Please Watch This Dumb Blood Dragon Live-Action Short

By Nathan Grayson on April 17th, 2013 at 9:00 am.

This is probably also the greatest videogame movie of all time by default. Welp, now I'm sad.

And by “dumb,” I mean wonderful. Maybe even brilliant, in the sense that Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon seems on track to be a neon-emblazoned clown who secretly conceals both a high-powered laser rifle and an Ivy League college degree. That also fires lasers. The bits we’ve been shown lovingly satirize everything – ’80s action flicks, shooters, modern games, old games – with a surgically deft robo hand. Far Cry 3, eat your heart out. Otherwise, the blood dragons (which are actual things) will do it for you. This live-action mini-epic is no different, combining low-budget special effects, terrible costuming, and glorious over-acting to make… something. I can’t do it justice with these words of mine. They’re incapable of producing a synth-dirge soundtrack, and without that, I am lost. See the movie for yourself after the break.

To clarify – because I can see the emotional investment welling up in your eyes, preparing to explode forth in a nuclear rainbow of feeling – that wasn’t┬áSargent Rex Power Colt. I’m not exactly sure where he was during the CYBERWAR, but it looks like Commander Bolt Lightning (yes, real name) had everything handled. That was a joke, you see, because non-pun-based humor wasn’t invented until the early ’90s.

But yes, can this become a series? The film, I mean. The game too, I guess, but I haven’t actually played it yet. Regardless, bravo, Ubisoft and Corridor Digital. That was admirably idiotic in all the right ways. Would that more games embraced their inherent silliness.

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon will be out on May 1st. Craig found its linearity to be a bit stifling in comparison to Far Cry 3′s sandbox-y madness, but he was otherwise quite delighted by all the pretty colors and apocalypses within apocalypses. In just a couple weeks, it will be 2007. Will you be there?

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53 Comments »

  1. Premium User Badge

    FunnyB says:

    It was good. Really looking forward to this game!

  2. analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

    Looks good, think I’ll wait to find out how long it is before committing to release day price like! After starting my second playthrough of Fear 2 Project Origin last night I’m in the mood for an old school shooter. I think Fear 2 was one of the last good shooters, just on the cusp of when things went to shit i.e. it had achievements but no one button cover mechanics/constant onscreen prompts/coop shit!

    Edit: And boy is it a challenge on Hard, those reanimators are one tough opponent!!!!

    • RoShamPoe says:

      You can’t commit to the release day price of $15? Anyone who is interested should, honestly, so we could see more stuff like this.

      • analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

        Maybe my 15bucks would be better spent on my daughter if it’s only short. I have a life beyond computer gaming FFS!!! (Or 15bucks going towards Last Light after I have read a few reviews so I can get the Ranger DLC)

    • BrendanJB says:

      In a TGS interview with the lead developer, he said the main campaign would be 8 hours long, and the island will be a little larger than the second island in vanilla FC3. On top of that, there are new side quests, hunting challenges, and random encounters. So I’d say you have about 10+ hours of content for your $15.

  3. Lobotomist says:

    Surviving nuclear blast by cowering behind enemy body ! FTW !

    My favorite game this year and didnt even play it yet !

  4. kud13 says:

    this was so wonderfully 80s.

    And now I have a strong urge to re-watch “Johnny Mnemonic” again.

  5. Juan Carlo says:

    The worst decades always make for the best nostalgia.

    • Premium User Badge

      RedViv says:

      You take that back, young human!

    • MadTinkerer says:

      I find it funny when people try to insult the 80s. It’s usually because they have no idea what the 70s were like, and therefore no context.

      The 70s: Petroleum shortages and disco. Digital technology only just barely starts showing up at the end of the decade.

      The 80s: The Western Allies win the cold war against the USSR and it’s allies. Oh, and everyone gets personal computers and video game consoles.

      See, once the Cold War was over, there was no longer any threat of immediate nuclear annihilation. Without an immediate threat of nuclear annihilation, stupid kids who grew up in the 90s and 00s were able to take for granted the entire first 90% of 20th century history and ignore important facts like wars still happening in other parts of the world.

      Stupid, stupid kids.

      EDIT: Well okay, the 70s did also have the big “classic” Heavy Metal thing, but that was relatively niche until the 80s. And stupid, stupid kids don’t care about Metal because Metal is old and Bieber is new.

  6. Premium User Badge

    MajorManiac says:

    I loved the 80s style. But it was very toned down for the modern children’s market.

    True 80s action movies had constant swearing, at least one obligatory sex scene, and allot more homo-erotica. It was an amazing decade to grow up in.

    • Premium User Badge

      PoulWrist says:

      80′s action hardly ever had sex scenes :p if anything the female love interests were killed off as a motiv for vengeance. Or were already dead by the start of the movie.
      Instead, they were about the homoerotic relationships between the musclebound lead and the main villain.

      • Phendron says:

        If 80′s movie had no sex scenes then why do I have so many vivid memories of black silhouettes and blue lights?

