaco says:

    So, is this a taster of a teaser for a trailer? Or is this the teaser and the taster was announced previously? Whatever… I’ll still watch it when it comes out, even though I don’t play the game, and am unlikely to.

    • ReV_VAdAUL says:

      They did the same with Prometheus, teasing a teaser trailer with an image and then later doing a teaser trailer for a full trailer.

      And they’re both related to fire, at least tenuously…

      • ResonanceCascade says:

        I certainly felt burned after paying to see Prometheus.

  10. Premium User Badge

    Nero says:

    This should be very great indeed. In the meantime I’m going to rewatch Ignis Solus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRARcZL-4XM

  11. elmo.dudd says:

    “Medic!” despite being muffled, isn’t speaking?

  12. Maxheadroom says:

    What was the update they were hinting about ages ago that they promised wouldnt be just a new map or new hats? They were making a lot of noise about it at the time

    What did that turn out to be in the end?

  13. Premium User Badge

    RaveTurned says:

    In *entirely unrelated* news… it’s about the right time for a crazy Steam sale, and Wednesday is exactly a week before a large public holiday in the US.

    Watch your wallets, ladies and gents.

  14. Premium User Badge

    Vandelay says:

    So, what is the Adult Swim connection? I don’t see why they would team up for a Meet the… short when they haven’t required anyone else before. There must be more than this.

    • Delusibeta says:

      I’m still willing to bet that it’ll turn out that Meet The Pyro will debut on Adult Swim, or at the very least be broadcast on it.

  15. Hunchback says:

    “unless they choose to release one frame every couple of days, some hidden at secret locations around the world, the precise position hidden in Morse code messages transmitted on secret websites that can only be found by reading tea leaves through a specific kaleidoscope constructed in 1924.”

    Made my day :D

  16. grizzled young man says:

    Is Valve ever going to actually do a new full length video game, like, perhaps, Half Life 2 Episode 3? Cause, I mean, they promised to. And I spent a bunch of money on Ep 1 and Ep 2, expecting there to be an Ep 3. Cause there was a cliffhanger and shit.

    Maybe I’m just too dumb to see the value in hiring economists, trying to save American schools and doing late night animation.

    I’m rooting for you Valve, but you’re turning into a TED-style fraud.

    • Vinraith says:

      It’ll actually be interesting to see if Valve ever makes a non-F2P game of any stripe again.

      • Delusibeta says:

        Counter Strike: Global Offensive says hi. Granted, it’s going to be a $15 digital-download-only affair, but still: not free to play.

        • Premium User Badge

          Malibu Stacey says:

          Sadly for Vinraith that’s one of those horrid games which forces you to play with other people so he won’t be interested.

      • Brun says:

        I think they will, for Half Life at least. But they’re likely saving Half Life 3 for when they have something really revolutionary tech-wise to show off – possibly whatever their biometrics research manages to produce.

        • grizzled young man says:

          Biometrics research? Lolz. Valve is turning into the kind of nebulous research corporation they used to write games about.

  17. Stochastic says:

    What would be really interesting is if they released a 10th class. I would gladly trade in all my hats for one!

    What am I saying? I don’t mean to be a spoilsport. Thanks for all the free updates, Valve!

  18. The Dark One says:

    So Doomsday is basically Nuclear from TFC with a little pl_ added in?

  19. Shooop says:

    A teaser image for a trailer.

    Even Valve has fallen for the film industry’s most annoying habits. What’s next, QTEs in the next Half-Life?

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      They’ll skip the game altogether and just make a movie.

  20. Legionary says:

    I would’ve loved this a couple of years ago, but the MannCo Store and a watered down aesthetic and game design have left me rather cold to TF2. No amount of marketting (however expertily done) is going to generate that zealous excitement I once felt.

  21. DickSocrates says:

    1) Spend an obscene amount of time fine tuning a game’s art design and gameplay.
    2) Post release, mes up everything you worked on.
    3) Profit.

    And because it’s Valve, they do get the profit.

  22. JBantha says:

    “…reading tea leaves through a specific kaleidoscope constructed in 1924.”
    I have the teas, the kaleidoscope, the time, and a 1924 star map opened in SkyView. And so I have the time.

  23. ResonanceCascade says:

    I’m quite the Valve fan, but even I can’t fathom how they’ve managed to turn the release of a two minute short into such big news. I’m glad to see another short from them, but yeesh.