By Nathan Grayson on January 17th, 2013 at 2:00 pm.
I do so miss the days when the majority of videogame weapons were completely outrageous. Sure, today’s crop of Battlehomes and Medalfronts adore their reality-balking setpieces, but look up at their skies, and you’ll see that even the sun has donned its most serious warface. Comparatively extinct, then, is the cartoony carnage of Doom’s BFG – or, more recently, Painkiller’s, er, painkiller. Heck, even Far Cry 3 kept its open-world madness grounded with a fairly tame arsenal. It’s nice, then, to at least see its equally tear-prone cousin Crysis 3 go completely bonkers. The Typhoon apparently fires “500 bullets per second.” Its alt-fire, meanwhile, looks to be some kind of flame catapult. Watch as it wreaks havoc on an icky, sticky squid swamp after the break.
That was just silly. It reminds me of the time I created a shotgun machine-gun (yes) of near-apocalyptic caliber in Garry’s Mod, which is a favorable comparison so long as you don’t mind wielding a tiny god and treating fear as an entirely foreign concept.
As per always, Crytek’s crafted quite an attractive-looking environment, too. The swamp looks suitably sludge-ridden and hostile – spider-webbed by weeping roots that almost seem primed to reach out and choke you – and all the optional verticality’s a nice touch. That said, any semblance of spooky atmosphere Scooby-Doo-sprinted out of the room as soon as the Typhoon did its thing.
But still, if these Seven Wonders videos have proven anything, it’s that Crytek’s claims of environmental variety haven’t just been hot air. And while I enjoyed Crysis 2 decently enough, I did feel the big city’s concrete confines breathing down my neck a bit too often. So this is good news. No, it still really doesn’t feel like Crysis 1 by any stretch, but oh well. Different doesn’t mean bad. It just means different.
17/01/2013 at 14:08 f1x says:
Its hard to watch a game trailer when there is a big EA logo observing you
17/01/2013 at 14:48 GetUpKidAK says:
Is it? Are you sure?
17/01/2013 at 14:52 Chalky says:
What the hell is going on with that watermark anyway? Is someone at EA worried I’m going to re-upload this video and say “hey everyone look at this awesome game I made all by myself”?
17/01/2013 at 14:55 Ultra Superior says:
No, you’re supposed to click it and increase their miserable site rank.
18/01/2013 at 02:19 qitabebas says:
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17/01/2013 at 14:54 Ultra Superior says:
it’s the purest form of observation, and now – they’ve got a lot to see…
17/01/2013 at 15:46 ResonanceCascade says:
When you stare into the EA logo, the EA logo stares back.
17/01/2013 at 15:48 darkChozo says:
The hide annotations button is your friend. Though he’s a bit worried, you haven’t called him in a bit.
17/01/2013 at 16:39 f1x says:
For real, the A of EA winked provocatively
nasty logo.. I’m already married
17/01/2013 at 23:22 aDemandingPersona says:
I actually didn’t notice it with all the bullets and everything.
17/01/2013 at 14:10 Totally heterosexual says:
That sure is gun.
17/01/2013 at 15:07 Bennus says:
Totally gun.
17/01/2013 at 16:25 SighmanSays says:
Maximum gun.
17/01/2013 at 23:21 Freemon says:
GUNFACE!
17/01/2013 at 23:21 aDemandingPersona says:
Maxigun
18/01/2013 at 02:34 qwlphowo says:
I never liked the Redeemer much. Sure, it’s a big boom but you need a bunch of enemies clustered up to get more than one kill with the thing. The Quake 3 BFG felt much more super since you could fight several battles with the ammo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsyVKuElu1E
17/01/2013 at 14:13 Bhazor says:
It’s like how much more gun could this be? And the answer is like none. None more gun.
Edit: It is becoming clear that our education system has failed us in that people no longer know about Spinal Tap.
17/01/2013 at 14:21 RedViv says:
Well, maybe 0.13 gun, but that’s about it.
