Why Not: Saints Row 4 Gets $1 Million Special Edition

By Nathan Grayson on August 10th, 2013 at 9:00 am.

Saints Row 5's special edition will allow you to buy your way into actual Presidency. Of Earth.

Gaming industry, you can stop releasing progressively more expensive and unnecessary collector’s editions now. Saints Row 4 has won – and quite handily, at that. A single, deranged soul can now obtain a $1 million version of the utterly unhinged open-world superhero United States President sim, netting them everything from a Lamborghini and plastic surgery to a trip to outer goddamn space. Why? Because Saints Row, that’s why. Does Deep Silver really need another reason?

While I shake my head in silent resignation to the fact that the world has gone completely bonkers and nothing will ever be the same, here’s a list of all the Saints Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition‘s contents. And yes, this is actually really, really real.

  • Saints Row IV: Commander in Chief Edition
  • A full sized replica Dubstep Gun
  • A full day of spy training
  • A trip to space with Virgin Galactic
  • One year’s membership of E25 Super Car Club and a Lamborghini Gallardo to make it worthwhile
  • Plastic Surgery of the purchaser’s choice
  • A shopping spree with a personal shopper to create the ultimate Planet Saints capsule wardrobe
  • 7 nights for two at The Jefferson Hotel in Washington
  • Hostage rescue experience
  • A brand new Toyota Prius and insurance to give something back to the environment
  • 7 nights stay in the Top Royal Suite at the Burj-al-arab with flights for two

Is that a $1 million value? Does it really even matter at this point? Is there anybody on planet Earth with the means, desire, and not-right-in-the-head-ness to empty one of their Scrooge-McDuck-esque swimming pools of money for this theme park tour of human civilization?

What a silly question. Of course there is. I’m really not sure how to feel about that.

But even as that paragon of princely privilege builds a house made of money so that their other money can be warm during the artificially manufactured winter money blizzards, they should be aware of this little caveat: “Koch Media especially reserve the right to remove or amend contents of the Super Dangerous Wad Wad edition.” So what you see may not necessarily be what you get.

Not that it really matters because this is just a giant publicity stunt, but whatever. Still worthwhile to read the fine print when – again, and I am still reeling from this – $1 million is on the line.

The package is exclusive to GAME, if you’re actually interested (and haven’t already instead decided to donate all that money to RPS because we can offer scrumptious cookies and Horace’s world famous Infinite Hug). That’s a bit strange given that they don’t actually deal in dollars (to my knowledge), but whatever. This whole thing makes very, very little sense, so in that sense it kind of makes, er… sense. FUCK IT I’M DONE.

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103 Comments »

  1. cedra says:

    i’m

    what

    • Chalky says:

      You’ve got to admit, the whole point of saint’s row is being a completely over the top self parody and they certainly seem to know how to pull it off.

      That’s really quite wonderful. I’d love to know whether someone actually buys it.

      • mouton says:

        I am positive the fine print says “you cannot buy this”.

        • Triplanetary says:

          I am positive the fine print says “you cannot buy this”.

          Why? For a million dollars they can certainly arrange all this shit, and even if their profit margin on it is 1%, it’s still more money than they’re getting out of you or me when we buy our regular, no-spaceflight-included edition.

  2. baby snot says:

    There’s no such thing as giving back to the environment by driving a car.

  3. FurryLippedSquid says:

    Notch will buy it and donate it to charity.

    17/1

  4. PearlChoco says:

    Does it include all DLC?

  5. jpvg says:

    I will wait until the holiday sale to get the 50% off before buying.

  6. Boosh says:

    not that I’ve ever let what other people spend their money on bother me in the slightest…but the Lambo and the space flight make up 500k on their own, but I’m really struggling to see how the rest is anywhere near another 500k.

    I’m guessing the commander in chief edition is worth about $100k!
    Which would make it almost as extortionate as the Eve Online second decade collectors edition.

    • Malcolm says:

      Ars Technica totted up the contents and got to $630,000 so it’s a bit of a rip off. But then again I’m not sure the normal parameters of value for money really apply here.

      • mouton says:

        Really? I was positive it would all cost more than 1 million. I guess dollars devalued a bit too much in my mind recently.

      • skittles says:

        Well I find the price varies a fair bit depending on what model of Lamborghini it is. Depending on what it has it can go up from $250,000 quite a bit or significantly down also.

        The only definite price there is the VG trip which is $250,000. The others can all vary quite a bit in cost. And the Ars sources there are a bit dodgy for some of the categories. Especially so given that they don’t even properly add some categories. The flights the quote are only one-way. Not a huge increase sure, but it shows they really aren’t factoring costing very well. Doesn’t include concierge costs for a ton of this stuff, and I imagine they will pay for a good proportions of activities you do on you stays in Washington and Dubai. I highly doubt they will dump you with a ticket a hotel room and get you to organise everything else about the stay.

