Why Not: Saints Row 4 Gets $1 Million Special Edition

By Nathan Grayson on August 10th, 2013 at 9:00 am.

Saints Row 5's special edition will allow you to buy your way into actual Presidency. Of Earth.

Gaming industry, you can stop releasing progressively more expensive and unnecessary collector’s editions now. Saints Row 4 has won – and quite handily, at that. A single, deranged soul can now obtain a $1 million version of the utterly unhinged open-world superhero United States President sim, netting them everything from a Lamborghini and plastic surgery to a trip to outer goddamn space. Why? Because Saints Row, that’s why. Does Deep Silver really need another reason?

While I shake my head in silent resignation to the fact that the world has gone completely bonkers and nothing will ever be the same, here’s a list of all the Saints Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition‘s contents. And yes, this is actually really, really real.

  • Saints Row IV: Commander in Chief Edition
  • A full sized replica Dubstep Gun
  • A full day of spy training
  • A trip to space with Virgin Galactic
  • One year’s membership of E25 Super Car Club and a Lamborghini Gallardo to make it worthwhile
  • Plastic Surgery of the purchaser’s choice
  • A shopping spree with a personal shopper to create the ultimate Planet Saints capsule wardrobe
  • 7 nights for two at The Jefferson Hotel in Washington
  • Hostage rescue experience
  • A brand new Toyota Prius and insurance to give something back to the environment
  • 7 nights stay in the Top Royal Suite at the Burj-al-arab with flights for two

Is that a $1 million value? Does it really even matter at this point? Is there anybody on planet Earth with the means, desire, and not-right-in-the-head-ness to empty one of their Scrooge-McDuck-esque swimming pools of money for this theme park tour of human civilization?

What a silly question. Of course there is. I’m really not sure how to feel about that.

But even as that paragon of princely privilege builds a house made of money so that their other money can be warm during the artificially manufactured winter money blizzards, they should be aware of this little caveat: “Koch Media especially reserve the right to remove or amend contents of the Super Dangerous Wad Wad edition.” So what you see may not necessarily be what you get.

Not that it really matters because this is just a giant publicity stunt, but whatever. Still worthwhile to read the fine print when – again, and I am still reeling from this – $1 million is on the line.

The package is exclusive to GAME, if you’re actually interested (and haven’t already instead decided to donate all that money to RPS because we can offer scrumptious cookies and Horace’s world famous Infinite Hug). That’s a bit strange given that they don’t actually deal in dollars (to my knowledge), but whatever. This whole thing makes very, very little sense, so in that sense it kind of makes, er… sense. FUCK IT I’M DONE.

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103 Comments »

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  1. cedra says:

    i’m

    what

    • Chalky says:

      You’ve got to admit, the whole point of saint’s row is being a completely over the top self parody and they certainly seem to know how to pull it off.

      That’s really quite wonderful. I’d love to know whether someone actually buys it.

      • mouton says:

        I am positive the fine print says “you cannot buy this”.

        • Triplanetary says:

          I am positive the fine print says “you cannot buy this”.

          Why? For a million dollars they can certainly arrange all this shit, and even if their profit margin on it is 1%, it’s still more money than they’re getting out of you or me when we buy our regular, no-spaceflight-included edition.

  2. baby snot says:

    There’s no such thing as giving back to the environment by driving a car.

  3. FurryLippedSquid says:

    Notch will buy it and donate it to charity.

    17/1

    • BooleanBob says:

      I kinda think most charities would prefer the million bucks.

      • FurryLippedSquid says:

        You’re right, I didn’t think my whimsical internet comment through.

  4. PearlChoco says:

    Does it include all DLC?

  5. jpvg says:

    I will wait until the holiday sale to get the 50% off before buying.

  6. Boosh says:

    not that I’ve ever let what other people spend their money on bother me in the slightest…but the Lambo and the space flight make up 500k on their own, but I’m really struggling to see how the rest is anywhere near another 500k.

    I’m guessing the commander in chief edition is worth about $100k!
    Which would make it almost as extortionate as the Eve Online second decade collectors edition.

    • Premium User Badge

      Malcolm says:

      Ars Technica totted up the contents and got to $630,000 so it’s a bit of a rip off. But then again I’m not sure the normal parameters of value for money really apply here.

