Fassassin’s Creed

By Alec Meer on July 9th, 2012 at 6:00 pm.

Here is a pattern:

- Action videogame is successful
- Movie rights are optioned by big studio
- Big star and/or director is attached
- ????
- Humdrum movie fails to make as much profit as hoped.

Assassin’s Creed is next to be dragged to the blockbuster movie adaptation stocks, and none other than Michael ‘only good thing about Prometheus’ Fassbender is going to wilfully endanger all his good work of recent years by co-producing and starring in it. RPS has the first exclusive image of the film, which you can see below.

Looking good, Mikey. And he is of course no stranger to wearing semi-pointy hats, thanks to his role as the mysteriously half-German, half-English, half-Irish Magneto in X-Men: First Reboot a little while back.

While there have been talks with Sony’s motion picture arm, Variety and its hilariously pointless missing prepositions style reports that Ubisoft hopes to make the picture somewhat independently in the hope of maintaining creative control. Presumably that means tons of Desmond and silly sci-fi drooling rather than just getting on with a neat historical action flick. (I really enjoy the Assassin’s games, but I would mod out all the present day bits in a second given half a chance).

The news so far doesn’t specify which time period the past stuff will be set in, though I bet movie execs wet themselves at the possibility for infinite sequels as laid down by the game series.

Poor old Michael Fassbender. Quite clearly, he should be James Bond, but instead he’s going to be Jake Gyllenhaal.

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103 Comments »

  1. khaz says:

    …….

    Completely agreed on removing Desmond bits however.

    • jimjam says:

      I agree. The meta game is nothing more than overblown navel gazing and detracts from the cool period games they made.
      It brings the series to the same level as Ninjas vs Zombies http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1290099/
      as case were the sum of the parts is LESSER than the individual pieces!

      • Greggh says:

        Couldn’t agree more.

        This will be the first Assassin’s Creed that I play more than 10 minutes, simply because the others just bummed me out with all that hi-tech sci-fi immersion breaking sequences.

        Only this time the historical background is much more appealing.

      • belgand says:

        I’m apparently alone here because the first game was so astoundingly dull and repeitive that getting new Desmond segments and finding out more about the backstory was basically the only thing that got me through it. Even then it still felt more like work than fun.

        ACII actually improved that significantly by making a story that was fun and interesting rather than relying on the Desmond bits and, y’know, actually having interesting gameplay.

    • frightlever says:

      The Desmond bits would be more entertaining if they were set in a late 80s barber shop.

    • Drinking with Skeletons says:

      The Desmond bits could’ve worked if they hadn’t been tied into a massive meta-plot. If there were no alien artifacts (which are big “fuck yous” to some of the most influential people in history). If the shady corporation was merely a shady corporation and not part of a ridiculous, centuries-spanning conspiracy. If Desmond really had no knowledge of the assassins and, in fact, was slowly going mad from the testing. They could’ve kept all of the super artificial but mechanically great Animus features, could’ve quickly and easily set a game in the present/near future if they wished, but not driven the historical stuff into the ground.

    • RegisteredUser says:

      +1 on removing the idiotic genes / “story” crap

    • Grargh says:

      The funniest thing (for me) is, they could have had the very same game structure without all the mind-boggling sci-fi crap if they had just planted an old assassin next to a campfire telling stories of his great exploits and we jump in whenever it gets interesting. Hell, even confessing in church would work for that and be a way more interesting frame for the story than magical genetics.

    • DK says:

      “(I really enjoy the Assassin’s games, but I would mod out all the present day bits in a second given half a chance).”

      You’re insane. The sci-fi bits are the only interesting thing about Assassins Creed. Without those it’s just a pseudo-historical murder sim that gets every single bit of actual history wrong. With them, it gets them wrong but explains why it gets them wrong.

      Not to mention that murder-in-the-past Assassins Creed without an extra layer is a shallow as a baby pool. There just nothing there.

    • Dilapinated says:

      No love for Desmond’s Journey?

      It actually made me care about a character who previously I’d regarded as “that cardboard twit who gathered collectables and his annoying chums”. It was the best part of Revelations, which imo is the peak of the series. Probably an unpopular opinion there, but not Metroiding past weapons while sensibly and carefully adding new ones, the Ezio/Altair dualism and Desmond’s Journey made it by far the AC game I enjoyed and was invested in the most.

  2. SkittleDiddler says:

    So, it’ll be like X-Men Origins: Wolverine then?

  3. Marinetastic says:

    Hope they include Desmond, just to see if they recast Kristen Bell

  4. SirKicksalot says:

    How are Ubisoft’s in-house short movies?

  5. Jesse L says:

    Any word on the DRM yet? I know everyone in my local theater has an always-on connection throughout every film, but there could be a problem in other theaters not full of assholes.

