Aulroight, How Am Ya? Travelogue Launch Trailer

By John Walker on September 18th, 2013 at 8:00 pm.

I’ve decided on my favourite thing. It’s when American fantasy refers to “the Midlands”. In Travelogue, you can “change the fate of the Midlands”. Oh, if only that were possible. For instance, I would begin changing the fate of the Midlands by dropping bombs on Stoke On Trent until it was entirely obliterated, and then salt the earth on which it stood such that it could never grow again. Then I’d make it the law that if you call anyone “duck” you get your head chopped off. These options aren’t available in Travelogue, a text-led, map-based RPG from Urban Hermit Games.

It certainly looks primitive, but there’s obviously an awful lot going on in here. And giggling every time it refers to “the Midlands” would keep me going for a while. Also, I’d do my best to profit from pottery.

The game’s out now, and costs $10/£6.49.

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55 Comments »

  1. Drinking with Skeletons says:

    “Primitive” seems appropriate. I know games are super expensive to make, no matter how you look at it, but art is something that should be higher on the list. I don’t mean 3d graphics, incidentally, but art, elements which contribute to a consistent, appropriate, and pleasing aesthetic for the title at hand. Some of the screenshots for John Schaefer’s At the Gates come to mind.

    As an aside, I think that Paradox should either make a game in this style or license the Clausewitz engine. The style is a perfect match!

    • Jools says:

      No offense intended here, but it’s not like most small bedroom developers have a switch between “gameplay” and “art” that they can flip. If you’re a programmer with no art talent or minimal art talent who wants to make a game, well, you’re pretty much boned. Your options are crowd-funding, which is unlikely to be successful when putting your best foot forward means using programmer art, or finding some mythical artist who is willing to work for free on the promise of maybe some future potential payment. The development team for this game seems to be made up of four people, none of which are described as artists on their page.

      All I’m saying is that it’s unlikely that art was a low priority. It’s more likely that the decision was between going with what they’ve got or simply not making the game at all.

      • The Random One says:

        Strange how expecting artists to work for nothing or next to nothing is abuse while expecting the same of programmers is just how the industry works…

  2. thekelvingreen says:

    There’s a D&D adventure called Dark Times in Brighton. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with a hummus shortage.

  3. Anthile says:

    Looks a bit like Darklands reimagined as a flash game.

  4. FurryLippedSquid says:

    “I would begin changing the fate of the Midlands by dropping bombs on Stoke On Trent until it was entirely obliterated”

    The very place where the finest pottery in the world is (was) made?! The place of birth of Reginald Mitchell, designer of the Spitfire aircraft? Which kept this sceptered isle free from oppression?

    Not to mention Stanley Matthews, Phil Taylor, Slash or Robbie Williams, by jove!

    Shame on you, John. SHAME.

  5. arboreal says:

    I’ve always thought it unfair that Highlands and Lowlands seem to convey an air of romance and mystery but Midlands just gets mocked. Come to Coventry and say that stuff, John. Me mam’ll put yow roight.

    • Fiyenyaa says:

      I always found that kind of regional jibing that goes on all the time a bit tiring to be honest. And I like my accent, thanks very much indeed.

      • Vermintide says:

        Bollocks, try being a northerner for a while.

        The way your average poncey southerner journo makes it sound, anything north of Nottingham resembles a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

        • Drinking with Skeletons says:

          You mean filled with murderous rabbits? Good God.

          • edwardoka says:

            Having been to the cave of Caerbannog in real life, I can confirm that there are indeed killer bunnies there.

        • belgand says:

          Meh, every country has that region. The one that tends to be a bit more rural and is usually considered a backwater filled with hicks by the people who don’t live there: England’s North, America’s South, Italy’s South, Newfoundland in Canada, Bavaria in Germany, the list goes on and on. China even seems to change around whether the North or South is more in favor.

          • Pockets says:

            The North isn’t a “rural hicks” type place; the South-West or East Anglia are that. The North’s stereotype is moorland, disused coalmines and abandoned industrial towns.

      • ldemon says:

        Nope, I can’t understand a word you’re saying …

      • Eddy9000 says:

        You obviously aren’t from Birmingham then, we have a sense of humour there.

