Rambo: The Video Game Boasts Of Its QTEs

By John Walker on January 20th, 2014 at 5:00 pm.

A game’s name can imply a lot. The name Rambo: The Video Game gives me some very clear first impressions. The most striking of all being it has nothing to say of its own. I’ve no idea if that’s fair at all – I’ve never played it. But The Straight Game Of The Film has yet to prove a good idea (with the colossal exception of Lego and GoldenEye), and the footage of this one isn’t promising an exception. The latest, incredibly clumsy trailer is below.

Well, have a look:

So, it’s going to feature the modes of play that you get in FPS games! Including QTE! Except, am I imagining it, or did a lot of that look like it was on rails, Time Crisis style? Oh good gracious, it is.

The game has slipped already, from a vague end of 2013 release to an even more vague some point in 2014 release. It’s coming from Polish devs Teyon, who have previously made 80 million casual puzzle games, and the critically hated Heavy Fire: Afghanistan, and the even more loathed sequel Heavy Fire: Shattered Spear. We’re obviously not holding out much hope based on what we’ve seen, but hey, it’d be great to be surprised.

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78 Comments »

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  1. Jimanzium The King says:

    I can’t tell if this is actual footage, or a joke.

    • Grey_Ghost says:

      No kidding.

    • TechnicalBen says:

      This. I saw RPS saying the graphics looked so good in this. Turns out it’s because it’s all pre-rendered. It’s one of those video shoot em ups, like the old school ones.

      Except if it’s pre-rendered, in this day and age, I’d expect slightly (read ALOT) better cinematography and graphics!

  2. Bobsy says:

    The game of the Tim Burton Batman film was quite decent. I think that’s the only one, but it was okay.

    • Dog Pants says:

      The one that came with the Amiga 500? Eesh, that’s a low apex.

    • pepperfez says:

      Aladdin and The Lion King were pretty fun platformers and Star Wars arcade was awesome. Recently, though…

    • Werthead says:

      ROBOCOP 3 by D.I.D. was also excellent (and much, much better than the terrible movie). The 3D design, shooting and the varied gameplay (FPS, jetpack aerial combat, GTA-esque patrolling and driving) was quite impressive for the time.

      Both the 8-bit vector 3D and SNES side-scrolling STAR WARS platformers were decent as well.

      • CookPassBabtridge says:

        The robocop side scrollers were great too, though actually coin-op conversions rather than direct game-to-movie.

        Ghostbusters on C64 was awesome, though it was also the first game I ever played and I was 6, so I may not have had the firmest critical base

        • jkz says:

          Now that was an open world game!

        • Premium User Badge

          jrodman says:

          Ghosbusters on c64 was bursting with ideas and innovation. The core concept and game structure was sound. It could have been a great game.

          Unfortunately it suffers from far too much reliance on obnoxious timing challenges, which was pretty typical at the time.

    • Dave Tosser says:

      Escape From Butcher Bay is, in fact, better than the film. You’ve also got oddities like The Thing, Tron 2.0 and Blade Runner which adapted a film long after release and actually turned out pretty good.

  3. Alevice says:

    Gameplay destruction? How does that works? Is it like those games that start under a genre and end under another?

    Gotta love how boringly scripted the trucks exploded on the bridge.

  4. DanMan says:

    OMG! They’ve invented a time machine!

    If only they had brought a game from the future instead of from the past… -.-

    • kament says:

      But wouldn’t you need future hardware to run it? And what if it is actually game from the future, only they downgraded it?

      • Shadowcat says:

        Dumbed down for the ancient hardware of the present.

        • kament says:

          Sure hope they did dumb it down, and not just fancy graphics, but pretty much everything. Otherwise… the future of videogaming seems bleak to me.

  5. swiftshlock says:

    It reminds me of P.O.W. on my old Amiga… and not in a good way.

  6. Premium User Badge

    RedViv says:

    Does Alien Trilogy count?

  7. faelnor says:

    Complaining about “QTEs” in a rail shooter doesn’t make a lot of sense since that’s part of the core gameplay since the birth of the genre.

    Anyway, surely I am in the minority but I think it looks much better as a rail shooter than it did in the early trailers where everyone thought it was a FPS. It still looks bad of course (especially visually, oh god those graphics), but at least now there’s a chance people might be able to get some enjoyment from it, plus we don’t have terribly many pure rail shooters on the PC.

