CLOSEDBETAFACE

By Nathan Grayson on January 18th, 2013 at 5:00 pm.

This is completely inaccurate! The Nintendo 3DS so doesn't require 3D glasses. Get it together, Crytek. Jeez.

Here at RPS, we like to have a little fun every once in a while, but it’s time for real talk: Warface is no laughing matter. It afflicts several billion people per day, and chronic Warface has stumped even the techno-magic of modern medicine for years. Recently, it took Alec from us. Now he just sits in a corner all day, banging his head against the wall and mumbling about how he “must forever live in the shadow of his own Sistine Chapel.” And well, you’ve seen what it does to RPS comment threads. Really, it’s a misnomer: Warface is actually a disease of the mind. An apparition of the soul. Friends don’t let friends face Warface face war war war face far wace wa rface w arfac e.

W… who am I? I’ve suddenly forgotten everything about myself. Oh, but I do have this note saying Warface is now in closed beta. Seems innocent enough.

So servers are now live, and you can take a shot at joining by signing up over at Warface’s official website. Be warned, however: it features a military man contemplatively staring at a dust-and-ash-coated skull in a distinctly Shakespearean fashion. Try not to get distracted by that, though. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to sign up, play, and find out what whiplash-inducing twists of dramatic circumstance brought him to that sobering point.

From the sound of things, the beta includes both standard manshoot-y PvP and a “frequently updated” co-op PvE universe. “Why do we war?” I hope its characters query of their unthinking skull sidekicks. “And indeed, why do we face?”

At any rate, Crytek’s giant leap into its much-vaunted free-to-play future begins here, so I imagine it’ll be pouring quite a lot of time and money into this one’s success. For its part, the closed beta is running until some nebulous day in “spring 2013,” at which point it’ll officially launch for everyone. And on that day– WAIT. I remember! I’m Nathan Grayson. I used to be someone. I used to be an actual human being – not a puppet for this insidious w… wuh… wuh… wuh.

Warface? Warface. Warface!

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72 Comments »

  1. jonfitt says:

    Oh no, here it comes.

  2. Deathmaster says:

    Must. resist. urge.. to.. make… bad… joke….
    ….
    JOKERESISTINGFACE

  3. Mr. Mister says:

    …is that freelancer wearing 3D googles?

    • Pony Canyon says:

      You say that as if you aren’t wearing 3D goggles yourself.

      You are wearing your military-issue 3D goggles, aren’t you?

    • Tams80 says:

      It does indeed look like he has old style 3D glasses on is face.

      Has a he got a warface on though? We shall never know as I doubt he takes them off, as he can’t face the war he’d have to face. He is thus at war with his face.

    • SuicideKing says:

      3DFACE

  4. Squishpoke says:

    WARFACE.

  5. Dominic White says:

    From what I played of the Russian version a while back, the co-op is both brutally hard, and surprisingly fun. It’s basically Crysis minus the nanosuits, and a focus on chewing through tons of soldiers and the occasional boss in power-armor or a full sized mech.

    • FakeAssName says:

      I found it something like Quake wars with a more convoluted class system … but I barely made it through the training course and stoped there … there was just too much about the class functions I didn’t understand.

    • Gorf says:

      sounds good

  6. LXM says:

    I only managed about 10 minutes before quitting. It seemed like an incredibly generic F2P shooter (and I enjoy a good shooter) with little/nothing to offer…even the graphics were sub-par.

    Anyone with slightly more patience than me have any insight as to why this might be worth a second chance?

    *edit – I was also extremely disappointed that the “Choose your Soldier” screen wasn’t called “Choose your Face”

    • NailBombed says:

      Think you meant to say…. AW, FARCE.

    • Dominic White says:

      Were you playing the same game? Because sub-par graphics? It’s fractionally less pretty than Crysis 2. There’s a good screenshot gallery here http://www.polygon.com/2012/10/19/3528132/warface-screenshots#!/3884541 – for some reason, they seem to have anti-aliasing and some of the heavier post-processing effects off, too.

      • LXM says:

        Fractionally less pretty than Crysis 2? Sorry but I experienced exactly what’s in those screenshots and I think it looks dated and clunky and not even close to the visuals of Crysis 2.

        Considering all the talk of AAA production values I didn’t expect them to mean AAA circa 2006 (and yes I understand this is still in beta)

  7. devil_92 says:

    I think partily why i am so intressted in this game is because i have not been able to actually play it :P

  8. FakeAssName says:

    I signed up for the beta well before that Gface thing was a twinkle in cryteck’s eye, do I still have to sing up for Gface to get in the beta?

  9. Shooop says:

    I played the Russian release.

    The co-op is really well-done, but there’s only 2-3 maps for it! The PvP is hampered by the smallest maps I’ve ever seen and there’s very few of those too.

    It’s free-to-play for good reason folks. Not a terrible way to kill an hour or so, but it doesn’t have any staying power.