17/01/2013 at 14:29 Ginga121 says:
Who cares how much more gun it could be? The simple fact is… I’ll take 2 :D
17/01/2013 at 14:32 The Lord of Leisure says:
Surely for Crysis, it’s “Maximum gun”
17/01/2013 at 14:48 Shooop says:
But it doesn’t go up to 11 for that extra “Oomph”.
17/01/2013 at 19:38 F3ck says:
This pretentious ponderous collection of stupefying trailers is enough to prompt the question, ‘What day did the Lord create Crysis 3, and couldn’t he have rested on that day too?
17/01/2013 at 22:07 Bart Stewart says:
To put Spinal Tap back in the public’s face, what’s needed is Spinal Tap: The Game.
Suggested features:
* Do the Stonehenge Dance!
* Perform for a packed house of literally dozens of people!
* Go up to 11!
* Choke to death on someone else’s vomit!
* Die! (optional “Be The Drummer” DLC required)
17/01/2013 at 14:14 sinister agent says:
Seriously. There should be a blanket ban for five years on any new game that includes an AK47 or MP5. So boring.
17/01/2013 at 16:57 Rao Dao Zao says:
Amen to that. I knew the end was nigh when they removed the Ripper from UT.
17/01/2013 at 17:11 SanguineAngel says:
you get my vote for prime minister
18/01/2013 at 12:10 Lanfranc says:
And my gun!
(Oh wait, that’s not how it works…)
17/01/2013 at 17:16 elmo.dudd says:
Fun fact, Black Ops 2 contains neither of those guns in the multiplayer (there might be some in the Past levels of the single player). Nonetheless, Typhoon!
17/01/2013 at 18:00 maninahat says:
I agree. They’re on my list of least interesting arsenals in games, along with Desert Eagles, Glocks, SPASs, and M16s.
17/01/2013 at 18:21 pakoito says:
Remenber when we wanted WW2 FPSs to stop 5 years ago?
17/01/2013 at 22:45 Joshua says:
Half Life 2 has the MP7, the USP and the SPAS-12 – does that one count?
18/01/2013 at 14:02 sinister agent says:
As it happens, I found Half Life 2 very boring, and the weapons highly dissatisfying to use.
However, they did include some more interesting weapons, including of course the gravity gun, so they regain some points there. But some boring is still worse than no boring.
Unless you’re a miner, I guess.
17/01/2013 at 23:13 sharkh20 says:
I was a big fan of some of the weapons in the Turok series.
17/01/2013 at 14:18 vapsyvox says:
So it’s a portable Metalstorm. How about that.
17/01/2013 at 14:38 kwyjibo says:
In the alternate Crysis universe, Metal Storm never went bankrupt.
17/01/2013 at 14:19 Putrid says:
So they made a more advanced hand-held version of metal storm? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8hlj4EbdsE#t=0m20s
17/01/2013 at 14:23 Bhazor says:
My first thought too.
1 million bullets a second, essential for home defense.
17/01/2013 at 14:36 Jhoosier says:
Actually, 1 million rounds per minute. I mean, let’s not get crazy here.
17/01/2013 at 14:39 kwyjibo says:
Kind of a meaningless number when you just stack barrels on top of another. Rate of fire for a double barrelled shotgun would be similar if you just measured the first two rounds.
17/01/2013 at 14:43 SuicideKing says:
LOLFACE
17/01/2013 at 14:40 Monkey says:
THEY’LL TAKE MY METALSTORM FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!
17/01/2013 at 14:20 Baresark says:
I have to say, they have been pushing this bow thing a log, which seems utterly stupid when they were going have a genuinely fun and awesome gun in the game the whole time. Don’t get me wrong, I love shooting a bow in real life. It’s really freakin’ awesome, but I don’t want to play a video game that lets me shoot something I can shoot in real life. I want weapon exploration. After watching some of these videos I have to seriously reconsider my position on this game.
