By Jim Rossignol on September 21st, 2012 at 3:00 pm.
UPDATE: Andy has chose the winners. Check your email later tonight to see if you won. Winners list is here.
IGF winning heist game Monaco – which I can report is fairly brilliant – is having a closed beta. Yes, very closed, only a select few people are invited. And some of those people are you. Well, if you can be clever, anyway. Developer Andy Schatz is reading, and he’s going to pick ten commenters from this thread to receive access to the beta. The keys will be sent to your RPS-registered email address by me, so if you can’t check that for whatever reason, you might want to provide another. For your comment, please reason why you should get a key in verse. Haiku and limericks would be preferred.
Oldish Monaco footage below, too.
21/09/2012 at 15:03 Vorrin says:
wow, free beta that’s a steal! (and my wit is unexistant today, tough luck I guess -_- )
21/09/2012 at 15:40 Norskov says:
Cling to first post
Same lack of wit
My hope is toast
I’ll throw a fit
21/09/2012 at 16:00 zind says:
There once was a man from Kent.
He barely could pay his rent.
A steam sale came,
he bought no game,
because his wallet was spent.
22/09/2012 at 03:29 peenuoz165 says:
Stealing makes my loins warm… Therefor, I would like a beta key so my man jibbles don’t implode on themselves. Thank you Andy, you’ve made a sweet game!
http://www.cinemablend.com/games/Publishers-Tried-Exploiting-Obsidian-Kickstarter-Keep-IP-Rights-Profits-47113.html
21/09/2012 at 16:00 Artifex00 says:
I will steal your
Key if you do not
Give it to me?
(For legal reasons I am not really stealing anything nor do I condone it)
21/09/2012 at 16:03 BestFriends4Ever says:
hatsu shigure
saru mo komino wo
Monaco nari.
21/09/2012 at 16:20 smurfy911 says:
Stealthy pickpocket and lookout save the day,
by watching our opposition like prey,
we sneak in like a fox,
by guards who lumber like ox,
and merrily prance away.
Hacker and locksmith broke us in,
both as quiet as dropping pin,
then we grabbed all we could,
meanwhile spilling no blood,
Around the Lights, lasers and guards,
it’s more risky than playing the cards,
we’re trying to cheat the casino,
then sneak off to Rio,
tales shall be sung by the bards!
21/09/2012 at 16:44 3del says:
Diebe ziehen ein
und bringen ihn um seine Habe:
armer Stadtstaat Monaco.
Thieves move in
and mulct it of it’s chattels:
poor citystate Monaco
21/09/2012 at 16:50 chwynn says:
Rock Paper Shotgun is great,
Just like a really good mate,
My rhyming is bad,
and Monaco’s rad,
so give me a copy for free!
21/09/2012 at 17:42 silentplanet says:
To steal the game key!
No other way would be right.
Expect to be robbed.
21/09/2012 at 19:22 pwndabr says:
Antelope felon,
Quixotic theft, fruit for loot,
Cantaloupe melon.
21/09/2012 at 19:53 Totally heterosexual says:
Nice haiku
10/10
would rape again
How weird is that?
21/09/2012 at 19:55 HaikuWin says:
A triple-haiku, just for you (this also rhymes. +1):
Sigh I was at work
How am I meant to compete
I am become fail.
As-if page seven
I really would rather cheat
I apologise!
An account I made
Simply for this beta key
Have mercy on me..
21/09/2012 at 20:40 Bruski says:
Line of sight is key
Don’t forget the pet monkey
Savior he will be
21/09/2012 at 22:50 S Jay says:
hey, pick me
for the beta key
I am terrible with rhyming, honey
So shut up and take my money!
22/09/2012 at 00:11 monomilkman says:
My first name: Ryan
My last name be Monaco
What more need be said?
now if only I didn’t miss the deadline…booo
22/09/2012 at 00:22 Jerakal says:
The thief left it behind:
a key
in my e-mail.
22/09/2012 at 08:48 Steven Smith says:
What’s your’s is mine, oh no you don’t, it’s mine IT’S ALL MINE!!!!
^ not very clever or amusing but I’m an avid supporter of this game’s development & would be willing complete a large assortment of highly unpleasant tasks to have the chance to have a early sneaky peak at your masterpiece & try to provide some constructive feedback.
21/09/2012 at 15:06 virgil says:
I’ve been waiting for this game forever, incredibly excited for it.
21/09/2012 at 15:55 Kourage says:
Here is my hopeful haiku for a heroic heist game.
Locksmith, Lookout, Mole,
Hacker, Hobo, Gentleman,
Redhead, Cleaner….Thieves
Good luck to all the amazingly clever words here, and good luck to those that have to choose just a few.
Edit: I just noticed I replied to a post when I meant to make my own. Forgive me.
21/09/2012 at 15:06 Mitheor says:
The trailer plays
My wait has come to an end
Monaco right here.
21/09/2012 at 17:40 Burc says:
In a real Haiku
One should always mention spring
You should know that, duh.
21/09/2012 at 15:06 icupnimpn2 says:
A haiku:
First first first first first
First first first first first first first
First first first dang Vorrin
21/09/2012 at 15:31 Fanbuoy says:
I vote for this one
The fail is hilarious
I’ll wait for release
21/09/2012 at 15:06 Hexidecimal says:
Indie Games Unite
Small Dev Teams Are The Future
Monaco Is King
There is my Haiku entry. This game looks awesome. Good Luck Everyone!
21/09/2012 at 15:07 Hearticle says:
If I were to win a beta key, I would adopt ten kittens and bathe them in sweet tender loving.
21/09/2012 at 15:07 groovychainsaw says:
i like to steal things
but prefer to be given
a monaco key….
21/09/2012 at 15:07 slymcbeans says:
Even though I never win anything like this, I always give it a shot. Been following Monaco for a while now, getting a chance to help in the beta would be fantastic. Good luck to all!
My entry:
To do such a heist
A caper of such large scope
Would be an honor
21/09/2012 at 15:07 Armitage says:
Monaco looks great,
excited to play it soon,
I want a beta key.
21/09/2012 at 15:07 borso says:
I’m waiting for this,
a long time ago go go,
my soul is empty.
21/09/2012 at 15:08 BlueMaxima says:
A thief to steal a beta key
Which unlucky fellow shall it be
To win the contest which requires wit
Or be tossed into the developer’s pit
Of stupid entries and silly bits
But to win this key would be the tits
So I shall ask this, it’d be quite dandy
Monaco please, my dear Andy
21/09/2012 at 15:09 Hexidecimal says:
*clap clap clap* Nice one.
21/09/2012 at 15:13 BlueMaxima says:
Thanks, wrote it in less than two minutes at midnight and I’m tired after playing a marathon round of Borderlands 2 :P
21/09/2012 at 15:08 Lim-Dul says:
Quickly steal a key?
Perhaps seduce Andy Schatz
Just like the Redhead.
21/09/2012 at 15:08 pakoito says:
Please RPS,
give me one of the keys
cannot haiku
21/09/2012 at 15:09 sissyneck says:
My 10-year old, Dylan, and I
Are looking for a new game to buy.
We’d like a lot of the lootin’,
Not quite-so-much of the shootin’,
So as to avoid another situation like the time when he had nightmares after playing Borderlands with me because of images of killing lunatic midgets (and also was inadvertently introduced to the term “lady parts” by Scooter).
21/09/2012 at 15:09 StevoIRL says:
How come the genre of stealth is so neglected yet it’s clearly one of the most thrilling forms of gameplay available?
21/09/2012 at 15:09 DumbparameciuM says:
There once was a man from Australia
He wasn’t great at writing limericks.
Because he played Torchlight two for like eight hours straight
Can I have a fucking beta key plz kthx.
21/09/2012 at 15:09 Zeknurn says:
I should not win.
21/09/2012 at 15:10 Amaraen says:
He’s reading this!? Oh I feel so… validated.
21/09/2012 at 15:10 squareking says:
There once was a poster named Unaco
Who wanted to play the game Monaco.
He posted a lot,
But ’twas all for naught
…Please give access to squareking instead.
21/09/2012 at 15:10 EddieV says:
I want this Monaco game
So that I can steal it, run away
And not feel the same
As everybody else who chime
About making a rhyme!
21/09/2012 at 15:10 Kairased says:
Thievery abounds
Beta keys stolen by me
You can all suck it
21/09/2012 at 15:11 CubeSoldier says:
A Stealth Game? AND COOP?! That’s the most amazign thing ever! Getting into the beta would be awesome
21/09/2012 at 15:11 Scoops says:
Stealing makes my loins warm… Therefor, I would like a beta key so my man jibbles don’t implode on themselves. Thank you Andy, you’ve made a sweet game!
21/09/2012 at 15:11 DanHaggar says:
Because i’m Jamaican, and not a national export.
21/09/2012 at 15:11 capn.lee says:
I think I should win because I’ve enclosed a tenner, mums the word
21/09/2012 at 15:12 Joe Average says:
A haiku:
Following for years
Played a lot with friends at PAX
Broke your demo twice
21/09/2012 at 15:12 xcession says:
There was a younger gamer called Dave
Who’s skills at rhyming weren’t good
He said “Give me a key or I’ll steal it for free”
But no, honestly I wouldn’t please can I have a beta.
