By John Walker on March 4th, 2014 at 9:00 am.

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81 Comments »

  1. brgillespie says:

    Just when I thought the level of reporting on RPS couldn’t possibly get any worse, they go and do something like this… AND TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES.

  2. LycanGav says:

    More like this please

  3. olemars says:

    I hear Vladimir Putin is eager to respond to pleas for help these days, so I forwarded this to the Kremlin.

  4. Syra says:

    This is the best.

  5. LooneyPoirot says:

    Bravo.

  6. Bull0 says:

    Seriously consider doing all your posts like this, it’s great.

  7. cafeoh says:

    what the fuck is that shit? John is excellent at drawing cartoons, but never drew any in your articles?

    You obviously have the humor, and you do cartoons, I believe this would be an absolutely AWESOME thing to add to your articles.

  8. LunyAlex says:

    *slow clap*

  9. Gap Gen says:

    OH NO. INTERNET. IS DOWN.

    THIS IS MEER, TAKING COMMAND. I SAY AGAIN, MEER, TAKING COMMAND.

  10. DrScuttles says:

    If we all concentrate really hard and start chanting “internet” in unison, can we not gift John a little bit of our internet through the shared psychokinetic interweb of time that surrounds us and penetrates us and binds thinking machines together?

  11. GardenOfSun says:

    I especially appreciated the paper headline.

    Now I want a whole game about reviewing games done in this graphic style.

  12. Heliocentric says:

    John “Overcompensating secret misogynist” Walker is treading on thin ice here because he acknowledged he never played any Splinter Cell games but calls Thief 4 rather good.

    I WENT THERE.

  13. Zekiel says:

    Innovative multiplayer features you say? Count me in!

  14. FullMetalMonkey says:

    Pulitzer prize-winning article here.

  15. DatonKallandor says:

    Isn’t Tom Clancy dead? Ubisoft should honor his memory by never releasing another game with Tom Clancy in the name.

  16. Bluerps says:

    I suspect that the game that is shown in the pictures here is much more awesome than the game Ubisoft (maybe) announced.

  17. CookPassBabtridge says:

    That tank has ice cream drawn on the front of it. I can’t think of a pun. Someone help.

  18. SanguineAngel says:

    On the other hand I would quite dig a new Ghost Recon or Rainbow 6 game in the same vein as the originals

    • SillyWizard says:

      There’s this Takedown: Red Sabre game that came out a few months back…I don’t really know if it’s any good or not. But I think it was supposed to be like those other things you mentioned.

      Its was just recently 93% off on Steam. I’m guessing it’s not selling a great deal….

  19. Tei says:

    Random lines of random:

    “The details about this are … sketchy at best”
    “We can blame this on the cleptocraptas on Ukrania or the cleptocrata on Rusia?”
    “I am concerned a new war game can raise the prices on ram, I know that RAM is already cheaper than rammen, but still… ”
    “These that forget his RAM’s are forced to repeatly load from disc”.
    “Democracy is one man, one vote. And Putin is that man.”

  20. Serpok says:

    The lack of mouseover text, especially in an article like this, is appalling.
    Are you mimicking tablet-games developers and ignoring features that are unavailable on touch screens?

  21. Bullfrog says:

    Is this why there’s no new Rum Doings?

    I thought the blind had finally gotten to you.

  22. eclipse mattaru says:

    Goddamnit, show us some images from the actual damned game! When will this FARCE end? Those screens are CLEARLY pre-rendered video >:(

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