FARWACE

By Alec Meer on September 3rd, 2012 at 10:00 pm.

warface?

Warrin’ faces in the WARFACE
I faced the war and the WARFACE
I needed war ’cause I had face
I warred the face and the WARFACE

I faced my war and it wars so face
Guess my face is war
She’s the best war that I ever faced
I warred the face and the WARFACE
I faced the war and the WARFACE

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206 Comments »

  1. FriendlyFire says:

    Pun onslaught incoming.

    • Tenerim says:

      The curtains where real but his FACE was WAR?

    • Dthen says:

      I don’t think I can face it.

    • TheAngryMongoose says:

      Puns are old hat. Imana do some Anagrams!

      Personally, I’m looking forward to playing Raw Face at Cafe War.

      • Sparkasaurusmex says:

        Is this like that game Far Cwae?

      • Bob says:

        Aw…Farce?

      • brulleks says:

        Caw, fear? I couldn’t give a raw fec.

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          • Palehorse says:

            Kudos to this guy. The anagram was so obscure I missed it.

      • Dinger says:

        Nah. Anagrams and puns are both weird. I mean, what’s the game about?
        With a name like Whore Phase, I assumed it involves a virginal blonde protagonist whose powerup involves turning brunette, growing stiletto heels and spouting pre Hayes-Office Mae West lines. The games industry just can’t get past those stereotypes.

    • Savagetech says:

      Puns would be unwarranted here, we should all save face and just abstain.

    • Beartastic says:

      Punslaught?

    • Geen says:

      FIRE THE MEME CANNONS!

  2. PleasingFungus says:

    AMERRCUH, FUCK YEAH

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    GONNA KILL SOME OF THEM PEOPLE WHO DON’T LOOK LIKE US (except everyone’s in silly armor, so I guess they do?)

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      I love that song.

      SLAVERY! FUCK YEAH!

    • zerosociety says:

      But is that the case here, since they’re killing Pseudo-Blackwater?

    • lurkalisk says:

      It sounds like you’ve mistaken this for a different game.

    • noom says:

      “The very people who claim to protect it, leave a trail of death and desolation in their wake.”

      Cue we-will-stop-at-nothing-to-protect-the-world rhetoric. So, does this mean America gets Irony now or not..?

      • Whallaah says:

        Nah, subtlety is wasted on the Colonials.

        O, and before people start complaining about the status of WAR games, we’ll just have to FACE it…

        • The head Thorax of Abdomen says:

          Now I feel unwelcome, see? Would you say that loudly at a crowded international airport terminal? Then be nice and don’t say it here.

    • affenkopf says:

      You guys realize this is developed by Crytek Kiev?

      • lijenstina says:

        And ? They are doing what they are being told to do.

      • qrter says:

        Also – generally the publisher will want them to outsource the writing of plot and dialogue (as little as there may be) to an English or US company.

    • BestFriends4Ever says:

      The good guys seem to be from Cleveland.

  3. Arcadia says:

    WARFACE

  4. Gonefornow says:

    “Leave a trail of depth and tesselation in their wake.”

    I’m glad to hear Crytek has a sense of humour as well.

  5. John Richardson says:

    Modern Warfare 2 redone very well in the Cry Engine?

    • RizziSmoov says:

      Not with meat grinder rectangles for tdm maps it won’t.
      The lack of killstreaks is welcome though.

  6. KauhuK says:

    Let’s face it: modern war has been done to death in FPS games.

  7. The Army of None says:

    FACE OF WAR IS WARFACE

  8. Skabooga says:

    I still don’t know what I was warring for
    And my face was running wild
    A million dead-end WARFACES
    Every time I thought I’d got it war
    It seemed the face was not so WARFACE
    So I turned my war to face me
    But I’ve never caught a face
    Of how the others must see the WARFACER
    I’m much too fast to take that test
    W-W-W-WARFACE!

  9. Hoaxfish says:

    just when I thought this stuff would stop appearing in the comments of every goddamn article… you restart it

    • gekitsu says:

      just when i thought i was out … they pull me back in.

      WARFACE!

    • PodX140 says:

      1000x this. I’m like “Finally, not seeing anymore of those stupid… oh no. Oh god please… NOOOOOOOOOO”

      Seriously, now I’m going to have to put up with this crap for another 2 months?

      • Clean3d says:

        These are vegetables, and you must eat them. They are good for you, although you may not like them.

    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      I used to think this stuff would stop appearing…until I took a war to the face

      • tormeh says:

        Hide yo arrows, hide yo war ’cause they be facing everything around here.

        …Arrowface.

        • ColOfNature says:

          I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a WAR to the FACE.

      • Gap Gen says:

        I too long for the day when PEACEFACE shall reign over the Earth.

    • Nick says:

      This was my thought as well.

  10. Adriaan says:

    WAR! .. FACE! .. YEAH!

    What iiis it goood for..!?

  11. Tuggy Tug says:

    NEED MORE WAR WITH THE FACE

  12. ZIGS says:

    More like warfeces

  13. beetle says:

    faceland? clevewar?

  14. simoroth says:

    Face. Face never changes.

  15. Colonel J says:

    Third verse, Alec? Come on man.

    Shootin’ people with a war face
    I faced the war and the WARFACE
    I miss my face and I miss my war
    I warred the face and the WARFACE

  16. kozoli says:

    my doctor advised me to stay away from rps comment punanza’s, so sorry if this has been coined and re-coined

    war farce

  17. Tuor says:

    ‘Oh ye who go about saying unto each: “Hello Warface”:
    Dost thou know the magnitude of thy sin before the gods?
    Yea, verily, thou shalt be ground between two stones.
    Shall the angry gods cast thy body into the whirlpool?
    Surely, thy eye shall be put out with a sharp stick!
    Even unto the ends of the earth shalt thou wander and
    unto the land of the dead shalt thou be sent at last.
    Surely thou shalt repent of thy cunning.’