21/09/2012 at 15:12 NachoPiggy says:
Free stuff is good
Game free about steal
Stealing game about stealing
for free
yes, toaster
21/09/2012 at 15:19 golem09 says:
Win you should
great toaster you do have
young padawan
21/09/2012 at 15:39 NachoPiggy says:
Thankful I am
Comment buttery toasted
Yoda’s yoghurt
21/09/2012 at 15:12 Pascual says:
Played this game at PAX
Now I miss it and want more
Beta key to the max!!
21/09/2012 at 15:12 hudcrab says:
Oh, oh oh, me please!
21/09/2012 at 15:12 Arachneus says:
My
Opinion about “why i should get the beta key”
Neither is
About
Charity nor
Obligation.
Will
It be
Long or
Light ?
Beloved jury,
Excuse my English.
My country
Is France.
Now please, read the real message behind
Each first letter.
Thanks.
21/09/2012 at 15:12 PoissonPilote says:
I love stealing stuff
But it might get me in jail
I need monaco
21/09/2012 at 15:13 The Sombrero Kid says:
I should get a key,
in case that I don’t,
On the furniture I will pee.
21/09/2012 at 15:14 bigdirtyphil says:
For your consideration my good sirs. A beta key, por favor.
21/09/2012 at 15:14 JackShandy says:
Monaco.
*clicking sounds, bongos*
21/09/2012 at 19:17 Amun says:
Thrillsville, daddio.
21/09/2012 at 15:14 Silversunfrenzy says:
Yes I have been following Monaco
which some have considered ironic, no
my love is sincere
so please have no fear
a beta key tips the first Domino
21/09/2012 at 15:14 BobSagat says:
The Andy Schatz here?
Are you really reading this?
I think you’re handsome. :)
21/09/2012 at 15:14 William Bundy says:
Strange dreams. Bank robbers?
I awake, metamorphosed.
Monaco–Kafka.
21/09/2012 at 15:15 PieInTheSky says:
Monaco is a game in…
which you rob things from people
Andy Schatz is pretty.
21/09/2012 at 15:15 Visualante says:
My desktop wallpaper features a white church under a stained glass looking sky. Reminds me a little of Hitman Blood Money’s final level.
21/09/2012 at 15:15 NetsukeMonkey says:
So my three criminal pals and me,
We wanted a Monaco key,
We entered a verse
(It wasn’t the worse)
Then decided nah- forget this. Let’s break in to Pocketwatch tonight and just steal the beta keys – proper crim like.
21/09/2012 at 15:15 jakeroth says:
the life of a thief
stuffing gems in my pockets
hanging out in ducts
21/09/2012 at 15:15 golem09 says:
Time of the essence
on my hands I have none
a shame
21/09/2012 at 15:16 Marqaha says:
oh, caffeine grant me
the cleverness to earn me
a Monaco key
Hmm, I might need more coffee. How about if I ask nicely? May I please have a Monaco beta key?
21/09/2012 at 15:17 Mike says:
There once was a thief from old Kilgarrick,
Who stole the last line of this limerick,
The reason, as you’ll see,
Why we both wanted that key,
Is
21/09/2012 at 15:17 Miltage says:
As far as indie games go,
This one’ll likely steal the show,
So please Mr Schatz,
Ignore these other prats,
I’d love a chance at Monaco.
No offense to other commenters.
21/09/2012 at 15:17 thordur says:
I’m pretty excited to play it and I have been following the development for some time now. Sorry, no haiku but I got a 3 years old imac which is has a horrible graphics card(geforce 9400m, it sucks), so it might be good to see how well the game runs on it?
21/09/2012 at 15:17 whexican says:
The Locksmith can handle the locks
While the gentlemen changes his smocks
The redhead can distract
Any guards we attract
And the mole can just tunnel though rocks.
So that is my plan
To stick it to the man,
and empty out all of his stocks.
21/09/2012 at 15:17 McDan says:
Playing Monaco,
it would be the greatest time,
RPS is best.
21/09/2012 at 15:18 thijmenbink says:
I once stole from a candystore
icecream cones but then nevermore
But if I’d get a key
then baby I’d be
heisting ice till I’m breathing no more
21/09/2012 at 15:18 tamccullough says:
A thief in the night
I will never be
If I’m given a beta key
21/09/2012 at 15:18 jaqenn says:
Monaco beta
Made me a better person
Flat out changed my life
or
Remember the time
I followed you on twitter?
Now, favor for me!
or
Pffft*, a beta?
Already heisted the game
from PAX demo**
* – Pffft is two syllables
** – I didn’t, actually.
21/09/2012 at 15:18 Howling Techie says:
Monaco looks crazy and mind blowing,
With my enthusiasm only growing.
And as a poor student
I need to be prudent,
I am terrible at these and it’s showing.
21/09/2012 at 15:19 linorabolini says:
the zombie mode is included in this beta ? =P just kidding. It would be nice to test the game though.
my best wishes to the project.
here you have an image of a smiling Chinese:
http://static.pichicola.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/CHINO-RIENDO1.jpg
21/09/2012 at 15:19 liquid says:
Monaco… IS MINE!
21/09/2012 at 15:20 Dorga says:
Don’t mind if you don’t give me a key, I’m going to steal one anyway .
21/09/2012 at 15:20 krisswampthing says:
I’ve been waiting forever,
every video and sneak peak,
will trade sex for key!
21/09/2012 at 15:20 StevoIRL says:
Hey I just watched you,
and this is crazy,
so here’s my email,
Monaco me baby
21/09/2012 at 15:21 _m4tth3w_ says:
My time moves slowly.
Gaming brings me so much joy.
Beta invite, please?
21/09/2012 at 15:21 earltedly says:
There was a young gentleman from Monaco
Who stumbled upon-a-comb
His rock was broke
On his paper he did choke
And his shotgun went off in a blast
(erm, I’m the gentleman in the limerick, although I’m not technically from Monaco per se, but as you just read all my stuff is now broken, I’ve got no shotgun shells left and this leaves me with rather a lot of spare time on my hands with which I could definitely play this rather nice sounding new game).
21/09/2012 at 15:21 Chris D says:
Can it be the splendid new game called Monaco,
That was first announced quite long ago,
Is now nearly finished?
My excitement’s undiminshed!
So please send me a key cause I wanna go.
No rhyme is too tenuous. That’s how I roll.
21/09/2012 at 15:21 fdgonthier says:
Be excited for this game
As much as one can be
And I say I am the same
For the beta I am ready
My world of choice if Linux
For freedom it provide
Getting at the issues crux
Will get to be my pride
And if a key I don’t get
Rage in my blood will flow
And this won’t make me fret
As on you I will go Monaco
21/09/2012 at 15:22 AndySchatz says:
There once was a game called Monaco
That won the prestigious IGF, so
I went beta on a dare
to prove its not vaporware
I shoulda done this months ago.
21/09/2012 at 15:22 AshEnke says:
I don’t know Haiku
But oh maybe I do
I don’t know for sure
21/09/2012 at 15:22 Doomclown says:
Does anyone who needs to be given a key really deserve to go on heists?
21/09/2012 at 15:22 MrMstislav says:
Had to register
Newsletter disregarded
Beta key, I beg.
21/09/2012 at 15:35 Orija says:
This made me laugh aloud
ignore him, still
pick me, pick me!
21/09/2012 at 15:22 mrwonko says:
I was about to write a limerick, but I have far too many games to play as it is. Someone else probably deserves that key more than I do. hf&gl
21/09/2012 at 15:23 taniquetil says:
Men Of Nefarious Association Collecting Objects
21/09/2012 at 15:23 mtthwcmpbll says:
My pic cleverly
encodes a secret level.
I’d like to play it.
21/09/2012 at 15:23 Demon Beaver says:
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I want to play Monaco
Can I have a key?
21/09/2012 at 15:23 rowantheheralder says:
Andy Schatz, behold!
You posses the beta key
What is yours is mine
21/09/2012 at 15:23 MrMage says:
A heist was thought up by me,
To retrieve a Monaco key!
I’ve waited for years,
It’d leave me in tears!
So what do you say, Andy?
21/09/2012 at 15:23 Zyzzybalubah says:
I played it at PAX
Even the Safe House
What’s yours should be mine
21/09/2012 at 15:23 Tom De Roeck says:
MONACOFACE
21/09/2012 at 15:24 Alteffor says:
Watching for long time
Would provide feedback/reports
And have lots of fun
21/09/2012 at 15:24 Orija says:
way below the early birds
chances for thievery testing are low
still, he holds on to hope
21/09/2012 at 15:24 MrLebanon says:
perhaps if I had a Monaco key, I would not have to pirate ubisoft games
21/09/2012 at 15:24 tedlil says:
I thought that more people wanna help game to develop well not play earlier and comments here makes me realize that i was wrong. Yes, I agree. This game is looking really fun, but closed beta means: “You can play this game, but you also must try find bugs and tell us about them”. I don’t care if i will be in closed beta or not, because i can wait for it’s release, but it would be nice to play Monaco earlier and also help in developing it!
PS. I know that my English isn’t too good but i hope you will understand it as i wanted to.
21/09/2012 at 15:25 4026 says:
As Autumn approaches, it’s rainier.
And indie games keep getting brainier.
Post-Torchlight I wanna go
on to play Monaco
to indulge in some light kleptomania.
