Wood Curdling Screams: Lumber Island

By Adam Smith on April 25th, 2013 at 7:00 pm.

Lumber Island is clearly the name of a strategic resource management game about constructing a timber export company, so imagine my surprise when I loaded it up, having decided to flex my management muscles, and found myself in a sinking rowboat, viewing a darkening world from a first-person perspective. I’ve been duped, I thought, there’s no way I can begin my ascent to the top of the lumber industry without access to 57 pie charts and an isometric map. A few minutes later, a lumberjack with a curtain of flesh where his face should be was pursuing me through a forest, his axe ready to chop me in twain. MY BLOOD IS THE RESOURCE THAT HE CRAVES. Lumber Island is a free horror game and you can play the first chapter now.

I couldn’t tell you how long the chapter is because I’ve died twice now and I’ve got to move on to other things. I’d say it’s worth the download though, if only because it’s a horror game that isn’t set in an asylum. In fact, the plot is absolutely bizarre. Would you expect horror if you read this without seeing the trailer?

Back in 1970s, this island was known as the “Lumber Island”. It abounded in rare wood species of the highest quality, which were sought for by the craftsmen from all over the world — many of them took trips to the island in person, to pick the best material. The island thrived on private manufactures and tourism… …until deposits of oil were found under it. This finding doomed the island: its inhabitants were made to leave their home land, the wood was chopped down to the ground. And after the oil had been pumped out to the last drop, the island was left abandoned and totally exhausted.

It’s definitely a metaphor for something.

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30 Comments »

  1. rei says:

    “It’s definitely a metaphor for something.”

    Marriage?

    Am I the only one for whom the video won’t load? :|

  2. analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

    Gerrin, thanks for the heads up.

    Metaphor wise, is Ewar Woowar the protagonist maybe

    • analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

      Think some dramatic music, like Beethoven’s 5th, D, D, D, D!

  3. wasdf says:

    ewww… Desura

  4. strangeloup says:

    Wandering around some dark woods with a torch is certainly something that has not been done to death recently. At least the baddie is scarier than Slenderman.

    (I am assuming the teddy bear is the baddie.)

    • Rincewind says:

      I’d prefer if the baddie were actually a bear.

      Come on, horror games! I want to be atmospherically wandering through dark woods, spot an adorable little bear cub, turn around, and OH GOD NO IT’S A MAMA BEAR ARGGGGH WHERE ARE MY LIMBS!

      • Kentauroi says:

        Actually I’d love to see a survival game where your survival in the wilderness is the premise. Wild animal attacks, gathering food and having it attract scavengers, sleeping in the wrong place and then waking up covered in spiders, that could potentially make for a really cool game.

        You could even make the game similar to FTL in goals, make it from point A to B alive in a dynamic environment.

        • Abattur says:

          Have you tried UnrealWorld yet? It just went freeware.

          • Geen says:

            Unreal World is less horror and more bear-shanking badger-dueling awesomeness

        • grenadeh says:

          What idiot would go in dark bear infested woods without a gun? I assume that to be near a bear you have to actually be in a wilderness area, increasing your likelihood of being a hunter, meaning you should have the common sense to be armed – though I guess the fact that you’d be out in the woods unprepared, like a moron, would preclude you having common sense in the first place.

      • DestructibleEnvironments says:

        So basically Condemned 2 then? It features some good bear action. Granted, only 1 big scene, but it was good at making you empty your bladder.

  5. S Jay says:

    As much information as a Bethesda teaser.

  6. Trillby says:

    I really dont want to lower the tone – it’s low enough already – but does no one else see a thin man having a cheeky wank on the video still?

    And the poor teddy bear just watching, horrifed.

  7. SilentDawn says:

    I was actually excited about a new strategic resource management game. horror games are horrible :(

  8. kibble-n-bullets says:

    That game had me at 0:10 of the trailer.

    I couldn’t make it sound cool if I were to describe it to you, but I know awesome when I see it.

  9. haradaya says:

    Games like this are only scary to me until the baddie appears, and his mechanics are in clear view. How can I be scared when he’s walking in slow motion, and as long as I keep moving, he can’t catch me? Scary is not knowing whether or not I’ll be beheaded.

  10. The Random One says:

    I can’t be the only one who thinks the video’s preview image resembles a wooden statue of a man with a huge member masturbating. Can I? I may need to be put away if I am.

    • Popotter says:

      After seeing it, I checked through all comments to find somone who had thought the same as me. When I found I was not alone, I registered and posted for the first time just to let you know. Now I’m at peace with the Universe.

    • DestructibleEnvironments says:

      Oh god yes. That was my first thought too. :(

  11. Guzzleguts says:

    Well, I tried it. Obviously I have less patience than Mr Smith because I’m going to ‘move on to other things’ after only 1 death.
    Those other things might even include cleaning the toilet or doing some laundry.
    My main impression was of miasmata at night except even more laggy, and without special features such as y-axis inversion.