    • riverman says:

      the first bit of news I saw about it had it looking like tomb raider with bigger guns and tits, and frankly, I thought it sounded potentially good! a jungle survival rambo game would be right up my ally, but this bland rails shooter is just piss in my face

    • Tridae says:

      I agree completely after watching that trailer. I would never have touched the FPS or third person version of this but now that it’s on rails it actually looks quite fun. If the difficulty can be ramped up a lot I can see it being fun in the competitive pass the controller for higher score kinda game.

      it works as an on rails thing, haven’t seen one of these in ages.

  8. C0llic says:

    This game honestly looks like an early PS2 title. I’m actually shocked this is recent game footage.

    It reminds me of one of those games you would foolishly pick up as a child based on the cover. The sort of game that would convince you it was a good idea to start reading games magazines before you wasted your pocket money.

    • Stompopolos says:

      I assume you meant early PS3? A quick glance at my stack of PS2 games with titles like Medal of Honor and TimeSplitters tells me that you meant PS3.

  9. Noc says:

    So, not a video game about a shell-shocked veteran trying to reassimilate into civilian life, then.

    • chargen says:

      Sorry, no. This is about a man who won the Vietnam War all by himself.

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      Gap Gen says:

      It does totally have Rambo disembowling an American police officer, though. So I guess you can’t fault it for not being universally psychotic to all nationalities.

  10. Freud says:

    What I don’t understand about QTE’s is this:

    I can understand wanting to introduce some sort of player input in games that don’t require many. Afterall, we’re playing the game and not watching it (even if they really want you to watch it). But why the insistence on pressing many puttons or pressing one button really fast? What is that that supposed to accomplish? Am I supposed to feel like I am good at QTE’s instead of making my finger hurt? I don’t.

    Any time I fail a QTE I view it as a design failure and not a failure on my part.

    • frightlever says:

      Macro keyboards and/or AutoHotKey. Made The Walking Dead playable, IMO.

    • Sedatives says:

      I guess that’s the one good thing about this game for you then, none of the QTEs featured in the video were very fast at all.

  11. jonahcutter says:

    Hopefully there’s a button just for growling, “I’m coming for you.”

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    slerbal says:

    Ahahahahahahaha! Ah it is good to have a laugh, but seriously: no.

    That looks like a big pile of garbage.

  13. Koozer says:

    If I saw this at Namco for £1 I would definitely have a go. On PC for £lots? Not so much.

  14. MacPoedel says:

    If it would come with a lightgun, that would be a pretty unique selling point. Railshooters on PC practically don’t exist anymore. Not that I would play it, but a game needs something going for it. Don’t know if aiming for the tiny PC gamer on rail shooter fan niche is a good idea though.

    • Werthead says:

      Dunno, CALL OF DUTY seems to be really popular on PC.

      • Stompopolos says:

        Either you don’t know what a rail shooter is or that was a really feeble joke about a game it’s no longer cool to hate.

        • frightlever says:

          It was a good joke and you don’t get to decide what’s cool to hate, who do you think you are? The Daily Mail?

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            Gap Gen says:

            YOU ARE NO LONGER COOOOOL

            Please return your backwards baseball cap and skateboard to the marked repository.

        • John Walker says:

          To clarify, it’s definitely still cool to hate Call Of Duty.

  15. SillyWizard says:

    Why can’t this game just be good, clean, goofy murderous fun? Despite the initial movie in the series being pretty series and laudable, the Rambo franchise has become about over-the-top action?

    (Seriously, have you seen Rambo 4? It’s, what I think 72 minutes, 62 of those minutes being Rambo single-handedly slaughtering the entire male population of Changistan.)

    Anyway, this game to me looks like it’s intended to put players in the movies — with big-head Rambo, to boot — and nothing else. Why does that have to be a bad thing? Not every game needs to push boundaries.

    • CookPassBabtridge says:

      It doesn’t HAVE to be a bad thing.

      This game however almost certainly will

      • SillyWizard says:

        Maybe it’ll be good-bad. It looks like over-the-top outrageous fun, to me. Not my cup of tea, but I could see the Walmart hillbilly crowd getting a kick out of it.