21/09/2012 at 15:25 johnnyr says:
I opened my eyes, stumbling clumsily to my humble pc
what should I find, but an invitation, nay, a call, for all to see
Monaco is going beta they say!
you must write they say!
but first I must pee.
Standing at the porcelain throne
a seed of thought begins to grow
conjuring up this very poem
christmas in september? could it be?
Please oh please Andy, may I have a key?
21/09/2012 at 15:25 tehsid says:
I wish to play your game
Even if this comment’s rather lame
But if you pick my name
I’ll continue to write limericks that don’t rhyme.
21/09/2012 at 15:26 msarge says:
There once was a man from Pennsylvania
Who wanted to play Monaco foreva
His name was Micky
And he’d sure like to be
One of the people to play the beta
21/09/2012 at 15:26 Capt. Eduardo del Mango says:
OK, OK – I’m in. My entry is a tribute to WH Auden’s “Funeral Blues”, and is an adaption of the first verse to make it relevant to ‘Monaco’.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and muffle the drum,
Because I’m trying to steal some shit here and if you all keep making so much goddamn noise we’ll get caught.
-Eduardo
21/09/2012 at 15:26 batman116 says:
I will make the game more popular.
Write an article \m/.
21/09/2012 at 15:26 Anso says:
I want to be in!, i followed the development since 2010 , and i love indie games, please choose me!!! also i will be the first spanish guy testing/playing Monaco if i get selected! , and if you need translators for the game, contact me ;)
21/09/2012 at 15:26 richardeflanagan says:
In a previous life
I lived in great strife
But filled my days
In thievish ways
Pilfering from the rife
To this very day
I can look around and say
Who’s got quick hands
And who’s the marked man
In crowds, almost right away
And due to this fact
The logic seems stacked
That I play Monaco
As I lived long ago
And not work on my game, FRACT
21/09/2012 at 15:26 redstripedcat says:
I’m from Italy, dude
Grant me an access to beta
Or I will be very rude
I know I sound like a mobster, please don’t get me wrong :D
Cheers from Italy.
21/09/2012 at 15:27 remover says:
Monoco is the game I’d die for,
I’ve looked at videos and screen shots and wanted more,
I’ve IM’d all my friends, “It’ll be incredible! You won’t be bored!”…
I received a notification that I talked it about it too much and was now being ignored,
I’ve lost all my friends but if you beta me, it’ll be worth the score.
21/09/2012 at 15:27 tehstealth says:
Stealth is my name,
Monaco is my game,
to sleuth around,
and not be found,
I seek a key with no shame!
21/09/2012 at 15:28 TalKeaton says:
There once was a game dev named Andy
Who said, “You know what would be dandy?”
To give a Beta Key
To TalKeaton, he
likes Monaco more than rock candy!
Yes, Monaco is looking great
Multiplayer stealth game? Can’t wait!
Give some Closed Beta Keys
To me, if you’d please
Your best Beta tester – my fate!
21/09/2012 at 15:28 Wrob says:
An Haiku:
21/09/2012 at 15:28 alice says:
run run run run run
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
why did that guard see me?
21/09/2012 at 15:28 renolc says:
I want to steal things
Will you help me do this thing?
Get to the choppa
21/09/2012 at 15:29 jfleschler says:
I’ve been following this game for years and can’t wait for it to finally come out!!
21/09/2012 at 15:29 djvlive says:
I heard of a game.
Stealth, sneak, action, and good friends.
Wait for Monaco.
21/09/2012 at 15:29 toad02 says:
I’m looking out for this game so much that makes me want to dig a hole in my wall, like a Mole. But instead of pickpocket or hack Andy, I will just be a gentleman and use my sexy redheaded charm to win it.
I think it will be cleaner this way (:
PS: I was just kidding. I’m lock picking Andy’s home right now. Bye!
21/09/2012 at 15:29 sinister agent says:
Your game looks fun, you ought to finish her
But with all these keys to administer
You’ll never be done
So why not take one
And give it to your old pal Sinister?
21/09/2012 at 15:30 RapscallionJones says:
No way I’ll be picked
I have pretty lousy luck
Desperately want
21/09/2012 at 15:34 AndySchatz says:
You’re not from the states! You called it a flat! LIAR
-edit- sorry that was meant for the comment below :)
21/09/2012 at 15:35 AndySchatz says:
The comment above was erroneous, my apologies. And if my third grade teacher comments below on yet another of my posts, I’ll flick her in her saggy boobs.
21/09/2012 at 15:53 sinister agent says:
Replied to, so that I can imply you said something terrible before deleting it. You terrible person.
Edit: An edit war is it, eh? Well, then, it’s an ed… oh wait, kettle’s done.
21/09/2012 at 15:57 golem09 says:
My god, girlfriend mode?
This will be on EG any minute
21/09/2012 at 17:02 paranoydandroyd says:
I am, in fact, from the states. South Carolina. Limericks, however, hail from the Isles. It was an easy rhyme, and I watch a lot of British televison.
21/09/2012 at 15:30 paranoydandroyd says:
There once was a man from the States
Who for Monaco just could not wait.
So he stalked Andy Schatz
And broke into his flat
For he grew tired of no release date.
21/09/2012 at 15:30 Epsz says:
There once was a man of twenty-three
Epsz you’d call him if you were to meet
He once got so depressed
that on the streets he yelled (undressed)
Because he hadn’t got a Monaco Key
21/09/2012 at 15:30 Hotseflots says:
I would love a beta key, but I’m not exactly John Keats. So good luck to all you linguistically gifted RPS’ers. I’ll just wait like all other mortals.
21/09/2012 at 15:31 cheeseNcrak says:
Is there a way to
Make a limerick-haiku
There once was a man….
And I failed.
21/09/2012 at 15:31 Jesse L says:
Don’t fall for flattery
Or blank verse in poetry.
It’s a stylish stealth op
(Best played in co-op)
That trades rhymes for a beta key.
21/09/2012 at 15:32 antoniodamala says:
Well you could gave me a beta key, but if you don’t want to it’s even better. Never forget that what is yours, is also mine, friend…
21/09/2012 at 15:33 Dharoum says:
*NEWSFLASH*
Monaco and in particularly the Monte Carlo Casino is being plagued by a number of strange individuals, running around in search for the next golden coin which have suddenly started to show up all over town.
When asked how they got here one, unnamed, individual replied that she entered an, at first glimpse majestic cultural event, where she submitted a haiku about the pleasures of thievery.
“Thievery abound in these lands
Coins lay around all over the place
Kissing a woman with red-hair”
However once, she was chosen a winner, she says a primal urge to steal things overtook her, and she could not help herself, bu to go to the most fabulous of places and steal whatever she could!
This seems to be the story of more people and it begs the question.. Just who was behind this facade of a Haiku-event and what does this criminal mastermind have in store for the future?
21/09/2012 at 15:33 gregf says:
So excited for this game been following it from the start. Looks great, hope to see you taking pre-orders in the near future.
21/09/2012 at 15:34 abudac says:
abrupt, coy syntax
uttering “What’s yours is mine.”
into strangers’ ears
21/09/2012 at 15:35 hemmingjay says:
Why do I need to play this? So I can troubleshoot how it is I got nicked on my last job. Everything seemed to fall apart in a perfectly orchestrated manner despite my rock solid plan. The likelihood that one of my partners sold me out or, worse yet, was law enforcement is not lost on me. I need these tools to figure out how it all went wrong and also to plan how I will settle the score when I get out. I’ve got some time on my hands and I can think of no better way to use it.
21/09/2012 at 15:37 damien0013 says:
Once upon PAX East
Was a beautiful sight seen
She was Monaco
21/09/2012 at 15:37 cziiki says:
There once was a man from Australia
Who’s limericks were a bit of a failure
He’d be doing just fine
Until the fifth line
….Crap…uhh give me a beta key?
21/09/2012 at 15:38 LoneGazebo says:
I would love a chance to beta-test Monaco. No worries if you don’t pick me, however. Congrats on making it to the beta stage!
21/09/2012 at 15:38 Lib3rtine says:
There once was a man named Lib3rtine,
To whom, all his friends would call a fiend,
So with turtle neck on, and gloves at the ready,
He robbed those fuckers blind…
21/09/2012 at 15:38 idiotapocs says:
gimme gimme gimme a key after midnight
won’t somebody help me chase the others away
gimme gimme gimme a key after midnight
take me through the darkness to the beta test of the game
21/09/2012 at 15:39 The Godzilla Hunter says:
A bomb.
21/09/2012 at 15:39 rxninja says:
Hidden in plain sight
A true diamond at PAX East
What is yours is mine
21/09/2012 at 15:39 gegepgep says:
There ain’t no job like robbing a casino
I’m hiding like the Gentleman dressed in a tuxedo
The cops are everywhere
I don’t think they see me though
I got eyes like the Lookout, so lets all tip-toe
The guards won’t notice, but if they are alerted
The Mole will dig a hole and leave the area deserted
The Redhead will come out and play
and leave the area flirted
While the Hacker hacks away
and now the crisis is averted
I knew this game would be great when I played it at PAX
My excitement was too much, I just had to relax
If you provide the BETA key I wont let you all down
I will be the greatest thief and won’t ever be found.
Love you guys!
- Justin Pattek
21/09/2012 at 15:39 EnricoLook says:
I’m waiting for this fantastic game :D
21/09/2012 at 15:40 MEdwards777 says:
Wow, I’ve been eagerly anticipating this game. Would love to get in on the beta!