    • lokimotive says:

      There weren’t enough terrible one liners, either. I think that truly came into prominence with Commando, but it seems like such a staple to me for the genre. Also, the camera work was too competent (as as, of course, the special effects). But I think they were going more for the mood of the period, which I think they got.

      • vanosofmanos says:

        Arnie definitely set the standard for one-liners.

        • mda says:

          “Chill out, dickwad.” xD (The kid in Terminator 2 tells him this is how you talk.)

      • Low Life says:

        I consider Commando the perfect execution of an 80s action movie. I could watch that masterpiece three times a day – and on my best days, I have.

    • snajk says:

      The game does have that though. Lots of swearing and obscene gestures, a training montage and 8-bit sex scenes tastefully lit from behind.

  7. Premium User Badge

    slerbal says:

    Yay Corridor Digital! Their shorts are awesome especially Sync, After DayZ, Tether and Kittens vs sock Ninjas :-D

    • Davie says:

      They have officially made it big, I think. It’s a curious direction marketing is taking, employing the talents of well-known Youtube creators, but I can’t say I mind at all.

      • Premium User Badge

        RedViv says:

        Wonderful web era. Have That Thing You Want To Do? Try doing it and show it to people on the web, and maybe someone wants you to do That Thing You Want To Do for money.

  8. Zepp says:

    OHHHH YEAH! MARK 4 STYLE MUTHAFUCKA!

  9. SkittleDiddler says:

    That must have cost Ubisoft a small fortune to produce. It looks cheap, but you can tell there’s a sizable budget behind it.

    • Premium User Badge

      slerbal says:

      It is amazing what the guys from Corridor Digital accomplish on tiny budgets. That said I hope they got well paid by UbiSoft as they did a great job.

      Also kudos to Ubi for working with some of the best talent on YouTube :)

  10. jellydonut says:

    This is like that ‘Street Fighter’ movie except a million times better.

  11. Anguy says:

    Isn’t this the same guy from the Sleeping Dogs short film? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WgWMgGrZDY

    • SkittleDiddler says:

      That part where he makes the guy’s head pop with the motorcycle tire is awesome.

  12. Timberfox says:

    War… War finally changed.

    I would love to hear the story of how management was convinced to take a risk on this, and not just make more modern ‘realistic’ shooting.

  13. Kobest says:

    I’ll watch the video after work, but I just hope that the game doesn’t become a case of style over substance.

    Don’t get me wrong, I already pre-ordered and can’t wait to play this through, but watching the gameplay videos give me the feeling that this is a professional mod to Far Cry 3 rather than a huge throwback to the 80s. Sure, the style sells this one, but as another commenter mentioned, it would have been nice if they altered the gameplay so it reflects the design of old shooters. (always-run, no intertia, etc.)

  14. Fox89 says:

    The first ever video best experienced in 240p. Seriously, it makes it so much more…’80s!

    Great work from Corridor Digital, that was a lot of genuine cheesy fun!

  15. Low Life says:

    Giant Bomb’s Patrick Klepek did an interview on the game’s creative director Dean Evans (link). His ability to casually insert an 80s movie quote in an interview answer (“We didn’t want to do play it safe, we wanted to blow off some steam, Bennett.”) has officially made him my favourite game developer.

  16. Premium User Badge

    sonofsanta says:

    That was astonishingly good and possibly my favourite thing of all the things. Laser sword fighting to the backdrop of a city burning beneath an atomic mushroom cloud. And, of course, Evil Red LEDs in all the robots.

    The eighties weren’t this good the first time round.

  17. Feferuco says:

    Watching this video, I realized it only looks so ridiculous because it was a short, because this is in the level of what goes on in a lot of games.

  18. Andrew says:

    More evidence that it is never wise to trust Cyborgs. They nuked Toronto not Los Angeles!

  19. vanosofmanos says:

    This might be the best thing ever. It’s tweaking my 80s nostalgia so hard that it’s making me wish I had big hair.

    That whole thing reminds me of Captain Power, though. Especially the original Blood Dragon trailer: the narration for it was so much like the opening for Captain Power. I would give my spleen (not that anyone wants it) for someone to do up a Soldiers of the Future mod for Far Cry 3!

  20. Dervish says:

    This short was a lot of fun, but this is really more 90s than 80s.

  21. mda says:

    “Fuckin’ robots…” at the end was great lol xD

  22. Premium User Badge

    Keymonk says:

    That was ~amazing~.

  23. Popcornicus says:

    This is no joke the best thing I’ve seen in years. I hope they make a franchise out of this. I would buy so much Blood Dragon crap. I would cover my room in the posters, wear the T-shirts, eat the goddamned cereal. I want this to have a collectible CCG, action figures, a convention, and a spinoff tabletop RPG.

  24. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Will I be there? Probably not, considering uPlay. Still, might be interesting to see what I may be passing by (and whether my reasoning for doing so is actually sufficient).