Inevitable Hot Stuff: Meet The Pyro

By Jim Rossignol on June 27th, 2012 at 7:15 pm.


It’s been a long time coming, but finally…

UPDATE: Valve announce they are releasing Source Filmmaker. “The goal of the SFM was to develop a story telling tool that allowed us to create computer animated movies more efficiently, and with greater creative freedom,” said Bay Raitt, designer at Valve. “Over the past five years, we’ve produced more than 50 animated shorts with the SFM. The Source Filmmaker will allow our community to create their own movies in Team Fortress 2 and in their own Source SDK-created mods.”

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121 Comments »

  1. changeling101 says:

    Oh my

  2. keikaku says:

    That was nothing like I expected and every bit as good as I was hoping.

  3. HermitUK says:

    I certainly chuckled. Not their best video, but good nonetheless.

    Though it reminded me a lot of the Little Sister section in BioShock 2. Which is less amusing.

  4. Xocrates says:

    Well, I did not see that one coming.

  5. Nevard says:

    This was everything I could have asked for.

    He is not unmasked, he still does not speak, excellent.

    • sub-program 32 says:

      He whistles now though.

    • jvu123 says:

      @Nevard, how do you know its a ‘he’ pyro could be a she???????? Mind Blown!

      • pepper says:

        The scout says ‘he’s not here, is he?!’. So I presume its a male figure. Although everyone else talks about it as if its a object/machine.

        • The Hammer says:

          Actually, if you watch it with sub-titles, the text comes up as “He’s not there, is she?”

          Heh.

          • pepper says:

            Nice! Although the happy unicorn world sings about a girl, although that doesnt directly imply that he/she/it is a girl.

        • Richeh says:

          But the Spy muses on what the Pyro looks like behind the mask. Which to me meant that the other characters don’t know, either.

    • LionsPhil says:

      It’s a shame it’s not up to the heights of Spy or Medic (both narratively, and in terms of closeness to gameplay), but it is indeed good they avoided those, yes.

      Love the headtilt while he’s roasting the sniper.

      • Godwhacker says:

        I think it’s up there with Meet the Spy / Medic / Sniper. It was completely unexpected and very, very funny.

        Also, anyone else notice the use of the Relaxation Vault from Portal 2?

    • RodeoClown says:

      I love the fact they kept their promise to show us “What’s behind the pyro’s mask”, while still keeping everything still a mystery.

      Also – with 150+ hours as pyro, that was EXACTLY how I saw the world. And in the game.

  6. Phantoon says:

    I KNEW IT!

  7. deadpan says:

    Well at least it answers the man or woman question once and for all.

  8. EPICTHEFAIL says:

    Confirmation that the Pyro is in fact a girl. One might say, she`s quite hot (YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!).

    • Fumarole says:

      I was wondering how long it would someone to fire off a pun.

      • HothMonster says:

        Can we just extinguish the pun thread now? If someone doesn’t keep an eye on these they tend to get out of control.

        • LionsPhil says:

          We really should axe them, yeah.

          • pepper says:

            Someone should get fired over this.

          • grundus says:

            It’s comments like these that make pun trains flare up, you’re part of the problem!

          • NailBombed says:

            Nonsense. The people who keep the puns flowing are real trailblazers.

          • Unaco says:

            I am trying real hard to get a spark of inspiration to contribute something… but I think I’m a little burned out on the puns just now.

            Edit: Should refresh before I post a pun. I’m burning with embarrassment after seeing noom got there first.

          • Chris D says:

            I feel like I should join in fer no good reason.

          • The Gear says:

            There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to what articles these pun threads are on. They just flare up every now and again.

          • MrEvilGuy says:

            I don’t think I can match you guys.

          • Grargh says:

            This article was just masking for it, really.

          • Sassenach says:

            You can’t just kill a pun thread, though. Eventually you’ll have a backdraft and it’ll be right back to business.

        • noom says:

          Yeah, I’m getting a bit burnt out on them. They just end up as flame-wars half the time.

  9. faillord_adam says:

    So the Pyro’s a brony. It makes so much sense now…

    Wait, Source Film maker?

    • KauhuK says:

      Yep, http://www.sourcefilmmaker.com/

      Valve y u so awesome.

      • kael13 says:

        This is the real story. This is absolutely huge for machinima makers and amateur animators. I got goosebumps from the video demonstration.

        • Keymonk says:

          Me too, and I have absolutely no intentions of ever making films. :D

        • PodX140 says:

          Seriously, this is the absolutely real story. Say what you will, but valve is just behind pixar in animation quality, IMO.

          To have that kind of tool given away to people for free (I assume)? That’s just the valve we’ve come to love (Also, insane. But mostly love.)

      • State says:

        The SFM is fantastic news for me. <3 Valve.

      • zeroskill says:

        I don’t think any of us is ready for what the TF2 community will be doing with this tool.

        • ZyloMarkIII says:

          I’m anticipating the videos that will be developed when Source Filmmaker extends beyond the reach of Team Fortress 2. Perhaps the realm of Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines is not too far off from benefiting from this.