21/09/2012 at 15:40 DeanLearner says:
99 goblets of gold in my safe.
99 goblets of gold.
I turn around and pi..
where are my goblets?
21/09/2012 at 15:40 KilgoreTrout_XL says:
why even bother
i can never win these things
i should go get pissed
21/09/2012 at 15:40 calebkester says:
A game I’ve followed
That teaches me to steal things
Momma would be proud
21/09/2012 at 15:41 golem09 says:
The art of poets
from another age
can’t be transferred
to an online stage
A rhyme doesnt make the verse
the chime makes it all transfer
from wordsonly used
to words unabused.
But all this ain’t wrong
when someone like me
can use an alien tongue
for the win of a beta key.
21/09/2012 at 15:41 xeon06 says:
I would really like a key
So that I can be sneaky
And rob the casino
I won’t get caught though
So can I please get a key?
21/09/2012 at 15:42 djfil007 says:
support indie games
i wear my monaco shirt
let me help the heist
21/09/2012 at 15:42 zapdsl says:
Moving to a new city,
alone and afraid,
with time on my hands.
Having
fun
playing
an exciting new game would be relieving
and productive.
21/09/2012 at 15:43 Oneknown says:
Remember that time,
I whispered what’s yours is mine,
To a stranger in line?
21/09/2012 at 15:43 zbond says:
There once was a man with two thumbs
Who couldn’t rhyme if you paid him great sums
The thing he wanted most
From his hast’ly writ post
Was to be in the Monaco beta: http://goo.gl/UrHkF !
21/09/2012 at 15:44 playvue says:
BOOM!
21/09/2012 at 15:44 SpinozaDreams says:
You guys just got a new user! Here’s my haiku:
The waiting took years
But is coming to a close
I couldn’t be more *steals your wallet*
Gotcha, Andy!
21/09/2012 at 15:45 mazzoli says:
There once was a man, dontcha know,
Who wanted to play Monaco.
He said, “It’s the cops, eh.
I’ll keep these hosers at bay
While you take all the money and go.”
21/09/2012 at 15:46 Strand says:
I wanted to play the game Monaco,
And there were few lengths to which I’d not go.
Sadly, I blew it.
Whilst typing, I knew it;
My poetry skills were merely so-so.
21/09/2012 at 15:46 Splynter says:
Steganography is a beautiful thing.
Levels hidden in pictures?
Your team’s a wonderful mixture,
All made by Andy, you king.
21/09/2012 at 15:48 Nighttripper says:
Well Andy, I’m about to lose it
Because I think you will surely refuse it
But I beseech thee
If you send me that key
I swear I’ll give it back once i used it
21/09/2012 at 15:48 blaxmith says:
Ten keys to give to them all
Ten keys to delight them
Ten keys to to a game I hope is worth all the excitement
(seriously, I’ve been hearing about this game for years, just come out already, damn)
21/09/2012 at 15:48 franckq says:
Please let me try this game which I wait since a long long time … Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase !
21/09/2012 at 15:49 ElVaquero says:
better give that key
don’t want to heist it from ya
i’ll crack andy’s safe
last line of above
sounds like innuendo right?
that’s how bad i want!
21/09/2012 at 15:49 wodin says:
Monaco…?
I’m rubbish at racing games
Not great at Grand Prix
But this is a thieving game
So can I have a beta Key?
21/09/2012 at 15:49 otzenGulasch says:
I want to get in,
on this beta thing.
If instead I get out,
for days I will pout.
I want to get rich,
so put a key in my fridge.
21/09/2012 at 15:50 chains101 says:
A hot taco on a chilly summer morning
The smell of something British
Working for the hot swag of yesterday
Boiled Bologna……Monaco
21/09/2012 at 15:52 Lobotomist says:
Limerick contest , no fair for non english speaker
But Monaco me waited for several long years
Hope you have key for me
21/09/2012 at 15:52 Lamb Chop says:
A beta would make me elated
but I’m afraid of a death pixellated
if they smash me to bits
I’ll throw quite a fit
and might have to defenestrate it.
21/09/2012 at 15:53 Nyksund says:
Bacon is good
Monaco is better
I like it so much
I want to be in the beta
21/09/2012 at 15:54 hyphz says:
Tricky, too tricky, I’m
bucking the preference, but
could double dactyls get
through all the checks?
Give us a key, as I
know how to test stuff (and
I’ve wanted Monaco
since P. A. X.).
21/09/2012 at 15:54 daphne says:
“Monaco? Heh,” said
the man, rather unimpressed.
“it sure takes its time.”
21/09/2012 at 15:54 coalsand says:
There once was a hacker from Monaco,
Whose skillz for teh h4x was unstoppable.
Once his feet hit the ground
All the cameras went down,
And so did the great heist in Monaco.
21/09/2012 at 15:57 PhocsM says:
Thief in the dark,
Cloaked in gray,
Though steal is thou art,
please fart farther away.
21/09/2012 at 15:57 bin says:
I’d like to pocket one for me and my friends. Hope it comes in time with my new computer.
21/09/2012 at 15:57 UsF says:
I would like a beta key, if you have one to spare. Been following on your main site PocketWatch from the start, but stopped once the information flow stopped. Glad to hear that you are back. If you are hesitant pick someone else, my time right now is rather limited though.
A preorder with beta-access would be fine too.
21/09/2012 at 15:58 deckard says:
Beta keys are given out
Monaco this time around
Andy holds the judge’s hammer
Ready to unleash the slammer!
He wants rhymes to bring him smiles
We want keys to steal the beans!
He is Andy, he makes Monaco.
21/09/2012 at 15:58 avoiderdragon says:
Too long I’ve waited,
How can you forsake me now?
I must play this game.
21/09/2012 at 15:58 gorzan says:
A limerick for you:
There was a young man on the web;
who lacked credit, paypal or whatev’.
His friends used to buy him
some offers from steam,
but for other games, he’d have to beg
21/09/2012 at 15:58 Magnusm1 says:
PC gaming is dying.
21/09/2012 at 15:58 celluz says:
A limerick ey?
This will be trouble
Lets try it this way
With rhyming a’double.
The art of stealing
A mysterious one
Begins with concealing
And ends with a gun.
Stay away from the fight
The dark lets you hide
But when there is light
You’ll be terrified.
Make for the prize
Leave the vault bare
Then with your allies
Vanish into thin air
A key would be sick
For this limerick here
And then for my next trick
Watch me disappear
(Gun and one rhyme)
21/09/2012 at 15:58 PLAPPEH says:
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
give me a key.
NOW.
21/09/2012 at 15:59 One Cold Canuck says:
There’s this great game, Monaco,
It’s the talk of the town, don’t ya know?
If I had a key,
I could steal with glee!
If I didn’t that surely would blow!
21/09/2012 at 16:00 Artist says:
Hear me out: If I dont get a key I will shoot this puppy!
What? You dont care? Imagine this would be your puppy!
Does it make a difference now? Good, so hand me out the key with an unmarked serial number at midnight!
21/09/2012 at 16:01 exodu says:
Elegant design.
I promise to enter bugs.
If any are found.
21/09/2012 at 16:01 NTom64 says:
Monaco – playing in the dead of night
Take these shiny things and learn to fly
‘Cause all my life
My TV was smaller than I really would have liked.
21/09/2012 at 16:01 Deathmaster says:
Haikus to illustrate your self-proclaimed wit? How sad.
Well Andy, just pick me, for I am wittier than the 95% who follow the herd by writing a bloody haiku just because the first sheep did. Oh, right, “please!”.
21/09/2012 at 16:17 dysphemism says:
Calling people sheep
You are a unique snowflake
With rapier wit
21/09/2012 at 16:02 jussipe says:
I took part in a robbery
but I ended up in a shrubbery
at least I didn’t have to jeopardize my willy
this poem turned out be quite silly
21/09/2012 at 16:02 paymentplan says:
Hey Andy I know you wanna let a Cum Sex Succa like me into the closed beta!
21/09/2012 at 16:02 mineshaft says:
There once was an RPS yankee
With a hankerin for heist hankee pankee
So please pause your ruttin
And press the send button
And I’ll go a-thievin and thankee
21/09/2012 at 16:04 dysphemism says:
I’d rather a thief than a beggar be
So let’s ennoble this humble plea
I promise, from here on out
It’s the larceny route
I just need one beta key…
Help a guy down on his luck pull himself up by someone else’s bootstraps?
21/09/2012 at 16:04 JamesBlunt says:
‘ I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful it’s true. ‘
21/09/2012 at 16:05 muther22 says:
If I were to have
a Monaco beta key
I would be gladdened.
21/09/2012 at 16:05 joshjamestaylor says:
Deep, my excitement
Long, I anticipated
A key I require
21/09/2012 at 16:05 tetracycloide says:
A verily the lord spokith unto Andy Schatz, “Be not afraid my child for I come to you with tidings of great joy, today in the comments of Rock, Paper, Shotgun is the commenter tetracycloide and he will be a great boon to your beta test so you should totally give him a beta key why not, verily.” – Book of Beta Chapter 9 Verses 8 to 27
21/09/2012 at 16:05 Radclyffe says:
My theft is discreet
They just handed me a key
Social Engineer
21/09/2012 at 16:06 Shodex says:
Monaco seems great,
Much unlike my poor haiku,
Snuffleupagus.
