By Alec Meer on December 3rd, 2012 at 5:00 pm.
Why distort one beloved franchise when you can do two at once? The latest DLC for Hitman: Ablutions once again fails to add new missions, ideally in a Streets of Hope vein, but instead a new costume and gun which can only be used in the Contracts mode. This new costume is the kevlar’n'metal duds of one Adam Jensen, he of Deus Ex: Human Revolution fame. This happens due to Hitman and Deux Ex being publisher stablemates, of course. As far as I can tell there is no narrative justification for why Baldy McChoke would come to acquire the augmented form of a mopey, bearded cyborg from the future, but hell, if Ridley Scott can contrive to unite the Blade Runner and Alien universes then this is no less silly.
The DXHR togs do make 47 look a bit like Gunther, mind.
The Jensen outfit, and his Zenith pistol (bought separately via Steam, for 69p each) are only useful in terms of combat, not stealth or sneaking into an all-cyborg dinner party, so don’t get your hopes up that the combination of two stealth-related games would result in ULTRA-STEALTH. It’s just a skin with a damage reduction buff and a gun for shooting dudes with. Kind of like this:
He doesn’t even get elbow swords!
Altogether now:
What
A
Shame
03/12/2012 at 17:03 Wreckdum says:
Everything I have read about this game says I won’t like it. Torrenting it now to find out. If they ruined my favorite franchise I’m going to be very angry…
03/12/2012 at 17:11 Carwash says:
But if you enjoy it, you’ll of course rush out and purchase it .. ? ;)
03/12/2012 at 17:42 Riaktion says:
Hah! Yes! Seconded! *very much happy on high horse*
03/12/2012 at 18:54 jessicahutchins7 says:
up to I looked at the draft 4 $6111, I accept that my neighbour was actualy receiving money in there spare time at there computar.. there aunt has been doing this for less than sixteen months and as of now cleard the debts on their house and bourt a great Volkswagen Golf GTI. we looked here.. http://www.Google.MEL7.CoM
03/12/2012 at 23:22 Tom Walker says:
If you’re going to have a computer program fire your advert all over the Internet in the hope of making millions from the stupidity of the stupid, it’s perhaps best not to type it by just slamming your face against the keyboard.
03/12/2012 at 17:13 AlwaysRight says:
Uh oh, prepare to be angry.
03/12/2012 at 18:24 colossalstrikepackage says:
Methinks Hitman: Ablutions rather gives the game away.
03/12/2012 at 21:12 AlwaysRight says:
Hitman: Absolutshite mair like.
03/12/2012 at 19:00 lordfrikk says:
I’ll save you the bandwidth, if you’re fan of previous games (especially BM) you’ll hate it before you’re done with the first mission (literally).
03/12/2012 at 19:20 Uthred says:
Absolution has as much if not more in common with the earlier games than BM does, BM was a bit of a departure from the earlier games and people need to stop with the revisionist bullshit. Why do people feel the need to dress up “I dont like this game because its not BM” with random bullshit?
03/12/2012 at 19:59 PikaBot says:
I think you’ll have to explain that statement a bit, chum. I’ve admittedly not played Agent 47 or Contracts, but I played Silent Assassin into the fucking ground and Blood Money was basically a better version of it.
04/12/2012 at 03:47 yourgrandma says:
Nope contracts was just like blood money as well. Blood money was not a departure at all. Only one that is a departure is H:A. Absolutely freaking awful game with awful game mechanics.
04/12/2012 at 07:31 KenTWOu says:
It wasn’t, it has different disguise system.
03/12/2012 at 17:04 tobecooper says:
Oooh, he looks so cute! He’s gonna get SO many sweets when he goes trick-or-treating.
This looks more like Jensen wearing an Agent 47 mask. The head is too big to be a real head.
03/12/2012 at 17:09 Carwash says:
if Ridley Scott can contrive to unite the Blade Runner and Alien universes then this is no less silly.
WHAT?!
03/12/2012 at 17:20 kevmscotland says:
I too, would like further explanation of this…. this… monstrosity of a idea.
03/12/2012 at 20:24 Baines says:
A good description is here:
http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/does-this-prometheus-easter-egg-hint-at-a-blade-runner-tie-in/
There is an Easter Egg email that got people’s attentions, but it apparently went further than that. The article above mentions Scott floating the idea of the company being Weyland Tyrell, and has a supposed concept art of Roy Batty as a guard.