  16. Renegade says:

    Looks like they based this game off Hot Shots 2 as opposed to Rambo http://youtu.be/qQxvSsVQkoU?t=51s

  17. Dowr says:

    Rambo killing cops? That just goes against the whole point of his character in First Blood.

  18. jonfitt says:

    So this is a first person remake of Ikari Warriors then?

  19. spacevagrant says:

    We already have Rambo The Video Game it’s called Far Cry 3. All they need to do is replace the annoying little punk you play, with a Rambo skin and sound pack and you’re done.

    • Blackcompany says:

      I was just about to type in the very same thing.

      I just started back to Far Cry 3 today (an American holiday, so I have had some time to add mods and really have a blast) and I was just thinking this exact thing. Thanks for the laugh!

  20. Premium User Badge

    Chaz says:

    Do we need a light gun to play it?

  21. AngusPrune says:

    Why is this a Rambo game? Surely they could have got the Operation Wolf license for cheaper.

  22. ArtyFishal says:

    It’s an on rails game? It looks like it should be on the Wii.

  23. CookPassBabtridge says:

    There is only one way this game could be good. It comes packaged with one of these

  24. Max.I.Candy says:

    I think it’d be OK, if this was the last time Rambo: The Video Game was mentioned on this site.

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    Carra says:

    I would have loved to play this game… 15 years ago.

  26. tomimt says:

    For some reason I kept thinking Operation Wolf while wathcing that video. And also I was wondering if the makers really think they nailed Rambo’s model down perfectly.

    • brulleks says:

      Me too, and if no-one else had commented on it I was going to say “Rambo? More like (Operation) Wolfbo”

      But now I can’t. You rotter.

      (Plus I should have squeezed ‘hart’ in there somewhere, to create a really confusing reference to Angel).

    • CookPassBabtridge says:

      Thunderbolt was better. Loved that game on the amiga!

      • tomimt says:

        I never played Thunderbolt myself, but Wolf was pretty fun. And the arcade version was nice as well, with the mounted machine pistol controller.

        • CookPassBabtridge says:

          To be fair I played wolf on the C64 and TB on amiga, and wolf got terrible C64 reviews but good on other platforms so I may not be making a fair comparison

          • tomimt says:

            I had the PC version of Wolf. I played the arcade version only once, but what I recall of it, the PC version was pretty good. I’d suspect Amiga version would have had better sounds back then though.

  27. Geebs says:

    Very unfair of you to specify a straight movie-game adaptation otherwise I would totally have mentioned Alien3 on the SNES, and S..T…A….L…..K…..E……R

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    PoulWrist says:

    What is that!?

  29. mirdza says:

    Interesting thing how he slaughters police officers from First Blood with his trusty knife. Given how in that movie he only killed that guy in the helicopter (with a rock).

    • HadToLogin says:

      Read book then.

      For example, barber scene doesn’t only show few punches. It also shows razor being used on cop’s stomach, who then tries to put his guts back in place.

      It’s bloody. Tarantino bloody. If someone would want to make a remake, he’s your guy, who isn’t scared of getting his hands bloody.

  30. LionsPhil says:

    It’s like they saw Ride to Hell: Retribution and took it as a challenge.

  31. Snoken says:

    When watching this game-play trailer I just feel like singing “It’s beautiful, it’s true” in a castrated James Blunt meets Kermit the frog kind of voice. Haven’t laughed so much about a dead serious video in a very long time. You just got to love these guys for trying and failing so hard. Also is it only me or does Rambo look more like a complete imbecile every time they make a new trailer or whatever this monstrosity should be called… xD

  32. Death_Masta187 says:

    I’m sorry but no light gun rail shooter can ever defeat Revolution X.

  33. Wurstwaffel says:

    Hahaha it’s on rails.

    Might be okay with a light gun for fifteen minutes or so.

  34. Wedge says:

    I’m relatively certain this game would boast of anything resembling functional code. Though it’s doubtful there will be much of that in reality.

  35. Lenderz says:

    Golly, its like watching a game made by aliens who have only ever heard about video games before and had one described to them by a 5 year old.

  36. Ladygrace says:

    @00:46 pretty sure that is just a bot using auto aim.

  37. MeestaNob says:

    John really needs to be the one who reviews this.