Star Trek Out In The States, Slowly Crossing Space Oceans

By John Walker on April 24th, 2013 at 3:00 pm.

Star Trek: The Video Game (right now linking to a 404) is out now! Unless you’re not in America! Because publishers and stores are still living in 1992! So it is that if you’re in the western colonies, you can now buy and play the game and tell us if it’s any good. Meanwhile we, in the Mother Country, are stuck with an ironically named ‘launch video’ and a pre-load option. [Piracy dances across the screen, waggling its hands and tipping its hat.]

I know we bang on about this all the time, but the gut-ripping idiocy of a publisher making their digital game available in one meaninglessly divided continent and not another, in a world where digitally downloadable games are available for free through unscrupulous means, is bewildering, self-sabotaging, and infuriating. So you’ve got a high profile name like Star Trek, albeit with a perhaps concerning lack of pre-release hype, and you make sure the whole world knows it’s available – then don’t let them buy it. This isn’t an advocation of piracy – certainly not, people are capable of waiting three days – but it’s a pretty bloody stupid business practice for an industry so obsessed with DRM and lawsuits.

So, here’s your so-called launch video:

The sillybillies at Namco are still going with the complete nonsense that “For the first time ever, game players will get to play as two of the greatest science-fiction heroes ever — Kirk and Spock”. I must have imagined Star Trek: 25th Anniversary and Judgment Rites!

It’s currently priced at a nostril-stretching £40 on Steam.

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98 Comments »

  1. bangalores says:

    “Western colonies”

    You Brits are still sore about that huh?

    • Premium User Badge

      Llewyn says:

      It’s too soon to talk about it, sorry.

    • Drake Sigar says:

      *Clubs bangalores over the back of the head with my musket*

      Now who’s sore, motherfu-

      • Premium User Badge

        colossalstrikepackage says:

        This comment caused me to raise an eyebrow and clatter my teacup like a savage. Bravo, Sir. Bravo.

      • calibypolege says:

        If you think Susan`s story is cool…, last pay-cheque my cousins girlfriend also broght in $4583 putting in a seventeen hour week from there apartment and the’re best friend’s step-mother`s neighbour has done this for six months and made more than $4583 in their spare time at there computer. use the guidelines here wow65.com
        (Go to site and open “Home” for details)

    • Gusdor says:

      Why would we be sore? Its you guys who take every opportunity to ogle the royal family you strong-armed away from.

      • DeFrank says:

        So yes, then.

      • Banana_Republic says:

        Some colonies are still loyalists. God save the Queen, eh.

      • Universal Quitter says:

        Right, because what you see American tv is always indicative of what we’re actually doing or talking about. Most Americans resent the royals being covered all of the time, and the ones that follow them tend to do it In a train-wreck, jersey shore kind of way.

        No real live human beings care about pippa’s hats. I mean, by that standard, every Brit must be a soccer hooligan or part of the Royal Navy.

    • Bhazor says:

      …all that delicious tea… gone… like tears in the rain…

      Never forget.
      December 16th 1773

      • mike2R says:

        Right. Some things are just unforgivable, and making tea with cold seawater is very definitely one of them.

      • Syra says:

        Yes an unforgettable date no one outside of the US has ever cared to remember.

        • Brun says:

          Nor anyone inside the US, I can assure you.

          Seriously, no one here knows the date on which the Boston Tea Party happened, they just know it happened sometime in year 177X.

        • Geen says:

          We can’t help it, in our schools they just hammer it into your head. 8 years of goddamn American history! Eight years!

          • Premium User Badge

            MajorManiac says:

            It surely can’t be that hard to learn all 8 years of American history.

            Dum-dish!

    • Nick says:

      tax dodging bastards

      • randomkeyhits says:

        I hadn’t realised Google had been around for so long!

    • Inverselaw says:

      MUHAHAHA!!!

      Queen Victoria was powerless when we deployed our GREATEST WEAPON!!!

      Asking politely that we may administer our affairs ourselves in order for the polity to better represent the will of the populace.

      POWERLESS!!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  2. DonJefe says:

    But is it any good?

    • njdss4 says:

      I’ve been playing it for a few hours and the answer is: No. The controls are a poor man’s Mass Effect, the AI is downright broken at times, the story is mediocre at best, and the graphics are awful. The voice acting is hit or miss, mostly miss. It’s only worth playing if you’re a huge Star Trek fan, and even then, wait until the price drops (which I doubt will take long).

      • CutieKnucklePie says:

        Is the coop worth it? It DID look like a ME clone…

      • Premium User Badge

        tumbleworld says:

        The video certainly looks horrible. I’d have been impressed in 2006, but even then, pathetic phoned-in voice acting was still pathetic phoned-in voice acting. *shudder*. Maybe GAME have some deluded idea that great reviews from the US are going to appear in droves and brainwash us all into purchasing it en masse?

