I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I was a rock. What would I do if someone stepped on me? How would I wear my moss? Which historical art period would I most enjoy bulldozing if it were tastefully reimagined with a few extra elephants running amok? To its credit, ACE Team’s Rock of Ages does its best to simulate all concerns relevant to aspiring modern/post-modern rocks of all ages. It’s also very, very silly. No, the first (and to my knowledge, only) entry in the slowly-wear-down-artistically-themed-fortresses-with-upgradeable-boulders genre isn’t perfect, but its charms are undeniable. Plus, ACE Team’s still supporting it, and this weekend, you can try out the fruits of their labor for free.
The latest Rock of Ages update centers around multiplayer, and – as such – that’s the part of the game that’s free on Steam. The rest, however, happens to be 75 percent off at the moment, which means it’s a mere $2.49 more than free. That’s only expensive if you live exclusively off grocery store samples or recently invested most of your money in social games.
If you opt to give Rock of Ages a go this Halloween weekend, you’ll be greeted by upgraded matchmaking, AI practice waiting rooms for online multiplayer, and a guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-pumpkin-UI. Also a ghost boulder. Previous updates, meanwhile, have included new modes like Obstacle Course. So even if you took Rock of Ages for a spin at launch, it might be worth diving back in for a moment or two.
So, in short, to conclude, and without a moment to spare: rocks. Discuss.