Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Inevitable Hot Stuff: Meet The Pyro

By Jim Rossignol on June 27th, 2012 at 7:15 pm.


It’s been a long time coming, but finally…

UPDATE: Valve announce they are releasing Source Filmmaker. “The goal of the SFM was to develop a story telling tool that allowed us to create computer animated movies more efficiently, and with greater creative freedom,” said Bay Raitt, designer at Valve. “Over the past five years, we’ve produced more than 50 animated shorts with the SFM. The Source Filmmaker will allow our community to create their own movies in Team Fortress 2 and in their own Source SDK-created mods.”

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121 Comments »

  1. 27/06/2012 at 19:17 changeling101 says:

    Oh my

  2. 27/06/2012 at 19:18 keikaku says:

    That was nothing like I expected and every bit as good as I was hoping.

  3. 27/06/2012 at 19:18 HermitUK says:

    I certainly chuckled. Not their best video, but good nonetheless.

    Though it reminded me a lot of the Little Sister section in BioShock 2. Which is less amusing.

  4. 27/06/2012 at 19:18 Xocrates says:

    Well, I did not see that one coming.

  5. 27/06/2012 at 19:18 Nevard says:

    This was everything I could have asked for.

    He is not unmasked, he still does not speak, excellent.

    • 27/06/2012 at 19:49 sub-program 32 says:

      He whistles now though.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:23 jvu123 says:

      @Nevard, how do you know its a ‘he’ pyro could be a she???????? Mind Blown!

      • 27/06/2012 at 21:35 pepper says:

        The scout says ‘he’s not here, is he?!’. So I presume its a male figure. Although everyone else talks about it as if its a object/machine.

        • 27/06/2012 at 21:39 The Hammer says:

          Actually, if you watch it with sub-titles, the text comes up as “He’s not there, is she?”

          Heh.

          • 28/06/2012 at 09:56 pepper says:

            Nice! Although the happy unicorn world sings about a girl, although that doesnt directly imply that he/she/it is a girl.

        • 28/06/2012 at 10:47 Richeh says:

          But the Spy muses on what the Pyro looks like behind the mask. Which to me meant that the other characters don’t know, either.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:44 LionsPhil says:

      It’s a shame it’s not up to the heights of Spy or Medic (both narratively, and in terms of closeness to gameplay), but it is indeed good they avoided those, yes.

      Love the headtilt while he’s roasting the sniper.

      • 27/06/2012 at 23:47 Godwhacker says:

        I think it’s up there with Meet the Spy / Medic / Sniper. It was completely unexpected and very, very funny.

        Also, anyone else notice the use of the Relaxation Vault from Portal 2?

    • 27/06/2012 at 23:10 RodeoClown says:

      I love the fact they kept their promise to show us “What’s behind the pyro’s mask”, while still keeping everything still a mystery.

      Also – with 150+ hours as pyro, that was EXACTLY how I saw the world. And in the game.

  6. 27/06/2012 at 19:22 Phantoon says:

    I KNEW IT!

  7. 27/06/2012 at 19:23 deadpan says:

    Well at least it answers the man or woman question once and for all.

  8. 27/06/2012 at 19:24 EPICTHEFAIL says:

    Confirmation that the Pyro is in fact a girl. One might say, she`s quite hot (YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!).

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:57 Fumarole says:

      I was wondering how long it would someone to fire off a pun.

      • 27/06/2012 at 21:19 HothMonster says:

        Can we just extinguish the pun thread now? If someone doesn’t keep an eye on these they tend to get out of control.

        • 27/06/2012 at 21:28 LionsPhil says:

          We really should axe them, yeah.

          • 27/06/2012 at 21:39 pepper says:

            Someone should get fired over this.

          • 27/06/2012 at 21:47 grundus says:

            It’s comments like these that make pun trains flare up, you’re part of the problem!

          • 27/06/2012 at 22:28 NailBombed says:

            Nonsense. The people who keep the puns flowing are real trailblazers.

          • 27/06/2012 at 22:42 Unaco says:

            I am trying real hard to get a spark of inspiration to contribute something… but I think I’m a little burned out on the puns just now.

            Edit: Should refresh before I post a pun. I’m burning with embarrassment after seeing noom got there first.

          • 27/06/2012 at 22:47 Chris D says:

            I feel like I should join in fer no good reason.

          • 27/06/2012 at 23:38 The Gear says:

            There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to what articles these pun threads are on. They just flare up every now and again.

          • 28/06/2012 at 06:50 MrEvilGuy says:

            I don’t think I can match you guys.