  6. Bostec says:

    Hey I just watched this guy in Shame. What a film that is. I got to see his wang too. Maybe i’ll get to see his AS..naa.

  7. Mistabashi says:

    Well, at least it isn’t being directed by Uwe Boll.

    • dE says:

      Here’s the scary thing. As far as movie adaptions of games go, his movies had at least some value – if only as pure trash. Something to watch with a couple of buddies while laughing, bitching, moaning and raging about it. That’s actually a quite entertaining pastime.

      • Anders Wrist says:

        I guess hell just froze over, if someone on a gaming site is actually defending Uwe Boll. I have yet to meet a person who could actually sit through one of Boll’s movies.

        • hemmer says:

          His movie adaption of Postal was quite alright actually, but that’s only because the game itself was trashy and offensive, so Boll naturally gut that right.

        • CrookedLittleVein says:

          “I guess hell just froze over, if someone on a gaming site is actually defending Uwe Boll. I have yet to meet a person who could actually sit through one of Boll’s movies.”

          Are you kidding? He’s the only genius in the whole fucking business.

  8. reggiep says:

    Of course this story is making the rounds, but only RPS hits you with that headline. Brilliant.

  9. Ninja Foodstuff says:

    I literally just booted up Splinter Cell CT for the first time today. In the extras section, there’s a “movie teaser”. Funnily enough there’s absolutely no footage or cast/crew on it.

    Hmmmm.

  10. zaik says:

    Eh, desmond might not be a great(or good, or particularly decent, or even okay) character, but he is very underrated as a storytelling device.

    Tell me you didn’t get chills when this happened at the end of AC 2:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9R8wwYAJF0

    When she’s talking and starting to look away from Ezio and directly at the camera and you’re like “is it just being dramatic or…” and then he keeps butting in and she blows him off entirely and looks directly at you.

    Haven’t bothered to play any other AC games, mostly because they’re on handhelds as far as I know, but if they kept doing creepy stuff like that i don’t see how anyone could say Desmond isn’t at least useful to trying to create something that hasn’t already been done a fuckton bazillion times.

    • Knightley4 says:

      What confusing me here, Desmond is Ezio at this moment, because it’s Ezio’s memory. Why the hell that chick looking behind his shoulder?)

      • dee says:

        Because he’s viewing it through the animus, like us.

        • Claidheamh says:

          Unless he also sees himself “in real life” in a similar perspective, that makes little sense. :P

        • gwathdring says:

          Yes, I always got the impression that the animus was effectively the ultimate virtual reality–hence the weird spine-shaped part of it. As in, I would have expected Desmond to see everything in first person.

          Of all the crazy weird stuff in Assassin’s creed … a third person virtual reality machine that lets you access your ancestor’s genetic third person memories would top out my list as the wonkiest and least logical.

  11. TheApologist says:

    Prometheus was pretty crap.

    Fassbender was great, as was some of the visual design. But they couldn’t save it.

    • Stephen Roberts says:

      Enjoyably, the Sight and Sight three page write up on Prometheus pretty much boils down to this. And I knew you were linking to Prince of Persia with the Jake Gyllenhaal nod. Blargrh.

    • lurkalisk says:

      I’ve never heard any reasonable explanation about why Prometheus is anything less than decent, personally. It seems really just to be the opinion everyone settled on before ever actually seeing it (as the majority seem wont to do), and the movie conveniently had some rough patches (easily taken for anyone who was actually willing to try and suspend disbelief) for those people to reference.

      …so now it’s the worst thing ever. Until people forget, and remember that Dredd has a brit speaking all americun-like, and thus dub it the new worst movie ever. And so on…

      • Solanaceae says:

        Prometheus is indeed terribad. The writing is beyond atrocious. It was well beyond “rough patches”.

        Even completely ignoring all the nonsensical stuff and plotholes and lack of resolution the dialogue and writing is just plain terrible.

  12. misterT0AST says:

    There was already a canadian adaptation, “Assassin’s creed Lineage”, of Ezio’s story, it wasn’t THAT bad.
    It was visually nice, if anything.

    • Icarus says:

      I’m pretty sure that was actually produced by Ubi themselves as a marketing-based prequel to AC2. It was actually pretty good.

  13. Chmilz says:

    Here’s what millions will do: see this movie, be totally disappointed.
    Here’s what I’ll do: stay home and play video games while laughing at idiots that continually fall for the epic disasters delivered by the movie-adaptation-of-video-games industry.

    • alundra says:

      It’s one of the oldest rules in gaming tra la la land, movies based on video games are *awful*.

