Because Why Not: Total War Has The Biggest Screenshot

By Nathan Grayson on April 11th, 2013 at 8:05 am.

IN A WORLD where game publishers are all in competition over very silly, largely pointless things for no real apparent reason…

[Scene: the world]

Sega: “Push the button.”

Creative Assembly: “This is madness. We can’t do it. If we take this step, there’s no turning back. Not just for us, but for the world.”

[Scene: still the world]

Epic: “Did you see the readout coming from Sega? They’re just mad enough to do it.”

Crytek: “But why? This is going to change everything. We’ll have to fire back with something even bigger. Somehow. Otherwise, the Graphics Wars will be lost.”

Epic: “It’s a goddamn arms race from here on out. Best buckle up, kid.”

[Scene: that first portion of the world again]

Sega: “PUSH THE BUTTON. PUSH IT NOW. FOR ROOOOOOOOOOOME.”

[Scene: space]

An astronaut, gazing down at Earth: “Sweet mother of god.”

The new Total War: Rome II screenshot is visible from space, I think, is what I was trying to say there. Because seriously, have a look at it for yourself. Creative Assembly and Sega are touting it as the Biggest Total War Screenshot Ever, which comes in the wake of the near-equally absurd Once Biggest Total War Screenshot Ever. What’s the point of all this? I have absolutely no idea. But here we are:

“In AD 9, the Roman general Publius Quinctilius Varus and the 17th, 18th and 19th legions were ambushed in Germania. 15,000 Romans walked into Teutoburg Forest. Not one walked out. Varus’ defeat was every bit as stunning as Scipio’s victory over Carthage (the subject of our last panorama) and it shook the empire to its very foundations.”

“Recreating the massacre of Teutoberg Forest in the Total War™: ROME II engine was no small task, and we thought it deserved a panoramic screenshot of its own. At 30000 x 9785 pixels, Welcome to the new WORLD’S BIGGEST TOTAL WAR SCREENSHOT!”

YEAH OR WHATEVER I GUESS. I’m not sure if it’s the biggest officially released promotional screenshot of any game ever, but it’s definitely up there. So there you have it: this is some kind of milestone. An incredibly silly, kind of dumb one, but a milestone nonetheless.

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62 Comments »

  1. lordcooper says:

    Mine’s bigger.

  2. sabrage says:

    In the grimdark future of the Screenshot Wars, a studios mettle is measured by the length of their loading times.

    • Grey Poupon says:

      Dawn of War actually had support for “superscreenshots”, which work much the same way as supersample antialiasing. It renders a frame with much higher resolution and then saves it. Not sure how high it could go though, but I’ve got a feeling it was more limited by your hardware. Or at least it was by my hardware back in the day.

      Wouldn’t be surprised if other games supported those as well. Such things are rarely advertised much.

    • Richie Shoemaker says:

      When I had access to a version of CCP’s (Eve Online) in-house toolset, I created a screenshot that was so big it couldn’t just be seen from space, it *was* space.

      I was actually trying to to see if it was possible to create a life-size image of one of Eve’s ships. However, the pic was so vast that while it seemed to save out just fine, my PC lacked the resources to display it.

  3. BTAxis says:

    Good to see the 30000×9785 monitor crowd is not forgotten.

  4. Sheng-ji says:

    I’m not certain why their so keen to present their game in the worst possible way! The foreground vegetation is pretty but the rocks look blurry and angular, the background trees look bad and you cannot see the details of the battle.

    I could understand it if you could zoom in to see the individual details, but zooming in doesn’t increase the resolution, it just turns into a blurry mess. The version of it at the top of this article is better than the actual thing because it’s a better size!

  5. Radiant says:

    Clicked around for a bit.
    Good job everyone.

  6. Sisco says:

    IT´S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Stardog says:

    You’re really complaining about the size of a screenshot?

