Playing through the StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm campaign this weekend, I couldn’t help but be struck by Blizzard’s equality-minded approach to how it depicts its characters’ hindquarters. I’ve just been through every cutscene again, and screengrabbed every bottom I could spot (barring repeat shots and most of the slow zooms).
Men, women, horrible alien creatures: they all get their bums in the sun at some point. See if you can spot where the game’s noble determination to not objectify its female star, Sarah Kerrigan, really proves itself.
Raynor (civilian clothes):
Cargo Pants? More like Cor, fancy a go at that Pants!
Raynor (military clothes):
Solid steel power armour shows off all of Big Jim’s big curves!
With buns of steel like that he’s less ruler of the Terrans, more ruler of my loins!
The heir to the empire follows his daddy’s tendency to leave nothing to the imagination!
Metal nappies make my heart go boom-boom-boom!
If it weren’t for that pesky metal hose, we could see *everything!*
Crack soldier, amirite!
Zeratul (rear just off-camera, presumably an accidental oversight):
Show us what’s under that loincloth, prophet-boy!
Matthew Horne & Valarian (rears just off-camera, presumably an accidental oversight):
The mid-length cloak is 2013’s most scandalous look!
Raynor (civilian) and Kerrigan (human):
Whatever Kerrigan can do, Raynor can do better! And fitter!
Not too busy overthrowing a galactic despot to forget looking good!
Boldly wearing the same skintight catsuit in both captivity and battle!
Just because you’ve been brutally experimented on and used as the genetically-modified slave of a madman doesn’t mean you can’t show the universe what matters most!
Kerri-can, more like!
Standing in that pose all the time has caused her life-long weakness in her right hip, but she knows looking great’s more important than debilitating joint damage!
No chitin where it counts!
2013’s Spring look means scales and spikes everywhere but on T&A!
Arse of the swarm, if you catch my drift!
Only a gal like that could pull off the difficult thong-made-of-chitin-exoskeleton look!
So hot: the curve of the wings matches the curve of her buns perfectly!
Kerrigan (Zergy; rear just off-camera, presumably an accidental oversight):
Stop teasing us, naughty Kerrigan – show us the goods for once!
Now that’s a bottom I could marry!
Wow! Hot stuff all round from the men and women of the StarCraft universe!