I Wanna Be The Guy: Gaiden Absolutely Hates You

By Nathan Grayson on July 17th, 2012 at 3:00 pm.

I Wanna Be The Guy: Gaiden killed me with a fish before I started the first level. It killed me again when I tried to start the first level. It killed me again before I touched solid ground in the first level. It killed me again with a sudden burst of fire when I tried to hop over a barrel in the first level. It killed me again when I tried to walk under a platform in the first level. It killed me again when I finally managed to leap on top of that platform. It killed me again when I tried to leap over a barrel – with the same fish as the time before I started the first level. That goddamn fish. It killed me again when I finally made it past the fish, only to be crushed by a platform mere centimeters away. It killed me again when I tried to leap between the platform and the fish. It killed me again when I made it past that part and a purple army man shot me. Then I gave up forever.

I Wanna Be The Guy: Gaiden is, of course, a pseudo-sequel to comically difficult Internet sensation I Wanna Be The Guy. So basically, it’s a platformer that takes sprites from your most fondly remembered games of yore and then mercilessly – and you may not have seen this one coming – kills you with them. At any given moment, anything in the world can and will defy physics, logic, and any other forces that might keep the universe in balance for the sole purpose of doing you grievous bodily harm. My headline was not hyperbole: this game hates you.

For most, then, it’s a novelty. Joy comes not from success (because hahahahaha, you think that’s actually possible), but from giggling at the fact that something so absurdly unfair can even exist. I know of people who’ve devoted countless blood, sweat, and tear-stained hours to conquering this series’ gleefully masochistic gauntlet of trial-and-error, but they also eat hardware stores for breakfast, play barefoot hopscotch on rows of shattered glass, and use Bing instead of Google. Bing! They are clearly not altogether there in the head.

Also, a quick word of warning: Gaiden’s still pretty glitchy. The restart key (which will quickly become your best friend) stopped working entirely for me a couple times, so I had to reboot the whole game. Honestly, though, that’s pretty much in line with I Wanna Be The Guy’s general “thwart players at every conceivable turn” philosophy, so maybe it was… intentional?

Oh, try setting a save file to easy mode. It’s quite the thing.

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46 Comments »

  1. GlobalFrequency says:

    If you can’t handle the pain on your own you might be amused by watching someone else suffer. They debuted this at EVO this year and Floe fought through the game for our amusement.

    http://www.twitch.tv/srkevo1/b/323841904

    • Droopy The Dog says:

      Fighter scene videos make me cringe so hard…

      • Kdansky says:

        I love the games. I hate their behaviour. Too much misogyny and insulting and the commentators often take sides. If you watch Day9 or Artosis, and then switch to MarlinPie, you go straight from in-depth sports commentary to school-yard fight. It’s embarrassing for the viewer.

        On a positive note, Maximillian_dood (Miles923 on youtube) is essentially Day9 for fighting games, except he can also make movies. Really awesome.

    • pakoito says:

      J-J-J-JWong!

    • MadMatty says:

      yeah exactly my first thought- big up to the RPS Hivemind….

      skip like the first 14 mins (!) of waffle and it gets going, i LOL´ed! :D

  2. Mhyre says:

    The fun with this game is watching other people playing it (and rage over it). I’m thinking of TotalBiscuit’s video, which made me pee my pants.

    • Belsameth says:

      Ooh! I have to see this, especially since TB is notoriously crap at most games he WTFs

      ROFL!: http://youtu.be/xY6TrLsN6qM (The WTF is…)

      • Ninja Foodstuff says:

        Notoriously crap? One of the things that always impresses me about his videos is how effortless he makes them look.

        But I suppose the average gamer is always better than all the other average gamers.

        • Baines says:

          TB is really bad in his videos. He misses a lot of obvious stuff, whether it be an onscreen item, solving a puzzle, or catching onto a game mechanic.

          For example, he completely missed the rather visible glowing sniper rifle next to the bridge in Duke Nukem Forever, while complaining that the game didn’t give him a long range weapon to shoot the guys on the other side of the bridge. In some dwarf game, he made a point about lava being bad, then missed a lava warning for a while, then flubbed a panic response to deal with it. In one of the starfighter games, I believe he attacked his own ship. In the Sideways video, he didn’t grasp how his orientation affected how he interacted with stuff. The Dungeonland video seemingly had none of the players paying enough attention to figure out mechanics like the life system.

          TB videos are pretty good for viewing gameplay and concerns, but they also tend to have headbanging moments where you just want to magically tell him through the screen what he’s missing.

          (Edit: I should say that everyone has such moments where they miss the obvious. I’m not trying to pick on TB, and certainly not trying to say that I’ve never missed something obvious.)

          • Calabi says:

            I think that happens with every play through videos, of anyone that I’ve seen. I think maybe its because they are focused on talking on or entertaining that they miss the blatantly obvious.

          • Wut The Melon says:

            TB’s WTF’s at least have the pretension to be more than regular let’s plays with commentary, and he is generally speaking better informed and actually has something to say about the games he plays… but sometimes he really is just messing about, getting views just because of his voice. Then again, for this game that really isn’t a problem.

          • Apples says:

            “In some dwarf game, he made a point about lava being bad, then missed a lava warning for a while, then flubbed a panic response to deal with it.” Are you telling me I’ve been playing DF wrong this whole time!?

