Part-Man, Part-Washing-Machine: Legend Of Knightwasher

By Nathan Grayson on February 1st, 2013 at 9:00 am.

'A tale of knightly washing machine who goes on crusade against a false king who took the crown by chopping both old king and his knights to death.' Yes, that is a sentence someone wrote. Then they decided to make a game about it.

Sometimes, it takes a true visionary to notice a gaping hole in the entertainment landscape and jam a cork into it, quivering with purpose. Who’d have thought BioShock would work except Ken Levine? Or heck, even Mario’s a positively mad idea on paper. And jeez, whoever first suggested we should try stuffing tiny, pixelated games into monitors was probably insane on some level. So who am I to say Legend of the Knightwasher – which is, in fact, about a washing machine who’s also a medieval knight – won’t take the world by storm in the same fashion? It’s just crazy enough to be the next big thing. Or maybe just the next small thing, but clad in glorious, gleaming plate that’s probably gone through at least three rinse cycles. Either way, it looks positively bonkers. Trailer after the break.

Yes, it’s real. And, with some fine-tuning, the physics-based washing machine joust-flopping even looks like it could be kind of fun. But come on, we all know why you’re really here. That’s right: for the heavy hitting, Game-of-Thrones-worthy drama.

“At the end of the barbarian wars one of the King’s knights betrayed his brothers. He marched through the city, through the gates to the royal castle, murdering every knight in his wake. As he arrived to the throne room there stood the Knightwasher, general and advisor of Crownwasher, the King and also the noble lord Torl the Redshredder. The battle was short, Darkwasher, the evil knight had employed services of unknown washers. The beastly machines in his service were near immortal and their strikes shook the ground.”

So basically, Knightwasher and Crownwasher died, but Crownwasher gave Knightwasher a second lease on life by wishing for a loophole in Death’s rules and… yeah, it actually sounds kind of great. It’s true what no one has ever said they say: washing machines really do make everything better!

Moment-to-moment, it sounds like Legend of the Knightwasher will be a co-op-friendly hack ‘n’ slash ‘n’ washer. So expect exploration, loot, party members, and honestly I have no idea what else because we’re kind of in uncharted territory here.

Developer Detocroix is aiming for a June 2013 release, but LotK’s Steam Greenlight page claims something playable will awkwardly tip over on its side while attempting to storm our walls sometime before release. You can go see a bit more of it there, if you’d like. Including poetry! Indeed, have you ever clapped eager eyes on finer odes to vengeance-fueled undead household appliances? Wait, really? Where? I want to go to there.

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74 Comments »

  1. f1x says:

    This looks so stupid that it could be awesome

  2. Premium User Badge

    piphil says:

    Anyone else reminded of the robotic traffic warden in the original Wallace and Grommit?

    • Premium User Badge

      Screwie says:

      Yep! And I was having Robot Wars flashbacks when he was brandishing that axe, too.

    • Koozer says:

      Gah, seems a million other people have gotten here first, but wait, I have video!

  3. I want to stab you to death and play around with your blood. says:

    I hope the price won’t deter gents from giving this a spin.

    • trout says:

      i am soaper excited about this! if they manage to iron out the kinks, and make sure the core gameplay isn’t watered down, it sounds like it might turn out allwhite

      • Persus-9 says:

        It looks like it should be good cleaning fun and potentially awash with new ideas as well. I just hope the combat isn’t too rinse and repeat.

    • Premium User Badge

      Llewyn says:

      Persilally, I take real Comfort from the fact that there are developers willing to be so Bold. It’s Ariel change in a world so full of clones.

      • doggod101 says:

        I’m sorry, but are you trying to make puns or are you just spelling stuff wrong?

        • Aaarrrggghhh says:

          I hate to spoil jokes but:
          Those are laundry detergents. (Just little known outside Europe. A quick Google search would have revealed that within a minute)

          • doggod101 says:

            They don’t show up as anything unless your specifically searching for laundry detergent which would require knowing what it was in the first place.

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            Llewyn says:

            If only there’d been a hint in the thread, eh?

        • Eddy9000 says:

          Most Lenor-mal people would work it out, his puns were Daz-zelingly obvious.

    • Kefren says:

      There’s certainly a danger of them taking a tumble if they can’t fulfill their promises.

      • Premium User Badge

        corinoco says:

        Yes, if their trailer turns out to be a load of froth and lather, they’ll be taken to the cleaners and hung out to dry.

    • Premium User Badge

      Gap Gen says:

      Dishwasher game I wanted to see a long time ago.

  4. Scytale says:

    Some developers have been watching too much Scrapheap Challenge!

  5. doggod101 says:

    Oh dear god it’s so charming.

  6. Duke of Chutney says:

    very reminiscent of Wallace and Gromit’s the Grand Day Out

  7. Anguy says:

    When something like this happens I just have to believe in coincidence:
    I’m currently sitting here waiting for a guy do deliver a new washing mashine when I see that trailer with a couple of washing mashines bashing each other’s lids in, hilarious!

  8. MrThingy says:

    EDIT – This comment was a reply to another post ZAT VOZ REMOVED BY ZE GESHTAPPO VILE I VAZ TYPINGZ!

