The RPS Super Uplifting And Helpful Holiday Buyer’s Guide

By Nathan Grayson on November 28th, 2013 at 5:00 pm.

It’s almost Black Friday! Also, I guess that Thanksgiving thing is happening somewhere in between for filthy Americans, but that’s just a warm-up. A sentimental stop-gap. What really matters is making sure you get all the things on the cheap before everyone else does. That’s the real spirit of the season. But you can’t do it alone. You need assistance, aid, a helping hand to pluck out the games that’ll help you get ahead in the race to complete your ill-defined goals. Being the holly jolly consumer that I am, I made a quick video for just that purpose. Because what kind of site would RPS be if it didn’t continue such a time-honored, social-pressure-ridden tradition?

(Note: The Super Uplifting and Helpful Holiday Buyer’s Guide is not in any way liable for any tears shed or sweeping life changes made on account of its patented Uncomfortable Truths. Also, probably don’t take anything it says seriously. It *is* out to get you.) 

Disclaimer: I might have been possessed by the Ghost of Tongue-In-Cheek Christmas Commentary while recording this. Evidence lies in the fact that I don’t remember doing any of this and also I never pronounce “strip” that way.  

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30 Comments »

  1. Gothnak says:

    You know what, I’ve always thought all the reviewers on RPS were British… Not that i mind reviewers being from other countries, i just assumed it for some reason…. How blinkered of me… :s

    • Bugamn says:

      Nathan is… “special”.

    • Gap Gen says:

      Nathan is lapsed British.

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      His voice makes my eyes water, like it’s emerging from my own sore throat that hurts very much.

    • Drake Sigar says:

      He’s British on his Mother’s friend’s cat side.

    • Eddy9000 says:

      I thought I was English, but after listening to Sting and wondering for the past 15 years why anyone would “have their toast done on one side” I’ve come to realise that I can’t possibly be. Although I’ve never been to New York and perhaps this is a localised phenomenon.

      • Ich Will says:

        I used to work in a Michelin starred restaurant, they did a breakfast where the toast was done on one side if the customer had ordered jam and apparently, this is the traditional way to eat toast and jam – I will add that you cannot achieve this with sliced bread or a toaster (I have tried too because it genuinely is better that way, to my tastes), they had a fancy grill which got to unearthly temps so that one side stays as fresh bread while the other browns in less than a second and special bread just for serving with jam, which changed depending on what chef had made the jam from!

        • bills6693 says:

          As long as the bread isn’t sliced too thickly, you should be able to jam two slices into one toaster slot. Then the outsides toast and the insides don’t.

          Apparently good for sandwiches too.

        • warthog2k says:

          Which side should be buttered / jammed? The toasty side or the bready side?

  2. Freud says:

    I like the graphics in that Christmas tree screenshot. Nice post-processing effects.

  3. klmx says:

    Spending all my money on different Infestation outfits it is, then

  4. Bugamn says:

    I think Dark Souls has an offline singleplayer mode, although I haven’t tested it. But I hope they patch a better solution, the presence of other players (and their messages) help in this game.

    • CookPassBabtridge says:

      I am pretty sure there is a simple hack you can down load that completely changes the save system and the requirement for online. I never played the game with the online part at all. Thankfully that meant I never got invaded. The game was hard enough already

  5. FurryLippedSquid says:

    Loved the last 3 options.

    :D

  6. Cytrom says:

    You can play in “offline mode, but you cannot save in DS without gfwl being online… in other words, the game’s totally broken that way.

    • Snidesworth says:

      You can make offline GFWL accounts that don’t require you to touch a server. Likewise for any existing account that can’t make contact. You can still sign into it and play offline. That’s how I remember it working, anyway.

  7. HadToLogin says:

    Rumors say Dark Souls are going to follow Batman in that regard. And since they recently discovered PCs, there’s a chance those rumors are true.

    Right now, I only wonder if Microsoft will make first move towards showing they weren’t lying about PC support with their games.

    But if you wanted to play some GTA4, this are your last days to do that.

  8. Teovald says:

    just a thought : don’t even consider dark souls without a gamepad. its controls are terribly bad with the mouse + keyboard combo. Atrocious does not even begin to describe them, not to mention that all the on-screen key cues refer to xbox buttons.

  9. hypercrisis says:

    They recently posted to twitter that Dark Souls will migrate to Steamworks before GFWL goes down

    • killias2 says:

      Link? Honestly, I’ve heard so many rumors, I really need to see this to believe it.

      • nearly says:

        I’m pretty sure it was actually posted to Facebook back when Microsoft announced they were shuttering GFWL and the post was rapidly deleted soon after. I’m not sure whether or not this is just more rumor, and if it were true that this post/deletion happened, whether that would be a reason to be happy or sad.

  10. strangeloup says:

    Dark Souls seems to have had some kind of fatal heart attack on my PC, so I’ve been playing the PS3 one. It’s a useful reminder that a pleasant stroll in the woods can be interrupted by a bastard with a murderspear crackling with lightning stabbing you in the back.

    Talking of PS3, which I’m not going to do too much more for fear of being ostracised, The Walking Dead has now been demoted to second-best zombie game ever, having played the remarkable The Last of Us. There are obvious thematic parallels to be drawn — in both you play an older guy looking after a little girl, both are fairly unrelentingly brutal, and so on — but there’s a kind of wonder to TLoU that elevates it, despite being a more linear affair than Telltale’s offering.

    P.S. Nathan should stop gargling gravel, it has no medicinal benefit.

  11. Juan Carlo says:

    This would be funnier if it weren’t done by a guy who gets paid to write about video games for a living. Sorry, bro, you won the job lottery and thus you do not have the right to adopt ironically glum outlooks on life.

  12. hamburger_cheesedoodle says:

    End of the video:

    [forced laughter intensifies]

  13. cylentstorm says:

    It’s obvious that his sunny disposition is just a small part of his overall charm. Seriously, though–I thought that I was the only jaded bastard who gets off on throwing entire sets of monkey wrenches into the machinery of the magnificent amalgamation of capitalist greed and tired mythology that comprise the “holidays” of the “western” world. Who knew?

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