Rude Health: Involuntary Runner

By Craig Pearson on December 7th, 2012 at 8:00 pm.


Disclaimer: I am rubbish at this. Terrible. Watching me attempt to get my head around Involuntary Runner is like watching a monkey build an atom bomb. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t accidentally set myself on fire as I clumsily attempt to coax my runner into action. The goal is simple: you have a runner, a man who you have to help run as far as he can. I’ll bet you’re waiting for a twist to come, yeah? Well here it is: you don’t directly control the runner, but you do have to keep his organs in good health. That means maintaining a steady rate of breathing, heart beat, while making sure he eats his food and controls his emissions. Yes, that last word means exactly what you think it means. Farts!

This is QWOP, after it hopped in a teleporter with Canabalt and an organy mess spilled out the other side. The element of inherent slapstick isn’t there, but it’s still awfully challenging.

You need to regulate breathing and heart-beat, which means just tapping away at two different keys. But your heart needs a faster pace to survive than the lungs, and the complicated concentration involved in just making that happen has already broken me. I can’t do it with any degree of skill. I think I killed him twice before taking more than twenty steps. There’s an added complication, where your runner grabs food. You regularly need to mash the space key to digest what he’s gorged on, while timing his bottom burps to help him jump over gaps.

Here it is with unfortunately gross trailer music over the top.

It’s several hours after lunchtime, but this is the perfect distraction from work that’s probably more difficult than your actual job.

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11 Comments »

  1. phelix says:

    Now that’s gameplay innovation.

  2. Scouter says:

    This is a runner for my favorite flash games.

    Edit: 543m. Wham bam, thank you ma’am. I fail.

  3. Low Life says:

    Great, another game to tell my that either my hands, my brain or both are shit.

  4. Carbonated Dan says:

    anyone else a bit put out that the bass (lungs) and melody (heart) are wrong-handed?

    third attempt made it 383m, is that healthy or infirm?

  5. The Random One says:

    The game name’s tag appears to have an Irish accent.

  6. Brun says:

    Posting to register my shock that there are no other articles under that first tag on RPS.

  7. SuperNashwanPower says:

    Just been out for my work christmas dinner and felt it entirely appropriate to say my farts are now so bad that I am actually making myself feel nauseous.

    The party was shit by the way. Which is sort of a pun.

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