1) That quadrophonic music never took off
2) Squirrels don’t make good pets
3) Dexys’ comeback album was boring
4) The wonderful King’s Bounty reboot has never had a proper sequel, instead just limping from samey standalone expansion to samey standalone expansion.
So, as much as my heart still performs the tiniest leap upon hearing that there’s a new expansion out, knowing it’s just a bolt on for 2012’s ambition-free Warriors of the North kills any anticipation. Sigh. Maybe I’ll try taming a squirrel again instead.
The facepalmingly-entitled Ice and Fire DLC was released yesterday, and on paper looks like a standard roster of additions. Here, see:
- Creature skill system – lead your troops through dozens of battles and they will become stronger than ever!
- Snow Elves – a new Elven nation that prefers snow and blizzard of the Ice Gardens instead of the green forests of Merlassar.
- Necrolizards – a new kind of the undead, Lizardmen that have risen from the dead.
- New locations to explore.
- Over 20 new creatures.
- Revamped creatures of King’s Bounty: Warriors of the North.
- New items with unique attributes.
- Over 20 hours of additional gameplay.
I am tempted, despite having just spat a gruesome cynicism loogie all over your screen. These things are like comfort eating to me, after all. I suspect I’ll steer clear, but if every other game on my plate looks too demanding perhaps I shall flee to KB’s open arms of samey safety.
The creature skill system is the only thing here that makes me twitch into real interest – conceptually, that losing units will hurt on more than simply a financial level is appealing. I like the idea that I have a more personal army that I work harder to protect.
Aargh, no, mustn’t talk myself into this. Over 20 hours of doing the same thing again is not the best use of your time, Meer.