  8. varangian says:

    Seeing that I get excited and start planning a PC/monitor upgrade so I can play this at maximum settings. Which in turn induces anxiety about the many disappointments that could crush my hopes. The announcement of micropayments to buy better armour for your troops. Always on internet connection required – not for DRM, oh no, but because it’s not a single-player game at all and your save games are sooo much safer saved on our uber-reliable servers. The AI with a brain of a turnip.

    I so hope none of this comes about as Rome was my favourite of the TW games and I’d love to play a sequel that took it to a new level but the way some of the games industry behaves doesn’t inspire much confidence.

  9. JonnyBoyWonder says:

    Won’t somebody think of the children?

  10. jussipe says:

    Not the size, but the way that you use it!

  11. LuNatic says:

    You’re gonna need a bigger monitor.

  12. kud13 says:

    Wow. Where did the Germanians get so many horses?

    Also, almost all the dead legionaires have the same dead sprite animation/graphic.

  13. Prime says:

    Have we finally reached the point where the War can truly be called “Total”?

    TOTAL RESOLUTION WAR(FACE)!

  14. Skeletor68 says:

    Please tell me one of those guys is wearing a wristwatch somewhere.

  15. sunkillmoon says:

    RPS is turning is to a grumpy old man. complaining about the size of a screenshot, for god’s sake.

  16. Davie says:

    It’s funny, both Rome TW games feature absolutely fucking gigantic trees. I always think that maybe some modeler added an extra zero to the scale and then I remember that this is pre-industrial Europe and most of those trees are probably a thousand years old.

    I wonder if that incredibly specific historical detail is in fact intentional.

  17. DestructibleEnvironments says:

    Not-impressed-man says: Meh, I’ve seen bigger.

  18. edwardoka says:

    Quintcilius Varus, WHERE ARE MY EAGLES?!

    • The Infamous Woodchuck says:

      I thought he shouted “give me back my legions!”

      or is that a joke? if it is, i didnt get it…

      • Crazy Horse says:

        It’s all hearsay that he shouted anything like it at all. He may well have shouted both since he apparently went on a depressed rampage about his palace for the next few days. Italians…

      • edwardoka says:

        The Brian Blessed rendition of Augustus’ tantrum after hearing about the Teutoburg rout has him shouting petulantly about his lost eagles (ie. the legion standards)

        • Soldancer says:

          You misspelled his name. It’s BRIAN BLESSED.

          Also, any time someone uses the old “In a world where X…” line, it always makes me giggle. whether it’s meant to be ironic or not.

      • Chiron says:

        I think he’s referencing Danny from Game of Thrones – WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS!!!

    • President Weasel says:

      I was really hoping for VARUS! GIVE ME BACK MY PIXELS! but I’ll take some Brian Blessed shouting any day.

  19. Thermal Ions says:

    Sweet, I’ve been looking for a new background for my tablet.

  20. Chiron says:

    Scipio’s victory over Carthage (the subject of our last panorama) and it shook the empire to its very foundations

    Scipio’s victory over Carthage (or at least the Scipio in the screenshot) was only stunning in how long it took for Rome to beat an effectively neutered state that was absolutely no threat to the Roman Empire.

    • El_Emmental says:

      But it was spectacular !

      Ruining an entire city just because a lunatic kept telling them to do that, and they eventually bought in that paranoid lie… what not to like ?

  21. Drake Sigar says:

    IT’S TOO BIG!

    Said your mum.

  22. Artista says:

    My apartment just crashed.

  23. pakoito says:

    Am I the only one who can’t pan or zoom out? It just won’t do it for me :/

  24. DarkMalice says:

    That’s a big twinkie.

  25. Khalan says:

    Now that would make a good Flare Path Foxer.
    Eg. Find the Roman that lies shot with an arrow to the torso next to his dead white horse and some scattered rocks.
    Or the boarded up well next to the lean-to.

    And those are some easy ones.

  26. Barberetti says:

    Total War has the biggest screenshot ….. in the world.

    /Clarkson

  27. MentatYP says:

    Link to a bigger version that will cover my entire desktop, please?

  28. Kamos says:

    They finally did it. You maniacs. You have used all the graphics.

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