      • mouton says:

        Really? I was positive it would all cost more than 1 million. I guess dollars devalued a bit too much in my mind recently.

      • skittles says:

        Well I find the price varies a fair bit depending on what model of Lamborghini it is. Depending on what it has it can go up from $250,000 quite a bit or significantly down also.

        The only definite price there is the VG trip which is $250,000. The others can all vary quite a bit in cost. And the Ars sources there are a bit dodgy for some of the categories. Especially so given that they don’t even properly add some categories. The flights the quote are only one-way. Not a huge increase sure, but it shows they really aren’t factoring costing very well. Doesn’t include concierge costs for a ton of this stuff, and I imagine they will pay for a good proportions of activities you do on you stays in Washington and Dubai. I highly doubt they will dump you with a ticket a hotel room and get you to organise everything else about the stay.

    • TechnicalBen says:

      I think they should troll harder. Release an “special edition” where they turned a single bit from a one to a zero. Charge what ever they want for it.

      • phelix says:

        bAwesomenessRestrictions= “0”

      • Juan Carlo says:

        Yeah, so can we all agree that whoever buys this should just be executed? I’m generally a pacifist, but who ever buys this should be thrown into a volcano for the good of humanity.

        • Geen says:

          I’m with you. Sacrifice them to Khorne, for the greater good.

        • Premium User Badge

          xao says:

          Yeah, this is much worse than spending a million dollars on a supercar (or part of one). Damn those rich people and their spending of money on things they don’t need!

    • Boffin says:

      This article adds it up to be at least $800,000, with some stuff left out.
      http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielnyegriffiths/2013/08/09/mad-million-costing-the-million-dollar-limited-edition-of-saints-row-iv/

      It’s interesting to see the different prices they’re working with for things, I thought most of this stuff would have a pretty clear price tag.

      • nrvsNRG says:

        They added it up to $800k but thats not including the plastic surgery and wardrobe cost. So it could well be $1m.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Any leftover value is effectively “because you can”; it’s a premium that the market is willing to pay just to have that particular thing.

      (Apple do the same thing, he says, lighting the blue touchpaper and retreating to a safe distance.)

      • Premium User Badge

        Gap Gen says:

        Apple’s margins are gigantic compared to other computer makers. Their market share isn’t huge, but what they do have they skim muchos dineros off the top.

      • Ericston says:

        Also known as “conspicuous consumption”.

  7. Wonkyth says:

    Hmm, I don’t know if I want to leave my snazzy armchair. Is it possible I can get this in digital?

  8. staberas says:

    So if i donated 1M dollars (In Dr,. Evil’s voice) i’ll get hugs from Nathan and Cara? :D

  9. albertino says:

    I demand a fully-functional Dubstep Gun for that price.

    Oh the fun you could have: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDJOeCUYIqY

  10. dontnormally says:

    Corridor Digital is awesome and a replica of their dubstep gun would be awesome.

  11. Premium User Badge

    cpt_freakout says:

    Deep Silver is giving Akklaim a run for their money.

  12. Muzman says:

    I hope Kim Dotcom buys it. That would be fitting somehow.

  13. aircool says:

    That’s just…. genius.

  14. Utsunomiya says:

    Will there be a 75% discount? :>

  15. AlmostPalpable says:

    I weep for humanity. I always considered the Saints Row games to be pretty rubbish and The Third was too cringe-inducing to me within the first minute of trying it out. God knows what kind of people they are aiming this at, people who inherit loads of money from their oil-baron parents? Surely nobody who is even remotely sane and/or that knows the value of money would waste that much on some dumb game that tries way too hard at everything to the point of missing all of the marks it aims for completely and utterly?

    • PearlChoco says:

      I’m pretty sure they never intend to sell it. It’s just a marketing move, this action gets loads of coverage on blogs and websites, even non-gaming sites.

    • mouton says:

      THIS makes you weep for humanity? You really should check the news sometimes.

    • Premium User Badge

      kregg says:

      If SR3 made you weep for humanity, then you have a lot of learning on humanity and weeping for humanity to do.