    • max_1111 says:

      Despite that it was universally panned, I thought the Hitman movie was pretty damn good.
      Granted i never played any of the games so i don’t know how closely the movie plot followed the video game’s (i suspect, however, that it did not come anywhere near them).
      Perhaps that’s why i liked it?

      • Dilapinated says:

        From what I hear, it wasn’t the plot so much as the gameplay that got utterly forgotten.

        A game in which all the pleasure and repute came from carefully planning and executing meticulous, beautifully timed assassinations (and/or chaotic-spiral failed attempts), being turned into a run-and-gun flick.

  14. QualityJeverage says:

    Loved Prometheus! Just wanted to get that out there.

    Continue shitting on it now.

    • TheApologist says:

      Will do! ;)

    • Revisor says:

      Remind me not to follow your movie recommendations in the future! :)

      Nah, just kidding. Nothing personal.
      The movie was shit. One of the few I ever walked out of early and read the ending on Wikipedia.

      • lurkalisk says:

        I’d hate to know what, exactly, you were expecting beforehand if you were so woefully disappointed in it as to walk out.

    • Vandelay says:

      Not going to say I loved Prometheus, but, as ever with anything hyped, the Internet hate is far too over blown. It may have had a muddled plot that needed a bit of a re-write, but it looked stunning, had some fantastically tense moments and the acting was pretty good all round (with Fassbender continuing to be excellent in everything.)

      Even if you did not enjoy it, surely everyone could at least agree it is not the worst thing the Alien franchise produced.

      • wodin says:

        Watching it you could tell that an awful lot had hit the editing floor. Infact it was pretty obvious where the jumps in the story where. I really expect a directors cut that will actually show the film off as a pretty decent flick.

        • Subject 706 says:

          No directors cut in the world can save that script from its idiot protagonists…

          • Brun says:

            This, really. People are hating on the movie because the crew demonstrates an unrealistic lack of caution that borders on stupidity – the biggest issue being the complete lack of biological containment protocols, falling below even the precautions taken by Apollo astronauts when they traveled to the Moon (which was known with almost complete certainty to be dead and lifeless!).

          • Dilapinated says:

            Brun: Rewatch the original Alien. The Biological Containment protocols are either a) unfollowed by the crew or b) woefully inept.

            Not that I’m defending Prometheus. But that’s not a new thing for the franchise. Maybe it should’ve changed with audience expectations, though.

        • wyrmsine says:

          “Director’s Cut” has quickly become exploitative DLC for the film industry.

    • Maldomel says:

      I’m with you on that. I really like Prometheus, and I didn’t think so much people were hating it.
      That’s what I get for not giving a damn about the Internet’s opinion.

    • felisc says:

      oh I enjoyed prometheus too. picture and sound were great.

    • YourMessageHere says:

      I liked Prometheus too. Not the best thing I’ve seen and, like many recent Ridley Scott films, the script was the worst thing about it, and I thought it spent far too much energy and cleverness on manufacturing links to Alien, but it was tense as hell and visually brilliant. The surgery pod bit is probably the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen in a cinema.

  15. lowprices says:

    A review of Team Fortress 2 and a crappy photoshop of Michael Fassbender? When did it become April 1st, and how did I not notice 9 months passing? I mean, it seems like I should have noticed that.

  16. Jimbo says:

    It’s certainly a better premise for a movie than most games. It’s genius as far as premise for a video game franchise goes (though, they are guilty of not using it to its full potential – Revelations was a game too far for that period and I don’t think it progressed the main storyline one bit).

    • SominiTheCommenter says:

      This. It solves every single plot hole that could happen in the past, and it’s the best excuse for having a variety of settings and protagonists with the same continuing storyline. AssRev as with Bortherhood was just an expansion pack.

    • Resonance says:

      Revelations did a good job of ending the stories of Ezio and Altiar.

    • Deano2099 says:

      Yup, the animus/Desmond concept is bloody genius, it justifies in a stroke all the videogame tropes that find themselves in the game, while also providing a clever commentary on the nature of gaming. On top of that they use it to add extra puzzle elements and other mechanics to the game world.

      Were we living in a world where there were tons of historical actions games, when games sent in 15th Century Italy were as common as those in World War 2, the Assassin’s Creed series would be praised to the nines for ‘trying something different’ and ‘adding a clever twist to a stale setting’.

      But there aren’t, so instead Ubisoft get criticised for making the game they want to make because it’s almost like another game someone wants to play. Perhaps those people who moan about the Animus ‘ruining’ the games would be better served asking other games companies to make more historical action games in interesting settings rather than asking a game that does something clever to be a bit more conventional.

  17. Shralla says:

    Prometheus hating? Oh man the best science fiction movie since District 9 was such a disappointment. Kinda funny how the ratings were better before it came out in the US. Americans are forgetting what makes good literature.