04/12/2012 at 10:42 Subject 706 says:
This + the news of this DLC almost makes it necessary for me to get drunk at work. Too bad I’m in an office space.
04/12/2012 at 12:38 Pippy says:
But what does Prometheus have to do with Alien or Blade Runner?
04/12/2012 at 15:19 zaphod42 says:
Are you joking? Not sure if serious.
Prometheus is a clear prequel to Alien. I mean, fuck dude, they USED THE SAME SETS. Didn’t you notice the space jockey from Alien 1 in Prometheus?! That was HUGE! They’re directly related, set in the same world, over the same events. (SPOILERS) Prometheus CREATES the xenomorphs which cause Alien 1, Aliens, etc.
Now, as for Blade Runner, the Alien series is set off on fringe mining colonies, while Blade Runner is set on a core world, Earth. They’re both in the future, set in the kind of used retro-junk-future. There’s no reason why the two aren’t completely compatible.
They aren’t really necessary to be in the same world either, though. So it doesn’t matter either way. I just see it as Ridley Scott having fun.
04/12/2012 at 18:15 Carwash says:
Prometheus is not set on the same planet that is in Alien and Aliens (unless you mean same “world” as “universe” kind of world/setting.. not planetary body). The planet in Alien, LV-246, is in inhabitable, in Prometheus (set much much earlier) it isn’t. It’s not until Aliens, which is set 57 years after, where LV-246 is being terraformed.
The xenomorph at the end of Prometheus is not the same as in Alien and Aliens either, its head is different.
The space jockey ships can be spread around the universe, which in Aliens, looks like it crash landed on LV-246 anyway.
04/12/2012 at 18:47 Enso says:
Xenomorphs also reproduce through the use of hosts. They take on characteristics of their hosts so it’s logical to assume those are originals and those in Alien are descendants.
03/12/2012 at 17:21 iucounu says:
Well, in the crapfest that was Prometheus there’s the implication that the androids = Blade Runner’s replicants.
03/12/2012 at 17:33 Earl-Grey says:
What?
But what about the white body fluids and the androids being slightly distinguishable from their human counterparts?
White body fluids as in what about all the androids’ bodily fluids being white in the Aliens films.
Not as in what about the androids’ white bodily fluids from pornographic fan fiction.
As I recall Replicants are supposed to be indistinguishable from humans, except for under vigorous Voigh-Kampff testing.
I should, perhaps, clarify that I have not seen Prometheus.
03/12/2012 at 17:38 iucounu says:
Yes, it doesn’t really add up, especially as Alien’s apparently supposed to be set later than Blade Runner. (Although perhaps they’d learn from their earlier problems and make androids easier to distinguish from humans than replicants were?) I think it’s mainly a bit of fan-service. “Why the hell not?”, Ridley was probably thinking.
Don’t bother seeing Prometheus unless you’ve ever wondered what Alien would be like if literally every character were both an idiot and incredibly drunk.
03/12/2012 at 17:57 S Jay says:
This is in fact quite compelling.
04/12/2012 at 02:35 sinister agent says:
Now I want to see the shitfaced version of every film ever. Directors! Get cracking.
03/12/2012 at 17:38 Unaco says:
See below, but it was an extra from the DVD/BluRay Prometheus release. It is actually about the difference between Tyrell’s Replicants, and Weyland’s Synthetics. They aren’t the same. Weyland sees the Replicants as Tyrell just trying to copy God, while his Synthetics are inventive, ingenious, innovative.
03/12/2012 at 17:46 Earl-Grey says:
Oooh…I see.
Then maybe Ripley is really a replicant!
And Rachael is Ripley’s “mum”!
Now that’s fan service.
I hope Ridley doesn’t read this.
03/12/2012 at 19:02 SominiTheCommenter says:
Good for you.
04/12/2012 at 00:16 Kefren says:
It’s disappointing, but worth seeing, if that makes sense. Spoilers: karldrinkwater.blogspot.com/2012/06/prometheus-film.html
03/12/2012 at 17:41 Unaco says:
No. There is no such implication. In the extras, there is the implication that Weyland used to work for Tyrell, but disagreed with Tyrell’s approach, and thus created the Weyland Robotics Division… producing Synthetics, using a different approach to the Replicants.
