Frog Fractions Might Be The Greatest Game Of All Time

By Nathan Grayson on October 25th, 2012 at 9:00 am.

Presented without comment.

I’m desperately ill right now. Maybe that’s why I find Frog Fractions – an edutainment game spoof that’s far, far, far, far, far, far more than it seems – so hilarious. It’s very difficult to discuss much of it without spoiling the bounty of… knowledge it aims to impart unto the universe, but I’ll do my best. I’ll keep things pure for front-pagers, though, and take it past the break – aka, the place where innocence is lost.

Frog Fractions begins as a simple bug-eating, fruit-defending thing, so I initially didn’t get what all the fuss was about. And then I installed lock-on targeting. In a frog. Soon, I was riding atop one of those dragons you see in Chinese New Year festival parades. After that, well, let me just put it this way: it is possible to afford Chinese New Year festival dragon warp drive. You just have to think outside the box. Once you’ve managed that, Frog Fractions actually begins.

HERE IS THE PART YOU SHOULD PLAY INSTEAD OF READING ABOUT. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. 

The ensuing journey led my amphibious antihero across the grand expanses of time, space, bizarre dialog choices, art game parodies, text adventures, Dance Dance Revolution, and just about anything else you (and presumably, its creators) can think of. If you put Frog Fractions under a microscope, its DNA would be made up of kitchen sinks.

So go! Play it! It’s super ambitious and trippy and dumb and brilliant. Also, free. And eventually, there’s even a part where you kind of need to understand a little bit of math. They really thought of everything, huh?

 

, , .

64 Comments »

  1. The Godzilla Hunter says:

    It is not just your fever-addled state that caused you to think it was amazing. I unfortunately could not get past the text adventure.

    • The Godzilla Hunter says:

      No wait, I was finally able to solve that puzzle. Now I am a human. Oh dear.

    • Premium User Badge

      tumbleworld says:

      Edutaintment has never been finer than this. Never.

      No, the middle t is not an accident.

  2. Trashcanman says:

    After finding a gargantuan pile of fruit on the bottom I flew to Mars, was made a citizen, then went down the hole to find a spaceship after which the game turned into a text adventure. Goddamn acid flashbacks man.

    • Premium User Badge

      DeVadder says:

      You have seen nothing. Nothing!
      The end is the best. Those bugs will never bother our fruits again!

    • Baines says:

      I never got to the text adventure part. The underwater maze thing was going on way too long, so I quit. Maybe someone will do a Let’s Play on YouTube.

      • fiskmeshi says:

        Indie Games for Good played it last Saturday. If you want to watch, it’s on this video at about 5:00 in. I’d really recommend just giving it another shot, though. There’s a chapter select, so you should be able to jump right back to the last part you played.

  3. jussipe says:

    Fruits for nothing and your frogs for free!

    • ninjapirate says:

      That’s the way you do it.

    • f1x says:

      Custom kitchen deliveries

      • President Weasel says:

        What’s that? Hawaiian noises?

        but seriously folks, this is the best game.

        • Premium User Badge

          corinoco says:

          Reading this article made me lose my can of energy drink. A shame because I think there was something on the inside of the can about this game too.

          I want my,
          I want my,
          I want my empty V

  4. xsoulbrothax says:

    this thing… it IS. i’m telling you, it definitely is. :D

    i take such pleasure in having no idea wtf

  5. sabrage says:

    That was pretty fantastic… Petered out a bit at the end there, though.

    I’d also like to note that that was the first text adventure I’ve ever been able to finish.

    • Caenorhabditis says:

      Damn that wire! What to do?

      • The Godzilla Hunter says:

        You need to remove the “out of order” sign on the machine. It should be pretty obvious from there.

        • Synesthesia says:

          ok, i can see the wire, there is goop floating, i got the money. How do i fix the damn wire? That’ll fix the annoying perfume alarm, wont it? Help! I always get stuck at text adventures.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      ‘m too stupid because I’m stuck there. What the hell am I supposed to do?

      • JuJuCam says:

        Text adventure rule of thumb: when in doubt, try picking up everything!

        • Xardas Kane says:

          I was actually stuck right at the beginning. Every time I wrote “look” somehow I missed the part about there being a ladder. After acknowledging its existence it’s been a breeze.

          I told you I am stupid.

          • Avish says:

            The point of a well designed adventure game is to make you feel stupid.
            Text adventures are the worst (and the best) kind.

      • Gingerdreadman says:

        Please help, can’t figure out how to change destination to bug mars. Would love to see the rest of this game :)
        Thanks in advance

        • Avish says:

          look in the nightstand’s drawer near the sleeping pod.

          • Gingerdreadman says:

            Yay, thanks. Somehow didn’t notice nightstand at all. Now I can get back to work…

  6. godzillasushi says:

    i love me some bug porn!

    great game :P

  7. kadeton says:

    My successor is going to have to deal with a lot of inflation.

    • Premium User Badge

      DeVadder says:

      I only needed to print new money once, after i forgot the zeros on the prize and sold my MB for 20 Zorkmids instead of 20.000.

      • Premium User Badge

        drewski says:

        Yeah, my warehouse burned down after I spent all but 10 zorknids, so I had no stock to sell.

        Unlucky, future president.

  8. Didero says:

    Did the last half of the game have no sound at all or did Flash somehow crap out on me?
    The ‘voices’ part makes me think it’s the latter…

    Otherwise, pretty fun.