21/09/2012 at 16:07 popedoo says:
if i was clever,
i’d pull a lever,
which caused my wit
to untether
then i’d be free
to write with glee
and readers would die
from the comedy
i love Garrett,
and shooting a barrett
but my interest in Monaco
is quite disparate
please let me play
so i can relay
my love for the game
such that others may pay
(you money for their copy when its released)
21/09/2012 at 16:07 jerbatim says:
Without Monaco
There is no room for loving
This true comment wins
21/09/2012 at 16:07 abandonhope says:
Light and dark make for
Some really cool mechanics
Shadows in the Woods
21/09/2012 at 16:07 coveleski says:
Monaco says “What’s yours is mine”.
So give me a key. Before I take it from you.
21/09/2012 at 16:08 tumbleworld says:
There once was a man from Nantucket,
But he was a vile degenerate.
Monaco looks lovely.
Good luck with the beta.
I do actually rather like limericks.
Back to Guild Wars 2!
21/09/2012 at 16:08 DiGi says:
From the View of God or bird,
I want to be first and not third!
With my friends I do big boom bang,
and we are able to break any bank!
With my courage I cross any line,
remember: what´s yours is always mine!
21/09/2012 at 16:09 pharaohwizard says:
I don’t always try to pull out some history on something like this but I did give you a bottle to booze at the 2011 PAX for being my favourite game 2 years running.
I still can’t wait to just have this game and learn some strategy instead of just the running around like lunatics.
21/09/2012 at 17:48 AndySchatz says:
Oh man, well I have to follow my own rules on this one and pick the poets! BUT, I’ll be adding more soon, message me on twitter or something and I’ll add you to the next round.
21/09/2012 at 16:14 Viper50BMG says:
I’d love a game about thievin’,
So a beta key you’ll be leavin’.
We’ll get in and get out,
With no messing about,
Whilst a whole ton of loot be Achievin’!
21/09/2012 at 16:14 Acaz says:
There once was a young man named Andy,
Who, at programming, really was handy,
He’s made this great game,
And received some fame,
It’s finally in beta! How dandy!
21/09/2012 at 16:16 StaphiX says:
All right stop!,
Collaborate and Listen,
Shatz is Back with a sweet propostion,
Suddenly! I’m asking him nicely,
Let me play monaco daily and nightly!
Will I get In?
Yo, I don’t know?
So what if he’s not Jonathan Blow!
Been waiting to play so long its hard to handle,
Let me wax those french chumps like a candle?
21/09/2012 at 16:17 agrabren says:
This is me,
On my knees,
Begging Please,
For a key.
To sneak around,
The cops abound,
Without a sound,
My theft, profound.
My crime complete
Of traps I beat
No witnesses found
Or heard a sound
Crept in my playa
Onto the beta
21/09/2012 at 16:17 Malkara says:
I shall have no shame
performing like a monkey
in hope of a key.
21/09/2012 at 16:18 Pluot says:
There once was a thief debonair,
who stole on a heist an eclair-
when finally caught,
he had a great thought,
and ate he the whole damn affair.
21/09/2012 at 16:19 Coccyx says:
Stealing, co-op wealth
Rich, yet value in taking
Not in the taken
21/09/2012 at 16:19 celozzip says:
i’m not entering the contest, but is there a due date in mind? christmas maybe? on steam perhaps??
21/09/2012 at 16:21 Korveker says:
I refuse to do a poem,
This guy I don’t know him,
If I get into the beta,
We’ll be besties for eva.
What’s his shall be mine,
Just give it some time…
… crap.
21/09/2012 at 16:21 suavemike says:
Locksmith, Pickpocket
Lookout, Hacker,Gentlemen
Hacker, Cleaner, Mole
21/09/2012 at 16:22 Jakkar says:
There once was a game-dev named Andy,
Whose work made me terribly randy,
With a zebra or lion, or a hippo named Brian,
My Venture was unusually sandy.
Upon Venturing up to the Arctic, however,
desires ‘came somewhat anarchic, though clever,
I mounted a bear – how the Inuit stared!
.. and my passport was stamped ‘Again? NEVER.’.
Accused and arraigned, my reputation stained.
Retreat is my only recourse …
To Monaco flee, before Greenpeace catch me!
Or find out what I did to that horse…
… so Pocketwatch Games, Mister Schatz! in a name -
Be heroic? Grant me sanctuary?
From those who don’t understand – the need of a man,
to show love for creatures that are hairy D:
TL;DR? In other words I will publically debase myself for the chance to help test your game. I’ve been rather sad at the Monacosilence in recent months – had I the equipment at the time I’d have submitted some voice samples when you were seeking actors – last year I think?
I want to contribute something at least – yes, I’m entirely selfless. Me, want to play Monaco early? Perish the thought. I’m just a really nice person. *cough*
21/09/2012 at 16:49 Jakkar says:
Or in pop-tastic audio form. Must get real microphone.
http://kiwi6.com/file/zd48q07a7t D:
21/09/2012 at 16:23 Gnashy says:
Red autumn sun floats above
bleak mountain vistas
key unlocks the constrained soul
Locksmith steals into Redheads room
As the Prowler slips on Fruit of the Looms
Hacker and Cleaner peep as things heat up
While Gentleman and Rat sip from their cup
And the excited Muscle explodes with a boom.
21/09/2012 at 16:24 Stinkfinger75 says:
Consults pocketwatch
Closed beta here, key pilfered
Monaco is mine
21/09/2012 at 16:24 zemerson says:
Monaco should be mine
For it to not would be a worse crime
So if I get to play, oh baby, then that’s
awesome cause Andy is the Schatz.
21/09/2012 at 16:25 RustedApple says:
I will faint for sure
If a key is given to me
21/09/2012 at 16:28 grandmastersmash says:
Monaco is sweet
I want to eat some chicken
Rainbow disco meat
21/09/2012 at 16:30 Glycerine says:
To be given a Monaco key,
oh would indubitably be,
more bit.trip than runner,
more sunny than summer,
and more heisty and feisty than VVVVV.
21/09/2012 at 16:31 fearghaill says:
At end of day one I was mourning,
for a heist cut short with scant warning
for a game unreleased
at the PAX in the east
I returned to the booth in the morning
21/09/2012 at 16:32 dark4k says:
I am very excited for Monaco
just continue to read and I’ll show
You can steal
And shoot
But don’t make a deal
Take your own loot
You can steal from banks
And rob the bars
Be careful of the shanks
And be sure to have a getaway car
This is the end for now
I suppose I’ll take a bow
21/09/2012 at 16:33 grifta67 says:
Cleaner, Redhead, Locksmith, Mole
Empty the vault, fill your bag whole.
Gentleman, Hacker, Hobo go!
Grab the loot, then stay down low.
21/09/2012 at 16:35 Luringen says:
Monaco Monaco
Monaco Monaco Monaco
Monaco Monaco
:D
21/09/2012 at 16:35 Javier says:
“Give me ma own key
Or I promise thee, taffer
I’ll pirate this piece”
- The Web Buccaneer Book of Tenets.
21/09/2012 at 16:36 Mammux says:
If I get into the closed beta I will buy my son the dog he always wanted.
-Magnus
21/09/2012 at 16:37 tobecooper says:
((after William Carlos Williams))
This is just to say
I haven’t played
the game
that is in
the beta
and which
you are probably
saving for
the launch
Forgive me,
it looks delicious
so sweet
and so cool
21/09/2012 at 16:38 KodeAndGame says:
Eye on Monaco
Long time in making surely
Beta would end wait
21/09/2012 at 16:41 brkl says:
I think I bought this game. But I can’t remember anymore.
21/09/2012 at 16:41 eKap says:
I met you at PAXE
Played the game with you and Jer
Would love to play more
I got a pic next to your booth, too:
http://imgur.com/x7h14
21/09/2012 at 16:44 flyonward says:
Very closed beta? What a steal!
21/09/2012 at 16:45 The Random One says:
What is all the poetry? Where is the pun thread?
The second there’s a prize on the line, you guys forget The RPS True Way! You complete sellouts!
Well, I’ll fix that. I want Monaco, and then… uh… I’ll want even mo’ naco! Yeah, that’s the ticket. Bloody brilliant that one was.
21/09/2012 at 16:45 chromeshelter says:
fck it, just gimme the key! ty
21/09/2012 at 16:46 juliangindi says:
Been waiting so long…
Today I turn twenty two
Best present ever
21/09/2012 at 16:46 jennyinstereo says:
Hi, my name is Jen
My fiance loves this game;
Wants a beta key
We like to haiku
We wrote them for each other
Before we dated
The love of my life,
I’d do anything for him;
Write haikus all day
If I get a key,
I’ll give it to him, for sure.
Monaco 4 Lyfe!
21/09/2012 at 16:46 SurprisedMan says:
Were Monaco, say, sunken booty,
And I a sea captain, my duty
Would be very clear,
So give the key here,
And I’ll set sail forthwith, me ol’ beauty.
21/09/2012 at 16:49 erikfredner says:
To steal?
To die?
To steal perchance to die?
21/09/2012 at 16:49 dartt says:
Please may I have a beta key?
I should Monaco-co!
My need has been increasing great-er-ly.
I should Monaco-co!
No keys have been forthcoming late-er-ly
I should Monaco-co!
Denying me might wound me fatally!
