By Alec Meer on February 12th, 2013 at 1:00 pm.
Things that would happen in the best of all possible worlds:
- Cats would empty their own litter trays
- Israel and Palestine would mutually agree “screw it, let’s have a fancy dress party instead”
- People would read the article before commenting
- McVities would bring back Marmite-flavoured Mini Cheddars
- LEGO approves and manufactures this proposed FTL building set
LEGO Cuusoo is the community project-voting system which brought about the official LEGO Minecraft set last year. While FTL isn’t anything like the pop-cultural giant Mojang’s game is, I reckon it’s got enough of a following to make this plausible. Also, its chunky, reconfigurable spaceships and cutsey crew would seem to fit the LEGO ideals and aesthetic to a galactic tee.
I don’t know how many votes are needed for the great LEGO gods to raise their infinite yellow heads from the beneath the seas of Denmark and nod in almighty approval, but I’m pretty sure the at-the-time-of-writing 144 won’t be enough. So, get on it! The proposed project even includes Mantis and Engi crew members in addition to semi-iconic spacecraft such as the Kestrel.
Of course, if it’s anything like the Minecraft set it’ll be pornographically overpriced if it does happen. I went into a LEGO store with the express intention of buying one a couple of weeks ago, and my bellow of outrage when the shop assistant brought it over to me caused him to physically recoil. Sure, it looks relatively reasonable on the site, but when you actually see the thing the box is about the size of a kitten’s head. Dear Mr and Mrs LEGO, you are primarily a children’s toy, not a cuboid Faberge egg. Please remember this.
Thanks for the tip, Arthur.
12/02/2013 at 13:03 GameStunts says:
I didn’t like Marmite-flavoured Mini Cheddars, now what does the rest of this article say…
12/02/2013 at 13:06 KikiJiki says:
Anyone that likes marmite is a troglodyte.
It rhymes, therefore it is truth.
12/02/2013 at 14:05 Stranglove says:
Anyone who to marmite would quoth ‘I decline’
Must surely be considered a philistine
12/02/2013 at 14:32 Lanfranc says:
Sir, I beg your pardon if I digress
from the discussion, but I must confess:
A single whiff of Marmite certainly will drive
any man of taste to utter distress.
12/02/2013 at 15:46 jkz says:
Anything in moderation, just don’t spread it on like it’s fugging jam.
12/02/2013 at 17:22 Ergates_Antius says:
Pfft! If it’s not burning your tongue, you’re doing it wrong…
12/02/2013 at 13:04 BobbyDylan says:
TL: DR.
12/02/2013 at 13:27 KingCathcart says:
FTL; DR
12/02/2013 at 15:05 Syra says:
FTL: engaged
12/02/2013 at 13:06 bleeters says:
I need this in my life.
12/02/2013 at 13:08 TechnicalBen says:
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *dribbles* gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
That was the literal noise I made when I saw this. I WILL BUY THIS. That is the most awesome and cutest lego ever!
12/02/2013 at 13:10 Jams O'Donnell says:
This is very nice & as a big FTL fan I’d contemplate getting it if the price was right* and it makes me want to link my preferred LEGO porn — the site will eat up your day if you’re of a LEGO-y disposition, especially if you like mecha and spaceships: http://www.brothers-brick.com
* it won’t be — Cuusoo stuff always seems overpriced**
** or at least that’s what you think before you realise that all LEGO is overpriced now
12/02/2013 at 13:25 DrAmateurScience says:
I nearly clicked that link. But then I remembered that I need to be productive today.
12/02/2013 at 13:47 RaiderJoe says:
LEGO has always been overpriced, at least as long as I’ve been aware of them (admittedly not very long, as I’m only a teenager.) But it seems that CUUSO is especially so; maybe they make them in smaller batches?
12/02/2013 at 23:33 Tams80 says:
I wouldn’t say LEGO is overpriced considering the quality of it. I’ve never had a bad new brick. Ones that are old and have been chewed on, sure aren’t great (though usually still work), but new bricks are just fine. Compare to say Megablox or whatever it’s called and you can clearly see the difference.
12/02/2013 at 14:04 Optimaximal says:
LEGO isn’t actually overpriced. Your perception of reality and money has just changed.
http://therealityprose.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/what_happened_with_lego/
12/02/2013 at 14:19 Jams O'Donnell says:
No, I just didn’t have to buy my own LEGO as a child. Stupid growing up, man. It ruins everything.
12/02/2013 at 16:29 Universal Quitter says:
Fuck your statistics. I remember the day LEGOs doubled in price, quite clearly, when the lady at Rite-AID explained to 10-year old me that they would no longer sell “opened items” for half-price, but that she would be glad to fetch me an unopened one.
Apparently, they had started to get suspicious…
12/02/2013 at 20:02 Joshua Northey says:
That is really a tremendous article. I remember those castle/pirate legos from 1989-1992 or so so fondly, though I was wise enough about money to know even then (around age 9) that my grandparents were blowing unconscionable amounts of money on them.
13/02/2013 at 09:31 finbikkifin says:
Also, wage stagnation is really screwing a lot of people.
