Barney’s Misadventure: Crying Is Not Enough

By Adam Smith on November 22nd, 2013 at 6:00 pm.

Crying Is Not Enough is a third-person adventure game, in which a man named Jacob enters a parallel reality that exists alongside our world, in order to ‘bring his wife back to life’ from a coma. Jacob’s voice is provided by Dean Wendt, who was the voice of Barney, the purple dinosaur. He doesn’t sound very much like Barney in the trailer, but I can’t quite get past the fact that he was Barney for so long. Somebody should really mod the game, when it comes out next year, to replace Jacob’s character model with a skipping, dancing Barney. He wouldn’t really fit in the permanently mood-lit ‘No Man’s Land’ shown in the trailer below but the press release does say that ‘mysterious creatures’ live there. What could be more mysterious than a overly optimistic singing dinosaur made out of felt, with a human being as its sole internal organ?

The scariest thing of all is that the song is now in my head, worming its way around and waiting to burst out at an inopportune moment. I’ll probably start singing it to the person at the checkout in Tesco.

That’s more like it. Or not. The trailer doesn’t contain any combat but there will apparently be “both gun and melee fighting”, as well as a karma system that tracks the player’s actions and alters enemy reactions accordingly.

Crying is Not Enough isn’t a small project. The trailer covers the first episode of the first part of a trilogy, which falls under the name Project Chromopolis, all of which makes me think this might end up being the worst kind of Neverending Story and it’s hard to imagine one worse than any story where this happens.

I saw that when I was a child and I’m amazed that I ever stopped crying.

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15 Comments »

  1. roberthdylan says:

    Napoleon: “This is pretty much the worst video ever made.” Kip: “Napoleon, like anyone could even know that.”

  2. lautalocos says:

    yeah, that voice acting isn´t very good.
    dean wendt should stick to voicing a dancing purple dinosaur, which is way less awesome than it sounds.

  3. Darthus says:

    I agree, but I can’t tell how much of the bad voice acting was due to the acting or that it sounds like whoever wrote the script is not a native English speaker:

    “When we are trying to avoid beginning a fight.” (starting a fight)

    “I’d prefer to tell you the news close up” (face to face).

    Why would you make a game totally revolving around dialogue and voice acting in English and not get a native English speaker to write it?

  4. Flippyot says:

    Sounds kind of like a more emo Max Payne that doesn’t have the gravel in his voice.

    Or a person being moody and dramatic for the sake of those two terms and not actually knowing or feeling what it’s like. Maybe the reality of what it’s really going to cost him for that Barney role has not set in yet.

  5. VolkerPutt says:

    Actually, the last video is part of the reason for the existence of this song:

  6. SillyWizard says:

    CRYFACE

  7. Zoroaster Jones says:

    The saddest part about that scene in The Neverending Story is that the horse actually died filiming it.

    • Phasma Felis says:

      No it didn’t. Something Awful is not a reliable source.

  8. yhancik says:

    “a man named Jacob enters a parallel reality that exists alongside our world, in order to ‘bring his wife back to life’ from a coma”

    Wasn’t that a joke in that Stanley Parable / Raphael video?

  9. guygodbois00 says:

    Pre-alpha trailers? Pre-trailer trailers fad soon to follow, I surmise.

  10. Shadowcat says:

    “Peace is the synonym of Slavery” ??

  11. Fallout says:

    Why is there a ‘Development Build’ label at the lower right corner of the video …

  12. Josh W says:

    .. you have to make little sob noises too.

  13. obd2 says:

    “a man named Jacob enters a parallel reality that exists alongside our world, in order to ‘bring his wife back to life’ from a coma”
    Key Fob Programming