You can Monaco-co!
21/09/2012 at 16:49 tporter64 says:
A free copy of Monaco would be hot!
Its a game that I would anyways have bought
Oh, its just a closed beta
To collect user data
A. Schatz, I’ll give it a shot…s
21/09/2012 at 16:51 Vexing Vision says:
The cherry trees bloom
As theft and murder surrounds!
A loyal guard dies.
21/09/2012 at 16:51 ThatCRUSTACEAN says:
I’ll throw my hat in the ring
I hope soon I’ll be heisting
Til then I can dream
This poem you will deem
… Worthy.
21/09/2012 at 16:52 riddles says:
Yay! I saw it at PAX, it looks AMAZING! I’d love to be in the beta, but either way, well done, guys!
21/09/2012 at 16:55 Calitar says:
If I get a key
I will steal all the things
It sounds pretty sweet
21/09/2012 at 16:56 Jams O'Donnell says:
(almost-limerick)
I once did a job in Monaco,
A great big heist in a grand chateaux.
I plotted and planned
and broke in with a band
and three other friends from the barrio.
At first we didn’t think we could do it
But I held on to my lucky bullet
and I sneaked and I stalked
(not a single guard squawked)
and we left with our lives and our pallet [of cash or gold bullion or whatever because screw you restrictive verse pattern]
21/09/2012 at 16:57 MajstorCadu says:
Oh you nice person (who is makeing selection) with enormous manhood, please choose me so I can be awesome too, and rock and roll all night!
21/09/2012 at 16:57 captainsteve says:
Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
I’m reading Fight Club
21/09/2012 at 16:58 Ironclad says:
*may be of horrible quality*
two bumbling thieves walk into a casino
looking for loot,
they were from Greensboro,
and had the intelligence of a newt.
Entering the vault,
they find ‘t was for naught
it wasn’t their fault
they didn’t get caught
an empty room before them
suddenly a *thud*
the guards would soon find
Garrett’s blackjack still finds its mark.
21/09/2012 at 16:59 ScsiOverdrive says:
Moving shadows
Dancing brightly
Obscure my vision
Balance rightly
My chance to see
The coming guards
Shadows blind me
To where they are
21/09/2012 at 17:04 tyler2790 says:
There once was a small indie game
with some critical acclaim
I played it a bit
and i have to admit
it’s going to be in a hall of fame
21/09/2012 at 17:04 Telasro says:
There once was a game called Monaco
Which was really announced quite long ago
With great loot galore
The beta wouldn’t bore
It’s a place I’d very much like to go
21/09/2012 at 17:07 mrdaley says:
I Wait – Percolate.
Eyes Bloodshot, Itching Triggers.
Need Monaco Fix!
21/09/2012 at 17:08 heavyness says:
Get In. Get Out. Get Beta Keys.
Thanks.
21/09/2012 at 17:08 Zeno says:
A key for me please
So that I might rightly say
“Monaco Is Mine”
21/09/2012 at 17:09 Swanny says:
Reply fail
21/09/2012 at 17:09 hemmingjay says:
Urgent:
Reading this is extremely important. While I have your attention here you can rest assured that my friends and I are breaking in to the office safe and removing a beta key right now. All is not lost for you though, we shall leave you a tasty cake to console your loss.
-Hemmingjay
21/09/2012 at 17:10 Swanny says:
Three hundred replies
Seems to me a crab bucket
This post sighs gently
21/09/2012 at 17:11 Hairball says:
I suck at Haikus,
But Monaco looks damn cool!
Refrigerator.
21/09/2012 at 18:36 Jesse L says:
A powerful deconstruction of the form!
21/09/2012 at 17:11 Wonkyth says:
Now here’s a fine, eager proponent,
I’ve awaited — with fervour — this moment!
Now does that quip rhyme?
well, I wont bet a dime,
but perhaps I can be an exponent.
Introductions! My name is Tobias,
although much against it I’m biased,
so I’d thank to be called
simply Toby, that’s all,
Call me that and my praise shall be highest.
I come from a land called Down Under,
from the rest of the world we’re asunder.
As such, we are forced
to use every resource;
Can we find entertainment, you wonder?
That rhetorical statement is fast lame.
The answer is simple: we play fun games!
From within and abroad
fun creations are scored;
it’s no wonder such things are of fame!
I myself have been found with games dabbling,
sometimes working alone, else collabbing.
While my efforts aren’t fruitless,
it would seem my astuteness
fast implodes to inane, senseless babbling.
So I work at applying my skills
to assessing and testing all builds
within reach of my hand,
for so many are grand,
although some are laden with frills.
As for your game, please do comprehend,
for Monaco my heart does extend.
I may play a great many
and I spend a good penny
I’m drawn to Monaco in the end.
“Do you have prior experience?” you query.
I reply “I test all games most dearly!
I play-test for many,
from Dave Gilbert through Geti,
and I give them results… or in theory.”
There are times when I must study foremost,
and my frequent, fond, gaming is almost
put aside quite entirely
when my grades doth require me;
much needed, most painful riposte. :(
Am I eager? By this point, self evident!
Of your test-team please make me a resident.
I would love to say more,
but I fear I’m a bore.
God, I hope that one day you’re the President! :D
21/09/2012 at 17:14 AndySchatz says:
OK, yeah, that’s a winner. :)
21/09/2012 at 17:36 Wonkyth says:
Good Sir, you’re most kind!
I pledge you both time and mind,
a break from the grind.
May I serve you well,
from the first chime, to end bell,
else I burn in hell.
…Might I simply ask:
Have you a strong taste for verse,
or is this just misc?
21/09/2012 at 22:36 AndySchatz says:
Aw shoot, I accidentally left you off the list of winners. Email support at pocketwatch games dot com and I’ll get you in!
21/09/2012 at 17:19 BTA says:
Monaco Mona
Co Monaco Monaco
Monaco please, sir
21/09/2012 at 17:21 DeliriumWartner says:
A dev crew were making a game,
It wasn’t because of the fame.
The concept was stealing
And I had a feeling
I buy it when the opportunity came.
And now for a haiku:
Coruscating view,
The Heist wrote miniature,
This game stole my heart.
21/09/2012 at 17:25 Ezekyel says:
Hello Andy Schatz !
I’m really looking forward your classy, shiny and awesome game, and hope to have have a beta key :D
I’m not gonna say I’m amazing, I’m like everyone else,
But be aware that if you don’t give me a key, I’ll have to steal one in your HQ ! >:))
21/09/2012 at 17:25 Chad says:
Monaco says, what’s yours is mine,
a beta key, that would be fine.
So give me one for some test,
this amazing game will do the rest.
Picking me would be no crime,
because for testing I have some time.
A buggy game that is the horror,
helping you would be a honor.
21/09/2012 at 17:28 lalanl says:
Monaco Beta?
Take this. Keep your eyes open.
We’re cracking the vault.
Footsteps approaching!
Stethoscope don’t fail me now!
I’m In! Shh! This way!
To pull off this heist,
You’ll need my sneaky fingers!
Monaco is mine.
21/09/2012 at 17:29 sparkinson says:
Five syllables here
Seven more syllables there
Can I haz beta?
21/09/2012 at 17:31 Dan Puzey says:
There once was a game called Monaco
Beta keys were ever so tight, so
I made up this rhyme
To win one in time
That I don’t go insane from the wait – oh!
21/09/2012 at 17:31 Deman says:
Memememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememe
21/09/2012 at 17:32 CaptainFelafel says:
For your amusement
A haiku for Monaco
I ran out of lines.
21/09/2012 at 17:34 wlashack says:
I can attract, I can harm,
I am a hobo, but with a charm.
A redhead hacker,
but gentle and clean,
a lookout mole
that knows no spleen.
I can get in, i can get out,
and then get rich, without any doubt!
So you got an offer?
I got a deal!
Gimme your code
before I steal!
Admit the truth,
accept it, be clever.
Because what yours was
now mine is forever.
21/09/2012 at 17:36 iomegadrive says:
Hone my skills I need
Reverse the fortune of friends
Whom pillaged from me.
21/09/2012 at 17:38 satoru says:
I want Monaco
Beta Keys I will steal them
From your murdered corpse
21/09/2012 at 17:40 AleKahpwn says:
So, it’s ten commenters from this thread?
All knitters of words, and smart in the head.
But if they don’t watch their back
I sneak up! They yell, “ACK!”
Snickity snak, I stand!… they bed.
21/09/2012 at 17:41 Vagrant says:
Play game at pax prime
with four friends did I enjoy
beta keys now please
21/09/2012 at 17:41 lHloopla says:
Austin Wintory’s beats I crave
As we enter the vault guns ablazed
The guards we leave dazed
21/09/2012 at 17:42 TAPETRVE says:
A sonnet it shall be:
O, Monaco, home to noble snots and wealthy bitches!
It’s only right that someone comes to take
Away from all the cornucopia, and make
it eas’ier for them toffs to bear their filthy riches.
A merry band of four, to plot a heist thus came together,
Each one a gifted master of his trade.
Their hate for silken suits and dresses of brocade
And pearls and diamond rings, was fuelled by beer and blether.
“We’re thieves, not murderers, so leave at home your knives,”
One of them spoke, “The goal be gold, and not their sorry lives.”
‘Twas also found that they might actually need a fifth man,
Who would survey the compound and drive the getaway van.