    • TechnicalBen says:

      I think they should troll harder. Release an “special edition” where they turned a single bit from a one to a zero. Charge what ever they want for it.

    • Boffin says:

      This article adds it up to be at least $800,000, with some stuff left out.
      http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielnyegriffiths/2013/08/09/mad-million-costing-the-million-dollar-limited-edition-of-saints-row-iv/

      It’s interesting to see the different prices they’re working with for things, I thought most of this stuff would have a pretty clear price tag.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Any leftover value is effectively “because you can”; it’s a premium that the market is willing to pay just to have that particular thing.

      (Apple do the same thing, he says, lighting the blue touchpaper and retreating to a safe distance.)

  7. Wonkyth says:

    Hmm, I don’t know if I want to leave my snazzy armchair. Is it possible I can get this in digital?

  8. staberas says:

    So if i donated 1M dollars (In Dr,. Evil’s voice) i’ll get hugs from Nathan and Cara? :D

  9. albertino says:

    I demand a fully-functional Dubstep Gun for that price.

    Oh the fun you could have: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDJOeCUYIqY

  10. dontnormally says:

    Corridor Digital is awesome and a replica of their dubstep gun would be awesome.

  11. cpt_freakout says:

    Deep Silver is giving Akklaim a run for their money.

  12. Muzman says:

    I hope Kim Dotcom buys it. That would be fitting somehow.

  13. aircool says:

    That’s just…. genius.

  14. Utsunomiya says:

    Will there be a 75% discount? :>

  15. AlmostPalpable says:

    I weep for humanity. I always considered the Saints Row games to be pretty rubbish and The Third was too cringe-inducing to me within the first minute of trying it out. God knows what kind of people they are aiming this at, people who inherit loads of money from their oil-baron parents? Surely nobody who is even remotely sane and/or that knows the value of money would waste that much on some dumb game that tries way too hard at everything to the point of missing all of the marks it aims for completely and utterly?

  16. Ironclad says:

    time to go through the sofa cushions again…

  17. MartinNr5 says:

    I’ll wait for the Steam Sale.

  18. Beernut says:

    Deep Silver have a real talent for keeping themselves in the news, be it things like “torso-gate” or now this.
    I wonder, if there will be an upgrade-option for owners of the regular editions, maybe as $999941 DLC. Would be a shame of you’d have to buy the base-game twice, just to get the little extras (Lamborghini & stuff).

  19. Goodtwist says:

    I’d totally buy it but all the hotel offers are for two people and I’m all alone.

  20. realitysconcierge says:

    I wonder what part of the hostage rescue you would be involved in.

    • Alexander says:

      You’re the man or woman behind the curtain that presses buttons, turns levers and speaks in different voices and decides how the operation goes.

    • Henson says:

      …the hostage?

      • Phantom_Renegade says:

        Considering the amount of money such a person would apparently have to throw around, that would be a real possibility:P

    • Gap Gen says:

      Expressing how pleased they are with the progress of the XCOM project?

    • belgand says:

      That’s one of the places where they lost me. I’m not particularly interested in hostage rescue. Now, hostage taking… that’s a totally different story. Especially if I get to thwart those jerks trying to rescue my hostage Dungeon Keeper style.

      If all I want is a hostage for the afternoon though (or to be that hostage should that be your preference) there are quite a number of organizations and private contractors ready and willing to bring your fantasy to life.

    • Hahaha says:

      The same part people with the cash to spend on this would of played last time.

  21. Alexander says:

    [edited]

  22. goettel says:

    Any bonus miles on that ?

  23. SuicideKing says:

    Do people who play Saints Row even have that kind of money?

  24. FriendGaru says:

    Man, they’re really preying on my bundle buying compulsiveness.

  25. MisterFurious says:

    What’s sad is that someone will buy this and they’ll brag about it, too.

  26. PopeRatzo says:

    I’m only interested if the package includes a real-world version of the gun that you stick up someone’s but and launch them into the air.

  27. drewski says:

    I hate paying for things I don’t intend to use and I’m not interested in plastic surgery, so I’m out.

  28. running fungus says:

    That’s… some very impressive swag. I was figuring this was to sell on novelty factor alone.

  29. Nurdell says:

    I don’t usually preorder games.
    But when I do it’s Saints Row IV Hyper WUB-WUB edition

  30. psepho says:

    This is totally fantastic! I will never look at a po-faced, ‘digital lithograph’ edition in the same way again…

  31. machineageproductions says:

    I think I’m going to wait for the Steam sale.

  32. belgand says:

    Working Pixel Tank or GTFO.

  33. Svardskampe says:

    Do I get a discount if I trade in my old lamborghini?

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