In July, Cute Things Will Die Violently

By Nathan Grayson on June 30th, 2012 at 12:00 pm.

The real victim here? Whales.

Well, presumably. I mean, you’re supposed to be protecting them, but – if I didn’t know any better – I’d say the world was designed specifically to slice, dice, burn, electrocute, and robo-punch these impractically helpless creatures in a variety of comedic ways. The very notion is, of course, madness, but sometimes – when I’m all alone on dark nights, rain attempting to drown the earth and flashes of lightning dramatically illuminating my face – I can’t help but wonder. I’m probably fretting about nothing, though. I’m sure Cute Things Dying Violently has perfectly benign intentions. And hey, now the Xbox Live Indie Games hit is coming to PC on July 17. There’s a trailer after the break, which depicts… well, I really shouldn’t have to explain this.

So it looks kinda like Lemmings mixed with copious flinging and enough sharp things to make even needles feel squeamish. It’s also only £1.99/$2.99, which is pretty great – given that it packs 60 levels, a bunch of challenges, and a fairly robust-looking level editor. That last part, especially, seems like it could make this kind of game endlessly amusing – provided, of course, that you’re an awful human being who loves nothing more than to sit around and devise new ways to make cute things die violently. And really, who isn’t?

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11 Comments »

  1. magnus says:

    Well just from the video I can honestly say, if it even was coming to steam I would even buy it in a sale, I’m certainly not installing a download client just to install one game.

    • Atic Atac says:

      Sir your post makes no sense

      • magnus says:

        OK., short version-I didn’t like the video at all ,seen that sort of thing before, thats it.

        • AlejandroDaJ says:

          Hey there, guy. I’m the game’s creator. Just wanted to point out that one of the sites it’ll be available on is Indievania, which doesn’t require you to install any middleware or anything to get the game. And even if you don’t like the violence, I hope the puzzles might catch your interest. Cheers!

  2. JD Ogre says:

    For cute things to die violently, we really need a Happy Tree Friends game. :)

    • Malk_Content says:

      There is one! Sadly it wasn’t very good, especially as your main objective was to not hurt the Friends. Now a game in which you have to try to maim cute animals, but also keep them alive for as long as possible (perhaps having that act as a score multiplier) would be quite fitting.

  3. noom says:

    Squeeeee! This really brings to mind a lot of the games I was playing on my 486 as a teenager… in a good way.

    Think a purchase may be in order.

  4. Gwilym says:

    Can you emphasise, a bit, ‘in?’… ‘In July.’

  5. LTK says:

    This looks a bit like what Angry Birds would be like if the birds were mortal. That comparison alone makes me think less favorably of this game than I rationally should. But who’s to say how good this game turns out to be?

  6. protester says:

    Its a total copy of seppukuties. I dont know why i remember that game, but i do. Either way i dont think this game will sell well.

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