War That Rises From The Ashes Of War: EndWar Online

By Adam Smith on February 25th, 2014 at 3:00 pm.

A new trailer for EndWar Online informs us that the browser-based MOBA-like will be undergoing a three-day test phase beginning this Thursday. You can register to be part of this pre-beta test, which has the callsign Tech Assault, by registering at the official website. The new trailer is a hyperactive cinematic so I looked back at an earlier video to see how the game plays. I’ve embedded both below. The longer trailer is quite impressive, beginning with the words ‘Middle East Nuked’ and rapidly escalating to the terrible consequence of that action – ‘Oil Prices Soar’. At one point the text declares, ‘You thought it was over but war never ends’. I hadn’t realised that the title was a futile command.

Here’s the new trailer.

And here’s the brilliant one. The first time I watched it, I thought the word ‘War’ came up around four hundred times. Turns out it doesn’t even reach double figures but there is that great moment when it seems like it’s going to say – ‘from the ashes of war, MORE FUCKING WAR, WAR THAT NEVER ENDS, END WAR, WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR, WAR-END’.

According to Nathan’s earlier report, the endless wars of EndWar last for about three minutes.

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21 Comments »

  1. Premium User Badge Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    Is it truly a good idea to name your bombastic EXPLODE-O-VISION war game with something that sounds like a mission statement for an humanitarian organisation?

    • Premium User Badge Harlander says:

      At least ending war online will probably be easier than doing it in meatspace…

    • GardenOfSun says:

      I think it’s one of those ironical wordplay situations, as seen in other rather successful titles as “War on Terror” or “Peace Intervention”.

    • Premium User Badge Gap Gen says:

      Or a medieval English word meaning to bestow, e.g. “I endwar upon this sword the might of Ulthar.”

      • The Random One says:

        Or the warrior who’d wield such a sword. Swordbiff Endwar the Barbarian.

  2. BobbyDylan says:

    But will we be able to zoom out to see >3 units on screen at any one time?

  3. Premium User Badge Gap Gen says:

    Watching that CGI trailer made me want a remake of Red Alert 1.

  4. DatonKallandor says:

    Oh it’s a browser game. So that’s why EndWar online looks worse than EndWar. Which came out how many years ago?

  5. Moraven says:

    I got this confused with End of Nations, by Trion Worlds. The MMO-RTS turned into MOBA now in limbo.

    Well at least we still have the End of something for war gamey MOBA.

  6. Turkey says:

    How is China not one of the first nations to jump at this WW3 mix?

    • DatonKallandor says:

      If your game has modern China in it (and it’s about a War) your game can’t be sold in China. Gotta maximize those profits.

      Why do you think so many games replace China with North Korea? (see Homefront, etc.)

  7. NailBombed says:

    ENDWARFACE?

    • Premium User Badge Stellar Duck says:

      Speaking of faces, what happened to WARFACE? Did it get released?

      • The Random One says:

        It was, last October, to absolutely lukewarm reviews.

  8. Kefren says:

    War never changes. Love that quote. One of the many film or game-related quotes I built into one of my more jovial stories, http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/410305

  9. Noburu says:

    Fuck it theres too many mobas and almost none of them good, im done.

    Market over-saturation if there ever was a thing.

  10. Tei says:

    I tried to teach me to learn braile so I could read books from my bed with my hands under two thick blankets.

    This is somehow on-topic, trust me.

  11. hotmaildidntwork says:

    Conflict. Conflict never resolves.

  12. GepardenK says:

    Oh my,

    - War never ends

    - War never changes

    I never asked for this…

  13. kablui says:

    Wanted to log in to comment, after a couple of months of “inactivity”
    Could not remember neither password NOR email address, as it turns out
    Registered this account (surprisingly simple process that nevertheless for me did include installing “https everywhere” (also, do that!))
    All just to say:

    Sir, your use of title and screenshort in concert created a masterpiece. I bow my hat and lift my wig to you.