      Here’s some to start you off: http://news.bbc.co.uk and just in case that doesn’t work, http://www.everydaysexism.com/

      • chargen says:

        BBC’s biased and awful news reporting makes me weep for humanity, yes. It’s like the liberal, antiCatholic Fox News. This is 100m people’s main news source?
        And so does the whiny Sexism Is Bad site. This is all these people have to worry about? My boyfriend is an asshole, someone sympathize with me! Talk about privilege, there go my tears again.

        • aircool says:

          It is the anti-fox; just as bad, but in a different way.

        • Phasma Felis says:

          Says the guy getting butthurt over a video game.

          • Premium User Badge

            jrodman says:

            OO me me I’m butthurt over a videogame!

            Oh you didn’t mean me. :-(

            Seriously why do I keep dying in dungeon crawl? Who made it so haaaarrrrd.

    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      You got us all wrong. Humans LAUGH at something like this (that’s the point, after all) we do not WEEP. That’s for sad things, not silly things.

    • Barman1942 says:

      They aimed it at people with a sense of humor.

  16. Ironclad says:

    time to go through the sofa cushions again…

  17. MartinNr5 says:

    I’ll wait for the Steam Sale.

  18. Beernut says:

    Deep Silver have a real talent for keeping themselves in the news, be it things like “torso-gate” or now this.
    I wonder, if there will be an upgrade-option for owners of the regular editions, maybe as $999941 DLC. Would be a shame of you’d have to buy the base-game twice, just to get the little extras (Lamborghini & stuff).

    • dethtoll says:

      To be fair, this is way funnier and way more brilliant than Torsogate.

  19. Premium User Badge

    Goodtwist says:

    I’d totally buy it but all the hotel offers are for two people and I’m all alone.

    • Alexander says:

      Just buy some wives, girlfriends and girls that put you in the friendzone.

    • mouton says:

      Anyone with that kind of money and still being all alone would be doing something very very wrong.

  20. realitysconcierge says:

    I wonder what part of the hostage rescue you would be involved in.

    • Alexander says:

      You’re the man or woman behind the curtain that presses buttons, turns levers and speaks in different voices and decides how the operation goes.

    • Henson says:

      …the hostage?

      • Phantom_Renegade says:

        Considering the amount of money such a person would apparently have to throw around, that would be a real possibility:P

    • Premium User Badge

      Gap Gen says:

      Expressing how pleased they are with the progress of the XCOM project?

    • belgand says:

      That’s one of the places where they lost me. I’m not particularly interested in hostage rescue. Now, hostage taking… that’s a totally different story. Especially if I get to thwart those jerks trying to rescue my hostage Dungeon Keeper style.

      If all I want is a hostage for the afternoon though (or to be that hostage should that be your preference) there are quite a number of organizations and private contractors ready and willing to bring your fantasy to life.

    • Hahaha says:

      The same part people with the cash to spend on this would of played last time.

  21. Alexander says:

    [edited]

  22. goettel says:

    Any bonus miles on that ?

  23. SuicideKing says:

    Do people who play Saints Row even have that kind of money?

  24. Premium User Badge

    FriendGaru says:

    Man, they’re really preying on my bundle buying compulsiveness.

  25. MisterFurious says:

    What’s sad is that someone will buy this and they’ll brag about it, too.

    • Premium User Badge

      Gap Gen says:

      Bear in mind the plastic surgery says “we think you’re as ugly as you are stupid”.

  26. PopeRatzo says:

    I’m only interested if the package includes a real-world version of the gun that you stick up someone’s but and launch them into the air.

  27. Premium User Badge

    drewski says:

    I hate paying for things I don’t intend to use and I’m not interested in plastic surgery, so I’m out.

  28. running fungus says:

    That’s… some very impressive swag. I was figuring this was to sell on novelty factor alone.

  29. Nurdell says:

    I don’t usually preorder games.
    But when I do it’s Saints Row IV Hyper WUB-WUB edition

  30. Premium User Badge

    psepho says:

    This is totally fantastic! I will never look at a po-faced, ‘digital lithograph’ edition in the same way again…

  31. machineageproductions says:

    I think I’m going to wait for the Steam sale.

  32. belgand says:

    Working Pixel Tank or GTFO.

  33. Svardskampe says:

    Do I get a discount if I trade in my old lamborghini?