        • Calneon says:

          Man you must be really bad at games to think TB is any good :P.

          • Ninja Foodstuff says:

            How do you define “good at games” though? Is it being able to get perfect scores on every level? Spotting every secret? Completing on hardest difficulty settings? What about being “good” at certain games and not others?

            It seems to me that all you have to do to come across as being “good at games” is bitching about how lame the AI is, how easy inferno level is in Diablo, etc.

            I’ve watched videos where TB breezes through a level of an FPS, whilst talking constantly, that I’ve had a hard time completing in one sitting. I’ve also seen him do puzzle-type games where I’ve yelled the solution at the screen, but then he’ll spot it and complain that he’s crap at puzzle games which is fair enough

          • Biscuitry says:

            Being good at a game is ultimately subjective. The main thing is have fun playing and, above all, never, ever, ever post it on YouTube.

          • Kdansky says:

            Being good at a game is nothing subjective at all! In Tetris, you are good if you make a lot of lines. In Mario, you are good if you get to the exit quick and without dying. You can still have fun while being bad, but that’s not the point of “skill” at all.

            Seriously, those young people nowadays.

            And yes, TB is really bad. Note that skill falls on a bell-curve. I’d say he’s somewhere in the middle, which puts him below most other video-makers, but still above half his viewers.

          • jrodman says:

            So median is bad. Right.

          • MadMatty says:

            Median is bad for RPS…..

            “Youre not in Kansas anymore” :P

    • caddyB says:

      I’m not watching TB’s videos to see him pwn faces as it were, I’m watching them to get entertained, and he does it so well that I also sub to his twitch.tv thing when I can afford to.

      Blasted student loans and all.

    • RegisteredUser says:

      TBs video for this game is better than an actually intended, scripted sketch on it.

      It really, really is in a comedic class of its own, and if I didn’t know better, I swear the guy is doing it on purpose.

      I love it. You have to show people.

  3. Totally heterosexual says:

    Fuck you: the game

  4. origo says:

    This game sorta debuted in EVO 2012, when some fella with nick ‘Floe’ played evo version of this game on live stream (youtube link -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixgagswag8M). It was fun, especially because for that special occasion game had direct connection between developer and player, so developer could ‘help’ the player if he got into a troublesome situation by… sending a plane or Sonic to kill him, or do some other random stuff. It’s a fun watch.
    But damn, that game is hard.

    • SurfinNoodles says:

      Floe’s playing of IWBTG (along with a fistful of other pseudo-sequels and knockoffs, most notably I Wanna Be the Boshy) has become something of a phenomenon within the fighting game community to the point where he is better known and loved for his struggles with the Guy than he is for playing fighting games. So much so that the developers of both IWBTG and Boshy have become personal acquaintances of his, have built in multiple references to him within the games, and will often assist him during his streams. If anybody is interested, the youtube user sonicboom510 regularly compiles videos of highlights from Floe’s streams: http://www.youtube.com/user/sonicboom510

  5. Soapeh says:

    Fun Fact: Bing’s most popular search term is ‘Google’.

    • Milky1985 says:

      Fun Fact : 63% of statistics are made up on the spot!

    • Nick says:

      any time I’m faced with bing, thats exactly what I type just for the mild amusement it gives me.

    • Baines says:

      Should it be a surprise? Particularly considering Microsoft was caught copying Google’s search results to use for Bing (and actually attacked Google for the way that they were caught)…

    • Phantoon says:

      I could understand everything else, even beating this game on the hardest mode, but using Bing? Seriously?

      I don’t think those people exist.

      • MadMatty says:

        that would be me… i clicked a little too fast thru the install process of some other Software, and i got this crappy Bing bar on my Firefox, or was it Chrome?…. couldnt find a way to uninstall it at first (the first sign something dodgy is up), and so i probably left it a few months, untill i found a freeware non-microsoft uninstaller.

    • Jac says:

      fun fact: I’ve got a windows phone and 63 out of every 100 Bing searches i make are the word “google”

  6. mbr says:

    I Wanna be the Gaiden.

  7. deadly.by.design says:

    This doesn’t even look fun.

  8. El Stevo says:

    1-1 Complete. 40 minutes and 262 deaths so far.

    • sirdavies says:

      How did you go through the part where you have to jump through three moving spike balls?

      • El Stevo says:

        I just kept doing it again and again until I got lucky with the timing. It’s easier if you jump from the second-lowest platform rather than the lowest.

        I’ve since found out that you can do a charged shot and kill the guy who releases the moving spike balls and then destroy the balls, which would have made things a lot easier.

  9. Delicious Narwhal says:

    Has anyone figured out how to get past the Zangief bit in 1-2? Been stuck there for like an hour.

    • Baines says:

      I watched the Floe EVO feed. Assuming it is the same as that build, when he comes down, you ceiling grappling jump over him. If Chun Li does her Spinning Bird Kick reversal, then you waited too long.

  10. Daywalker says:

    hey folks , anybody have any idea WTF is that cloud doing there … i came to the very end of first stage and suddenly stupid cloud kept appearing and tossing around barrels >.<
    whole game became unplayable … not just for me , but for everyone … it keep spawning whenever you retry … here is link where you can see it :