By Nathan Grayson on June 28th, 2012 at 8:00 am.
Everyone, I have some regrettable news: I woke up this morning with the sudden realization that – in my heart of hearts – my truest wish has always been to lead a life of megalomaniacal supervillainy. So, incredibly long and spellbindingly interesting story short, I’ve wired the entire world to explode. Unless! You can tell me – without glancing about one nanometer below this sentence – what’s come of the Team Fortress team-up between Adult Swim and Valve. Mwahahaha, I can smell your fea– yeah, it’s a hat. Well, damn. I guess I’ll just go back to writing about videogames, then.
Specifically, the hat’s themed after popular Seth-Green-plays-with-action-figures television program, Robot Chicken, and can be obtained by signing up for Adult Swim’s newsletter. So basically, it’s a semi-diabolical means of roping you into a long-term commitment with the promise of More. So they say: “You’ll be the first to know when we have MORE new stuff coming down the ol’ Steam pipe-hole… Because this ain’t the last you’ll hear from Adult Swim and Valve. Stay tuned.”
And then there’s this bit from a related FAQ, which could mean anything: “Q. Are you making a Team Fortress cartoon? A. Go ask your mother.” In some cultures, of course, that means “Duh. What else would we be doing?” But in others, it translates to “Gah, stop asking that and go away.” Most likely, however, they mean it literally, so I’ll place an Official Journalistic Telephone Call to my mom, and I’m certain we’ll have this whole thing straightened out in a jiffy.
In other news, hot (oho!) on the heels of Meet The Pyro, Valve introduced (ohohoho!) the last batch of update items with this amazing Pyroland page. To answer your burning (KILL ME I CAN NO LONGER CONTROL THIS) questions, yes, the bubble-blowing horn thing is a real weapon and – as you probably suspected – Balloonicorn is a total alcoholic.