  6. John Walker says:

    Hey, I lived in Stoke On Stench for TWO YEARS. I know of what horrors I speak, people.

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      Try living there for 13, John. I feel like bursting in to tears right now.

      Still, at least gulls have appeared in the last few years, if you close your eyes you can dream of a better place.

    • Joriath says:

      Having lived in Stoke for two years and nearby for approximately six years I agree that, as the old joke goes, mass destruction would only improve it.

    • Eddy9000 says:

      Did yam gow ‘anley much?

      Seriously I lived there for a bit too and it’s like the city that culture forgot.

    • mouton says:

      So THAT’S what launched you on a desperate and suicidal path of a video game critic.

    • Ergates_Antius says:

      What is it with that [this] part of the world and games journalism? The Gillen, Tim Edwards and you all coming from/formally living in towns within a stones throw of each other*. Are there any others?

      * a) a stones throw if you’re very strong and b) not necessarily at the same time.

      • Dave Tosser says:

        My name is Dave Tosser, and I’m here to warn you of the biggest secret of games journalism.
        The Bath Elitorati is a shadowy cabal of games journalists brought together by their hunger for dominance of print and internet outlets. Founded in the late ninties by a handful of men whose names today carry great weight to all journalists and readers, the Bath Elitorati hide the fearsome ideology of noted political writer Stuart Campbell beneath the guise of a mere games outlet. Having branches in London, Glasgow, West Lothian and (of course) Bath, my sources indicate that there exists one member of the Bath Elitorati in every games outlet in the North Atlantic. Yes, even Faroe Manshoots Monthly.

        Does the name Kieron Gillen mean anything to you? It should. This man is Jason Statham with a Sidewinder. Though he no longer has his claws embedded in games journalism, Gillen remains the most powerful man in the medium. He is the man responsible for a disease that has ravaged our outlets for nearly a decade, saturating our articles and reviews with the most sneeringly sinister content of all: NU SKOOL JOURNALISM.

        What is this twisted psychological warfare, you ask, your unflattering accent placing you as having grown up somewhere near Swindon, where even the Bath Elitorati dare to tread. NU SKOOL JOURNALISM is the Bath Elitorati’s scheme to cripple games journalism from the inside, born of their capitalist sociopathy. It is a dangerous ideology, positing that all pieces of games journalism must contain at least three versions of the writer’s life story, told in exquisite detail but with enough of a tangential reference to a games topic that readers can’t complain about irelevance. Truly a seditious writing style, and one any games journalist you know will use. Unless, as was mentioned earlier, you’re in Swindon. Because it’s shit.

        The Bath Elitorati founded this very website. I put my very account on the line by exposing their sinister machinations. Who knows what lies in store for those of us that dare to challenge the empire of Gillen, Walker, Rossignol, Smith, Campbell, Smith, Bramwell, Florence, Smith, Blyth, Reed and Smith? Everywhere from Sheffield City Centre to the Future Publishing Christmas Party, the Bath Elitorati lurk. They wish to see games journalism destroyed. RPS is just the start. Today, the objectivity. Tomorrow, the puns.

        Heed my words, RPSistas. The Bath Elitorati cannot be stopped unless we stand up to their tyranny.
        http://www.gillenisacrook.co.uk
        -Dave Tosser

  7. dahools says:

    I have to agree with you John. If someone says “alright duck” to me again there’ll be a bloody murder. Do I look like a fecking duck?

    Don’t answer that!

    You bring the bombs I’ll get the salt. We’ll teach those stupid bird lovers for good!

    • Drinking with Skeletons says:

      Interesting. From an American standpoint, that sounds very charming.

      Well, Southern American. We’re big on sir, ma’am, sugar, honey, etc. in a way that the rest of the country isn’t. Fun fact: I once had an extremely awkward phone interview with a woman from New Jersey that was awkward because she opened with an expression of surprise that I would say “yes, ma’am” and generally be polite. I did not get the job.

      • dahools says:

        Sir or ma’am, yes very polite and formal. Cant believe you would fail an interview for using that, the job in reality probably wouldn’t have been worth it. Sugar and honey I wouldn’t use in an interview, maybe if I met someone in a bar would have to see and judge it at the time. Alot more casual that tho probably for friends or partner.

