By Nathan Grayson on June 30th, 2012 at 10:00 am.

Oh Remedy, how we missed you during those few years when you just stopped and absolutely didn’t make any games on anything ever. Perhaps you traveled to the furthest corners of the world in an attempt to find yourself. Maybe you struggled with a crippling addiction to some illicit substance and became embroiled in an inspirational struggle to reclaim your own life. Maybe I just accidentally reverse-engineered the plot to Max Payne 3. Regardless, we’ll probably never know exactly what you were up to, but – with Alan Wake, Alan Wake’s American Nightmare, and now a remake of top-down sunshine-and-rainbows racer Death Rally – it’s good to have you back. Details and one of the more bizarre announcement trailers I’ve ever seen after the break.
So, er, I, uh… what? Anyway, we’re occasionally a videogame site – you know, in between all the bizarro largely unrelated live action trailers – so let’s talk about those! This version of Death Rally is based on the iOS remake from last year, but Remedy’s claiming it’s been “entirely rebuilt for PC – including incredible graphics and beautiful art shining through its new rendering engine.” So basically, it’s the same 10000000 horsepower, improbably explosive racing action you know, only now your condensed horse army (known in some places as a “car”) looks much prettier than the musty (and freely available) 1996 version.
I’ve heard very good things about Death Rally on iOS, so I have high hopes. And, according to PR, it’s had 110 million play sessions in its lifetime – which seems like something people wouldn’t do if they despised it with every fiber of their being. As such, I eagerly await its August 3rd Steam drop date – though only time will tell if Remedy’s managed to make a $4.99 mobile game worth $9.99. I don’t know, though: is that splitting hairs? I mean, it’s barely even going to tickle your wallet no matter how you slice it, so do you care that much about a $5 price bump?



30/06/2012 at 10:05 Makikou says:
So, as a finn, im buying this. Just because then i can say i own a legit Death Rally on my Steam account.
30/06/2012 at 10:19 Kaira- says:
As a Finn I’ll buy it because I’ve lost the original disks and well, graphical update couldn’t hurt.
30/06/2012 at 11:55 Caesar says:
As a Finn, I hurt graphic updates.
30/06/2012 at 12:01 D-e-f- says:
As a non-Finn, I’ll buy it because they used Netscape Navigator in the trailer and I’m a shallow idiot :D
30/06/2012 at 12:04 Shadowcat says:
As a fin, I frighten swimmers.
30/06/2012 at 13:40 apa says:
As a Finn, I envy the native English speakers skill at puns. They are always so flawlessly finnished.
30/06/2012 at 12:07 Vurogj says:
As a fin, I make fat people jealous.
30/06/2012 at 13:18 LozTaylor says:
As Finn, I go on Adventures!
01/07/2012 at 11:31 RegisteredUser says:
As a Finn and Troll I make atrocious Black Humppa Folk Metal Music in my spare time.
02/07/2012 at 09:03 Zeewolf says:
As a Finn, I’m also buying this, because that’s what Finns do isn’t it?
Wait a second… I’m not a Finn! What is a Finn anyway? Could I be one without knowing? Perkele!
30/06/2012 at 10:21 Srekel says:
Yeah, most games on the ipad marketplace doesn’t really suit me, but I thought Death Rally actually worked quite well and I’ve put quite a few hours into it.
30/06/2012 at 10:24 Henke says:
I didn’t really care for the iPad version, though that’s largely because of the awkward control system. No doubt it’ll be better when played on keyboard/gamepad.
Also I should take this moment to BIGUP to Zombie Driver’s fantastic Death Rally-esque race-mode. Feast your peepers on this shit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S82Kg4padLM
30/06/2012 at 10:39 The Sombrero Kid says:
Didn;t like the F2Pness but the game was fun & looks good.
30/06/2012 at 10:46 Eclipse says:
I got it for a buck on iphone before the free2playbutnotquite madness, it was fun, but the original version played a lot better and was way more challenging, so yeah, we’ll see
30/06/2012 at 11:08 TaroYamada says:
Not worth the price bump, these devs need to quit devaluing their content. 5th Cell made the same mistake with Scribblenauts, who is gonna spend $30 or $40 on the new one when the iOS version, albeit inferior, is 99 cents?
30/06/2012 at 11:54 Njordsk says:
I want micromachine.
Damn that was fun at 8 players with 4 pads.
30/06/2012 at 12:12 Gnoupi says:
Same. Lots of fun had with 4 pads plugged to this weird megadrive cartdridge :P
30/06/2012 at 12:55 The First Door says:
Indeed! A good Micro Machines game would make me so happy. V4 was quite arse.
30/06/2012 at 12:03 Tony M says:
Death Rally looks nice on iPad, but controlling any action game with touch controls is terrible. The game is actually much better suited to console or PC.
30/06/2012 at 12:20 Shadowcat says:
Not that I disagree, but an iControlPad may also solve that problem?
30/06/2012 at 21:02 f1x says:
Maybe, I purchased Death Rally for my iPad but couldnt really get the grasp on the controls, it seemed that the car would always turn on the oposite direction that I wanted
30/06/2012 at 12:58 Kilrathi says:
FINAL LAP, GO FOR IT!
30/06/2012 at 17:49 Skabooga says:
GET READY TO GO!
01/07/2012 at 10:08 Voxel_Music_Man says:
THAT IS ONE HELLOVA PIECE OF MACHINERY!
02/07/2012 at 09:07 Optimaximal says:
HAIL TO THE KING BABY!
30/06/2012 at 13:03 Vorrin says:
Damn, best trailer ever!
30/06/2012 at 14:41 Ushao says:
It’s not just on iOS but on Android, too! I’ve been playing it on my GalNex and have been quite impressed with it. It seems to work well on the smartphone platform. I don’t care for the “pay to unlock sooner” stuff but so far from what I’ve seen you can get everything with persistence. The control scheme isn’t too bad on a phone but I can see how on a tablet it would be irritating.
I can’t wait to see how they translate it onto PC as Death Rally was one of my favorite “quickie” games back in the day. :)
30/06/2012 at 16:31 sinister agent says:
I am always surprised and puzzled by how few “racing with violence” games there are.
30/06/2012 at 17:13 RegisteredUser says:
Agree, Hi-Octane was a milestone in racing enjoyment for me, and literally nothing else ever came close again.
All those stupid slipstream racers that only give you shooting via a one-off powerup or similiar are so lame in comparison.
Death Rally, Hi-Octane, Rock ‘NRoll Racing and Carmageddon are some of the cornerstones of “racing I actually enjoyed” and deserve to be expanded upon.
I think I also briefly glanced at “Have a NICE day”, but as far as I remember, that actually sucked for some reason.
30/06/2012 at 17:54 Skabooga says:
To this day, I think Death Rally is the only racing game I’ve ever been all the way through, mostly because I just blew up all my opponents instead of staying ahead of them. Heck, you even received a monetary bonus for doing this, which I always appreciated and wondered why few other games did this.
01/07/2012 at 01:07 Jay says:
Not sure if it counts as a racer, but Interstate ’76 always did it for me. Shame they had to kill the series stone dead with that 80s sequel, really.
30/06/2012 at 17:14 RegisteredUser says:
.