          • 28/06/2012 at 07:47 Grargh says:

            This article was just masking for it, really.

          • 28/06/2012 at 15:57 Sassenach says:

            You can’t just kill a pun thread, though. Eventually you’ll have a backdraft and it’ll be right back to business.

        • 27/06/2012 at 22:11 noom says:

          Yeah, I’m getting a bit burnt out on them. They just end up as flame-wars half the time.

  9. 27/06/2012 at 19:28 faillord_adam says:

    So the Pyro’s a brony. It makes so much sense now…

    Wait, Source Film maker?

    • 27/06/2012 at 19:34 KauhuK says:

      Yep, http://www.sourcefilmmaker.com/

      Valve y u so awesome.

      • 27/06/2012 at 20:08 kael13 says:

        This is the real story. This is absolutely huge for machinima makers and amateur animators. I got goosebumps from the video demonstration.

        • 27/06/2012 at 20:17 Keymonk says:

          Me too, and I have absolutely no intentions of ever making films. :D

        • 27/06/2012 at 20:17 PodX140 says:

          Seriously, this is the absolutely real story. Say what you will, but valve is just behind pixar in animation quality, IMO.

          To have that kind of tool given away to people for free (I assume)? That’s just the valve we’ve come to love (Also, insane. But mostly love.)

      • 27/06/2012 at 20:29 State says:

        The SFM is fantastic news for me. <3 Valve.

      • 27/06/2012 at 20:43 zeroskill says:

        I don’t think any of us is ready for what the TF2 community will be doing with this tool.

        • 27/06/2012 at 23:32 ZyloMarkIII says:

          I’m anticipating the videos that will be developed when Source Filmmaker extends beyond the reach of Team Fortress 2. Perhaps the realm of Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines is not too far off from benefiting from this.

          • 27/06/2012 at 23:50 Grey Ganado says:

            The Source Film Maker is compatible with every source game and mod.

          • 28/06/2012 at 00:16 ZyloMarkIII says:

            Q. Does the SFM work with other Valve Source games and mods?
            At this time, the SFM is only being released for Team Fortress 2. Users familiar with modding with the Source engine will be able to mod the SFM build of TF2 to create new worlds.

            Off the Source Filmmaker website. So it might be a while before other Source games get their compatibility with the SFM, though with the community as it is, I’m sure we’ll see movies based in the other worlds sooner than expected.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:09 Hoaxfish says:

      As someone said elsewhere… bright colours and unicorns in a fantasy land existed well before my little pony, let alone “bronies”.

  10. 27/06/2012 at 19:28 Phantoon says:

    I now want a mod that changes everything to Pyro vision.

  12. 27/06/2012 at 19:31 Symce says:

    I think the Pyro spend a bit too much time in Whimsyshire in D3

  13. 27/06/2012 at 19:32 Maldomel says:

    My Little Pyro?

    Seriously this is why I love Team Fortress 2.

  14. 27/06/2012 at 19:36 LTK says:

    It’s everything I ever wanted, and more.

  15. 27/06/2012 at 19:42 fearghaill says:

    ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

    also people are trying way too hard to turn magical candy land into MLP. It’s not, however much you want it to be.

  16. 27/06/2012 at 19:42 shrk says:

    well
    magic mushrooms have some explaining to do

  17. 27/06/2012 at 19:43 SkittleDiddler says:

    That was flippin’ awesome.

  18. 27/06/2012 at 19:50 Beelzebud says:

    Stuff like this is why Valve is king.

    I wonder if the game update comes today, or tomorrow. They’re so vague about everything.

  19. 27/06/2012 at 19:51 Defiant Badger says:

    Darn. I was hoping for something more in the lines of Meet the Spy… but I guess that’s because I like the spy.

  20. 27/06/2012 at 19:53 Buttless Boy says:

    I think somebody at Valve’s a Fleischer fan.

    Edited for stupidity.

  21. 27/06/2012 at 19:59 Real Horrorshow says:

    So the Pyro is either a woman or gay. But we knew that since the purse in the locker.

    Awesome video.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:14 Koozer says:

      /disapproving look meme

      • 27/06/2012 at 20:24 Real Horrorshow says:

        I’m complimenting the video for not spilling all the beans. It’s better not to know.

        • 27/06/2012 at 21:13 Droopy The Dog says:

          Don’t ask don’t tell™? How very forward thinki-… Nope, I can’t do it, I know that’s not what you meant but “it’s better not to know”, after everything else you said, just made me chuckle.