17/01/2013 at 14:47 reggiep says:
I’m pretty psyched for the bow. It’s stealthy, and will be able to work with a lot of different ammo types — like explosive arrows. The bow will probably be available the entire game while the Typhoon will probably only make an appearance towards the end. Plus, the rate at which it consumes ammo will likely make it a limited use weapon.
Either way, I’m glad they are having some actually interesting weapons this time around.
17/01/2013 at 23:26 Lord Custard Smingleigh says:
It’s clear that what today’s discerning gamer wants is a bow that fires 500 arrows per second.
17/01/2013 at 14:22 Daedalus29 says:
This gun exist, kind of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEu9LLQpOF8
Ah, and in the video, the gun doesnt have a alt fire, he just ripped the head of the alien cockroach, and use it as a flamethrower.
17/01/2013 at 14:23 Gnoupi says:
“I am Heavy Weapons Guy. And this… is my weapon. She weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom-tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute.
It cost $400,000 to fire this weapon…for 12 seconds.”
17/01/2013 at 19:18 x3m157 says:
Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe… *sniff* maybe.
I have yet to see one who can outsmart bullet.
17/01/2013 at 14:24 Mr. Mister says:
I believe there was a mod for Fallout 3 called “Minigun that Shoots Chainsaws that Explode”.
17/01/2013 at 14:29 Utgaardsloke says:
Two things Nathan:
1. It seems like some form of a Metal Storm-like design, weapons that does exists today (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Storm)
2. The “alt fire” is another, alien weapon the protagonist picks up.
17/01/2013 at 14:32 Lambchops says:
My favourite gunniest gun is probably the Redeemer from UT. Although the minigun in that game was awesome as well. And the flak cannon. And the ripper. And the bio gun. And the shock rifle. And the impact hammer (ok it’s not a gun).
Basically UT’s weapons were great. Apart from the enforcers of course.
17/01/2013 at 17:31 elmo.dudd says:
Buzzwha? The Enforcers were great, such a good feel, and fun with headshots. I was so sad when UT2k3 came out and they replaced it with the machine gun.
17/01/2013 at 17:36 LionsPhil says:
Yeah, and if you got a pair of them akimbo and could reliably land headshots, they were more lethal than the dang minigun.
17/01/2013 at 23:27 Lord Custard Smingleigh says:
Oh the many hours I played on Morpheus laughing as people spray minigun fire at me at long range, wasting dozens of bullets, while I place 5-6 shots carefully into their right eyeball with the Enforcer.
17/01/2013 at 18:11 Lambchops says:
Yeah they were better than the machine gun that’s for sure.
17/01/2013 at 17:57 KDR_11k says:
I never liked the Redeemer much. Sure, it’s a big boom but you need a bunch of enemies clustered up to get more than one kill with the thing. The Quake 3 BFG felt much more super since you could fight several battles with the ammo.
17/01/2013 at 18:12 elmo.dudd says:
Quake2 BFG in CTF. Fire that into the enemy base and watch them scatter – and then watch as the BFG ball fires tracking lasers at them, signaling where defenders were hiding as you ride in behind it. It isn’t so much a gun as it is an armed convoy leading you in. That then explodes killing anyone near it.
Also, BFG Jump.
17/01/2013 at 14:36 buzzmong says:
Hah, reminds me of the Imperial Repeater from the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight games.
17/01/2013 at 14:40 SuperNashwanPower says:
I wish it had the metalstorm BRAAP sound. That’s cool.
Also weapons like this always have next to no ammo. You’ll be out after a few squids
17/01/2013 at 14:43 fallingmagpie says:
This is exactly the kind of high capacity magazine assault weapon that Congress needs to ban. Write to your representative today!
17/01/2013 at 14:49 Sc0r says:
Even with uber-strength armor, I wish it’d have a little recoil.
You can be as strong as you want, without a sturdy stance, you’d topple like an idiot.
