Bedroom Gymnastics: Anna Anthropy’s Triad

By Cara Ellison on March 19th, 2013 at 2:00 pm.

proposition
I am fully into sexy night time antics… in the form of Anna Anthropy’s excellent bedroom puzzler Triad. Released yesterday, Triad is a free puzzle game about trying to get three people to sleep in the same bed together without getting kicked or getting a pussy in the face (cat. cat. cat I mean). Even when you do get hot sexytimes in ultra realistic games, you never have to deal with the consequences of your crazy threesome. No, not pregnancy scares: the post-coital bed space skirmish. In this game, you’re asked to figure this shiz out or suffer over-brekky bitching.

We’ve got some problem sleepers. I like to call this one The HOGGER.
stop HOGGING all the SPACE
Look at you spreadeagled all over the place! Stop switching sides! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. You have now KICKED me in the face. Look if I move any further over the cat is going to jump on me and I’m allergic. Your legs are longer than a preying mantis. I mean I like it rough, but this is ridiculous. Okay now you have HOGGED the DUVET. Give it back!

Then we’ve got Rolly Rollerson here:
Dame Sir Rolls A Lot
STAY STILL. Just stop rolling on me. What is this, a roly poly competition on a high gravity hill? Okay and now you have smacked me in the face and… you’ve gone off over there… Oh great now you’re on the floor. You need cot sides. This is madness. How will I ever get any sleep? Is there some sort of velcro sheet we can employ? Because you are literally the rolliest person. I need to put you in one of those golf bunkers.

This is Snorey. Snorey snores like a whale with a blocked blowhole.
Sinus problem.
But on the other hand, Snorey is quite nice because Snorey never actually moves and looks like my favourite tetris brick.

And then there is this furrball.
NEMESIS
Getting comfortable IMMEDIATE CAT-ON-FACE

Sexy times were never so rough.
But I ALWAYS have to sleep on the floor.

Anna Anthropy’s Triad is now out for your puzzling pleasure, a short adorable block puzzle programmed by Leon Arnott with an atmospheric, button-responsive soundtrack from the extremely talented Liz Ryerson. Grab it here.

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69 Comments »

  1. DanielBrauer says:

    Is there an expert mode with a 3×3 bed?

    • Ansob says:

      They should have a difficulty setting that simply controls what type of bed you’re trying to fit people on. Easy is kingsize (5*4), normal is queensize (4*4), hard is single (3*4) and very hard is that dodgy air mattress you slept on once (2*3 but it deflates over night).

      • colw00t says:

        There’s some modifiers to that, I should think. Based on personal experience, Hard Mode should be a queen sized bed, but in addition to the three humans, have two large (65lbs) dogs as well. And it’s extremely hot out but one person needs blankets no matter what to sleep.

  2. Bhazor says:

    “I don’t understand the appeal of threesomes. You’re just doubling the number of people you can’t quite look in the eye the next morning.”

  3. Bones1210 says:

    Ah RPS, the only website I frequent where I read an article and then go…..what? And then I remember, you guys are British.

  4. RedViv says:

    Where’s the V piece that stretches its arms out and snores like a huge Valkyrie?

  5. DigitalSignalX says:

    Rule 34, Video games no exception.

  6. Eukatheude says:

    I once slept with three other people in the same bed. I dunno how the others managed, but i slept pretty well.

  7. rustybroomhandle says:

    According to Miss Anthropy (geddit?) the indie game scene is just as awful as the AAA market – just a bunch of bearded white guys making money from creating the same game over and over. Not relevant to this story, my apologies, but I disagree.

    • amateurviking says:

      I find it difficult to engage in this topic because I am a white guy with a beard.

    • JFS says:

      I ain’t got a beard and thus feel offended.

    • InternetBatman says:

      I was trying to come up with an eloquent response, but I’ve been up too late. She can talk the talk, but she can’t walk the walk. She’s yet to produce something more valuable than a curiosity, and most of her games seem to depend on shock value and “I’m a lesbian! Deal with it.” That might have been vaguely subversive twenty to forty years ago, but is just tediously mundane now.

      Combine that with her name, and I get the impression of a high-school lesbian that never grew up (from high school, not from sexual orientation).

      • Toberoth_Syn says:

        Growing up is a really confusing concept.

      • Gap Gen says:

        I dunno, I think it’s important not to criticise someone’s argument based on their personality. If Anna Anthropy’s niche is critic and developer of small curiosities rather than “full” games, then this isn’t a bad thing. It’s possible that her arguments are unfair or just plain wrong, but this is a separate thing.

        As for the sexuality thing, there are still plenty of unpleasant conservatives around, so it’s still worth pushing the gender/sexuality issue as long as inequality and bigotry exists. Doesn’t have to be subversive to make a social argument or present a point of view. It’s also worth noting that prejudice is more invisible to people who traditionally have social power.

