The Star Wars 1313 Trailer Is Every Trailer Ever

By Craig Pearson on August 14th, 2012 at 8:00 pm.

BRAAAANGGGG!
It has jump zooms, the Inception noise, a squeaky pulsing noise to denote horror and excitement, then an uncomfortably long sequence where nothing is on screen. Welcome to the trailer to end all trailers, a new look at the gritty shooter Star Wars 1313 that just strutted out of Trailer University waving a degree over its head. It’s keen to show you all the trailery tricks it learned in as short a space of time as possible. All it’s really missing is a voice over from That Guy and it’d be complete.

Despite burying the series at every opportunity (because I’m jaded and tired of giving it one more chance every time), I do still want a good Star Wars shooter, and this at least seems divorced from the recent piles of pap that have masqueraded as Jedi Masters. It has some Pew to it. But there are a lot of corridors and ‘interactive’ sequences that makes me wonder if the unholy shadow that Uncharted is casting is too deep and black and sticky for anything to escape. It’s even caught the game’s website in its depths: it appears to have an intro, but no content.

It currently has no release date, but I’d expect it to land in a year with ’13′ in it, and that the marketing people at LucasArts will be high-fiving all over at their calendarial luck.

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107 Comments »

  1. IshtarGate says:

    It’s coming out 13.13.13.

  2. woodsey says:

    It makes me weep that this is straight-up linear, cover-based shooting. Especially now that Prey 2′s gone bloody AWOL.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      I see nothing wrong with that. They are obviously going for the Uncharted approach. Uncharted gameplay in a gritty Star Wars setting with shiny graphics? What’s wrong with that.

      I don’t know when “linear” became a dirty word, but last time I checked many (most in fact) of my favourite games of all time are linear. Nothing wrong with that as long as you pull it off well.

      • Vorphalack says:

        There’s nothing conceptually wrong with linear cover shooters, but a lot of people don’t like them. Personally I find it makes repetitive and clumsy game play. No matter how good the narrative for this game might be I probably wont bother with it.

      • UmmonTL says:

        I would agree, there is a good kind of linear and a bad kind of linear. Then again if it ends up as a CoD in space i can certainly live without it.

      • woodsey says:

        There’s nothing inherently wrong with being linear, but when your game is about a bounty hunter on a planet that’s one big city, it reeks of laziness and/or a lack of ambition. Does this concept really sound more interesting to you than Prey 2′s?

        Games used to be able to do linear well, they used to be cautious with scripting and they used to be good at presenting wide (or at least the illusion of wide) levels. Nowadays, not so much.

        I enjoy Uncharted very much, but Lucas Arts haven’t exactly proven themselves to be particularly good developers in, I dunno, forever.

        • UmmonTL says:

          I wouldn’t say that games have gotten that much worse with their linearity, it’s more that the awareness of the gamers has changed over the years. Old games were linear as hell with only the secret rooms as any kind of optional objective or path. Nowadays you can make such pretty and detailed environments that even a linear path might seem large and open. But gamers are much more aware of the tricks used to accomplish this, they know that it can be done better. And last but not least if you set your game in a huge futuristic city you won’t get away with a fence or rubble blocking every street you’re not supposed to go in. If a level is linear it must make sense to the player because the moment he tries to go the “wrong” direction but can’t his immersion is shattered.

  3. Discopanda says:

    It’s actually the late Great Don Lafontaine. No wait, actually, it’s the retired, though still alive Hal Douglas… but, uh, they’re calling him Jack in the trailer. Well this 6 year old trailer for an unrelated film really has me flummoxed! Is this some kind of new Valve ARG, Craig? HAVE THEY BEEN PLANNING IT FOR THIS LONG?

  4. SirKicksalot says:

    So why is it called Inception sound/horn when two Transformers movies and District 9 used it before?
    I’m sure there are many other movies before those too. What made Inception stick?

    • woodsey says:

      At a guess, because the Transformers films are absolute shit and Inception was much more popular than District 9.

      Also, Fun Fact: Inception’s horn (hehe) is actually the song they use for their kicks (‘Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien’) slowed down lots and lots.

    • Aemony says:

      Because they differ in how they used the sound. In Inception, it was an integral sound of the movie and, as Urban Dictionary puts it: “often repeated multiple times for maximum results of ‘Inceptionation’.” While Inception might not have been the first, it was the first movie to use it in a memorial and ‘cool’ fashion.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      The horn has been around for thirty years, but NOBODY did it the way it was done in Inception and now people are a lot more aware of it.

      @woodsey – that’s not true. The Inception horn is a brass instrument fanfanfare, not the song slowed down, it merely was made to resemble it.

      • woodsey says:

        Alright, well then it’s the song slowed down and someone playing the exact same noise separately for clarity. Same difference.

