By Craig Pearson on January 16th, 2013 at 8:00 pm.
The list of things cats can do: lick their genitals, preen, fight off bears, and benchmark your PC with dubstep. That last one is SO a thing. Remember those programs that would use pretty graphics and scenes of games that didn’t exist to test out how powerful your graphics card is? Well the best one ever has just come out. Allbenchmark’s Catzilla shows Godzilla-sized cats battling armies and each other. The video below is life changing.
This is it. There’s no going back once you hit the play button. Life is all downhill from here. Are you sure you want to? I’m giving you an out right now. Kitten cam is nowhere near as spectacular as this, and it won’t tell you how many frames-per-second your new graphics card can manage, but it’s more sedate and less reality breaking. And you’ll melt at the fuzzies.
The demo can be downloaded, with the free version testing out things up to 720p. Not much use for a desktop, but it’s netbook and laptop friendly. I just ran it and got anywhere between 35fps to 120fps. All it did was to remind me that 30fps isn’t all that bad. Not when cats are battling it out and knocking buildings down. I have one complaint, and it’s that when the cats met to fight, they didn’t do that thing where they try and look big. This benchmark could do with a little bit of cat knowledge, frankly.
Via Eurogamer.
16/01/2013 at 20:07 Ricc says:
This is pretty much longcat vs tacgnol, isn’t it?
16/01/2013 at 20:21 Memphis-Ahn says:
My thoughts exactly.
17/01/2013 at 06:32 emilyaustin8 says:
If you think Randy`s story is unbelievable,, a month-ago my sisters mother in-law worked and got paid $5093 working ninteen hours a week from their apartment and their friend’s sister-in-law`s neighbour done this for four months and made over $5093 part-time from a computer. applie the information here..http://cutt.us/850X
16/01/2013 at 20:09 PostieDoc says:
Wibble Wub Wibble Wub Wub.
16/01/2013 at 22:24 Bhazor says:
Wum wob wob wumm wob booop
16/01/2013 at 23:08 gwathdring says:
Bunuhnunuh bwow wub whow bwikka nurnur wrrrrnnnnng
17/01/2013 at 02:22 taibermeik says:
The housing cover iPad Mini (white) $ 58.00 http://wr.su/leT
17/01/2013 at 11:45 Darth_Pingu says:
Now that’s some real digital music, right there.
16/01/2013 at 20:11 rockman29 says:
Things like this make me tired of using the internet lol.
16/01/2013 at 20:20 sabrage says:
Indeed, I have changed over to the offline lol.
16/01/2013 at 20:32 EPICTHEFAIL says:
Really? Last I checked the offline lol sucks ass. I guess they patched some it without me noticing.
16/01/2013 at 22:44 The Random One says:
Pfft, you guys are still using lol? I switched to lmfao ages ago, it doesn’t even comprare.
17/01/2013 at 02:33 b1439310 says:
Edit: Good news since they fixed the price! The $5 credit also works on this even though it’s not advertised anywhere.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AZMCYOI/ref=bt_atcg_img_0?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1SGGBBTD73WPHD1GJZQE&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1467901842&pf_rd_i=979455011
16/01/2013 at 20:11 Valerius Maximus says:
Gozilla?
16/01/2013 at 22:32 guygodbois00 says:
Gojira, surely.
16/01/2013 at 20:21 RoAE says:
I knew Pyro was a girl.
anyway good stuff.
16/01/2013 at 20:24 mooken says:
Catastrophically awesome. Defelinately feline the choice of music.
16/01/2013 at 23:09 gwathdring says:
Really? You must be kitten me. I didn’t find it very memorable at all–looking back it’s all fuzzy.
16/01/2013 at 20:25 caddyB says:
Oh look, reapers.
16/01/2013 at 20:27 Hoaxfish says:
Are graphical benchmarks supposed to look bad?
16/01/2013 at 20:36 EPICTHEFAIL says:
Their animations are bad and they should feel bad.