      • Premium User Badge

        JiminyJickers says:

        Oh dear, that is a shame. Will have to wait for a big Steam sale.

  3. PC-GAMER-4LIFE says:

    http://www.shopto.net are shipping now its only £27 much better deal with pre-order DLC if you hurry & order before Friday 26th April. Co-Op is broken as it appears to need all regions live on Steam so probably the servers are not going LIVE until Friday. GAME & the other UK retailors insist on this release date nonsense perhaps RPS could do an article on this if they can get anyone to go on record that is (unlikely but who knows no-one has ever done an indepth article on this shady business practise it actually hurts UK business more to enforce if the game is poor you can cancel before its sent by looking at US reviews/player reviews!!).

  4. baby snot says:

    Either my monitor has carked it or that trailer just looks that terribad. It’s like I was trying to watch it on a screen that had a good viewing angle of about 5 degrees.

  5. Bhazor says:

    Hands up anyone who cares about the game.

    • DickSocrates says:

      *raises hand*

      Can I use the toilet, please?

    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      Nah, no one cares about games around here. What do you think this is, some kind of games site?

  6. BattleXer says:

    It contains – wait for it – animated blood!

    • staberas says:

      THINK OF THE CHILDREN
      What if ours kids learn that are mortal they bleed and they can DIE !!?!?!?!?!?

    • Premium User Badge

      PoulWrist says:

      NOT ANIMATED BLOOD!?!

    • Premium User Badge

      darkChozo says:

      But blood magic is illegal!

    • SominiTheCommenter says:

      Should have inanimate blood. If you shoot the blood he stops moving, right?

    • Premium User Badge

      colossalstrikepackage says:

      I do despise it when blood gets hysterical. Such a mess.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Diziet Sma says:

    If they haven’t even got their act together to have the website for the game live it doesn’t bode well, does it?

  8. trjp says:

    You’d love to have been there when they said

    “Who should play Scotty then”

    and someone said

    “Simon Pegg”

    You could have killed everyone in the room and not caused a loss to mankind of any meaningful sort.

    I know Doohan wasn’t Scottish either but there comes a time when you have to say “WTF!”

    • DickSocrates says:

      Should have got Dougray Scott, for multiple reasons, none of which being his suitability.

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      RedViv says:

      “We need someone from those islands there. Someone a bit funny. Any suggestions?”

    • Premium User Badge

      AlwaysRight says:

      I would give an inordinate amount of money to see Limmy as Scotty.

      • iucounu says:

        Yeah, but actually: Rab. Why isn’t Rab playing Scotty? He could put a wig on.

        • Premium User Badge

          AlwaysRight says:

          Rab: “Beam yersel up, ya wee ride!”

        • Premium User Badge

          Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

          “Scotty! We need more power!”

          “I’m rolling as fast as I can, but I’m not getting enough sixes! Somebody move more Meeples to the ‘power’ section of the board. I’ll trade dilithium and some photon torpedoes for any extra power anyone’s been hoarding! Did somebody jog the mouse to stop the screensaver?”

  9. CutieKnucklePie says:

    The Helios Device, made to rebuild Vulcan.. sounds suspiciously like a Genesis Device I once knew.

  10. Bhazor says:

    1:30

    Wait. The big screen at the front of the ship is a windscreen? Wha-?

    • Premium User Badge

      PoulWrist says:

      Apparently in the primitive starship of this time it was :p

      I want a new Trek game set in the DS9 era/universe… not this new stuff :|

      Also, I have just spent the last year and a half watching every episode of Star Trek the Next Generation followed by all episodes of Deep Space 9 and finally Voyager… I want more! I did watch all the movies as well.. late-in-life trekkie O.o

      • Carwash says:

        Won’t be getting any of the “old”/”original” timeline stuff again… for a very very long time, if ever.

    • Carwash says:

      It was like that in the last movie. Doubles as the “view screen” and a window.

  11. westyfield says:

    No Bones? But he’s the best character!

  12. Strutter says:

    I feel like that trailer spoiled the whole game.

    • CutieKnucklePie says:

      If that spoiled it, then there wasn’t much there to spoil. The universe is in danger blah blah blah..

  13. Screamer says:

    I like the 3 day wait. I have time to cancel my pre-order if its crap!

  14. Ansob says:

    But is it actually any good?

  15. nimzy says:

    Maybe there’s more to the story than meets the eye. ESRB certification takes a while, and I anticipate PEGI takes just as long (if not longer). Neither organization publishes estimated certification times for developers/publishers or the general public though.