It’s actually implied that they are NOT the same thing. It’s making a point of the difference between the two.
03/12/2012 at 17:44 iucounu says:
Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply exactly the same thing, and thanks for the link. (I should have said replicants ≈ androids or something.)
03/12/2012 at 17:27 dontnormally says:
He has said before that they are to take place in the same universe, yes.
Blade Runner on the ruined, sprawl-blighted waste that is Earth.
Alien in the corporate-controlled, rugged frontier space.
03/12/2012 at 17:27 DrScuttles says:
Prometheus Easter egg hints at Blade Runner crossover.
I for one can’t wait for Ridley Scott to burn another of his greats to the ground.
03/12/2012 at 17:29 iucounu says:
Blade Ruiner.
03/12/2012 at 17:59 S Jay says:
Nominated to the best pun of 2012.
03/12/2012 at 17:28 rustybroomhandle says:
Hehe, have you ever heard of the Tommy Westphall hypothesis? If not, I’ll hand you over to Bob Chipman, who’ll explain it. It’s all connected!
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/6074-Worlds-Within-Worlds
03/12/2012 at 17:32 Unaco says:
Peter Weyland used to work for the Tyrell Corporation, and was Eldon Tyrell’s protege type thing. It was a diary/journal entry or similar, written for the BluRay/DVD release Extras for Prometheus.
03/12/2012 at 17:09 DonDrapersAcidTrip says:
It doesn’t seem that unbelievable that Alien is an offworld story in the blade runner universe. I could of swore Ridley Scott said as much in the 80s.
03/12/2012 at 17:09 darkChozo says:
Hitman: Ablutions – the story of one brave janitor’s efforts to clean up after a series of brutal murders. Featuring heart-pounding action and an immersive epic storyline. Coming to 360, PS3, and PC spring 2013.
03/12/2012 at 17:12 AmateurScience says:
Better with Kinect
03/12/2012 at 17:10 AmateurScience says:
Is it me or is 47′s head waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than it should be for the Jensen body model?
And, if so, are Square charging 70p for a cut and shut 3D model that someone put together in an afternoon?
Have we come full circle back to horse armour again?
Hold me.
03/12/2012 at 17:19 tobecooper says:
I’ll give you an arm to cry on, but watch out cuz it’s got elbow swords in it.
03/12/2012 at 20:27 Baines says:
It has tiny arms and tiny legs, which make it look worse than it would otherwise.
At first, I wondered why Uncle Fester had tiny arms, until I realized it was supposed to be Agent 47.
03/12/2012 at 17:11 Seniath says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:14 Earl-Grey says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:18 Atrocious says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:20 Firez0r says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:22 Aerothorn says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:32 AlwaysRight says:
What…
03/12/2012 at 17:36 Mr-Link says:
a…….
03/12/2012 at 17:50 colossalstrikepackage says:
Shame!
03/12/2012 at 17:54 Rikard Peterson says:
Shame!
03/12/2012 at 17:57 Firez0r says:
a……
03/12/2012 at 18:00 S Jay says:
What
03/12/2012 at 18:56 Lambchops says:
a
03/12/2012 at 19:22 Iskarott says:
sham
03/12/2012 at 19:05 SominiTheCommenter says:
SHAMEFACE!
03/12/2012 at 19:42 MrLebanon says:
WARSHAME
04/12/2012 at 01:59 thecat17 says:
What a shame.
04/12/2012 at 03:53 tomeoftom says:
What a shame.
03/12/2012 at 17:11 Low Life says:
It’s funny because 47′s vision is (in Absolution) already augmented.
03/12/2012 at 17:16 Earl-Grey says:
I spill my drink!
03/12/2012 at 19:05 SominiTheCommenter says:
I wanted ORRANGE! It gave me lemon-lime.
03/12/2012 at 19:59 Rao Dao Zao says:
A bomb!
03/12/2012 at 17:20 Dowson says:
I can’t wait for the Agent 47 DLC in Thief 4.
03/12/2012 at 17:49 Sarkhan Lol says:
THI47F
03/12/2012 at 19:12 Vorphalack says:
Theifourf.
03/12/2012 at 17:21 Squirrelfanatic says:
My disappointment is augmented.
03/12/2012 at 17:35 Brise Bonbons says:
That was a fine job there, sir, thanks for the laughs.