        • Toberoth_Syn says:

          Yeah, exactly. It’s easy to say that the whole being an out and proud lesbian thing is “tediously mundane” if you’ve never faced homophobic prejudices yourself and/or you live in a place where homosexy times are accepted in the same way as heterosexy times (which is basically nowhere, in fact)–it’s harder to recognise that homophobia hasn’t gone away and still persists in many places in more or less subtle ways. Anyway, I also think that InternetBatman is simplifying Anthropy’s situation a little bit. It’s a lot more complicated than “high school lesbian” (a term which I’m quite sure most queer people would find a little offensive), as InternetBatman would know if they took the time to find out.

          • El_Emmental says:

            I always found out treating people from an oppressed group like everyone else worked much better than showcasing their specific differences.

            Once it is accepted among the most open-minded and ‘progressive’ people that this oppressed group shouldn’t be oppressed, you won’t convince more people, let alone the biggots, by shoving down their throats the fact that a woman can be lesbian, develop games and “should” be respected.

            Instead, if she’s around other various developers, and the discussion is about the game design, the level design, the trial-and-error design, the concept of reward, etc… and her opinion isn’t “the proud and respected lesbian developer”‘s opinion, but simply Anna’s opinion, then the biggots will clearly see it’s 100% off-topic to take into consideration her sexual orientation whenever we’re talking about programming, game design (or whatever discussion not being regarding sexual orientation).

            By focusing on her sexual orientation, you’re validating the hypothesis of biggots, who think the sexual orientation of a person defines his/her worth, as a human being and as a competent person. Personally, I don’t agree with that: a person can be right or wrong, no matter what’s her/his sexual orientation – that’s part of a person’s privacy and intimacy.

            That’s why Anna shouldn’t fall into that trap:

            1) If you want to criticize and analyse the population of indie developers (and the few successful ones), and see why there’s a majority of white+beard males, you need to analyse beyond the “must be sexism from these guys !” and see why gaming never really took off among young girls:
            - commercial viability wrongly analyzed by marketing team back then ?
            - social control (by other girls and women) over girls-who-are-supposed-to-be-princess (and not play football, run around, play cowboys vs indians, etc) ?
            - why programming classes have little to no female students ? why renaming these courses into things like “Information Technology Design” doubles the quantity of female students choosing these courses ?

            2) If you want to prove that non-white and/nor non-male people can be developers and make great games, then make great games ! Do not focus on your gender, sexual orientation, religion, taste, etc.

            The ultimate goal should be:
            A: “hey, that’s a great game !”
            B: “you knew the developer was a lesbian ?”
            A:”no, so what ? I’m not looking to date the developer of that game anyway”
            C: “omg lesbian are evil misandrists blah blah”
            A & B: “hu, please be dumb elsewhere, we’re trying to share about video games here – your personnal issues with sexuality shouldn’t be exposed to everyone here”

            Not:
            A: “Hey, that’s a funny game !”
            B: “You knew the developer was a lesbian ?”
            A: “No I didn’t, it’s even better ! She’s promoting gender equality with her game, take that biggots !”
            C: “omg lesbian are evil misandrists blah blah”
            A & B: “Omg, there’s still so much hate-filled people on the Internet, we should improve the gaming community and denounce such biggotry, stay strong lesbian-developer ! I’m gonna share these games to spread tolerance and understanding, we must fight the rampant misogyny so people understand what it’s like to be oppressed ! Hopefully the LGBT community is getting stronger everyday ! Lesbian-developer should become our poster child !”

            That’s like pointing your finger at white supremacists and saying “booh, racists !”: they’ll say “well, yeah, and proud of that”, and they’ll happily enjoy barbecues and parties with other white supremacists, laughing at the few “hippies homo liberals” booing them.

            Oh, and non-white people won’t be able to peacefully enjoy your company because they’ll always be the “poor oppressed minority” first, before being a person. That’s like promoting pity for the disabled, that’s wrong, unproductive and disrespectful.

            What most oppressed people want is peace, not a freaking pedestal and sorry eyes.

        • Consumatopia says:

          I dunno, I think it’s important not to criticise someone’s argument based on their personality.

          Eh, she’s half right about indie devs–they could use more diversity. On the other hand, nobody who has anything to do with Twine has any right to complain about “endlessly remaking the same game”. Every Anna Anthropy game I’ve ever seen has been a remake of some other game with gender issues added.

      • Phantoon says:

        Her games are also better than most actual indie games.

        • The Random One says:

          Yeah. Most of her stuff are just cute experiments, but if you think of dy4ia as a “cute curiosity” then we really have no common ground to discuss this any further.

        • Kamos says:

          Is “indie” a label now? And isn’t she indie?