  18. Ateius says:

    “I really enjoy the Assassin’s games, but I would mod out all the present day bits in a second given half a chance”

    A thousand times, this. I cannot comprehend who thought it was a good idea to keep dragging us out of the action-packed, atmospheric historical scenes starring someone whose goals and motivations we care about (heck, someone who HAS goals and motivations) just to make us sit through some blather with the most boring man in the world in what are basically extremely long, unskippable cutscenes.

    Also there’s going to be a movie, I guess. It’s a game adaptation so I haven’t got high hopes.

  19. Spinks says:

    1. Well, it’s pretty much got to be better than Prometheus.

    2. Wonder if he’ll take his kit off … (don’t judge me :) )

  20. roryok says:

    You’re right about the Bond thing Alec. He’d be great. Might happen yet.

    • YourMessageHere says:

      Daniel Craig is sufficient until they can get Clive Owen. Fassbender seems decent, but I can’t say I’ve yet formed any sort of impression of him. I definitely don’t see him as Bond, though, based on his performances in X-Men: First Class and Prometheus.

  21. Mr. Mister says:

    Any news on “Just Cause: Scorpion Rising”?

  22. Lewie Procter says:

    We already have the only Assassin’s Creed film we need:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4G8Wo6UCx4

  23. bdd458 says:

    I don’t understand why people enjoy the Desmond bits AND WANT AN ENTIRE GAME MADE OUT OF THEM. It’s terrible, pulls some switches, lay down on the animus and do other boring things. I like Assassin’s Creed so I can run around historical places doing unhistorical things.

  24. Saiko Kila says:

    I’d prefer Desmond over Enzio. That Italian guy is one of the most annoying PC character I know. I think I enjoy playing as these two pricks from Kane and Lynch more. Altair on the other hand is pretty cool, but somehow I suppose they won’t use him.

  25. The Dark One says:

    To be fair to Jake Gyllenhaal, he got to do the time gimmick thing properly in Source Code.

  26. tlarn says:

    The real questions I have are: any word on the sequel-teaser-at-the-end-of-the-credits DLC, and how long until this Assassin’s Creed becomes available on PC?

  27. Sea-Bear says:

    So… is anyone keeping a count on how many times they’ve white washed the main character of a video game series when they create the film version? I mean, if they’re gonna make a shit film, would it hurt to have an actor who actually looks like the main character?

    • MSJ says:

      White-washed? Do we even know who Fassbender will be playing, if not Desmond? “Iconic character” could mean Desmond, Altair or Ezio.

  28. Jake says:

    I like thesp. Plot interesting. Pic might be good.

  29. Ebon Hawk says:

    You know, I come here to read commentary about video games not movies. I find your (the site) general remarks about the state of the gaming industry quite accurate. I actually promote your site as a very good insight into the market of video games.

    But I find it disappointing that you are now taking pot shots at Prometheus… a flawed but still good movie. Or worst yet, running stories about upcoming possible movies with silly pictures attached to it (I though it was what IMDB did and it is why they deserve condemnation for it).

    Can you please stick with your core business and with what you are good at…

    • max_1111 says:

      It’s a movie… based on a video game…
      How is this massively out of place?

    • Alec Meer says:

      Oh, go and read Edge or something and we can all be much happier.

    • Ian says:

      Do you have a blog? If so I’d like to come to it and tell you what to write about.

    • f1x says:

      I have to agree with the first comment to some degree

      to the degree that this is a pointless way of presenting “news”,
      its pretty clear that it was aimed to get a “hurrah we are so alternative, lets hate everything together” shout from the crowd

      • Alec Meer says:

        No, it was ‘writing what I myself think/entertaining myself on my own blog.’ Never ceases to amaze me how people manage to see A Reason for everything.

        • f1x says:

          Thats okey,
          its your blog you can post your thoughts, of course

          I’m doing just the same, exposing my thoughts of disagreement with what I consider a call to “hate” a movie project that has barely started

          • Ian says:

            Yeah but the original comment wasn’t saying, “Oi, I think Prometheus was great.” It was “I don’t come here to read about movies! Stop it! Bwaggghhhh!”

  30. RegisteredUser says:

    Wasn’t there this lengthy rendered movie around the game, too?

    It felt like we had a small trend of animated/CGI movies for games for a small while(Dead Space, Dante’s Inferno, others), parallel to the whole “Make it a real movie” like AITD, Bloodrayne, Postal, Wing Commander etc.

  31. pcgamerpro says:

    http://pcgamerpro.com/gameplay-2/assassins-creed-3-boston-gameplay-walkthrough/
    assassin creed 3 boston gameplay is out and it looks great

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