Lost Planet 3 Will Rupture Your Eyeballs

By Adam Smith on August 6th, 2013 at 12:00 pm.

What’s the best way to advertise an entertainment product such as Lost Planet 3? Perhaps you’d describe to people what the stand-out features of the product are, explaining precisely what experiences lie in wait? Maybe you’d choose to entice them with the promise of a powerful narrative? Or, as Capcom do here, you could simply describe, in horrific detail, what happens to the human body when it is exposed to extremely cold conditions. “Your eyeballs frost over and, as ocular fluids freeze, rupture in their sockets.” Eek. I think my eyeballs just flinched. Once I’ve recovered from the shock, I’m going to expend a great deal of time and energy attempting to convince Werner Herzog to re-record the narration in the trailer. It would be beautiful.

Herzog’s Lost Planet 4.

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23 Comments »

Top comments

  1. rustybroomhandle says:

    That must already be a thing because the sequel, Herzog Zwei came out in 1989.

  1. AlwaysRight says:

    “With 5000 kilometers ahead of him, he’s heading toward certain death…”

    Werner Herzog is awesome, have you seen the footage of him getting shot while being interviewed by Mark Kermode?

    …Also PC games.

  2. Unclepauly says:

    Mysteriously this video hasn’t changed my opinion on the game.

    • bstard says:

      Ehm wut so you didnt clicked the penguin video and forgot all about some game then? How is possible..

  3. trjp says:

    Man that trailer was depressing and pointless…

  4. BobbyDylan says:

    Maaann… I’m so frikken bumbed about this poor penguin now!

  5. KwisatzHaderach says:

    If “paradoxical undressing” will be implemented well, I might give this game a shot.

  6. CobraLad says:

    Why didnt they helped that penguin. Are they Pa Kent or something?

    • Stochastic says:

      According to the video, even if they had caught him and brought him back to the penguin colony, he would have immediately headed back towards the mountains.

    • hjd_uk says:

      Why help pollute the gene-pool with a clearly unfit penguin?

  7. Screamer says:

    Capcom sure like their Lost Planet!

  8. int says:

    Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell’s tungsten carbide drills?

    • The Random One says:

      It’s the name of my new electronica band and you can’t have it coz I called dibs first.

    • fiendling says:

      Tungsten Carbide is a mixture of Tungsten and Carbon. It is exceptionally hard and a much cheaper alternative to industrial diamond drill bits.

  9. The Random One says:

    A trailer for a game that tells me nothing about the game. I feel I’ve been left in the cold. Not cool, Capcom.

    • lokimotive says:

      I like how the trailer describes freezing to death in excruciating detail and then shows people shooting each other without any protective gear on their heads. Oh, so freezing to death isn’t really a game play mechanic? You just wanted to talk about it?

  10. hjd_uk says:

    Option A: Follow penguins to left. (FOOD)
    Option B: Follow penguins to right. (SAFETY)

    Zzzzrrrrt!
    RNG ERROR!
    Kzzzrt!

    Chose Option -1: Cut lose and run for the hills. (BANANA!)

  11. waltC says:

    I guess the message is: Don’t travel to the Lost Planet and get lost there wearing nothing but a Penguin suit while you’re carrying a malfunctioning compass (or else the compass is OK but the Lost Planet’s poles have reversed)… ? Where is the Lost Planet, anyway? I haven’t been able to find it. [*glurb*]