  5. McTerry says:

    Looking forward to it! :D

  6. Knightley4 says:

    I want a jedi-based game!
    - suddenly *FORCE UNLEASHED* -
    …Crap, well, i hope that one is better. Yet, it does not feel like star wars at all.

  7. Unaco says:

    Level 13 13? That’s just going to be doubly unlucky. Not very superstitious these Star to War’ers.

  8. rawrty says:

    Is uncharted a PC game? Clicking on the link takes me to what looks like a console game that I’ve never heard of before. I’m curious cause I’m really not sure what I”m supposed to take away from this….

    • Daryl says:

      Yes, Uncharted is developed by Naughty Dog and it’s a Sony-exclusive franchise.

      • rawrty says:

        Oh ok, that explains why it’s completely off my radar. I’m just trying to understand the reference because it doesn’t seem to be part of the Star Wars franchise.

        Is it extremely popular in console world? Similar gameplay or trailer perhaps?

        • Flint says:

          You’ve genuinely not heard of Uncharted? They’re huge blockbuster successes, to the point that I’m surprised they’ve gone completely past you even if you’ve not got a console.

          Cinematic (in a good way) 3rd person action games. Excellent ones, as well. What little glimpses we’ve seen of 1313 it looks like it’s pretty much Uncharted in Space gameplay-wise.

          • Fierce says:

            I literally watched the trailer and immediately Ctrl-F’ed for “uncharted in space” thereafter.

            Thank you.

          • Cinek says:

            I haven’t heard about it either. But looking at the trailer? It’s nothing interesting. Just yet another linear, scripted action game.

        • FriendlyFire says:

          Uncharted is Tomb Raider without the sexism meets Indiana Jones without crummy old Fords, made 10x better. Lavish graphics, excellent gameplay, and perhaps the best voice cast/mo cap in history (bar LA Noire’s faces, but only the faces).

        • Xardas Kane says:

          It’s basically the best linear action-adventure game out there and entwines story, gameplay and cinematics in a way that makes you feel like you are playing an Indiana Jones movie without ever actually taking away the control from you long enough to make you grumpy. It was written and directed by Amy Henig, the mastermind behind Legacy of Kain, and it shows.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN3rj6YemkI
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUPAyGWKd6c

          I am a die-hard PC gamer. I literally bought a PS3 just for this franchise, Heavy Rain and the Souls games were just a bonus.

    • Obc says:

      here you go: all 3 games cut down as movies. this “making a movie out of a game” idea really works with these title because the games are REALLY cinematic (great MoCap and Voice Casting). the new game “the last of us” by the same developers seems to be going the same route.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfAkg0s7_iA

      the 2nd game is the best story wise and thus makes the best “movie”. start with that.

  9. Brun says:

    Ugh, can’t we just get Jedi Knight 3? And no shitty knockoff characters – Kyle Katarn or GTFO.

  10. Text_Fish says:

    R.I.P John Williams?

    Silly trailer aside, if they can recapture some of the level design magic of Dark Forces I’ll write them a cheque for £24.99 RIGHT NOW. If that’s not an extravagant show of faith, I don’t know what is.

  11. Bork Titflopsen says:

    Que ‘That Guy’ voice: “In a galaxy, far far away!”

    HOW DID THEY MISS THAT?

  12. Dowr says:

    Can we please get a new Jedi Knight game instead of an Uncharted rip-off?

  13. Moni says:

    I’d like to gloat again that when the first Prometheus trailer popped up I said, “Steadily rising klaxon will be this year’s BROAM.”

  14. jimangi says:

    Come on, Craig! I’ve read PC Gamer, you’re supposed to be a shooter buff. You say you’re still waiting for a ‘good Star Wars shooter’, have you forgotten the brilliant Republic Commando? It was like Call of Duty in space! I have fond memories of watching my laser windscreen-wiper clean the Geonosian blood from my visor.

    • Brun says:

      It’s more like Rainbow Six in space, as it was highly squad-focused. Not only did Republic Commando allow you to control your squad (and did so in a quite intuitive fashion), it also emphasized using your squad to complete objectives.

      It was a great game, though, and it’s a shame that they aren’t continuing with that type of game.

    • Koozer says:

      I bought Republic Commando in the Steam sale after all the goods things I keep hearing about it. I’m sorry to say I was a little disappointed. It’s really linear, and the squad commanding stuff doesn’t seem to have any real thought required; just press F on whatever flashes in front of you. The guns aren’t too fun either. Except the grenade launcher thing, but I’m a sucker for arcing projectiles. Still, it’s perfectly enjoyable and I need to get back to it. But first, KOTOR II to finish!

      EDIT: if they’re all clones bred on one planet, why do they all have different voices, accents and personalities? Besides gameplay and narrative considerations I mean.

