Your Daily Weird: Win Michael Jackson’s… Hair?

By John Walker on October 24th, 2012 at 6:00 pm.

Just for the sake of my sanity I'm assuming they're not his pubes.

No thanks.

In what is surely one of the most distasteful (in every respect) promotions I’ve ever seen, Best Online Casino have seen fit to create a Flash game in which you can win – er – a ball containing Michael Jackson’s hair. No, that’s what I said.

It’s described as a “fantastic prize”, which I can only assume is a typo for, “The creepiest, most morbid and unpleasant prize we could think of”. And it’s worth, they claim, $10,000. Because that’s what it went for at auction. Because humanity is spiralling out of control.

So dealing with something as grotesque, yet sensitive, as the hair of a dead man, you’d assume some level of decorum has been embraced. No. As if the concept itself weren’t already pretty gross, the Flash game is an unbelievably lazy, extremely poorly programmed Arkanoid knock-off, in which the bat is replaced by Michael Jackson’s head. A crude caricature of Jackson, wearing a surgical mask, because that’s a thing he did. Because, well, something! I’ll save you the urge to check it out by forgetting to link.

They call it “a unique, $10,000 tribute to the King of Pop”. As someone who never gave a shit about Michael Jackson at any point during his life, nor since it, even I’m managing to find this somewhat unsettling. But mostly just pathetic. Why not enjoy this video of how the roulette ball containing the hair was manufactured?!

The sheer insanity of it is that even if you are some super-weirdo Jackson obsessive, desperate to own something that may or may not have grown out of his body, what you’d get is a tightly welded together roulette ball that may as well contain the secrets to eternal life for all the good it would do you. So on trust you assume that this pointless metal ball contains some hair you can’t see, that there’s no sensible way of verifying ever came from the body of the dead singer.

Would anyone like to win a ping pong ball filled with my snot?

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58 Comments »

  1. Drake Sigar says:

    How was the hair obtained in the first place? Someone do me a solid and go check on MJ’s grave.

  2. lordcooper says:

    What?

  3. Roz says:

    Free $10k?

  4. Oh Tyrone says:

    Hmm.

  5. MOKKA says:

    You can calm down, that’s not Michael Jackson’s hair. It’s from me

  6. pupsikaso says:

    Who gives a crap about this? The less this gets publicized, the less the sponsors will get in return, the less of crap like this happening.

  7. ScubaMonster says:

    How can they prove it? Does it come with its own notarized DNA test? You could take anyone’s hair and say ZOMG IT’S MICHAEL JACKSON’S!!!

  8. Mr. Mister says:

    It seems to me that the only reason to get that is to sell it for even more at eBay.

  9. Lambchops says:

    What next? A golf ball containing one of Jimmy Saville’s testicles?

  10. Eukatheude says:

    From the look of it, it might even be pubic hair. Does that add value?

  11. Splynter says:

    I guess we could call this pedohair?

  12. Henke says:

    That prize is pretty BAD.

  13. matt606 says:

    I didn’t realize it was nightmare day. What else we got lined up?

  14. Eddy9000 says:

    /looks suspiciously at half smoked hand-rolled cigarette, calmly stubs it out.

  15. SkittleDiddler says:

    I would eat it, and then Michael Jackson would become a part of me forever and ever. His DNA would mingle with mine, and I would finally be able to do the Moon Dance properly.

  16. geldonyetich says:

    The winner can attempt to clone Michael Jackson with the DNA in his air, but be warned, there’s a chance the clones will go crazy, jump out of the vat, moonwalk, turn into robots, and otherwise be too thoroughly awesome for containment.

    • Arglebargle says:

      Yep, save it for the coming Clone Days, and sell the boogers to folks who want to raise their own little Michael Jackson.

      Hey, is that some Marilyn Monroe hair there???

  17. manveruppd says:

    Why does she say she’s “been” Kim O’Neill? Who is she now? Or do they wipe her hard drive clean and install another personality after she’s done the video?

  18. abandonhope says:

    James Cameron did not raise the bar high enough, I’m afraid.

  19. lazy8 says:

    The important question is: how do I get my hands on a pingpong ball filled with John Walker’s snot?

  20. dethtoll says:

    > about to say something, finger in the air
    > audibly slam jaw shut
    > walk away, finger still in the air

  21. Xaromir says:

    They removed it from Macaulay Culkin’s underwear, found at MJ’s place after he passed away.

  22. Dances to Podcasts says:

    This reminds me of relic, though I wonder what church would consider Michael Jackson a saint.

    (Yes, the catholic pedo jokes write themselves.)

  23. ProtoMan says:

    Breaking news:
    Mad Scientist uses Michael Jackson hair, obtained from a roulette ball, to serenade humanity with his army of Jacksons.
    God can’t save us now…

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