16/01/2013 at 20:43 SuperNashwanPower says:
Hair and destruction I guess
But yeah, I was kind of expecting something stunning. Its a cool video, but awesome graphics tech it isnt
16/01/2013 at 21:17 LionsPhil says:
Yeah, that’s…kind of significantly behind the state of the art of actual games that exist, both in terms of “technical” effects, and artistically. Unlike 3DMark in its prime.
Also those cats are just plain ugly.
16/01/2013 at 20:36 Beernut says:
No mention of the term “furmark” yet? Well, let’s take care of that, shall we.
16/01/2013 at 20:38 Jehar says:
Needs more Spiny Norman. Diiiinnnsdaaale.
16/01/2013 at 20:40 Shadram says:
Watching this video caused me to spill half a cup of tea all over myself, my desk, keyboard and documents. Not the best start to the morning, but totally worth it.
16/01/2013 at 20:42 sonofsanta says:
Those aren’t just cats, those are slender kitties.
Also, yay for cats, as one of mine just (got) returned after four weeks living it up with a local old lady who started feeding her ham. Stupid old lady stealin’ my cat.
16/01/2013 at 20:54 Llewyn says:
You should be well aware that it’s only “your” cat so long as you’re making it better offers in the food department than the competition. Cats are notorious for shopping around and will trade up to a better quality owner any chance they get. It’s only human protectionism interfering with the feline free market that’s forced that cat back to you.
17/01/2013 at 00:00 Blackcompany says:
This is entirely true.
Glad you got your cat back, but watch out, it will remember the ham. I recently “adopted” an outdoor neighborhood stray. Its cold here and he comes round twice a week or so to eat. Since I have two lazy indoor cats for whom I already buy food I began feeding the stray, who is mostly white and who I call Ghost for his infrequent, mysterious appearances (and because I thought at the time he first appeared that Martin’s books would prove vastly better than they did.)
Recently Ghost has begun showing up more often. I wondered why at first. Turns out, a neighbor close by has one-upped my offerings of healthy hard food and occasional real-meat, high-protein soft food. She has begin feeding him table scraps of ham and chicken.
Its a battle I don’t think I can win. And since he is a relatively anti-social, people-fearing cat content to take assistance while maintaining his distance, I have ceded her the victory. Also, the cat.
16/01/2013 at 20:50 SuicideKing says:
What engine, i wonder?
And at 1:56, kamehameha?
17/01/2013 at 07:19 Stan Lee Cube Rick says:
Hadoken! Hadoken! Hadoken! SHORYUKEN
16/01/2013 at 20:53 Soon says:
My life was already irredeemably changed after Kitty City
.
17/01/2013 at 00:02 Blackcompany says:
I don’t know whether to love you or hate you for introducing me to that….that…ah! I don’t even know what that was. Which might be a good thing.
17/01/2013 at 03:48 Matt_W says:
That can’t be unseen.
17/01/2013 at 15:11 Enkinan says:
My….Brain.
ow
17/01/2013 at 19:05 Asurmen says:
A friend of mine once advised me to never watch a cyriak video while off your head on drugs. As I don’t do drugs so the point was moot, but I’ve always been intrigued by what he saw.
16/01/2013 at 21:16 PearlChoco says:
Needs more teal. And maybe some orange.
16/01/2013 at 21:44 pakoito says:
Netbook friendly? Challenge accepted. BRB.
16/01/2013 at 21:55 pakoito says:
It throws an exception.
17/01/2013 at 03:54 Pray For Death says:
Exceptional performance, you mean
16/01/2013 at 21:46 Neskobar says:
Not entirely on-topic, I know, but this type of music is actually called Drumstep. It’s around 170bpm, rather than the usual 140bpm of Dubstep.
16/01/2013 at 22:01 shaydeeadi says:
The latter half is Drum & Bass too..