          Which is good ’cause the stupid assertion that the cutesy colours are clear evidence pyro likes men/lacks-testicles made my eyes roll so hard they hurt, so you owed me a laugh.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:14 Sirbolt says:

      Wait, so a purse in your locker is evidence of either your sex or sexual orientation?

      • 27/06/2012 at 20:23 Real Horrorshow says:

        Let’s not force the PCness too hard, now. Owning and carrying a purse with a flower on it indicates about 3 things, two of which are much more likely than the third and indicate a preference for men.

        • 27/06/2012 at 20:29 TCM says:

          Bright colors are gay, anyone who dreams of candy and unicorns is a woman, and flowers are for transsexuals.

          CLEARLY THIS IS THE MOST FACTUAL STATEMENT ANYONE HAS EVER MADE AND THERE ARE NO OTHER POSSIBILITIES. NOPE NO STEREOTYPES HERE.

          • 27/06/2012 at 20:50 yutt says:

            Quick! Someone tell Rebecca Watson so she can incite faux-outrage to increase web-traffic fight oppression!

          • 27/06/2012 at 21:04 Real Horrorshow says:

            I AM AN EASILY OFFENDED WUSS.

          • 27/06/2012 at 21:22 Droopy The Dog says:

            That would explain the need to defend stupid statements in the face of rational thinking, if admitting you’d ever be wrong hurts your feelings too much…

            Not so much something to shout about though, I’d downplay it a bit more if I were you.

          • 27/06/2012 at 21:34 Man Raised by Puffins says:

            The Pyro is Tinky Winky, obv.

    • 27/06/2012 at 20:24 Hoaxfish says:

      unless it’s reversed, and a pink handbag looks like a cool manbag type thing.

    • 27/06/2012 at 21:35 HothMonster says:

      It’s rude to imply only woman and gays can be bat-shit insane and live in a happy wonderful fantasy world while destroying the world around them.

    • 28/06/2012 at 00:24 Swanny says:

      Also- the first line of the dream sequence:

      Do you believe in magic
      In a young girl’s heart…

      Not that that’s proof or anything, a hint maybe?

    • 28/06/2012 at 10:09 kikito says:

      > is either a woman or gay. But we knew that since the purse in the locker.

      He could also be European.

  22. 27/06/2012 at 20:00 shwoop says:

    I was about to buy a nexus 7 but think I’ll be buying a new gaming rig to make use of the film maker instead.
    VALVe amaze me once again.

  23. 27/06/2012 at 20:02 Syra says:

    I was laughing pretty much the whole way through and I don’t even like TF2!

  24. 27/06/2012 at 20:11 JB says:

    Cherub Medic is adorable!

  25. 27/06/2012 at 20:14 CMaster says:

    I didn’t think it was that great, it has to be said. However, good to see the set complete, and it certainly wasn’t bad.

    Also: ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

  26. 27/06/2012 at 20:15 The Dark One says:

    That unicorn is totally going to show up as a for-pay courier in Dota 2.

  27. 27/06/2012 at 20:22 Brise Bonbons says:

    Didn’t really do much for me, honestly. I could waste a lot of virtual ink rationalizing it, but it comes down to not thinking it’s a very clever or funny idea. More like a throwaway gimmick that got stretched way too long, and isn’t interesting or cohesive enough to survive prolonged examination.

    Maybe the babies were just too creepy for me? Or I’m just bitter towards TF2, more likely.

    EDIT: Source filmmaker is a nice gesture, props to Valve for that.

    • 27/06/2012 at 21:04 Xzi says:

      *Grabs torch and pitchfork*

      HIPSTEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

    • 27/06/2012 at 21:16 Stochastic says:

      Yeah, I agree. The conceit wasn’t quite funny enough to sustain it all the way through. Personally, I was hoping for something a little meatier along the lines of Meet the Sniper, Spy, Medic, etc. where we would get a little more backstory. But hey, who am I to complain when Valve releases a free video, game content, and the very tool they use to make their awesome shorts nearly 5 YEARS AFTER THE RELEASE OF TF2!

      Also, Pyro vision is pretty awesome even if it isn’t as funny as Valve thinks it is.

    • 27/06/2012 at 21:17 Hypernetic says:

      Kill it with rainbows!

    • 27/06/2012 at 21:18 Davie says:

      I agree, if only because I expected the last Meet the Team video to be the best of them all, especially since they’ve been steadily increasing in quality. This one probably had the least character out of all of them–it feels like the singular gag they used has been running through the community since day one. And I was kind of hoping for an unmasking, or at least a hint in that direction…sigh.

    • 28/06/2012 at 00:03 Eddy9000 says:

      You’re absolutely no fun at all.