12/02/2013 at 14:27 squareking says:
Also consider that Lego are pretty precisely engineered/machined and colors don’t fade (on the whole). Sure, they’re making bank but it’s a quality product.
12/02/2013 at 14:41 drakkenson says:
@* it won’t be — Cuusoo stuff always seems overpriced**
“Cuso” means “Oh Shit” in Japanese… :)
12/02/2013 at 13:11 rustybroomhandle says:
It needs big build versions of the ships, complete with different rooms.
12/02/2013 at 14:02 Hoaxfish says:
and a way for it to graceful break into each piece when you want to destroy it
12/02/2013 at 13:18 randomkeyhits says:
McVities would bring back Branston-flavoured Mini Cheddars
Fixed it for you……
12/02/2013 at 13:49 MadJax says:
They still make branston mini cheddars, I had a bag the other day. Bring back the marmite ones!
12/02/2013 at 13:22 Lambchops says:
They’ve really engi-neered a great idea for Lego there.
12/02/2013 at 16:18 Highstorm says:
It’s too bad the support seems a bit sluggish.
12/02/2013 at 13:23 Solidstate89 says:
To hell with the FTL ship, there’s a Macross Valkyrie that’s up for proposal. Who do I have to throw money at to get that thing accepted by LEGO?
12/02/2013 at 13:24 DannyMB says:
Even if this gets to 10,000 votes, i can’t see it getting past the review stage. I’ve no doubt the FTL devs would be happy licensing Lego their stuff, but its just not a big enough franchise for Lego to be interested in.
I really wish the makers of these custom models would release the build instructions and parts list instead, so I can just go and make them myself regardless of what official sets Lego release.
And if you want to get into the custom Lego scene, bricklink.com is the place to go to buy individual parts.
12/02/2013 at 13:50 RaiderJoe says:
I think that’s the point of the 10,000 likes system; I assume LEGO estimates that somewhere below that 10000 number is how many they need to sell for it to be worthwhile. The problem is going to be actually GETTING that many votes.
12/02/2013 at 14:15 Optimaximal says:
LEGO explained how CUUSOO worked a while back.
The 10k votes thing elevates the kit to a stage where LEGO will consider it. They then look at stuff like content, potential reach (beyond the 10k votes), complexity & cost of he build and whether it will fit into LEGO’s range.
FTL LEGO won’t happen – it’s too niche – but I do wish if it did fail, LEGO would release the designs and part counts so people could make a stab at their own.
Something like this – http://i.imgur.com/ltrbl9Q.jpg
12/02/2013 at 17:33 Shivoa says:
Just like the EVE Online Lego stuff, getting the votes may not be the issue, Lego rejecting it if it does make the vote is the major hurdle.
12/02/2013 at 19:40 Joshua Northey says:
Why on earth does this need votes? If you want an FTL ship buy some bricks and make an FTL ship? Why on earth follow someone else’s vision? That is destroying 90% of the fun.
If you just want a representation of FTL you can display print out and frame a screenshot.
13/02/2013 at 00:20 Arkh says:
I’d love to see this project take off. And talking about it, why RPS doesn’t give some attention for this awesome project of Star Control 2 Lego?
http://lego.cuusoo.com/ideas/view/11290
12/02/2013 at 13:26 psepho says:
Do we really need this? There are so many LEGO-flavoured games out there already. FTL is a great game already — making a LEGO version is just exploitative. Don’t LEGO LOTR, Star Wars, Harry Potter and the rest make them enough money already?
In other news, I’ve got this problem with my knee. It appears totally uncontrollable…
EDIT: I was, of course, wearing my special trolloculars when reading the article and they can impede comprehension.
12/02/2013 at 13:43 Lambchops says:
Err, think you’ve misinterpreted there dear chap!
It’s actual Lego sets rather than a Lego video game that is being pitched.
Edit: I did wonder, you never can tell!
12/02/2013 at 13:47 USER47 says:
Third point in Alec’s list obviously applies to you…
12/02/2013 at 14:26 Berzee says:
:3
14/02/2013 at 06:23 Razumen says:
I’d enjoy a LEGO: FTL game personally, not that it’s going to happen, but it kinda seems like it would go really well together,
12/02/2013 at 13:39 sabasNL says:
Will this be just as overpriced and out-of-stock-y as the Minecraft one? If so: NO THANKS.
If not: YES PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY!
12/02/2013 at 13:44 Nick says:
- McVities would bring back Marmite-flavoured Mini Cheddars
If only =(
12/02/2013 at 13:47 Lemming says:
Wow, for once the figures and ships look like PROPER LEGO as opposed to the shit they do with Star Wars, LOTOR etc where they just craft a perfectly modelled head onto a body with a couple of Lego pincer hands.
12/02/2013 at 13:57 Fanbuoy says:
This times everything. I hate how all fairly new Lego seems to be tailor made for the specific set. Building different things from imagination is all that is fun about Lego.
12/02/2013 at 13:47 Hypocee says:
Seems completely unnecessary except for the crew :/ Some properties have lots of weird or iconic bits; FTL’s ships are practically still lifes of Lego already.