      • Brun says:

        Each one got different specialization training pretty much from day 1 – trying to remember what they were, I think there was a demo/explosives/slicing/tech expert, a generalist (the exact words were “pure, uncomplicated soldier”), and a sniper/hunter/antipersonnel guy. So their experiences growing up were different, and those differences are reflected in their personalities. Even identical twins can grow up to be very different from one another in pretty much every way except appearance.

  15. Morlock says:

    While the sound meets all the current clichés it is a little interesting to see a Star Wars trailer without the classic Star Wars music. I am certain some fan will upload a John Williams version soon.

  16. Revisor says:

    The Star Wars are dead to me. Milked dry, overused, abused, raped into the oblivion of irrelevancy.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      You sure you actually watched the trailer? It’s as far as a game can get from the typical SW fare. Whether it succeeds is another story, but you can’t say they aren’t at least trying to do something new with the IP. And the more games copy Uncharted, the better.

      • Betamax says:

        Yep, I can understand some scepticism given how TFU went down, but the claims this is just milking the franchise are pretty silly. It’s actually much more like LA stubbornly refuse to milk the franchise.

        I agree about copying Uncharted not being a bad thing here, it’s certainly a fairly linear style of game but for what it is it works very well. And I gather from the Darksiders 2 Wot I Think that taking ideas from other games can work pretty well, that game certainly seems popular enough.

  17. ghazbanbodarr says:

    Uncharted: Luke’s Deception

  18. Obc says:

    1. nothing new in the trailer. already seen most of it on E3.

    2. how come there is no Battlefront, Jedi Knight, KOTOR, Republic Commando? I am not whining per se, just asking honestly, why don’t they make these games anymore? didn’t they all sell well? is there some problems with who owns rights to what game? some other publisher/developer legalise?

    i mean yeah, uncharted is cool and all, and please go ahead and make a star warsy uncharted clone, if it makes a lot of money (which it probably will) by all means continue, but why leave out all the other established popular stuff?

    • woodsey says:

      Because whilst other publishers are intent on bleeding you dry to the extent that we’re all walking £ signs to them, it’s only Lucas Arts who are demonstrably, clinically insane.

  19. int says:

    There were 1313 separate shots in that trailer.

  20. TimEatsApples says:

    I don’t recognise Star Wars in this. If there wasn’t that one reference to it being set on Coruscant (and I couldn’t read), I wouldn’t know this was a Star Wars game. And not just because of the lack of lightsabres and the usual theme – the whole tone is different.

    Not saying that’s a bad thing, necessarily. Just interesting.

    • Tei says:

      Imagine people fighting with laser pistols in a trash compressors area. Do this fit with your idea of star wars?

      • TimEatsApples says:

        No? Not in and of itself. I’m not sure what your point is, sorry.

        • Cinek says:

          Ever bothered with anything else then watching the movies?
          Nope?
          I thought so.

          • TimEatsApples says:

            Yup. I’ve played many of the games – both KOTORs (but not the MMO), the Jedi Knight series (and Dark Forces), Galaxies and TIE Fighter. I’ve read a couple books, but they were pretty awful. And I’ve seen the Clone Wars series. Oh, and I’ve seen about half of the Holiday Special. All of those were tonally similar experiences that I could readily identify as “Star Wars”. This doesn’t fit with that tone – as others have said, it reminds me of Mass Effect as much as anything. Again, not saying that’s a bad thing per se, just an interesting decision, and one that doesn’t much interest me personally.
            Meanwhile, I still don’t get the trash compressors reference. You could help me out, if you like. Or you could make another snarky comment. Your choice.

  21. TheIronSky says:

    That was one of the worst trailers ever. Just shows the same scene recut in different perspectives.
    That showed us next to nothing of the actual game.

    • Toberoth says:

      Yup. For a “gameplay” trailer it was next to useless for conveying the experience of what it’s like to, you know, play the game.

    • neolith says:

      My thoughts exactly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a trailer less appealing…

    • Xardas Kane says:

      But! But! Shiny graphics!

      I did very much like the look of the actual 1313 level. Very gritty and awesome looking. The rest though – meh.

  22. buzzmong says:

    That was a gameplay trailer?

    Fuck me if I only saw about 5 to 10 seconds of actual gameplay in a video that was a 94 seconds long, the rest being either set pieces, cinematics or logos.

    If you would have told me that was the intro upon starting the game, I would have believed you, but a gameplay trailer? Nah.

  23. Doth Messar says:

    I am a naysayer through and through but I’m actually looking forward to this. No jedi in sight, it deals, seemingly, with Coruscant’s underclass, and it has nothing to do with the new KOTOR universe that was dead to me once it became an MMO which tried to make me share my KOTOR experience with friends. (My Star Wars/KOTOR story is my own, not to be shared with others.)

    I have to say I’m a bit optimistic about this, and that is quite a feat considering what I said in the beginning of my post. I want to hate this, but it has so many possibilities.