17/01/2013 at 16:16 DK says:
What that video showed wasn’t game footage by the way. The camera moves independantly of the weapons aim. It was completely fake footage made to look like game footage.
17/01/2013 at 14:52 woodsey says:
And yet, I feel as if I’ve just watched a three minute video demoing a machine gun like any other.
17/01/2013 at 15:03 Bhazor says:
It pretty much does look your stand issue machine gun.
Why can’t we have the Resistance arsenal be in every game? Every gun in that game has some tweak to it like bouncing razor blades, or bullets that become faster as they pass through walls and so on. This is just a machine gun that fires slightly faster to the point its basically a shot gun.
17/01/2013 at 22:53 Squishpoke says:
I was really impressed with Resistance’s gun design as well.
17/01/2013 at 15:02 RaptorEchelon says:
It goes to eleven
17/01/2013 at 15:05 RC-1290'Dreadnought' says:
I wonder if Crytek is planning to make a sequel to Crysis at any point.
17/01/2013 at 15:14 mseifullah says:
Well they said that they’re already thinking about part fou — Oooooh, I see what you did there.
17/01/2013 at 17:21 ResonanceCascade says:
They did, it was called WARFA — er, head.
17/01/2013 at 15:08 jryan says:
That weapon isn’t really far fetched. It’s just designed off of the existing weapon “Metal Storm”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFjGbOyd2ek
The flame thrower, on the other hand, has a Moe Szyslak feal to it.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg9hllKgp11qc63sno1_400.jpg
17/01/2013 at 15:10 Chris D says:
That does look quite impressive but unless it can also fly after enemies while shooting them before exploding while I also shoot them with a cloned version of itself then I’m just going to have to stick with my shotgun from Borderlands 2.
17/01/2013 at 15:14 marsilainen says:
The always-efficient flamethrower. Mah favorite.
17/01/2013 at 15:17 Moni says:
“The culmination of 2000 years of warfare.”
Prophet is a creationist?
17/01/2013 at 15:22 FurryLippedSquid says:
Anyone else want to post about Metal Storm?
17/01/2013 at 15:54 jryan says:
Metal Storm is important information that can’t wait for a proper thread readin’
17/01/2013 at 15:23 DickSocrates says:
“This gun is so full of bullets, it will make you ejaculate and high-five your frat brah at the same time.”
This trailer has had its tongue surgically removed and buried on a distant world. Not to mention, it’s hard to get excited about an in-game gun that sounds like spitting seeds out of your mouth and does it so quickly you can’t see or feel any of the supposed ‘awesome’. The Doom shotgun makes you feel powerful, this just makes enemies look weak.
17/01/2013 at 18:06 elmo.dudd says:
The Doom shotgun feels awesome until you meet a pinky when it can take up to 3 shots (if your aim isn’t spot on) to kill, and if it didn’t happen with that, it would feel weak when you meet your first Baron. Hopefully Crytek has this gun come in later, when you’ve gotten a sense for how strong the enemies are and thus can appreciate its output.
The chaingun in Quake2 made the Gunners and Gladiators feel weak – but until you get it, they take some punishment.
17/01/2013 at 15:24 Monkeh says:
Is it possible to die in this game?
17/01/2013 at 15:47 Chris D says:
No, but you can lose if you haven’t completed the mission when the crippling back pain finally overcomes you.
17/01/2013 at 15:54 D3xter says:
I believe you just get increasing amounts of bloody screen.
17/01/2013 at 23:29 Lord Custard Smingleigh says:
If you’re sufficiently manly, the only effect being shot has on your body is blood seeping from your eyeballs.
17/01/2013 at 15:36 Hunchback says:
I approve of this kinda weapon in a shooter, as with the posts general theme. Gief back absurd guns that wreck havoc. Redneck Rampage, Serious Sam, Doom… GIEF BACK~!!!1
17/01/2013 at 15:40 x1501 says:
Can I have one for hunting and home defense?
