Barkley, Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden Getting A Sequel

By Nathan Grayson on November 14th, 2012 at 7:00 pm.

Beautiful.

There are some strong RPG parodies out there, certainly. Cthulhu Saves The World and Zeboyd’s other stuff springs to mind – among others. But there are others still that use the RPG parody as a mere canvas for a long, unwavering stare into the heart of madness. “Others,” you see, is plural because post-apocalyptic basketball insane-o-splosion Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden is getting a sequel. For the uninitiated, the original saw former basketball star Charles Barkley (allegedly) perform the forbidden Chaos Dunk, killing millions and ending the world. And that was only the beginning. The new one, meanwhile, is titled The Magical Realms of Tír na nÓg: Escape from Necron 7 – Revenge of Cuchulainn: The Official Game of the Movie – Chapter 2 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa. Seriously.

TMROTNN:EFN7-ROC:TOGOTM-C2OTHBS boasts an “open, non-linear world,” choices that will have “serious consequence,” and, um, a lot of other things. It remains to be seen whether one playthrough will take as long as it does to read the game’s title out loud, but here you go.

“Barkley 2 pits the player as X114JAM9, an amnesiac baller with no recollection of his past and no concept of his incredible b-ball destiny. Only the arcane wisdom of the otherworldly slam scholar Cyberdwarf can reclaim his lost memories… and lost b-ball powers. But first, X114JAM9 must evade the sinister grasp of the malevolent A.I. Cuchulainn, his would-be captor and the ancient nemesis of all ballers, hoopsters, slammers and jammers.”

Yep. It sounds roughly as preposterous as the original, which is to say moreso than just about anything else ever. Apparently, the plan is to kick off a Kickstarter sometime this month, and I’m quite excited/terrified to find out what manner of insanity Tale of Game’s (yes, they add the apostrophe on purpose to make people upset) can cook into rewards/stretch goals/etc. Which is odd, because I usually hate all of that stuff. But then, I suppose normal rules don’t really apply where basketball apocalypses are concerned.

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36 Comments »

  1. povu says:

    Let me guess: The abbreviation of this game is a Planetside 2 key?

  2. Bhazor says:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo7TDtmatyM

    Rarely does such a terrible film create such wonderful things. That’s doesn’t include the confusion Lola Bunny caused in many young boy’s.

  3. Ich Will says:

    I honestly thought this article was linking to new content on shut up and sit down :/

  4. BooleanBob says:

    Until I read this article, I never realised the terrible power that intentional misapostrophising might have in the hands of the troll’s.

  5. Mr. Mister says:

    The capital G in SaGa is just the icing on the cake.

  6. MOKKA says:

    I have no Idea what it is, but I need to have it. Now!

  7. Skeletor68 says:

    Anything combining Cuchulainn and basketball has me sold. Hopefully there will be a Finn ‘too cool ‘ McChúl mini boss.

  8. Dr I am a Doctor says:

    I have a bursting erection and a heart attack at the same time call a doctor

  9. WMain00 says:

    Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden was pretty awesome to be honest. It’s free and worth a playthrough.

    It’s like the sequel to Space Jam…but not…

  10. klingon13524 says:

    There are some games that you just know without a shadow of a doubt will be amazing as soon as they’re announced, and this is certainly one of them.

  11. hypercrisis says:

    The first Shut Up and Jam Gaiden is actually a very solid and entertaining game, I heartily recommend it to anyone who can appreciate its sense of humour.

  12. InternetBatman says:

    Sadly it’s a DX 11.1 exclusive.

  13. hsduoisdfbn says:

    ONLINE STORE :

    +++ http://fur.ly/92gq ++++++++++

    Best online store

    Best quality, Best reputation , Best services

    —**** NHL Jersey Woman $ 40 —**** NFL Jersey $ 35

    —**** NBA Jersey $ 34 —**** MLB Jersey $ 35

    —**** Jordan Six Ring_m $ 36 —**** Air Yeezy_m $ 45

    —**** T-Shirt_m $ 25 —**** Jacket_m $ 36

    —**** Hoody_m $ 50 —**** Manicure Set $ 20

    —**** handbag $ 37 —**** ugg boot $ 43 —****

    —**** sunglass $ 16 —**** bult $ 17 —****

    +++ http://fur.ly/92gq ++++++++++

    • thealexray says:

      Believe it or not this post is by one of the developers.

      • LuizPSC says:

        Makes Sense:

        Best quality, Best reputation , Best services

        —**** NHL Jersey Woman $ 40 —**** NFL Jersey $ 35

        —**** NBA Jersey $ 34 —**** MLB Jersey $ 35

        —**** Jordan Six Ring_m $ 36 —**** Air Yeezy_m $ 45

        But i only have Neo-Shekels to buy this armor.

  14. Danorz says:

    just as a headsup if you’ve never played barkley shut up and jam gaiden you should really really really fix that. not only is it probably the best example of a parody game – one that does not spin its bowtie at the camera every ten seconds – but i think there’s like a solid 8% of the internet you need to have played it to get

  15. TsunamiWombat says:

    Those who have not played Shut up and Jam Gaiden should note it is free, and includes Michael Jordan – as a villain.

    Also the money in the game is called “Neo Shekels”

    trailer for the original, gives you a great idea what it’s about.

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