        But perhaps that’s just me..

        • Drinking with Skeletons says:

          Well, “honey” and “sugar” are mostly used by women and would never be used in a job interview (possibly by the interviewer, if she was older, but never by the interviewee).

      • Vermintide says:

        Likewise I find southern American accents very charming. I find most Yank accents intolerably nasal and robotic, but the suthern gennelmayn/beylle is very pleasing.

        The fact that you use pet names for strangers is also very endearing- Over here, we use the word “love” for almost anybody who is the opposite in sex; it seems most Americans have only ever been exposed to this via the character of Jack Sparrow, hence I got a very offended look from a girl in Starbucks in Colorado once.

    • His Dudeness says:

      Eey uup dook!

  8. CMaster says:

    It’s “duc”, at least in the East Midlands.

    I have no idea why.

  9. Eddy9000 says:

    Well I’ll go the the foot of the stairs, this looks roight bostin’!

    As a Brummie living in the big smoke I still get surprised when I have to explain what the word ‘yampy’ means, and then have to explain what ‘it means yow’m a saft lad’ means. Although the big giveaway for someone, no matter how posh they sound being from the west mids is when they pronounce ‘tooth’ as ‘tuth’.

  10. SchmuckyZ says:

    Wrong! All of you! Wrong as wrong can be!

    You want to see the Heart of Darkness, The Land That Time Forgot, the Chav Central of the UK? It`s Portsmouth. Don`t believe the hype about `naval heritage` and all that tourist stuff. We`re talking morbidly obese tattooed women with a selection of kids sired by different smacked-out fathers; a place where the streets are paved with dog crap and vomit and a place which is the end of the line in more ways than one. You want it grim? You want it real? Then you want it Pompey (mush)!

    • dahools says:

      Wow perhaps we should say which places we would like to keep. I seem to have tainted the thread by sowing some nasty seeds of discontent. Its not all that bad.

      Any trading games based in the cotswolds, or the lake district? I suppose all the patrician games have the east coast of the uk covered.

      • trooperwally says:

        Yup, South Oxfordshire’s got that one covered. Stay on the correct side of the Thames and you avoid all the unpleasantness of West Berkshire (Reading… shudder….) and just have beautiful rolling hills, the country’s finest river, received pronunciation and well kept gardens that only an industry of professional landscapers and gardeners could achieve.

        It’s just a pity that this little Eden is almost certainly funded by morally dubious activity in The City and seems to somehow go hand in hand with a Daily Mail fed bigotry.

        Nowhere is perfect.

    • edwardoka says:

      Ah, sounds like a place that Frankie Boyle describes as “a holding pen for the Jeremy Kyle show”, but trust me, until you’ve visited Govan in Glasgow on benefits day, you’ve seen nothing. Brrrr.

  11. soulblur says:

    So, accented comments aside, has anyone tried this?

    • Llamageddon says:

      I’ve tried it and I quite like it, the only downside is v1.00 was quite buggy in the later game, however I have been reporting bugs I’ve found and have not had to wait more then 24 hours for them to be fixed so far. You don’t get that kind of service from EA. As far as the game goes I recommend trying the demo, it’s what made me purchase the game and I haven’t regretted it but it is probably not everyone’s cup of tea.

  12. trooperwally says:

    Thanks you RPS and community! You have made my evening. Reading these replies aloud in the mildly outraged style of BBC’s Points of View to my wife – good fun.

  13. edwardoka says:

    Thars noothink rung woof oh Burminkum ox cent. Oi’m froome Doodloy! (I’m not)

  14. racccoon says:

    Ecky thump!! do do do the funky gibbon! give me some black pudding. hiiiiyaahh!! gooodies goodie goodie.. are we really in the midlands?? :(

  15. amateurviking says:

    When I first moved to the Stoke area I thought everyone knew my name (which is Doug) because duck sounds a bit like Doug. It was quite confusing for a while.

    True story.

    PS I live here and would happily see parts of the place levelled.

  16. Mr.Snowy says:

    Travelodge? Alan Partridge simulator is it?

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