17/01/2013 at 16:16 Ergates_Antius says:
A machinegun that fires shotguns? Win! Winnier if the shotguns fire pistols that fire sharks, with laser beams for eyes.
17/01/2013 at 22:51 Squishpoke says:
The AA12 is a fully automatic shotgun.
18/01/2013 at 06:20 f1x says:
But is it a shotgun that fires shotguns?
17/01/2013 at 17:12 Crazy Hippo says:
but its firing airgun pellets!!
also the machine gun shotgun was in syndicate remake in co-op http://torvenius.deviantart.com/art/Syndicate-Concept-MJOLNIR-H-O-G-Beltfed-A-ShotG-280480589
17/01/2013 at 17:36 Smoky_the_Bear says:
There is no way from the sound of it that this gun is firing 500 rounds a second though, not saying it doesnt look cool but they needed to pick a smaller number, lol.
18/01/2013 at 14:27 Droopy The Dog says:
You might be able to explain away the sound being so low frequency by just saying all 10(?) barrels are firing simultaineously. But even for 3000rpm it doesn’t really sound droney enough.
17/01/2013 at 17:37 Pray For Death says:
Yeah yea the game looks pretty and all, but I just can’t shake the feeling that this is Crysis 2.5, rather than 3.
17/01/2013 at 17:53 MadTinkerer says:
Oh please. That is not “as gun” as the weapon I made in the Worms 2 Weapon Editor: The Gatling Homing Atomic Bomb Launcher.
We had thought the Cluster Holy Hand Grenade was too much until we thought of the GHABL. We were wrong.
17/01/2013 at 19:14 rockman29 says:
It looks like how they would describe flechettes from a science fiction novel.
Which is to say pretty awesome. Althought usually the flechettes are sharp, though just as numerous!
17/01/2013 at 19:21 SuperNashwanPower says:
Weren’t the Flesh-ettes the girls who used to dance behind Kenny Everett?
Oh no that was Hot Gossip.
17/01/2013 at 19:47 F3ck says:
I’m actually a bit nauseous watching this…does EA really think we take our alien gibs this seriously?
…like watching a recruitment film…these trailers are intended to mop up the potential marines left behind by CoD and BF3…I thought these were supposed to be fun Mr. Seriousvoice?
I’m calling it now…I hate this game.
The more they want me to care…the more I appreciate my Borderlands…
edit: also, the nuclear chain-gun mod from FNV makes this look like a super-soaker…
17/01/2013 at 19:56 SuperNashwanPower says:
Seriously, this turned you off that much? To me it seems very different to the OORAH type games, way too hammy and over the top to be taking it self actually seriously. I dunno, I just love the crysis tech-porn style!
I also have an irrational hope that it will scratch the open world shooter itch that Far Cry 3 didnt scratch. I know, irrational ….
17/01/2013 at 21:01 Shooop says:
A little early and harsh to say you hate the game already isn’t it?
Other than that I do agree it is taking itself way too seriously. Especially when weapons like that need a much less “SO DARK AND GRITTY TM” so we can really enjoy them.
I’m not liking what I’m seeing so far either but I’m not ready to slap a “Hated it!” label on it and call it day yet.
17/01/2013 at 21:53 Fallward says:
EA Project Manager: “Hey, let’s create a really fun gun”
EA Designers: “How about a machine gun with a high rate of fire?”
EA Project Manager: “OMG that’s PERFECT, so UNIQUE”
Meanwhile UT and Quake developers facepalm.
17/01/2013 at 22:48 Squishpoke says:
^ This guy has said everything I was going to say.
17/01/2013 at 23:53 Geen says:
^This guy has said everything I was going to say about that guy.
18/01/2013 at 12:15 Lanfranc says:
^These guys.
18/01/2013 at 07:53 Rawrian says:
Bah! Once I’ve edited Doom 2′s double barrelled shotgun by tinkering with frame speeds and such in some program which name I forgot. Now THAT was a gun. This one’s just a glorified machinegun.