Now that is, where my humble self comes into play:
I’d gladly take part in the closed Beta, If I may.
21/09/2012 at 17:44 Kahboom says:
Thief meets PacMan?
21/09/2012 at 17:45 lHloopla says:
The roof or the cave
That is the age old question today
Extraction commesse Hooray
21/09/2012 at 17:47 lHloopla says:
Youtube videos I make
Looting banks is what I crave
Exiting through the cave
21/09/2012 at 17:49 Wraiths says:
Roes are Red
Violets are blue
Monaco is in beta
Let me in too
21/09/2012 at 17:49 evilpancakes says:
I cant wait for this to come out!
21/09/2012 at 17:50 lHloopla says:
Andy, Austin heist later today
I will be the best lookout
Success is on the way
21/09/2012 at 17:50 Fata1raccoon says:
I made an account just for this key.
Will I get it? I guess we will see.
There’s comments for six pages
Monaco’s been in production for ages
When it comes out I will jump with glee!
And Bonus Haiku!
What’s yours is now mine
A Hobo with a shotgun
Monkey, grab the loot.
21/09/2012 at 17:50 phort99 says:
I have a trained monkey.
He will steal all your riches
and dance on your head.
21/09/2012 at 17:52 Immortal68 says:
I may not be Shakespeare, Kafka, or Poe
And my words may not be of power
But I would defeat the mightiest foe
Without fear climb the highest tower
In order to win
This battle I’m in
For this game in its finest hour.
21/09/2012 at 17:53 Naivedo says:
Instead of a clever post, I am going to try for factual. I have tested over 67 video games in the last 17 years. For a more detailed list, check out my LinkedIn profile @ http://www.linkedin.com/in/brycenickel and go to view full profile. I can also send a list of all the video games I have played in my life, including games tested. The testing includes a mix of Alpha; Close, Open, and Stress Tested based Betas; and play testing in-person. I have a lot of experience and for the next three months, I am only working part-time.
21/09/2012 at 18:37 Vesuvius says:
Instructions sometimes
Are important. To test well:
Listen, heed, then act.
21/09/2012 at 17:55 tgunter says:
This Monaco game looked quite funky,
So I thought “I’ll just snag myself one key”,
I hired some twins,
To help break my way in,
But in the end I just needed a monkey.
21/09/2012 at 17:57 Dorga says:
There once was a thief in the casino
That got caught by a a guard;
But he quickly hid in a plant
and so the guard couldn’t pay the rent
21/09/2012 at 17:59 Inglourious Badger says:
There was a young man, Antonio,
Who wanted to play Monaco,
But lacking a key,
Took up thievery,
And now he is in Jail-y-oh.
D’oh!
21/09/2012 at 18:01 AndySchatz says:
Hey all, I’m cutting it off now, trying to narrow my list down from my 17 favorites :)
21/09/2012 at 19:56 VanishedDecoy says:
I received the call,
but was apparently late…
Oh confound it all!
21/09/2012 at 18:03 Hodge says:
To a budding ballerina from Belgetta,
where the boldened bounders bid her home to bed her,
a buttered batter blin
would be brilliant to begin
but a bally burglar beta would be better.
EDIT: Gah. Timing, eh?
21/09/2012 at 18:03 shadowyluke says:
Hey! This game looks amazing… mind if I join in and help to make it better? :D
21/09/2012 at 18:11 Cosmonaut Zero says:
Peeing your way out,
They’re on your tail so hurry.
Feature. Not a bug.
(I was in the group at PAX last year who blew a hole through the bathroom wall right behind a toilet. You had to “use” the toilet for like 30 seconds, and then it would put you on top of it, and you could step off either direction. We used it as our entrance, got the stuff and went to leave the same way. We stumbled onto some guards just outside the bathroom. So my final memory of Monaco is our whole crew frantically peeing into the same toilet with guards running around trying to find us.)
EDIT: Aw, timing. I shouldn’t have appended my entire life story, apparently.)
21/09/2012 at 19:32 AndySchatz says:
That group was awesome :) I’ll try to get in all our old PAX buddies later, but for now it’s just a lucky fellowship of 10
21/09/2012 at 18:16 Woseseltops says:
If there’s still room for more testers, I would really like to betatest this game as well. I’ve been following it for some time, and it seems great!
21/09/2012 at 18:16 SuffixTreeMonkey says:
English not my first,
my comment lies deep beneath:
this is not my day.
21/09/2012 at 18:22 notminebydesign says:
Born in ’83
Monaco is like Orange Pop
It taste like childhood.
21/09/2012 at 18:22 JBantha says:
Fuck this, I speak Spanish.
Betas are the king of the Danish.
G… I don’t fucking now, this is my sixth attempt of making some kind of rhyme, haiku, or riff. Really, this is tiresome! I don’t know what else to do! I should… yeah!
RPS is red,
The first hacker is blue.
You give me the beta
and I’ll like you!
Thanks.
21/09/2012 at 18:23 Aramax says:
The old gamer looked away
Desperate for some new gadget to bring joy!
Found gaming for the first time again
21/09/2012 at 18:27 JoeX111 says:
The walls closing in
She points a gun at my heart
Seconds tick away
21/09/2012 at 18:29 TazzGo says:
Bored at work.
Hear a bang.
The building shook
Another clang!
Shaken and stirred
Peer out the window
See not even a bird
Only a shadow
A dark shape moves
Carrying a sack
Looks like a stooge
Under all that burlap
Sirens roll in fast
As the thief vanishes into the gloom
The blue and red cast
They search the vacant left by the boom
They look all over, its a real test
No sign of the monaco keys
Taken by the best
All he left was some stale cheese
After the commotion
I return to my station
Finding something better than a promotion
A beta key from the break in!
(Please excuse typos, done from my phone!)
21/09/2012 at 18:31 hnk says:
My addiction can’t
be easily subdued by
a trailer alone!
21/09/2012 at 18:32 Leandro says:
There once was a man from Brazil
A gentleman’s heart, nerves of steel
He wanted a key
He’s your guy, you see
He already knows how to steal
21/09/2012 at 18:33 Vesuvius says:
Ghosted Thief, Hitman
Deus Ex and A.P.
Love the stealth genre
Sneak, Hack, Run, Hide, Steal
The loot was far too tempting
Spotted! Run for it!
21/09/2012 at 18:39 godfatherbrak says:
There once was a teacher from the plain
who had some students who drove him insane
it was his not to shoot, but to pick up the loot
or on monday, he might act the same.
21/09/2012 at 18:41 iisjreg says:
They said I couldn’t do it.
They said it’d be one comment too many.
Well, I’ll show them.
I’ll do it without anybody even realising.
They won’t know what hit ‘em.
This time next year…
21/09/2012 at 18:45 xingped says:
Monaco, the tale of thieves,
Who steal and rob whomever they please.
Get in, get out, get rich they say,
A dangerous game it is to play.
Let us help you that wealth, oh marquise!
21/09/2012 at 18:49 archagon says:
When Monaco did I first see,
I still had a Pentium 3,
Now I’d love to get ‘er,
‘Cause pixels look better,
In glorious 1080p.
~
When Monaco entered this place,
A beard did appear on my face,
And it won’t stop weavin’,
Until I get thievin’,
So please free me from this malaise!
21/09/2012 at 18:50 Cross says:
Monaco looks like a steal, and really quite the spiel.
Riches abound, with a bridge to be found.
This key looks to be it.
Give it up for free, or be held at gunpoint by me.
21/09/2012 at 18:54 Jubaal says:
There once was a tough competition,
To get beta access was the mission.
I needed to show
I was deserving to go,
To Monaco, here’s my submission.
21/09/2012 at 18:59 Jubaal says:
I didn’t realise first of all that it had to be about why i should get a beta key so here is my first failed attempt. Mock away!
There once was a programmer called Andy,
At coding AI he was handy,
He created a game,
To stealth but not maim,
this Monaco looks pretty dandy
21/09/2012 at 19:00 jktechwriter says:
About news of Monaco’s release
The writers at GeekDad want to tease.
We’ve been wanting to steal,
sneak, shoot, and heal.
We’ll even throw in the magic word, please?
21/09/2012 at 19:04 FuzzieBoy says:
Red thief is red,
Blue thief is blue,
Ooh look over there,
Steal of of your money I do.
I see you looking,
I know you’re finding,
But I’m in the shadows,
You will not find me.
If by some chance you do,
It’s not impossible, that’s true,
If by some small chance you do happen to win,
Screw you.
21/09/2012 at 19:15 TechnicalBen says:
How do I write a Haiku?
To win a Beta when I’m desperate too?
With doubt and fear I know not why,
I’ll type it out, I want to try.
So with my application I go,
for the beta to MONACO!
21/09/2012 at 19:17 CaptainBirdsEye says:
Stealth computer games
Have a most proud history
Behold, the greatest:
Thief: The Dark Project
Gave us tension, excitement
And stealing galore
Metal Gear Solid
Brought fun times on Shadow Moses
Smoke showed up lasers
Clancy’s Splinter Cell
Let us stalk through the dark with
Night vision goggles
Hitman: Blood Money
Had disguises, we dragged foes
To an early grave
And now Monaco,
A band of friends plan heists, and
say: What’s Yours Is Mine!
21/09/2012 at 19:20 Amun says:
You can’t get what you had asked.
He said to the poets amassed.