        • InternetBatman says:

          I don’t think it’s cute. I think it’s overwrought. It’s a rant with limited mechanics.

          And an artist needs to do more than saying “this is what it’s like being me” or “shaving is humiliating.” A work needs to transcend the individual and touch upon the great universal concepts that we all share. That doesn’t mean it has to or should ignore ascribed status or personal experience. It should do both, like:

          “As I learn from you,
          I guess you learn from me—
          although you’re older—and white—
          and somewhat more free.”

          • RobF says:

            ” A work needs to transcend the individual and touch upon the great universal concepts that we all share.”

            No it doesn’t, you’ve just made that up.

    • Gap Gen says:

      I think we’ve probably mostly got past the stage where in the grimdark of indie games there is only side-scrolling platformers. That was a little tedious, I agree (partly because I’m not very good at them). Then again, “indie” these days can mean a fairly decent-sized studio, so the limitations of what one or two people can reasonably accomplish are lessened.

    • RobF says:

      Well, that’s sorta massively simplifying Anna’s point well beyond breaking point to say that she believes that it’s the same game being made over and over again. I’m sure it’s dead easy to find a quote where she says precisely that but it kinda helps to read it in the context of the discussion and in a flippantly shout at nerds kind of way.

      It’s more that the majority of voices in gaming are those of the white bearded male. As a white bearded male who makes videogames and knows lots of people who are white bearded males who make videogames, vastly many more than those who aren’t white, beardy and male who make videogames it’s depressingly hard to argue that it’s anything but the case, y’know? Turn up at any place where developers congregate and there’s a sea of us, all white, beardy and male being white, beardy and male.

      I mean, you can disagree all you want really but it’s not like by doing so it’ll change the reality of stuff that games are, generally, made by a small subsection of people who happen to be mainly white, bearded and male.

      So all we’re ever going to get is games from the perspective of white, beardy and male. It’s not an exclusively videogamey problem but then, someone else can concern themselves with music, movies or what have you, y’know? Got to pick your fights and all that.

      So what Anna wants, what -I- want too is more voices being brought in. No fucking arbitrary rules like Batman just laid down about what art should be, work has to be or any crap like that to keep them out, more people making games from their experience, their point of view. Because it leads to more games, more variety in games and from that, better things can grow. Until we get a safer space, a better space for other people who aren’t white, beardy and male we’re doomed to go round in the same circles we have been for 30 years now and if anyone really wants games to be better, to be more diverse then just swearing at AAA publishers won’t cut it, we need to invite more people in to make games.

      The thing is, whilst I’m a thousand games deep in my Steam library and more, the amount that are distinct in a way that really says something is, well, it’s next to fuck all and white beardy male *is* one part of that problem. It’s not the be all and end all, we’ll still have marketers to kneecap and those guys who put words all over the screen because you can’t push up on a joystick without a half hour tutorial to stick in a concrete block and sink to the bottom of the ocen but it’s a start, right? It’s something we can do something about too.

      And yes, I’m afraid that indie is for the most part the domain of the white bearded male, certainly “successful” indie is. I don’t hold anything against those guys or begrudge them their success one little bit, I certainly don’t object to what they do either but more, right? We can get -more.

      That’d be cool.

  8. bard says:

    The idea was amusing but the game itself kinda disappointing. Took me 5-something tries and done. But I’d actually really enjoy a tetris-like puzzler with moving pieces.

    Anyone know if something similar but with *more* content is out there?

  9. Jhoosier says:

    “Even when you do get hot sexytimes in ultra realistic games, you never have to deal with the consequences of your crazy threesome.”

    Tell me about it. I can’t deal with one other persons sharing my bed, let alone two.

  10. David Bliff says:

    I truly do hate puzzle games, I’m coming to realize. I’m just awful at them but I won’t let myself stop until I solve them. It’s not a good combination.

  11. wodin says:

    There was a period in my life where the only space I had in bed was the gap between the bed and the wall…hovering more or less between the two.

  12. David Bliff says:

    Also sleeping without spooning and boob-holding isn’t really sleeping at all.

  13. edwardh says:

    I chuckled at “Okay and now you have smacked me in the face”
    Because my girlfriends always complain about that ;) (and I mean in fact during sleep!)

    As for pregnancy scares… in this day and age? Seriously? Although… seeing how stupid a lot of people are (I remember one Julian Assange talking about using the same condom multiple times like it was nothing…), I guess it’s good that I was never invited to a threesome… they’d probably just consider me a buzz kill what with all the “You can’t touch that after having touched that!” ;)

  14. cai says:

    Fun (and funny!) game but holy crap what a great soundtrack for a 5-minute puzzle game. I recognised Liz Ryerson’s music from Dys4ia, she is a great soundtrack artist.

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