03/12/2012 at 17:24 Pryde says:
Whether it’s Jensen “wearing” 47, or 47 “wearing” Jensen… no backing from gay themes now, you damn c*nt-eyed publisher. Where are my tentacles now? If you japs want to ruin it all – go all the way down, I dare you! x)
03/12/2012 at 18:09 jrodman says:
I think they would make a rather awkward couple.
And perhaps an equally awkward coupling.
As much as I enjoy the multiple male porn, this sounds rather grotesque.
03/12/2012 at 17:26 olemars says:
Agent 47 looks embarrassed to be seen in that outfit. And 47 has worn a lot of crazy shit.
03/12/2012 at 17:52 Sarkhan Lol says:
I had no idea that was supposed to be Adam “No Genitalia” Jensen.
It looks like a post-chemotherapy Alice Cooper doing an edgy remake of ice Pirates.
03/12/2012 at 17:53 Sarkhan Lol says:
*looks at picture* *turns green* I need to use the bath room!
03/12/2012 at 17:28 Morlock says:
The “Adam Jensen disguise”? In case his target surrounded himself with Adam Jensens?
03/12/2012 at 18:08 JKjoker says:
no no, its in case his target is NOT surrounded by Adam Jensens, in Subtitle they changed disguises so that they would be worse than not having them against ppl dressing the same, destroying the whole point of disguising yourself and greatly increasing the frustration of the already annoying checkpoint only reloads until you finally give up and shoot everyone extremely easily with point shooting, genius i know
03/12/2012 at 19:41 Morlock says:
So the best way to assassinate the Queen of the Commonwealth is to dress up as a South American macumba-priest?
03/12/2012 at 23:47 Jackablade says:
To be fair, 47 flouncing about dressed as the queen might arrouse some suspicions.
05/12/2012 at 12:26 fugo says:
nah he can just cover his face for 10 seconds, no problem
03/12/2012 at 17:32 Faren22 says:
His head is so big and shiny I half expect to see him in some kind of shooting gallery.
03/12/2012 at 17:32 KevinLew says:
Square Enix is probably furious that Agent 47 doesn’t wear a hat normally, and now they can’t exploit that avenue of DLC.
03/12/2012 at 18:10 JKjoker says:
they could… huh … sell Band-Aid DLC, maybe one that fully covers the damn barcode
03/12/2012 at 17:36 jezcentral says:
How can you get Hitman DLC wrong? Give us some mission packs, not this dross.
03/12/2012 at 19:44 MrLebanon says:
Yes please!
I actually really enjoy contracts mode and feel it needs loads of new maps
What i certainly don’t need is an “Adam Jensen” disguise… and if you’re going to give me an Adam Jensen disguise… at least give me a cool beard
03/12/2012 at 17:38 Mr-Link says:
At least give us the blades that comes with the suit!!………sheesh
03/12/2012 at 17:39 Uthred says:
This DLC has been out since the 20/11, rather odd to report on it now.
03/12/2012 at 17:59 Sarkhan Lol says:
They were probably using that time to confirm five or six times that this was actually a real thing and not a sick practical joke.
03/12/2012 at 18:03 Hahaha says:
Slow news day plus a need to get some page views from people raging in the comments.
03/12/2012 at 20:35 Kadayi says:
Slow day in the RPS office obviously, that this completely optional clothing DLC constitutes ‘news’ still any reason to people an excuse to ‘hate’ (read: find a reason to pirate) HM:A it seems.
03/12/2012 at 17:40 cjlr says:
Down with this sort of thing.
03/12/2012 at 17:49 AlwaysRight says:
Careful now.
04/12/2012 at 19:41 SelfEsteemFund says:
Somehow in every post it’s funny & appropriate.
03/12/2012 at 22:35 Lone Gunman says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-F2HKLzB6c
03/12/2012 at 17:43 sinister agent says:
This is the kind of thing that only gets suggested in a sensible office nanoseconds before everyone else lines up to punch you in the mouth for it.
03/12/2012 at 17:47 Low Life says:
The concept itself (i.e. a random game reference costume) is the kind of thing that gets added as an easter egg on a long Thursday evening, and is in a way kind of awesome.
Selling that same costume is ridiculous and makes Squenix (this HAS to come from them..) lose a lot of respect in my eyes.
