By Craig Pearson on September 6th, 2013 at 5:00 pm.
My usual non-sequitur drivel has no place in this story. The Shadow Warrior trailer has defeated my attempts to recontextualise it for humourous effect, because this trailer does that to the game by showing lots of silly things that you can do. I have no no way in! Blocked by inanity. All I can do is resort to facts and hope that it’s a temporary discombobulation. Fact: this is a trailer of the upcoming remake of Shadow Warrior. Fact: it is being developed by Flying Wild Hog. Fact: it will be published by Devolver Digital. Fact: I laughed 3.4 times, and smiled twice. Fact: it is available in 240p, 360p, 490p, 720p, and 1080p. Fact: I have posted it below.
Oh no, I can’t stop facting! Fact: The woolly mammoth was around when the pyramids were being built. Facccttthnng: there is a colony of wild wallabies in Scotland that are confined to a small island. FACTTTTFDGSDFGS: Dolph Lundgren has a master’s degree in chemical engineering, and was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. FCCCAAACCACACT: The cadavar of Pope Formosus was dug up and put on trial, and it then went on to kill 430 people before being shot by Jim Corbett. Must. Rein. In. Facts. They are beginning to coalesce into one giant fact. One more before I start unfacting myself with a tabloid newspaper. FACT: Shadow Warrior is out on Sept 26th.