  16. Premium User Badge

    wyrmsine says:

    Does the game have some sort of medicinal property? Because at £40, I’d expect it to alleviate psoriasis or something.

  17. bstard says:

    It all looks like a bunch of good reasons to spend those 50euro’s on booze or worse..

  18. Persus-9 says:

    There is certainly an odd juxtaposition between the industry on the one hand screaming at us that we must not miss out on the chance to pre-order to get the game as soon as it is released and then, once they’ve whipped up the market into a frenzy of desire to get the game on the day it is released, making a huge number of their customers wait another few days. Awesome offers on Bioshock Infinite offers aside, I say screw the whole thing; I’ll wait until the price drops. One of the great things about games is that, unlike bread, they don’t start to go bad only a few days after they come out the oven.

  19. honky mcgee says:

    [Piracy dances across the screen, waggling its hands and tipping its hat.]

    It’s comment bait! He might as well have said

    “Hey little girl want some candy? Get in the van!”

    • John Walker says:

      Er, except, you’re the only one who commented on it.

      • Hmm-Hmm. says:

        Well, that’s obviously because most RPS folk are a bit weary from all the previous piracy discussions to have another one. ‘sides, doesn’t look like this will be worth much pirating. Maybe a half helping or so.

  20. Dowr says:

    £40 for licensed shovel-ware of a (potentially) terrible film… on PC!

    What is this madness?

    • Carwash says:

      The film and the game don’t have the same story, I don’t think they’re even linked at all…?

      • Dowr says:

        Even if the film and game do not share a plot – the game is obviously engineered as a piece of overpriced merchandise to coincide with the latest film.

  21. Furius says:

    Not only is the VO awful, but it sounds like it was recorded on a Nokia 3310

  22. Thirdstar says:

    Hopefully the Devs can now go back to working more extensively on the most brilliant Warframe.

  23. Creeping Death says:

    That is some really bad/not giving a fuck voice acting!

  24. Quine says:

    Yeah, good luck trying to embargo the entire US until Friday, chaps.

  25. Moraven says:

    At least we got a Shatner commercial out of this.

  26. Iskariot says:

    I hope the reviews are good.
    So far nothing I have seen convinces me.

  27. fish99 says:

    I see new game prices on Steam are still as bad as ever.

  28. Urfin says:

    It’s Warframe reskinned as Star Trek, with cover crap from ME and constant “press E to watch an animation”. Only it’s not fun like Warframe is, which is not all that surprising. Quick buck license game, nothing more.

  29. Picklesworth says:

    With the title of the film (“Star Trek Into Darkness”), I was actually reading this as if the title of the game was “Star Trek Out In The States…” and I thought that was pretty awesome. Am I the only one?

  30. Milky1985 says:

    Turns out this may be a good thing for US in the UK and a bad thing for Namco , apparently they didn’t send out review copies to many places hence no pre-launch reviews, and apparently the game isn’t looking to hot on PC with major connectivity issues.

    You would think that you want to release a stinker everywhere at the same time so people don’t have a chance to notice it smells :p

  31. Lanfranc says:

    Pretty embarassing that their website still isn’t working the day after release.

  32. Sian says:

    Angry Joe is slightly upset about this game. Here’s his PSA, in case anyone is interested:

  33. Sparkasaurusmex says:

    2 things, one’s a question:
    first: You don’t have to sit and wait and you don’t have to resort to piracy. Just find a proxy in a country that has already unlocked the game. This has always worked so far when releases are like this.

    second: what benefit to the publishers gain by releasing things staggered? Surely there is some profitable business reason.

  34. bill says:

    You guys should try living in other countries if you think the UK has it bad.

    I thought the internet was supposed to enable GLOBAL communication and transmission of bits wasn’t supposed to be affected by things like borders. Yet as time goes by I find more and more of my day is spent looking at ‘i’m afraid (service XYZ) isn’t available in your country” notices. All tat seems to have improved over the last 10 years is their ability to determine your location and block it.

    iplayer, spotify, hulu, google music, rdio, last.fm, lots of steam games, most ebooks, any DRM free music downloads, etc… all not available here BY LEGITIMATE MEANS. Or if they are available they are seriously overpriced or locked to a specific service provider.

    All are available here by illegitimate means, and for free, or course.

    • Baines says:

      The internet does enable global communication. But businesses and lawyers both know there is money in restrictions.

  35. Premium User Badge

    Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    I have cast the fiery gaze of judgement upon it*, and found it wanting. My sinister agents shall now travel back in time to cause the publisher to delay it so it doesn’t cross the Atlantic until the reviews have arrived.

    You’re welcome.