The RPS 17,777th Party Post: Curtain Simulator 2013

By Craig Pearson on July 19th, 2013 at 9:00 am.

That is a curtain!
If you think about it, curtains are responsible for our sanity. Without them we wouldn’t be able to be ourselves. Imagine spending all your time putting on a front, putting on trousers. No, curtains are pretty much necessary to keep the world a sane, less testicley place. Which means it’s about time they entered popular culture via a game. Curtain Simulator 2013 is that game. A game where you can twitch curtains in various scenarios. You’ll be relaxing in a front room, or attending the horrors of some sort of electronic dance event, where all manner of curtains are simulated. Plucking at the billowing material can be surprisingly relaxing, but you can pluck too hard, shredding them into confetti. It’ about five minutes of fun, or ten if you have a drape fetish. Warning: the rest of this post has nothing to do with curtains.

The CMS is telling me that this is the 17,777th post to appear on RPS. To celebrate, the rest of it will be a dump of the GIFs I’d intended to use in RPS posts. Why not now?

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13 Comments »

  1. zachforrest says:

    Curtain twitching? Testicles?! GIFS!!? It’s a Flare Path day Craig! For gods sake tidy this mess up before Mr Stone gets here!

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      Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      Oh God, remember the last time? Ten thousand screaming Zulu warriors, the Norfolk Twitchers’ Association, and an entire wing of the Luftwaffe’s maintenance and catering division made a precision strike on hex B6.

      Jim spent a week scattered and suppressed, trying to find someone who knew the rules on how to regroup and rally.

      • HothMonster says:

        We knew the rules, but we needed the rally flag which Adam had left at his Gran’s house. So John had to knit a new one on the spot using the only fabric he had ample supply of: neck beard hairs that have accumulated on his reading desk after falling out of hate mail from men’s rights activists.

        And while it was a disgusting flag made of crazy hate filled hair, I still think burning it was the wrong move.

    • The Random One says:

      What? Flare Path? Wait wait I got this, that curtain is clearly an Aperture Max Pro 1960 (you can tell it isn’t the 1961 model by the ovoid hangers), and that cat is a black-coated Minesotta roller, and Riker is a Mark V, so the theme is… Austin Powers?

  2. strange_headache says:

    Curtain simulator, GOTY right there. Already looking forward to the sequel, shutter simulator 2014, where they added brilliant new scenarios such as detective, psycho killer and voyeur.

  3. gunny1993 says:

    I thought this was going to be an expansion for “bored old lady simulator 2012″ where you sat looking at your copy of the daily mail and then (with the expansion) occasionally moved to twitch your curtains to see what “those ones from next door that weren’t born here” were doing.

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    DrScuttles says:

    In keeping with the spirit of frivolity, here’s an obligatory doctor, doctor joke.

    As for the game, I really do feel that Curtain Simulator 2013 is what we need to show the dissenters who don’t believe video games can be art.

  5. Tridae says:

    That cat gets me every time

  6. bstard says:

    The little beard of Jim is up to this far the most scary thing I saw today. Pretty impressive considering I wend to work by public transport.

  7. PopeRatzo says:

    Fenestration makes me hot.

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    Bluerps says:

    The Riker gif is a work of art.

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