    • atticus says:

      O, she doth teach the muzzles to burn bright!
      It seem she shoots upon the cheek of night,
      Like a rich handgun in a mercenary’s hand
      Violence too rich to use, but still so bland
      So shows a vile black crow flocking with doves
      As yonder lady o’er her fellows shows
      The measure done, I’ll watch her place of stand
      And shooting her make bless’d my rude hand
      Did my heart hate till now? Forswear it sight!
      For I ne’er saw true WARFACE till this night.

  18. Kaira- says:

    Please stop.

  19. MrLakestream says:

    WhY is the soundtrack not Tin Soldiers by The Small WARFACES?

  20. MuscleHorse says:

    WHEN TWO FACES GO TO WAR, WARFACE IS ALL YOU CAN FACE, LET’S WAR TO FACE, LET’S FACE TO WAR

  21. iucounu says:

    Hello Warface my old friend
    It’s time to face the war again
    Because a warface softly creeping
    Warred my face while I was sleeping
    And the facewar that was warring with my face
    Did not look ace
    And that’s the sound – of Warface

    Faces warred in streets of brown
    In some dilapidated town
    And the warface was a man-shoot
    Where you gun and run and re-boot
    And the facewar looked a lot like the likes of C.O.D.
    Or BF3
    They’re just as brown – as Warface

    • DuddBudda says:

      super

    • Breemis says:

      I registered with this site just now solely to award you, sir, with my paltry sum of internets. You may never receive the medal you deserve for this, but know you do deserve it!

  22. mehteh says:

    Gotta love the shallow, dull gun sounds.

  23. mrmalodor says:

    Warface promises to permanently change the face of war.
    But will it be able to save face in the process?

  24. JFS says:

    *cue sixties guitar*

    … dammit, now I got an earworm.

  25. AlwaysRight says:

    You’ve let me down,
    you’ve let John down,
    but more importantly
    You’ve let yourself down.

    You’re better than this Alec.

    I’m not angry with you… I’m dissapointed.

  26. zBeeble says:

    so… this amazing force is all based out of (approximately) Erie, PA? Really? I thought for a second it might have been Buffalo — but that would just be too silly.

  27. Brigand says:

    Wait… Warface is actually the name of the game?
    I hope to every deity imaginable that this is the most elaborately planned parody of this century.

  28. Binho says:

    FACEBOOK

    amidoinitrite?

  29. richard says:

    I counted at least 6 different gravelly accents, what the hell was that? It was changing word by word.

  30. Fazer says:

    I like how they call it “social FPS”.
    I hope I’ll be able to post on your WALLFACE.

  31. brulleks says:

    War Face. Never lose it
    War Face. Never chose this way
    War Face. Never close your eyes
    War Face always shines.

  32. noclip says:

    I’m waiting for the FPS where the player goes to war against Activision and EA to stop the ceaseless tide of military FPS games.

  33. MrTambourineMan says:

    The map of “Balkans” it shows in trailer is actually Yugoslavia, which ceased to exist in this form on 25.6.1991. Seems we have a historical shooter on our hands here :)

  34. Cockles says:

    What is this WARFACE you speak of?

  35. S Jay says:

    WARFACE! (How come there is no exclamation mark?!?!?!)

    WARFACE!

  36. Goodtwist says:

    Who are you who is so war in the ways of faces?

  37. Jimmy says:

    “….fighting to end their ruthless profiteering in the Middle-East”
    CUE next scene in Central Asia

  38. Charles de Goal says:

    I hear WARFACE got its application for a hexadecimal number position rejected.

  39. marcusfell says:

    And so, the first great RPS meme was… Necro’d?!

    WARFACE

  40. Ritashi says:

    Wait wait wait… This whole time, WARFACE WAS ACTUALLY A REAL GAME?!?! I STILL am not sure that I can believe that there is seriously a game called warface. I keep thinking this must be some kind of elaborate joke. Every single thing I see about this, I’m just waiting for the punchline. But… but is it really serious? Is it really real? I can’t even tell. What is this I don’t even.

  41. Shodex says:

    WACEFACE!

    Yeah, it’s never going to get old. My Minecraft Hardcore World is called “MINEFACE!!!11″

  42. JFS says:

    Cry Havoc, and let SLIP THE FACES OF WAR!

  43. Faren22 says:

    What is a WAR?
    A miserable little pile of FACES!
    But enough talk! Put on your WARFACE!

  44. Shodex says:

    LEMME SEE YOUR WARFACE!

  45. Stellar Duck says:

    WARFACE!
    Never been so much fun!
    WARFACE!
    Never been so much fun!
    WARFACE!
    Never been so much fun!
    WARFACE!
    Never been so much fun!

    Go to your brother
    Kill him with your gun
    Leave him dying in his uniform
    Dying in the sun

    WARFACE!

    • Hillbert says:

      It’s a face!
      It’s a face!
      It’s a, it’s a, it’s warface!
      What? WARFACE!

  46. Greggh says:

    Say WARFACE again, I dare ya! I double dare ya!!

  47. FullMetalMonkey says:

    Rock, Paper, Shotgun writing at its finest.

  48. CrookedLittleVein says:

    Alec, I imagine you’ve made a lot of po-faced people faintly unhappy.

    SADFACE

  49. TwwIX says:

    Meh. Another linear, corridor shooter. I don’t see how any of these vanilla shooters are going to compete with Planetside 2.