WubWubWubWub
17/01/2013 at 10:49 Wedge says:
Sorry, but I believe the technical term for the qualifying features of dubstep is WUBUBUBUUBUBWBUBUWUBWUBWUBWUBWBBLE WUUUUBUUUUBUUUBZZZBUUUUBZZZBUUU
Also if you are making electronic music with such specific categorizations, that’s a strong sign you are doing it wrong.
17/01/2013 at 12:46 Solidstate89 says:
I think you’ve got problems.
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lviaknAbZ41r71uaao1_500.png
17/01/2013 at 23:23 gwathdring says:
Poor guy … his friends are a bunch of elitist jerks whereas he actually thinks about the media he consumes.
This comic makes me sad. :(
17/01/2013 at 18:22 Phasma Felis says:
Hadn’t you heard? Anything electronic with a bassline is dubstep and therefore sucks. Someone should notify Daft Punk.
16/01/2013 at 22:01 grable says:
I especially enjoyed the black screen with sounds. So this aint for DX9 class cards i assume??
16/01/2013 at 22:34 Hmm-Hmm. says:
Cats with laser eyes.. what more can one ask for? That is.. I want one!
16/01/2013 at 22:42 Thoric says:
It was done in collaboration with Platige Image (the folks behind the Witcher and Cyberpunk CG trailers).
More about it here:
http://www.behance.net/gallery/CATZILLA/5796185
16/01/2013 at 23:16 Dominic White says:
Oooh, this is (at least in part) by Demoscene regulars Plastic, if the credits are to be believed. Always up for a little technical wizardry.
http://www.pouet.net/groups.php?which=3210
They’re not nearly the most prolific of groups, but they’re pretty cool.
17/01/2013 at 12:35 Artie Breakfast says:
The greets are in the first scene, on the slip of paper. So yes, it’s Bonzaj and Kinga and their band of talented people (:
Gloom/Excess has been going on about his music in it for some time now, and will undoubtably link to this article/or will have already.
It was first “released” last year at the “We Can” demoparty in Poland, and also shown at the MAIN demoparty in France and Outline in the Netherlands (I forget exactly if these were all 3 on the same weekend or if it was just we were in France and they also watched in the Netherlands, and Bonzaj had a full version or something at We Can. I was only at MAIN…
16/01/2013 at 23:34 P-Dazzle says:
Sounds more like Drumstep than Dubstep ;)
17/01/2013 at 00:03 demonalcohol says:
This is racist! Why the blackies always gotta be the bad guy… er…. kat?
17/01/2013 at 08:18 c-Row says:
Come on – Star Wars gave us thousands of white Stormtroopers and only one black guy in a robe.
17/01/2013 at 00:04 Blackcompany says:
I read somewhere, not long ago, that the internet is a lot like ancient Egypt:
People writing on walls and worshiping Cats.
Also, in LOL terms, isn’t this pretty much beginning of Catnarock, the Final Battle between Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat for all the Nip!?
17/01/2013 at 00:18 fearian says:
I know I’m going to just be that boring asshole, but it would help if you mentioned at any point what the actual program you have written this article about is called and who made it, rather than rely on a YouTube video which may not load at all depending on someone’s browser, device, or settings.
Okay carry on!
17/01/2013 at 08:41 Craig Pearson says:
It is a valid point. I usually do. Strange flub.
17/01/2013 at 02:10 Dominic White says:
Haha. I just re-watched it, and this is *totally* a demoscene production. The newspaper at the beginning is full of shout-outs to other crews.
17/01/2013 at 12:36 Artie Breakfast says:
ah, you found it on your own, right on (:
17/01/2013 at 03:04 geldonyetich says:
Never buy radioactive catnip. It’s cheaper, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
17/01/2013 at 17:37 jimbonbon says:
Oh damn it. Now I have to go run this when I get home simply because it is a benchmark. Getting on now in age, but this is still one of my favorite benchmarks, weird thought it is:
http://plastic-demo.nazwa.pl/wordpress/?p=183
Just a shame they never made it SLI capable.
Holy catnip… in looking for that link I just realised that this demo is actually by the same people! That might explain why it popped into my head having not run it for at least a year.