03/12/2012 at 18:01 darkChozo says:
It’s rather odd, actually; Squenix has done cross-promotional stuff like this before but it’s been more a “you get this if you’ve played the game”-type deal. Sleeping Dogs had a JC2 Rico skin if you had JC2, not if you had money and a questionable sense of value.
03/12/2012 at 17:43 Artista says:
If Christopher Nolan made a Robin movie…
03/12/2012 at 17:47 Phantoon says:
I don’t get it. What does this have to do with a penguin?
03/12/2012 at 17:53 mehteh says:
bad console focus game receives bad DLC. what a surprise…
03/12/2012 at 17:55 SuperNashwanPower says:
If this was a mod on steam you would instantly click past it whilst tutting
03/12/2012 at 17:56 pakoito says:
My embarrassment is augmented.
03/12/2012 at 18:33 pakoito says:
By the way, staring eyes tag
03/12/2012 at 18:05 Gap Gen says:
By Gunther I hope you mean the penguin from Adventure Time.
03/12/2012 at 18:40 Dilapinated says:
I will not be satisfied until there is a mod to replace all of 47′s dialogue with WAAK WAAK WAAK.
04/12/2012 at 13:14 Shadowcat says:
Gunther was killed today. Can’t let myself think about it.
03/12/2012 at 18:18 fallingmagpie says:
I finished replaying Blood Money last week. It was excellent, and looked absolutely nothing like that video. Well, except for Requiem where it’s obligatory to SHOOT ALL OF THE MEN.
03/12/2012 at 18:19 MrUnimport says:
The real indignity is the suggestion that Adam Jensen’s outfit provides any degree of bullet resistance at all. If it did, I’d have liked to have seen it in DX3.
03/12/2012 at 18:52 QualityJeverage says:
This DLC (Along with a few other outfits and weapons) have been available since release. But I’ve seen it reported on a few sites today, did they just today suddenly start marketing it to you guys or what?
I’m not so much trying to should “old news!” as figure out why today everyone seems to be aware of it suddenly.
03/12/2012 at 19:47 HadToLogin says:
I THINK it’s trailer that just was released, and all “reporters” proved how good they are and instead following the trail of bullets, just wrote “new DLC because new video”, quite often followed by “let’s try to be witty and say Hitman sux”.
04/12/2012 at 08:01 KenTWOu says:
Agree with that.It seems RPS is jumping on the hate wagon.
03/12/2012 at 22:23 Lukaspz says:
Almost better than the 47 DLC in Sleeping Dogs…
03/12/2012 at 22:25 Lukaspz says:
Chinese 47!!! http://www.siliconera.com/2012/11/13/sleeping-dogs-dlc-dresses-wei-shen-like-deus-exs-adam-jensen-hitmans-agent-47/
04/12/2012 at 00:32 Jahkaivah says:
“The DXHR togs do make 47 look a bit like Gunther, mind.”
They make me think of Sergeant Cortez from Timesplitters.
04/12/2012 at 03:55 Safilpope says:
Wow, I thought Agent 47 had been assimilated by the Borg at first. I should read the article before coming to conclusions – However if they owned the rights to Star Trek, who knows? They’d probably do it
04/12/2012 at 10:43 Danda says:
But can you power-punch a breakdancer with this?
04/12/2012 at 12:18 rocketman71 says:
to unite the Blade Runner and Alien universes then this is no less silly
Thank you SO MUCH for the spoiler.
Some of us haven’t seen the movie yet, you know?. This is not the fucking Sixth Sense we’re talking here, it’s still a recent one.
05/12/2012 at 01:10 MacTheGeek says:
Prometheus was released almost six months ago. It’s already available on DVD. Whatever the statute of limitations is for spoiler tags, it’s either run out or is close enough to make no real difference.
Of course, all media can’t be timed equally. For example, if I tried to talk about what happens to Jon Snow at the end of A Dance With Dragons, I’d probably meet with a bloo– ::gurk ::
04/12/2012 at 12:49 Nihil says:
Is there a reason people all over the internets constantly quote the first line of the E3 trailer ‘I never asked for this’ as ‘I didn’t ask for this’? Pedantic yes, but I’m curious.
05/12/2012 at 12:22 fugo says:
“Now everyone will see why I needed a skull-gun”.
16/12/2012 at 01:28 zachanscom says:
alien and bladerunner fit together perfectly you fucking moron.
other than that, good article.