          • Grey Ganado says:

            The Source Film Maker is compatible with every source game and mod.

          • ZyloMarkIII says:

            Q. Does the SFM work with other Valve Source games and mods?
            At this time, the SFM is only being released for Team Fortress 2. Users familiar with modding with the Source engine will be able to mod the SFM build of TF2 to create new worlds.

            Off the Source Filmmaker website. So it might be a while before other Source games get their compatibility with the SFM, though with the community as it is, I’m sure we’ll see movies based in the other worlds sooner than expected.

    • Hoaxfish says:

      As someone said elsewhere… bright colours and unicorns in a fantasy land existed well before my little pony, let alone “bronies”.

  10. Phantoon says:

    I now want a mod that changes everything to Pyro vision.

  11. Symce says:

    I think the Pyro spend a bit too much time in Whimsyshire in D3

  12. Maldomel says:

    My Little Pyro?

    Seriously this is why I love Team Fortress 2.

  13. LTK says:

    It’s everything I ever wanted, and more.

  14. fearghaill says:

    ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

    also people are trying way too hard to turn magical candy land into MLP. It’s not, however much you want it to be.

  15. shrk says:

    well
    magic mushrooms have some explaining to do

  16. SkittleDiddler says:

    That was flippin’ awesome.

  17. Beelzebud says:

    Stuff like this is why Valve is king.

    I wonder if the game update comes today, or tomorrow. They’re so vague about everything.

  18. Defiant Badger says:

    Darn. I was hoping for something more in the lines of Meet the Spy… but I guess that’s because I like the spy.

  19. Buttless Boy says:

    I think somebody at Valve’s a Fleischer fan.

    Edited for stupidity.

  20. Real Horrorshow says:

    So the Pyro is either a woman or gay. But we knew that since the purse in the locker.

    Awesome video.

    • Koozer says:

      /disapproving look meme

      • Real Horrorshow says:

        I’m complimenting the video for not spilling all the beans. It’s better not to know.

        • Droopy The Dog says:

          Don’t ask don’t tell™? How very forward thinki-… Nope, I can’t do it, I know that’s not what you meant but “it’s better not to know”, after everything else you said, just made me chuckle.

          Which is good ’cause the stupid assertion that the cutesy colours are clear evidence pyro likes men/lacks-testicles made my eyes roll so hard they hurt, so you owed me a laugh.

    • Sirbolt says:

      Wait, so a purse in your locker is evidence of either your sex or sexual orientation?

      • Real Horrorshow says:

        Let’s not force the PCness too hard, now. Owning and carrying a purse with a flower on it indicates about 3 things, two of which are much more likely than the third and indicate a preference for men.

        • TCM says:

          Bright colors are gay, anyone who dreams of candy and unicorns is a woman, and flowers are for transsexuals.

          CLEARLY THIS IS THE MOST FACTUAL STATEMENT ANYONE HAS EVER MADE AND THERE ARE NO OTHER POSSIBILITIES. NOPE NO STEREOTYPES HERE.

          • yutt says:

            Quick! Someone tell Rebecca Watson so she can incite faux-outrage to increase web-traffic fight oppression!

          • Real Horrorshow says:

            I AM AN EASILY OFFENDED WUSS.

          • Droopy The Dog says:

            That would explain the need to defend stupid statements in the face of rational thinking, if admitting you’d ever be wrong hurts your feelings too much…

            Not so much something to shout about though, I’d downplay it a bit more if I were you.

          • Man Raised by Puffins says:

            The Pyro is Tinky Winky, obv.

    • Hoaxfish says:

      unless it’s reversed, and a pink handbag looks like a cool manbag type thing.

    • HothMonster says:

      It’s rude to imply only woman and gays can be bat-shit insane and live in a happy wonderful fantasy world while destroying the world around them.

    • Swanny says:

      Also- the first line of the dream sequence:

      Do you believe in magic
      In a young girl’s heart…

      Not that that’s proof or anything, a hint maybe?

    • kikito says:

      > is either a woman or gay. But we knew that since the purse in the locker.

      He could also be European.

  21. shwoop says:

    I was about to buy a nexus 7 but think I’ll be buying a new gaming rig to make use of the film maker instead.
    VALVe amaze me once again.

  22. Syra says:

    I was laughing pretty much the whole way through and I don’t even like TF2!

  23. JB says:

    Cherub Medic is adorable!

  24. CMaster says:

    I didn’t think it was that great, it has to be said. However, good to see the set complete, and it certainly wasn’t bad.

    Also: ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

  25. The Dark One says:

    That unicorn is totally going to show up as a for-pay courier in Dota 2.

  26. Brise Bonbons says:

    Didn’t really do much for me, honestly. I could waste a lot of virtual ink rationalizing it, but it comes down to not thinking it’s a very clever or funny idea. More like a throwaway gimmick that got stretched way too long, and isn’t interesting or cohesive enough to survive prolonged examination.

