By Cara Ellison on July 31st, 2013 at 8:00 am.
Those lovely scamps over at Arenanet are planning a Jubilee on the 6th of August to celebrate Queen Jennah’s ten year rule. It seems like a super nice idea, they are putting on a hot air balloon collection service to the Crown Pavilion so you can go to the gladiatorial events and jump around or whatever it is that people do when they are watching something in Guild Wars 2.
Is Queen Jennah a good queen? Does she deserve a Jubilee? Will Jubilee from the X-Men show up? She had better.
You can catch a sneak peek at early footage of the Jubilee on Monday 5th August at 9PM CEST (what is 9pm CEST? Is that when 9pm goes and fucks itself?) on the Guild Wars 2 Twitch.
You will be Igniting some Beacons of Kryta, you can test yourself in the Crown Pavilion by battling “mighty representations of humanity’s enemies” – “By representing various cities of Tyria, you can be named champion of a nation and gain access to unique reward vendors,” and in the Queen’s Gauntlet you get a chance to show off to the crowd with all your hard-earned abilities before you get throne out. They’re also testing out new Watchwork Mechanisms, which lead to new rune and sigil recipes, or can be used in crafting, and if you complete the Queen’s Jubilee meta achievement you can get a new mini Watchknight that will follow you around like a tiny creepy robot.
Added to all this, so much more stuff is being rolled out:
Permanent Finishers (Permanent fishers might also be good)
World vs. World Supply Mastery (I imagine worlds need more supplies to fight each other)
PvP Solo Queue (a lot like waiting in a queue to pee in a cubicle if you are a dude)
Improved Effects Level of Detail System (when I worked at Rockstar we had a little song for Level of Detail that went LOD LOD LOD LOD LOD LOD like to jingle bells but, yeah okay it’s not a very good song)
Mini-Game Rotation System (Where you turn mini-games around to look at them like in LA Noire)
Bonus Rewards for Dungeons (Extra rewards in dungeons)
Champion Loot Updates (Champion loot sah! Champion old bean!)
Account Wallet for Currency (A wallet.)
I’m not too sure about the name Jennah. It doesn’t seem very queen-like to me. I had a friend… a “friend” called Jenna at school who used to throw chairs at me and in techie class she’d file all the glitter off my hair clips. She talked with a kind of sneer, like someone who had put too much Bonjela in her mouth all at once and her jaw had gone slack. “Caraaaaa,” she’d say with chewing gum in her mouth, “Caraaaaa fucking give me your spare tampon or I’ll tell Mike you want to gie him a trap.” I will now leave everyone who isn’t from Aberdeen to figure out what all that means.
Look at the full update here. Starts on August the 6th!