Goldfinger Also On Craig’s List: 007 Legends

By Adam Smith on September 18th, 2012 at 8:00 pm.

The screenshot continues the proud tradition of crap villain introductions. The headline refers to the list of Bond films and their villains that are being recreated in shake and stir ‘em up 007 Legends, a list maintained by a pretend version of Daniel Craig, voice by the actual Daniel Craig who sounds like he’s doing a rushed and rubbish impression of himself. Clear enough? Legends will construct a bridge of continuity between On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Goldfinger, Licence to Kill, Die Another Day and Moonraker. The last mission apparently covers some Skyfall happenings, so there’ll be at least one surprise. Here’s a video of the Goldfinger scenes, which are extremely unsurprising.

Surely if you’re going to string together Bond films into some sort of continuity, like beefy machismo sausages hanging in a Pinewood palace, sci-fi cash-in Moonraker is the one you’d definitely leave out?

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40 Comments »

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  1. Buckermann says:

    Soooooo, Pussy Galore, eh?

    • Grey Ganado says:

      “What a total fucking misnomer. I mean I would not touch her with yours.”

    • USER47 says:

      The question is, do we have to rape her as Connery did?:)

      I really hate this part of the movie, early Bond was such a jerk. Raping women, blackmailing them to have sex with him etc. Meh.

      • DickSocrates says:

        That’s when Bond was still actually James Bond, and not a comic relief super hero. He straight up murders a guy in the first movie.

        • USER47 says:

          I don’t think that forced sex is what makes Bond:).

        • JackShandy says:

          I remember him straight up murdering a lot of guys in all the movies.

          Also: He’s kissing a dame to get information out of her, then a gunman pops out and he pulls her around to take the bullet for him, before tossing her aside and running off in pursuit. That happened.

  2. Brun says:

    Hey! I liked Moonraker…

    EDIT: Also, nice title.

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      Vandelay says:

      I’m a fan of Roger Moore’s Bond, but I guess those were the ones that was always on telly when I was growing up. Moonraker might have been incredibly cheesy, but I still like it.

      Weird choice of films for this game though. Goldenfinger is probably the only one that is well regarded (well, OHMSS is excellent, despite Lazenby.)

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        c-Row says:

        Opening Pandora’s Box right in the second comment? Ok then… best Moore Bonds in my opinion are The Spy Who Loved Me because it’s just a perfect Bond movie, and A View To A Kill (despite Moore’s age) for the soundtrack and, most of all, Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin.

        • Brun says:

          Whatever, I wanted to be an astronaut when I was growing up and Moonraker had Space Shuttles with lasers.

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          Vandelay says:

          Agree with those picks completely. The hilarity of an elderly Moore running around in A View to a Kill just adds to its greatness.

          I have an affection for Live and Let Die too, although I don’t think mini-me realised just how racist it was.

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            c-Row says:

            The great thing about Live And Let Die for me is that the plot revolves around a believable villain and a rather plausible plan. No orbital super lasers, no over-the-top gimmicks, just an evil drug lord with a perfectly reasonable scheme.

        • Brun says:

          Personally my favorite Bonds are Pierce Brosnan (since he was the Bond of my youth in the 90’s, and GoldenEye obviously has a special place in my heart because of the video game) and Connery since he’s the quintessential Bond.

          • westyfield says:

            Goldeneye, The World is Not Enough, and Casino Royale are my top Bond films. From Russia With Love is decent as well, but my love for that film is partly due to the actually-not-bad PS2 game.

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    Smashbox says:

    The only thing is … these movies all have stories already. Are they just jamming them together?

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      Vandelay says:

      It will be like the rather abysmal attempt to update Goldeneye for the remake.

      “I am too young to be the son of a Cossack, so… err… something something… BANKERS!”

      And, Daniel Craig, I like your Bond, but that delivery of the most famous line from all Bond films was one of the worst things I have ever heard. At least Goldfinger gave some effort in his response.

      (Side note – Wahoo, complete Bond Blu-Ray set arriving next week!!!)

  4. Premium User Badge

    c-Row says:

    Why does Goldfinger sound like Vlad from Max Payne all of a sudden? He should either be voiced by a native Englishman (after the character) or a German (after actor Gerd Fröbe).

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    Gap Gen says:

    I AM MAKING THIS HAT FLOAT WITH MY MIND WOOOOO

  6. Kestrel says:

    Kiiiiiiiiind of a total slap in the face to fans of the traditional Bond movies and their respective actors… Nothing against Craig. He’s a great Bond.

  7. hamburger_cheesedoodle says:

    Hooray! A partnership between my two favourite companies, MGM and Activison! At last!

  8. jonfitt says:

    I hate to play the graphics snob, but blimey charlie that looked like nob. Is the 360 such a dead weight nowadays that games have to look that low-poly?

    Or are they attempting to rekindle the Goldeneye 64 magic by lifting the models directly in?

    • SelfEsteemFund says:

      I was struck by it too, looked like an amateur source mod.

  9. int says:

    Why can’t they just use Connery’s face and have a voice actor mimic is voice.

    Or would that be too shilly even for Jamesh Bond shtandards.

  10. Snuffy the Evil says:

    Why does the trailer for a video game about an elite British spy have copious shots of American soldiers shooting things instead?

  11. OverlordZombie says:

    I only ask for a Sean Connery skin

  12. GunnerMcCaffrey says:

    All this really does is make me want to live in an alternate universe where Goldeneye 64 was also released for PC, because then I’d simply shout, “MEET ME IN THE STACKS EVERYONE, PISTOLS ONLY”

  13. Canadave says:

    Why can’t they stick to doing original stories or movie adaptations for Craig’s games, like they did during the Brosnan era? I’m not a fan of sticking Craig in other actor’s movies, even though I like his Bond.

  14. jimangi says:

    Odd that they’d put Daniel Craig in something that has a man who can turn women into solid gold and a a bloke who throws his hat at you in it. I thought these new ones were supposed to be a ‘gritty reboot’. Not that I mind, I don’t care for the new ones.

  15. vodka and cookies says:

    Oddjob was a real life villain too, the actor who played him is in jail for kidnapping, torture and rape.

    • SocraticIrony says:

      Baloney. Sakata died in 1982. Do some research before throwing around that kind of accusation.

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        lasikbear says:

        He was thinking of the actor that plays Random Task, Joe Son.

  16. YourMessageHere says:

    So basically, a game recycling all the worst films of each Bond actor’s careers (possibly excepting Goldfinger, but then again maybe not), all strung together as a (shudder) reimagining and set right now? Something funny’s going on. They had that poll for the UK’s favourite Bond song on Radio 5’s film programme the other day and it turned out to be…Live and Let Die. Now this rears its head. I’m really worried about Skyfall now.

    Alright, that’s actually sophistry. Moonraker’s pretty bad with good moments, Die Another Day is almost certainly the worst Bond film of all; Goldfinger plenty of positives and is probably better than Diamonds are Forever, OHMSS is a great film (and I say Lazenby is a good Bond, it’s just the film’s somewhat more realistic treatment of Bond as a character forces him to be more desperate and confused than in any other film, hence he’s unpopular with those who like Bond suave and confident) and License To Kill is only the worst of Dalton’s films because The Living Daylights is the best Bond film. I still don’t get why they want to do this, though, and why these films. Plus I really dislike the idea of sticking Daniel Craig in other actors roles – seems like the thin end of a wedge that leads to George Lucasing the whole Bond back catalogue, making Professor Dent shoot first and so on.