  9. Ian says:

    I… erm, but… what….. why did………. how does…….

    Hmm.

    Yes.

  10. phelix says:

    The bug trial on mars was utterly brilliant.

    EDIT: How do I fix that wire in the engine room? It’s holding up the whole bloody story!

    • Avish says:

      I got stuck on that part too, until I realized there is a machine in the room.

      • phelix says:

        Already been there. All I need to do before going to sleep is fix the wire, because ‘I can’t sleep safely if the wire might cause a fire’, or so the text says.

        EDIT: NVM! Thanks!

    • Caenorhabditis says:

      Stuck there too, I want to go to sleep! A subtle hint would be jolly good.

      Edit: Ah, thanks!

    • arccos says:

      I got stressed that I could somehow lose the trial. I really wanted a bug lawyer.

  11. Premium User Badge

    Morph says:

    I know so much about fractions now. And bug porn.

    • Avish says:

      And about how governments work! (Give the people cheap porn and get as much money as you can from the federal reserve. )

      • Phantoon says:

        I painted nine billion zorkmids and produced NO porn at all.

        Best bug president.

  12. McDan says:

    Amazeballs. What a game.

    • McDan says:

      Ok, I now have no idea what’s going on, I have like a billion fruit and I”m in underwater caves on mars. I love this game

  13. apocraphyn says:

    Ahaha, that was brilliantly wacky fun. Thanks, Nathan!

  14. westyfield says:

    Bugger. The moment I got the turtle I discovered that I could no longer play, as my crappy laptop mousepad doesn’t work if you’re pressing a key at the same time.

    • snv says:

      That behaviour is intentional so that you don’t accidentally move your cursor while you type.
      You can switch that off in your mouse settings.

  15. Premium User Badge

    drewski says:

    Best game I’ve played this week.

  16. S Jay says:

    I did not get the joke, could not buy the warp drive.

    EDIT: oh man, what an acid trip this was

    • Xardas Kane says:

      Try going underwater.

    • f1x says:

      Yeah I was like that aswell, and thought that I was being trolled,

      everything was a big internet conspiration to make me look dumb, then I found my way, and LOL

  17. iwionbsf says:

    ONLINE STORE :

    http://l2y.eu/dddCs

    Best online store

    Best quality, Best reputation , Best services

    —**** NHL Jersey Woman $ 40 —**** NFL Jersey $ 35

    —**** NBA Jersey $ 34 —**** MLB Jersey $ 35

    —**** Jordan Six Ring_m $ 36 —**** Air Yeezy_m $ 45

    —**** T-Shirt_m $ 25 —**** Jacket_m $ 36

    —**** Hoody_m $ 50 —**** Manicure Set $ 20

    —**** handbag $ 37 —**** ugg boot $ 43 —****

    —**** sunglass $ 16 —**** bult $ 17 —****

    http://l2y.eu/dddCs

  18. Feferuco says:

    So I was totally stuck on the text adventure part and I suppose other people might be dumb like me so here’s the first walkthrough to frog fraction, don’t read or get spoiled

    So yeah I don’t remember much but first thing you have to do once you take the dragon is swim down from there things will flow until you hit the text adventure.

    BTW hit the arms of the robot and on the maze part just keep going down, down, down, then you’ll find a sculpted cave, go right a bit and then keep going down. Shouldn’t be hard, just slow.

    Anyway, text adventure: climb the ladder, look nightstand, open drawer, read manual, take the rug, enter hatch (maybe open it first), look hole, take the can, look machine, remove paper, take electrical tape, place the can by the spigot or something, push lever, push button, push lever, take zorkmids (not sure if actually necessary), take can (again not sure if needed), look hole, use electrical tape on wire (or something) enter hatch, climb ladder, look display, select new coordinates (or something), sleep, use can, sleep.

    For extra points type fuck me. You’ll totally need those points.

    I think that covers it.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      I tried fucking the machine. Apparently not my type.

      • MikoSquiz says:

        I got 1.5 points (well, three halves of a point) for attempting to fuck myself.

  19. Mr Labbes says:

    But what’s in the gift boxes??

  20. Tei says:

    I am stuck at the text game… oh, I accidentally reloaded the page.

    • theloz says:

      Me too. I will never see the ending now. Shame.

      • The Dark One says:

        I can’t believe they were able to license that Rage Against the Machine song for the credits!

      • gorzan says:

        There is a chapter selection screen, so you should go there and continue from the start of the text adventure.

  21. soundofsatellites says:

    ohgodbugseverywhere

  22. Premium User Badge

    Rikard Peterson says:

    I was surprised by the level of polish of the text adventure part, considering that this is a flash game. I’ve seen much worse entered in the annual IF Competition.

  23. Skabooga says:

    Haha! Delightfully absurd. And they even managed to fit in a subtle Star Control 2/Ur-Quan Masters reference in the text adventure part, which put a smile on my face.

  24. PleasingFungus says:

    I spent nearly half an hour on the ‘unlock auto-aim / remove-auto-aim’ nonsense before I thought of swimming down.

    I still hadn’t unlocked the whole conversation.

    This game, man.

  25. realitysconcierge says:

    I can’t believe I didn’t play this sooner.

  26. Geen says:

    This game is the best game. Hands, legs, and tentacles down.