    Maybe the babies were just too creepy for me? Or I’m just bitter towards TF2, more likely.

    EDIT: Source filmmaker is a nice gesture, props to Valve for that.

    • Xzi says:

      *Grabs torch and pitchfork*

      HIPSTEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

    • Stochastic says:

      Yeah, I agree. The conceit wasn’t quite funny enough to sustain it all the way through. Personally, I was hoping for something a little meatier along the lines of Meet the Sniper, Spy, Medic, etc. where we would get a little more backstory. But hey, who am I to complain when Valve releases a free video, game content, and the very tool they use to make their awesome shorts nearly 5 YEARS AFTER THE RELEASE OF TF2!

      Also, Pyro vision is pretty awesome even if it isn’t as funny as Valve thinks it is.

    • Hypernetic says:

      Kill it with rainbows!

    • Davie says:

      I agree, if only because I expected the last Meet the Team video to be the best of them all, especially since they’ve been steadily increasing in quality. This one probably had the least character out of all of them–it feels like the singular gag they used has been running through the community since day one. And I was kind of hoping for an unmasking, or at least a hint in that direction…sigh.

    • Eddy9000 says:

      You’re absolutely no fun at all.

    • RodeoClown says:

      This was my favourite. And I LOVED that they just kept going, and going, and going with the joke.

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  28. EPICTHEFAIL says:

    The “secret” links are hilarious, by the way.

  29. AzureBlu says:

    Soo… When do we get cm_pyroland?

  30. sub-program 32 says:

    One thing that always gets me after four times watching it (so far) is how amazingly happy the Pyro sounds just before he “gives baby heavy a lollipop”. He is probably the happiest member of the entire TF2 team and simultainously the most feared by the others.
    Also, god knows what was happening in the real world during the unicorn bit. Presumably something so traumatising the video decided not flip out of Pyrovision for it…

  31. Lemming says:

    Not he, not she, just a fucking psycho. Love it!

    I also would have accepted him talking like Professor Frink and announcing his name as Gordon Freeman and that TF2 was HL episode 3 all along: the mother of all fanboy rage baiting!

  32. Bob says:

    “I don’t want to set the world on fire; I only want to put a flame in your heart”……and I’ll fricassee a couple of other vital organs while I’m about it.

  33. MeestaNob says:

    This is simply amazing.

  34. Coccyx says:

    MY THEORY

    The pyro couldn’t cope with all the horrible, horrible things she had to do. She kept braking down. Bursting into tears in the middle of battle. Mann Co had to do something. What we just saw is the product of an unrelenting mind-overloading drug program, combined with that special ‘optical mask’ to grant her peace of mind.

  35. Eddy9000 says:

    Just amazing. At least one games company released a video that made me happy this week.

    EDIT oh dear me it just gets funnier every time I watch it.

  36. JD Ogre says:

    Awesome. Second only to Meet the Medic.

  37. Stackler says:

    I fucking love you Valve. These guys are the best game company out there.

  38. Buemba says:

    The way the Pyro killed the Medic actually bothered me. I don’t know why that specifically got such a reaction from me considering the rest of the video is filled with cruel acts that didn’t make me raise an eyebrow…

  39. The Godzilla Hunter says:

    I’m not sure if this makes the pyro the most crazy, or the least. On the one hand, he/she/it is totally out of his/her/its minds, but then again, he/she/it is so nice. Sorta.

  40. Kollega says:

    It… wasn’t really all that funny, now was it? I mean, i get it, Pyro is absolutely skull-on-dick insane, but it’s more disturbing than funny. I didn’t even laugh.

    But the Source Filmmaker is good news, i guess.

  41. Vinraith says:

    Well I’ll give them credit, that’s the funniest “Meet the…” in awhile. I was disappointed by Spy and Medic (give me Sniper or Demo any day of the week), but that was just messed up enough to make me laugh.

    • LionsPhil says:

      You didn’t like Spy? But it had humour, drama, and best of all played it pretty close to how the class functions in the actual game (sapping, backstabbing, and disguising), which is a pretty severe weakness in this one I’d say.

    • EPICTHEFAIL says:

      How dare you diss Medic? If not for anything else, at least the music made it awesome by default.

      • Shadowcat says:

        Speaking, admittedly, as someone who doesn’t play the game, I thought that Meet the Medic was definitely one of the worst in the series. As I recall it was far too long for the sake of jokes which just weren’t that amusing; not a good combination. (*checks* Yes, a ludicrous four minutes of not-very-funny. A writing and editing failure, basically; they could probably have produced a fine 90-second video if they’d put their minds to it.)

        For entertainment value, this new one was a huge improvement.

  42. De_willy says:

    That’s just amazing. That video put a “ear to ear” smile on my face! =)

  43. freduardo says:

    It’s a well done vid and pretty funny for the first 10 seconds or so after the joke hits, but ultimately I think it’ll be about as memorable as the Scout. Cute but certainly not groundbreaking.

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