The First Five Minutes Of BioShock Infinite, If You Want

By John Walker on December 19th, 2012 at 2:00 pm.

Do you want to see the first five minutes of BioShock: Infinite? I don’t. I want to play them at the time! However, should you be of a more curious mind, or simply incapable of waiting now you know it exists, desperately trying to, but horribly aware that like the beginnings of a sneeze it’s inevitable that you’re going to have to press play eventually, you can watch them in the video below.

I can’t really add any commentary here, as I’ve not seen it. In fact, via the magic of Alec having done most of the coverage for this game, I’ve managed to avoid having to learn almost anything about it. Apparently it features a girl with a big cleavage – that’s what I’ve found out so far. I’m going to be a terrible games journalist and try to stick to that, inevitably to be disappointed on the eventual release when it proves to be combat-obsessed.

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32 Comments »

  1. Network Crayon says:

    Classy.

    (Update) That fancy chair is So Thunderbirds.

    • Taidan says:

      ….and the scene just after the bell-ringing is pretty Close Encounters.

  2. luukdeman111 says:

    Must……..not………click……….can’t………resist!

  3. Jams O'Donnell says:

    Okay video games, this hat nonsense needs to stop.

    I will help you out, video games. This is what a hat looks like: http://bit.ly/WoFrub

  4. Premium User Badge

    AlwaysRight says:

    Just, incredibly missjudged…

    Story driven action/adventure games are all about discovery for me, why ruin that?

    edit: I MEAN COME ON! The opening minutes of a story are so important, Bioshock 1′s was one of the best things about it, COME ON!

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      I think John might be working under the assumption that the title of both the article and the video, are hideously self-explanatory.

  5. Yargh says:

    Last I heard, the cleavage had been covered up… So now you know nothing.

    • Xocrates says:

      Last I heard, the cleavage was still in. The “covered up” bit seems to be part of the game, not all of it.

      • MrWolf says:

        Do you mean there is a gameplay element involving uncovering cleavage?

        /Reaches for the “Pre Order” button.

        • luukdeman111 says:

          Yep, it’s a QTE minigame where she punches you in the face if you touch her chest for too long….

  6. Xocrates says:

    Having watched the video, let me say this: That video is a waste of space.

    People who want the game won’t want to watch it, and there’s nothing there for those in the fence as it shows nothing.

    And context free nothing at that.

    So, what was the point?

    • TheCzarMan says:

      I want the game and I watched it. Explain that one.

      • Xocrates says:

        You’re a statistical anomaly and can safely be ignored.

        A bit more seriously though, that was obviously a rather simplistic generalization, the point being that the video is utterly useless.

    • Mathute87 says:

      I also want the game and watched it.

      Thing about this game is that it’s been all “meh” until now. Only good trailer so far was the “Beast of America” one. This video gives me nothing. No spoilers, nothing to be more excited about. And the fact that they release it so ahead of the game’s release bugs me.

      I’m still getting it, as Bioshock is one of my favorite games of all time, and I have almost no doubt that I’ll love it. But so far? Meh.

  7. medwards says:

    Option 3: There is no Mac release on Steam so I’ll just watch this instead. Wish I had time to figure out how to get my desktop shipped overseas :(

  8. spindaden says:

    i like that the tags kind of make a comment of their own:

    BioShock: Infinite, Irrational, trailer.

  9. Artista says:

    Why even show this to the public? That was incredibly boring, unlike Bioshock’s first 5 minutes.

  10. Bhazor says:

    I used to be in the cavalry.
    Then I took a bayonet in the knee.

  11. Scratches Beard With Pipe Stem says:

    I haven’t watched it but the still makes it look like Columbia, the Lone Star City. I envision a collapsing platform with voiceover “Houston, we have a problem.” Booker: “Yee ha! Giddyup, two-legged horse!”

  12. Monkey says:

    I never asked for this

  13. Brise Bonbons says:

    Alright, so now I’m even less interested in the game. Seriously, what do they expect to accomplish by showing us what is in effect 5 minutes of cut scene occasionally interspersed with press x to open door?

    I now know that Bioshock: Infinite has old-time-y musics and really out of place rocket boosters. Also that it is not afraid of trapping you in long sessions of corridor based walking sprinkled with purposefully opaque dialog designed to make it all seem more mysterious.

    C’mon, game PR people, what is this nonsense? The fucking Tombraider trailer got me more excited by babbling something about “clever resourceful Lara” while mostly showing me menus. :(

    • pilouuuu says:

      I think this is a trailer for people who played Bioshock. Maybe you should check The Beast of America trailer which could be more your cup of tea.

  14. cheshiren says:

    Oh, I remember it was somewhere else: ocean, storm, lighthouse, strange transportation system.
    Right, the very beginning of Bioshock 1.

  15. Stormkiller72 says:

    Jennifer…Hale…again…
    and this time with her laughable attempt at a British accent.
    Oh please stop casting her as every female in every game ever.
    I want to feel immersed and invested in the characters, and not have flashes from other games every time i hear her bloody voice.

    Other than that…
    Looks cool so far.

  16. pilouuuu says:

    OK, this is obviously a special trailer for those who played Bioshock. Just like we read in the preview it is so similar and so different to the beginning of that game. I think it is going to be amazing and even if it is just as good as the first game it would still be a fantastic experience.

    It has so many Parallels to that game, that I’m starting to think of some fancy theories about the story of this game. Or maybe I’m just struggling to create memories where none exist.

  17. Suits says:

    How does that boat stop effortlessly at the ladder while the water is rocking like crazy and why the hell does he walk in the most obvious trap since 70s cartoons

  18. RoboLeader says:

    Don’t know where I’m going, I just keep on rowing
    I just keep on pulling, gotta row

  19. hosndosn says:

    Not much to spoil here, it’s essentially just the intro, zero gameplay.