  24. PC-GAMER-4LIFE says:

    Lucasarts CEO resigned recently & this games technical director also resigned. Not sure if the 2 are connected but where does that leave this game which uses the latest UT3 engine & ILM are providing assistance as well to the developers. Not sure why this story did not mention that either its common knowledge!

    This game is obviously a PC title as Nvidia are also working behind the scenes on it so expect it to come to PC’s first then next gen consoles later unless they delay to launch on all 3 platforms at once (quiet likely but perhaps the next Lucasrts CEO will be pro-PC not anti!)

  25. Bobsy says:

    It should be a massive warning sign when practically all assets released for an upcoming game show the SAME sequence over and over.

    Yes. The ship gets all blowed up on the way down. We know that. You showed us that the first time. It has the scripted sequences and the cutscenes and the whizbangs and the stuff. Very nice, now show us what happens after the first 10 minutes please.

  26. Nico_101 says:

    Star Wars: Mass Effect ?

  27. SkittleDiddler says:

    I’m just so tired of all these star wars.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4GrHGnFtg4

  28. Victuz says:

    But there already exists a great Star Wars shooter.
    It’s called Star Wars: Republic Commando.
    And I want a sequel to it :’-(

  29. pilouuuu says:

    Why don’t they start doing adventure games again with all the access to new, cool technology they have? They could be gaming Pixar if they wanted to!

  30. MythArcana says:

    *cough*cashgrabfranchise*cough*

  31. Vagrant says:

    How can it be every trailer ever when it doesn’t have dubstep?
    Also, passively interested in the game. Star Wars games usually do well when the remove the space samurai.

  32. wodin says:

    best horn sounds in any film is Red State

  33. Dilapinated says:

    That was physically uncomfortable to watch.

    FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH

    Corny Action One-Liner

    FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH

  34. spamenigma says:

    13FACE

  35. therealspratt says:

    This trailer, so much better on mute with the addition of smooth jazz, preferably Coltrane, like most things in life.

  36. Betamax says:

    I started off leery about this, but I’m coming around to it now. If nothing else it looks like a fun cinematic based game, and if they nail the writing and VA it should be a blast. Would be lovely to see them do something creative with the game play of course.

    Yeah sure, after TFU2 I think most people are sceptical to some degree. But some of the naysaying seems a bit OTT, it’s less that we have had heaps of rubbish Star Wars games and more that we just… haven’t had many recently.

    TFU2 was fairly awful, sure, but TFU was merely average and an ok slashfest. Empire at War wasn’t bad. Lego SW is fun. TOR meanwhile is a good game, just unimaginative where game play is concerned.

    Before that there was quality such as the aforementioned Rep Com, Battlefront, the Starfighters and such. JK2 and JA. The KotORs. Not seeing this mass of awful SW titles that gets talked about.

    I do echo the request for JK3, BF3 and a new flight sim game though, naturally.

  37. Nick says:

    The fuck is this shit?

  38. dmoe says:

    THIS AINT YO FATHERS STAR WARS!! DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNN!

  39. Guiscard says:

    Given I’m playing TIE Fighter at the moment (for reasons of A) oldschool awesomness and B) my computer’s processor has basically given up, it can barely run anything more recent) I can’t say I have much faith in LucasArts delivering a decent Star Wars game again. Far more fun than anything else LucasArts have produced in the last twenty years.

    I’d kill for a new X-Wing game that actually played like an old X-Wing game…

    • wodin says:

      Isn’t that something everyone wants? It beats me why they don’t make a new X Wing game..surely they read things on forums..as thats one of the most requested sequels asked for full stop from any game series..

  40. Ultra Superior says:

    Star Wars!

    The next best thing after Warhammer 40 K.

    Like W40K for sissies.

    Lightsabersss guysss!

  41. Lobotomist says:

    Crates, so many crates !

  42. starmade says:

    What is this, mass effect? This has no star wars feeling in it at all. What a disgrace.

  43. portchd says:

    When are lucasarts going to realise that all people want is another Republic commando game, that thing was Awesome, and this looks to be coming a tad closer…

  44. kael13 says:

    ‘BWAAAAAAAAAAM’ tag needed.

    Oh I do hope they make this good. If they can nail a decent story and make the PC release relatively bug-free I think I’ll enjoy the game.

  45. The Sombrero Kid says:

    The chances of this game being good are less than zero.

    • Cinek says:

      Why? For sure it’ll be linear, but other than that – it might have a good storyline, as well as some nice effects and graphics. People buy loads of games for effects alone (eg. whole CoD ungame series – no storyline, graphics are hardly good, but effects are all over the place), so I hardly see this one being worse.

  46. Brothabear says:

    I dont want any starwars where Matt Damon could be right at home in, fk that.

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