12/02/2013 at 13:49 Mr. Mister says:
I’m pretty sure the pieces would help the boardgame adaptation some fans on the forums have been rulesetting.
12/02/2013 at 13:54 Fanbuoy says:
There’s Minecraft Lego? Why? Can’t people just use… you know, regular Lego?
12/02/2013 at 14:00 Hoaxfish says:
Whoah there Mr Imagination. I just bet you do all kinds of disgusting “not follow the specific build-guide that came in the box” as well, right?
(No, I don’t get it either)
12/02/2013 at 14:04 Jams O'Donnell says:
I think it started out as irony but then became an actual physical thing because Internet.
12/02/2013 at 19:21 Rikard Peterson says:
When I was a child, I built wheels for my big Lego car out of regular bricks because I didn’t have any of those huge wheels I’d seen in the Lego catalogue. (This was before the Internet.) It worked fine. Well, as they weren’t completely round they wouldn’t turn on the floor, but on a carpet or the bed my terrain wheels were just as good as if I’d had the real thing. I also built my own versions of those castles and horses sold at the time.
12/02/2013 at 13:58 derella says:
I know this is for actual Lego, but I think it would be even better if it were a Lego game based on FTL.
12/02/2013 at 14:09 fhein says:
The Lego Minecraft kit is 480 pieces, most other kits in the same price range is around 300. I don’t think the amount of plastic used has significant impact on the cost.
12/02/2013 at 14:17 Lanfranc says:
*didn’t read the article* BAN THIS SICK FILTH!
12/02/2013 at 14:35 Post-Internet Syndrome says:
Actually, the cuusoo project is not aimed at children primarily, but the AFOL community. My dad had the luck to get a review copy of the minecraft set (yes indeed) so I’ve had the opportunity to check it out, and it really is disgustingly small for its price. It’s a collector’s item, really.
12/02/2013 at 15:17 jonfitt says:
I understand the coolness of having a pre-sorted set, but for the Kestrel can’t someone just post a brick list, and we go to a store, buy the individual bricks from the buckets and build it?
Am I missing something?
12/02/2013 at 23:31 hypercrisis says:
Yeah this, when did Lego stop being about making things yourself, instead only making Lego Pre-Approved Guidelines
12/02/2013 at 16:08 PedroBraz says:
Its 10.000 votes, and then it will have qualified for the halfyear review where it will COMPETE with well, every other set that makes it to 10k, as LEGO will approve only one per review. Also its not a done deal then. They will analyse market potential as well. Thats why the Back to the Future set is making it into production. They will also not make something that is too close to anything they are already making, which is one of the reasons the Wild West town lost.
But go ahead and give it your vote, but I´d think I´d just look something up on flicker or mocpages and get meself the parts from bricklink instead.
12/02/2013 at 16:22 Lachlan says:
Even before considering the competition from other sets, I wonder if FTL would run into the same problem the Firefly set did. Lego are very strict about what they want their brand associated with, and FTL has onscreen violence, racism, death and slavery (even if most of it is in little text boxes). That might make their brandmeisters baulk.
12/02/2013 at 21:02 Pony Canyon says:
Isn’t all that stuff in Star Wars? They’ve got no problem riding that money train.
12/02/2013 at 21:41 Capt. Eduardo del Mango says:
Well no, because as you rightly point out Star Wars is a money train. The textbook money train, perhaps.
FTL? Less so. What’s worse than a moneytrain, a bartercycle?
12/02/2013 at 17:46 Mario Figueiredo says:
I didn’t read the article, but I’m totally against a Lego version of FTL. I liked the former graphics better. Why make it look like Lego? Just saying. Now, don’t tell me I can’t have an opinion!
12/02/2013 at 18:11 Sheng-ji says:
It’s not a lego game – it’s a real life lego set!!
(All the best comments begin with “I didn’t read the article, but…”)
12/02/2013 at 18:24 Mario Figueiredo says:
If it’s not a Lego game, why didn’t they say so in the title? This site sucks, man!
12/02/2013 at 18:30 dE says:
This site trucks.
12/02/2013 at 19:27 Irishphnx says:
Whoosh
12/02/2013 at 18:38 kombatunit says:
Better have some fire legos
12/02/2013 at 18:45 Christo4 says:
Aww, and i thought this was about a game of FTL in which you could build your own space ships from lego parts… I am dissapoint…
12/02/2013 at 21:36 jonbro says:
I saw this, and immediately had a pavlovian response that made me want to press a little star button. Since this website doesn’t have that feature, I will submit this comment as the closest possible analog.
12/02/2013 at 21:39 Crius says:
Oh FTL dev, why you were so firm when you take the decision to not expand in any way the vanilla version of the game?
I would buy any DLC you’ll sell. Seriously.
18/02/2013 at 03:28 MrBear says:
Israel and Palestine would mutually agree “screw it, let’s have a fancy dress party instead”
Really? Wow, the ignorance in this is just amazing. Cause Israel is at fault, eh? And not the fascism of the “Palestine” ideologies, eh?
Nothing ever changes. Stick to writing pseudo-journalism about video games.