The commenters thought,
And then were distraught,
Because the keys have already been passed!
21/09/2012 at 19:25 Continuities says:
Give me Monaco
Or I will burn your silly
Website to the ground.
21/09/2012 at 19:36 Kamikaze_Tutor says:
I’ve got this problem with games,
I explore without control.
And no geometry stops me
from falling through the world.
For fun I’ll play your game,
I just don’t have much luck.
And you’ll soon find out
if it’s broken as f
21/09/2012 at 19:38 jythanatos says:
Curtains flutter
A Winter breeze steals through the room
All coins, Gone
21/09/2012 at 19:50 MacTheGeek says:
limerick haiku
once was girl from Nantucket
shit, you know the rest
21/09/2012 at 19:51 Iwannagofast123 says:
Been following Monaco for a while, and ive been following and reading RPS for a while. Just now created an account to test my luck at Monaco.
21/09/2012 at 19:55 HatsAlEsman says:
I
do
not
want
poems.
Instead,
pyramids.
21/09/2012 at 19:55 SouperSteve0 says:
Monaco endures?
It has hidden like a theif.
A sneaky bastard.
21/09/2012 at 19:57 CharlO says:
Two tires fly, Two wail.
A bamboo grove, all chopped down
From it, warring songs.
That’s what I think about when I read Haiku.
21/09/2012 at 19:57 Gene Parmesan says:
I am ecstatic.
I want to play Monaco
Refrigerator
21/09/2012 at 19:58 mercurywaters says:
Audio version Here
if i can infiltrate your limelight
with two hands and a flashlight
imagine what amazing feats of prestidigitation
i can evoke in a half life
four more pairs of hands an angle and half a man
could score a hundred fifty grand
and thats a conservative estimate
the overall message is
that i’m the greatest thief
since the cooper gang dewinged that flying metal beast]
or moriarity pickpocted watson in the middle of the street
in other words a beast
monaco’s a natural progression
know the blessing and the curse of the bottom of purse
after its snatched petty thief 22 catched
now i’m back on the block palms full of your stash
four player soothsayer my prediction is this
top down oceans 11′s a definite hit
more clever when the ski masks fitted
keeping the rhythm blackout
keeping it hidden until i cash out
21/09/2012 at 20:04 AndySchatz says:
HOLY SHIT THATS FUCKING AWESOME. Guess we’ll be adding 11 players to the beta. Also, email me at support@ pocketwatch games dot com.
21/09/2012 at 20:06 AndyNguyen says:
That was fucking amazing!
21/09/2012 at 21:01 tomeoftom says:
Hooooooly fuck
22/09/2012 at 15:48 Wonkyth says:
Bravo, sir! :D
22/09/2012 at 17:16 JB says:
Awesome work, merc. A well-deserved win.
22/09/2012 at 17:26 iucounu says:
Amazing. Sounds like Illmatic!
21/09/2012 at 19:58 niasyn says:
Pet monkey,
Do your magic!
Pet monkey!
Stop those bullets!
So tragic.
21/09/2012 at 19:59 sophism says:
She grew up in old Monaco,
But she left the place long, long ago,
Her friend said, “I’ll take ya
With me to Jamaica,”
And so she replied, “Mon, I go.”
Although I’m proud of that one, here’s one that actually references why I want the key:
Hacking is evil
Stealing, a horrible crime
…If not played co-op
21/09/2012 at 20:01 johnki says:
I should get a key,
Because I would like to play,
The game with my family.
Not quite well done, but true. Competitive games are always great family game night games.
21/09/2012 at 20:08 ap0ll0 says:
Monaco oh you
Excite me with beta you
Monaco oh you
21/09/2012 at 20:13 golem09 says:
One for the team,
one for the job,
everyone’s keen,
a heist means to rob.
A ballet of thieves,
a dance to a tune
the owner he grieves,
he is not immune.
Come guard,
come trap,
a camera ahead
No one can stop
the burglar attack.
A ballet of thieves,
I’d dance that tune,
if Andy believes
then I will be soon.
21/09/2012 at 20:25 bkir says:
quit video games
monaco might bring me back
coop crack nuff said
21/09/2012 at 20:33 Eric says:
Simulated theft
Is a joy for all involved.
…Except for the mark.
21/09/2012 at 20:34 Tormodino says:
Be in the hotel bar at 1900 hours.
Greet the elderly bartender with the impeccable Imperial moustache.
Order a stirred dry martini, and tip generously. The bartender will ask about your line of work, and you will reply: “Procurement. It’s more exciting than you think.”
The beta key will be delivered by electronic transfer to your device.
21/09/2012 at 20:55 Dick Page says:
I have taken
the jewels
that were in
the lockbox
and which
you were probably
giving
your bookie
Forgive me
they were beautiful
what is
yours is mine
21/09/2012 at 21:06 virifaux says:
Pronounce out the individual letters in the commands and parameters
>ls -la /yours
>mv /yours/monaco /mine
>vi /yours/lovenote
Browsing for some pretty nice poems, I happened across zapdsl, a fellow veteran SpyPartier with at least 5 more wins than I.
21/09/2012 at 21:12 ShineyBlueShoes says:
Vault sealed, shut tight
Dark, chaos, panic, subterfuge
This line now missing
21/09/2012 at 21:40 Cloudie says:
Can’t wait until this game is released.
21/09/2012 at 21:45 23YearOldBedWetr says:
please let me play ur RAD game!
||| ///||| ||||||||||| ||| ||| /// ///|||||| |||||||||||
||| /// ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ///__ ||| ||| |||
||| ||| ||||||||||| ||| ||| /// ||||||| |||||||||||
|||||
||||| ||
//===||||||||||||||||===//
“ |||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||
||| |||,
// |||
‘- –^
$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$$$$$
$$__$$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$
$$—$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$$$$$$
$$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$$ $$
$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$$$$,
$$ $$ $$ $ $ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$ $$ $$
$$___$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ ”$$
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$$$$$
| |
$$$$$$$ $$ $$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$ $$$$ $$$$
$$ $$__$$ $$ $$___$ $$ $$ $$___$ $$| |
$$ $$—$$ $$ $$””””” $$ $$ $$””””” | |$$
$$ $$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$
| |
This used to be ascii art, but
Someone stole all my spaces!
21/09/2012 at 21:52 virifaux says:
‘ ‘
‘ ‘
‘ ‘
Here are your spaces
Except someone stole them too
It was a haiku :(
21/09/2012 at 21:56 Vermilious says:
You may talk o’guns and beer
While you’re seated safe out here
and you’re sent to BF3 or Modern Warfare
But when it comes to stealing
You’ll work on fear and feeling
And all that free time you just can’t spare
Now in Chicago’s windy clime
where I used to spend my time
A-reading o’the regal RPS-show
Of all the games I saw
The slickest one of all
Was that indie-beta-darling Monaco
It was Co!Co!Co!
You colorful pop of pacing Monaco
Quickly grab it, stop that camera
Hi! Faster, dig that ditch!
The guard’s coming, not a sitch!
That newly beta-d charmer, Monaco.
With apologies to both Kipling and You, for reading this.
21/09/2012 at 22:06 theLumberJack says:
I will not receive a key
It was not meant to be
For too late
Did I relate
This reply
21/09/2012 at 22:19 SurprisedMan says:
When given the chance to play Monaco
I said “I gave up on it long ago.”
To which Andy sighed,
And promptly replied,
“It’s almost as if you don’t WANna go.”
“I do, but I doubt I can win,”
I said, after glancing herein,
At all of the verse,
Some better; some worse,
“I’m taking this one on the chin.”
“What nonsense!” cried Schatz, the designer,
“This verse, why there is nothing finer,
You shall have a key,
And all here shall see,
You can win by just being a whiner.”
21/09/2012 at 23:13 Ryark says:
Poetry cannot convey
How deeply I wish to convey
a strong desire for Monaco
Therefore I’ll end just like so.
21/09/2012 at 23:29 AndySchatz says:
Hahaha nice rhyme :D
21/09/2012 at 23:19 imaginarythomas says:
Here’s something I’d not tell my wife:
‘This beta would consume my life’.
If I got into the beta,
I’d say ‘See you latah’
That might just cause marital strife…
21/09/2012 at 23:32 limimi says:
I know the preference was for limericks and haikus, but I had fun writing this so :)
Edit: Oh, I now see I was too late. Oh well, I still had fun :)
Marvelous burglars, skills so deft,
Opening vaults with ease.
Never before has there been such a theft,
As every newspaper agrees.
Catching the bandits would be a trial,
Of evidence there was not a trace.
Inquiries were met with naught but denial,
Such was the way of this case.
Maybe they’d be caught next time,
Invading another large vault.
Not likely though for these masters of crime
Every move they make without fault.
22/09/2012 at 01:27 Shockeh says:
Late to the party,
Eight pages? Unlikely odds. :(
Pray what’s yours is mine?
22/09/2012 at 02:22 zilchski says:
Nightwatch assemble!
Bloodstained chase is underfoot
To a ragtime beat.
22/09/2012 at 13:31 savvy1 says:
FFS please gimme a key i wanna go robbing n thieving and not get nicked
22/09/2012 at 13:36 anna.nolla says:
Eight comment pages so far, I’m confident I’ll get to try the game :)
09/10/2012 at 17:26 MrLebanon says:
WHO AR THE WINNERS