    In other news, this looks great!

  9. vondas says:

    If the quality of music, character design and gameplay shown persists throughout, I think I’ve found my game of the year.

  10. bitbot says:

    Sorry bout my last post (it was removed). I didn’t know you’re not allowed to say a game looks bad on here.

    • ankh says:

      You must be fun at parties.

      • Premium User Badge

        Ninja Dodo says:

        Though this has fallen by the wayside a bit recently with the influx of hordes of angry commenters on controversial topics, RPS has always generally frowned upon drive-by “I don’t care/I hate this” posts, because they are basically a waste of everyone’s time. Thoughtful criticism is great, but if something is just not for you, it’s better to move on and post about something you do care about.

        [edit: meant to reply to bitbot]

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      Llewyn says:

      Of course you are, but that wasn’t what you said or how you said it. If you’d said something more like…

      The concept’s mildly amusing but that trailer doesn’t suggest the gameplay will be anything exciting, and the graphic style looks a bit bland as well.

      …then I suspect no-one would have cared much. You’d probably even have got some people agreeing with you.

      Instead your comment came off more as…

      This game sucks and you all suck for liking it.

      …which doesn’t contribute much to enlightened discussions.

      • bitbot says:

        Hm, that’s strange because I thought it came out more like your first example. I certainly didn’t say everyone else sucked for liking it.

  11. kael13 says:

    *beep beep beep beep beep beep*

    “I’m coming washing machine, I’m blooody coming.”

    • Askeladd says:

      Just wait. It’ll die down eventually. I speak from experience with those wet soap boxes.

  12. ludotex says:

    Looks silly and fun. Looks like there might be some claptrap quality to it too.

  13. frightlever says:

    Nah. It’s a well known fact that washing machines are so complicated that only wimmin can work them.

    • vondas says:

      This sounds dirty somehow.

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      Lorewin says:

      Designed by a man, but simple enough even for a woman to use!

      (courtesy of the show Mad Men)

    • Guvornator says:

      Misogynist! I found one! John, I found one!! Dear God, I actually found one!!!! JOOOOHHHHNNNNNNNN!!!!!

      • vondas says:

        Isn’t he actually a misandrist for implying dumb, brutish men are incapable of using such intricate technology as washing machines?

        Because personally I’m offended. :P

        • Premium User Badge

          Llewyn says:

          Why? Are you a dumb, brutish man?

          • Askeladd says:

            Aren’t we all? That’s at least what I heard from some wimmin.

        • Guvornator says:

          Hey! I’m a man and I use a washing machine all the time. Admittedly It’s hard to fit into, especially with your clothes on…(I’m here all night, laydeezngennelmen)

  14. MOKKA says:

    This somehow reminds me of this Adventure Game I once played, where the Player character was a walking frying pan.

  15. Christo4 says:

    Sometimes i don’t like all these MP games, but this would be so awesome in MP! battling with 20 other washing machines, jousting around, completing objectives or even going 10 players vs 100 ai would be so funny. Ah, lan parties, i miss you so.

  16. Premium User Badge

    neofit says:

    It HAS to be voiced by the guy behind ClapTrap, and I HAVE to be his minion.

  17. Kefren says:

    I like the GLC ref in the title.

  18. Kamikaze-X says:

    WASHFACE

  19. karthink says:

    Time to crate: Oh

  20. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    Huh. I’m not sure if it’s awesome or just random.

    Also, I think, “washing machines really do make everything better” is pretty much what I said when I got a washing machine in my apartment.

  21. SanguineAngel says:

    Yes. That is all

  22. Mctittles says:

    Doesn’t look half bad; Surprising!

  23. Shooop says:

    It’s an amusing concept, but that’s really all we know about it unfortunately.

  24. Eddy9000 says:

    I would love it if health packs were represented by boxes of Calgon; because washing machines live longer with Calgon.

    • Detocroix says:

      Eddy9000 : Actually if you use liquid soap instead of the dry soap, it’s the best option for your washing machine and it makes the clothes softest and cleaniest :)

      • Askeladd says:

        What does that have to do anything with a water softener for washing machines? I’m interested in your answer.

        • Detocroix says:

          Well, all you need is liquid soap. If you use anything else, your washing machine cries.

  25. Berzee says:

    I’m throwing my laundry at the screen but nothing is happening.

    • Askeladd says:

      You have to supply the water before applying the clothes. The next step after adding your dirty underwear is applying the soap.

  26. Rawrian says:

    Interesting. Reminds me of this movie about a KILLER TIRE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVKgY1ilx0Y (it’s not a spam link and should lead directly to movie trailer on Youtube).

    • SuperNashwanPower says:

      Thats the qualifier that all actual spams should add to their links. “THIS LINK IS SO TOTALLY NOT SPAM. NUH UH. NEVER NOT NO SPAM”.

      **click**

      Totally spam.

    • Galwraith says:

      Rubber is even more insane than the premise would lead you to believe.

  27. gwathdring says:

    :D

  28. Phantoon says:

    A QWUESHT!