    • Kasab says:

      I downloaded the Russian client many moons ago and had a lot of fun with it. I see all these announcements for a beta release and get horribly confused, because I realise that I’m not Russian and I’m just far too previous. Sometimes, though? I hear those voices at the back of my mind- maybe I’m actually a Soviet spy, and maybe the rest of the this world isn’t keeping pace. Maybe I have a killswitch or there’s a score of sleeper agents I must contact. Maybe the Soviet Union is a dead entity.

      Oh, and maybe Warface is more than just an average shooter. Maybe not.

      • Shooop says:

        It mostly is with a few nice features, especially the well-made co-op mode. But its biggest problem is the lack of content – there’s only so many times you can play two maps in your favorite game mode before it gets tedious.

        Unless they plan some serious post-release support it’s not long for this world.

  10. MOKKA says:

    Now I wonder how a ‘CLOSEDBETAFACE’ would look like…

    • Premium User Badge

      cpt_freakout says:

      LIKE A WAR OF FACES FULL OF BUGS

      • gwathdring says:

        Well and exuberantly stated, Soldier. That’s one hell of a Warface you’ve got there. Keep up the good work.

  11. x1501 says:

    I don’t see any women on the screenshot.

    MISOGYNYFACE?

  12. Tei says:

    Is this soldier using 3D glasses?

  13. lijenstina says:

    Someone makes a pun
    someone else takes a binary gun
    shoot the other in the binary face
    bullets drop on the skull like a mace

    Warface, warface

    Fun with a virtual guns
    not like the Hitman’s S&M Nuns
    Here you do stuff
    like killing others
    with no story fluff
    obeying orders
    crossing borders
    invading others

    Warface, warface
    why the sad face
    they’ll vanish without trace
    then you can wear a nighty and black lace
    on a night out in the bar near the base

    Have a lot of fun
    while thinking about a different kind of gun
    Next time you’ll dress like the Hitman’s Nun

  14. Fazer says:

    I have a theory why F2P games seem to be so popular. In normal “pay to play” games, the only players counted are the ones who bought it while pirates are ignored. However, we know that they can consist of even 80-90% of the fanbase, so when F2P games include them in the calculations (because there’s little point in pirating them), suddenly they seem to have much larger audiences.

    • x1501 says:

      I’m not sure I’m convinced. Why would hardcore pirates waste their time on some crappy F2P game when they have a full library of high-quality AAA titles to choose from? It’s probably people on very limited budgets and casual gamers on antique machines who are chiefly interested in games like this.

      • Kitsuninc says:

        As a once-pirate (From when I was a kid with a computer and loads of time but ~$100 a year credit card budget) I can say that pirates still play F2P games. Usually for a multiplayer fix since you can’t really play pirated online games. Also because why not? There are a lot of F2Ps like League of Legends, Tribes: Ascend, and Hawken, that are easily on par with AAA releases.

    • Premium User Badge

      darkChozo says:

      Most (all?) F2P games are multiplayer, so piracy doesn’t really factor into a lot of their P2P equivalents in a particularly meaningful way. Also, it’s pretty obvious that a F2P game is going to have a larger audience than if it was P2P; that’s basically why the format exists, it allows you to maintain a healthy playerbase by having a very low barrier to entry. The important thing from a business standpoint (ie. the standpoint that explains why companies are going F2P) is whether it makes money or not, which it clearly does (re: any of the major F2P games).

  15. ArtyFishal says:

    Played a little yesterday. Co-op was surprisingly fun. the medic’s shotgun is very satisfying to use. it’s a beastly thing that makes you feel like a bad ass.

    • Premium User Badge

      corinoco says:

      What, it makes you refuse to pull the cart? Spit out all your carrots? You’re a bad, bad ass.

  16. diamondmx says:

    Anyone else think they should make this a deathmatch headbutt game?

  17. Premium User Badge

    Gap Gen says:

    Awesome writeup.

  18. Hunchback says:

    I started snickering immediately after reading the tittle of this post, then couldn’t stop while reading the rest, then i knew what the comments would be like, then i read the first one and i couldn’t help it but laugh… Then it all went to my face :D

  19. TCM says:

    Poor Alec must really have egg on his WARFACE.

  20. jryan says:

    War…. war never faces.

  21. Premium User Badge

    quietone says:

    FACEBOOK

    *shudders*

  22. Premium User Badge

    corinoco says:

    The Russian release?

    Pfft. I’ve been playing the Kiribati version since last Tuesday.

    It’s not so much war face as ‘oh fuck my island is sinking knee’

  23. Premium User Badge

    corinoco says:

    Warface?

    ARROWKNEE!

  24. 1Life0Continues says:

    YAWNFACE

  25. Universal Quitter says:

    “Warface is actually a disease of the mind. An apparition of the soul. Friends don’t let friends face Warface face war war war …”

    I hope I wasn’t the only person that thought, “Are you my mummy?”