    • 28/06/2012 at 02:39 RodeoClown says:

      This was my favourite. And I LOVED that they just kept going, and going, and going with the joke.

  28. 27/06/2012 at 20:46 ocelot113 says:

    Wanted to let the old school PC gamers know:

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  29. 27/06/2012 at 20:49 EPICTHEFAIL says:

    The “secret” links are hilarious, by the way.

  30. 27/06/2012 at 21:07 AzureBlu says:

    Soo… When do we get cm_pyroland?

  31. 27/06/2012 at 21:12 sub-program 32 says:

    One thing that always gets me after four times watching it (so far) is how amazingly happy the Pyro sounds just before he “gives baby heavy a lollipop”. He is probably the happiest member of the entire TF2 team and simultainously the most feared by the others.
    Also, god knows what was happening in the real world during the unicorn bit. Presumably something so traumatising the video decided not flip out of Pyrovision for it…

  32. 27/06/2012 at 22:56 Lemming says:

    Not he, not she, just a fucking psycho. Love it!

    I also would have accepted him talking like Professor Frink and announcing his name as Gordon Freeman and that TF2 was HL episode 3 all along: the mother of all fanboy rage baiting!

  33. 27/06/2012 at 23:06 Bob says:

    “I don’t want to set the world on fire; I only want to put a flame in your heart”……and I’ll fricassee a couple of other vital organs while I’m about it.

  34. 27/06/2012 at 23:08 MeestaNob says:

    This is simply amazing.

  35. 27/06/2012 at 23:20 Coccyx says:

    MY THEORY

    The pyro couldn’t cope with all the horrible, horrible things she had to do. She kept braking down. Bursting into tears in the middle of battle. Mann Co had to do something. What we just saw is the product of an unrelenting mind-overloading drug program, combined with that special ‘optical mask’ to grant her peace of mind.

  36. 28/06/2012 at 00:00 Eddy9000 says:

    Just amazing. At least one games company released a video that made me happy this week.

    EDIT oh dear me it just gets funnier every time I watch it.

  37. 28/06/2012 at 00:08 JD Ogre says:

    Awesome. Second only to Meet the Medic.

  38. 28/06/2012 at 00:28 Stackler says:

    I fucking love you Valve. These guys are the best game company out there.

  39. 28/06/2012 at 01:46 Buemba says:

    The way the Pyro killed the Medic actually bothered me. I don’t know why that specifically got such a reaction from me considering the rest of the video is filled with cruel acts that didn’t make me raise an eyebrow…

  40. 28/06/2012 at 03:56 The Godzilla Hunter says:

    I’m not sure if this makes the pyro the most crazy, or the least. On the one hand, he/she/it is totally out of his/her/its minds, but then again, he/she/it is so nice. Sorta.

  41. 28/06/2012 at 04:21 Kollega says:

    It… wasn’t really all that funny, now was it? I mean, i get it, Pyro is absolutely skull-on-dick insane, but it’s more disturbing than funny. I didn’t even laugh.

    But the Source Filmmaker is good news, i guess.

  42. 28/06/2012 at 05:01 Vinraith says:

    Well I’ll give them credit, that’s the funniest “Meet the…” in awhile. I was disappointed by Spy and Medic (give me Sniper or Demo any day of the week), but that was just messed up enough to make me laugh.

    • 28/06/2012 at 08:09 LionsPhil says:

      You didn’t like Spy? But it had humour, drama, and best of all played it pretty close to how the class functions in the actual game (sapping, backstabbing, and disguising), which is a pretty severe weakness in this one I’d say.

    • 28/06/2012 at 11:27 EPICTHEFAIL says:

      How dare you diss Medic? If not for anything else, at least the music made it awesome by default.

      • 30/06/2012 at 07:57 Shadowcat says:

        Speaking, admittedly, as someone who doesn’t play the game, I thought that Meet the Medic was definitely one of the worst in the series. As I recall it was far too long for the sake of jokes which just weren’t that amusing; not a good combination. (*checks* Yes, a ludicrous four minutes of not-very-funny. A writing and editing failure, basically; they could probably have produced a fine 90-second video if they’d put their minds to it.)

        For entertainment value, this new one was a huge improvement.

  43. 28/06/2012 at 17:16 De_willy says:

    That’s just amazing. That video put a “ear to ear” smile on my face! =)

  44. 28/06/2012 at 19:48 freduardo says:

    It’s a well done vid and pretty funny for the first 10 seconds or so after the joke hits, but ultimately I think it’ll be about as memorable as the Scout. Cute but certainly not groundbreaking.

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