Grin And Bear It: Bear Simulator Launches Kickstarter

By Graham Smith on March 21st, 2014 at 11:00 am.

Bear all.

Does a bear shit in the woods? Hopefully, since this is Bear Simulator. It’s a first-person game which aims to simulate being a bear. It’s a Kickstarter campaign which aims to discover just how far the internet’s love of novelty animal sims will stretch, after the resounding success of Goat Simulator. It’s a trailer of an extremely early version, embedded below.

There’s a thing in songwriting where, if a joke is in the chorus, the song quickly grows tiresome as the joke is repeated three or four times in the course of its length. I worry that games like Bear Simulator are a conceptual joke that’s funny when you first hear of its existence, but becomes similarly tiresome when turned into a lengthy videogame. Is this a thing you actually want to play? Do you really want to live the life a bear? I’d maybe even be more intrigued if it seemed like they were approaching the subject seriously, with all the educational rigor of something like WolfQuest.

That said, I’m probably just a curmudgeon with a bad case of the grumps. Friend-of-RPS Philippa Warr responds much more reasonably with:

The Kickstarter campaign is a quarter of the way towards its $29,500 goal, and has more details including how the game will encourage exploration, and that eating a Dead Raccoon gives you -2 to your Luck stat. Alright, slightly more intrigued now.

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62 Comments »

  1. Steven Hutton says:

    Bear Down for Midterms.

  2. frightlever says:

    I’m about to launch a Kickstarter for a game where you’re a deaf, blind, mute. I don’t have the trailer video yet, but you can get the gist if you turn your monitor off.

  3. Yargh says:

    How can RPS not give full support to a Horace (all praise the Endless Bear!) simulator?

  4. odgaf says:

    i wasnt going to back it, but i couldnt bear the thought of missing out, guess ill have to grin and bear it

    bear hugs all round
    ok im off to bear my soul to whoever

    cue mowgli …. them simple bear necessities

    tho i think he has a bear faced cheek i couldnt bear to listen to him

    ok i think thats them all covered…..but wait

    he beared his teeth at me and last but not least
    the cupboard was bear

  5. Spacewalk says:

    Is it set in San Francisco?

  6. c-Row says:

    This doesn’t look as realistic as Enviro-Bear 2000!

    • Scumbag says:

      My first thought toward this was envirobear.
      Why have something with all these graphics when you can have a bear in a car?

  7. Darth Gangrel says:

    I’ve bearely seen any devotion to bears in games, despite the awesomeness of that animal. This seems like a good option for bear enthusiasts who want more realism, while others who want things a bit more odd can download the Skyrim autotune bear mod.

    • Rizlar says:

      Was just thinking that a Skyrim mod allowing you to play as a bear would be perfect. Preferably taking the premise seriously, with NPC humans reacting to you as a bear and a realistic skill set.

      • Darth Gangrel says:

        It’s quite hard to find realistic bear mods for Skyrim. Searching for “skyrim mod bear” on youtube only gives you autotune bear, bear musician and the cartoon Dovahbear. For better or worse, most Skyrim mods are weird.

  8. herschel says:

    Those puns are unbearable.

  9. yuramiah says:

    I guess I’m a joyless person because I’m having a hard time understanding why this is happening.

  10. noodlecake says:

    I think a lot of animal sims could be fun, or at least intriguing if approached seriously and the mechanics are well thought out and work. The one with the badger and it’s cubs sounds very interesting.

    • Jalan says:

      Far Cry 3 from the tiger perspective. Wander into an outpost, annihilate everyone in it.

      If only Dear Esther had been a seagull simulator. I envision dozens of videos utilizing the option to crap on the landscape about how pretentious or boring the narrative was to all those upset over it.

    • teije says:

      I’m working on a naked mole rat simulator. It uses the “Smell-a-tron 2000″ and is compatible with every non-visual interface display device.

    • waaaaaaaals says:

      Badger Simulator would include you getting culled a short time after you start playing.

    • Baines says:

      It’s almost a shame that WolfQuest predates Kickstarter. Sure, it got government funding and such, but Kickstarter probably would have gained it more public attention.

  11. Keyrock says:

    No real-time hibernation, no sale.

  12. spindaden says:

    This article wins most punnable RPS story.

    … but only bearly.

  13. FMAN71 says:

    Fun Fact: Bears walk like Frankenstein

  14. Drake Sigar says:

    A simulator? Hope it has the bear necessities.

  15. Ergates_Antius says:

    Will you be able to link this with Goat Simulator?

  16. Faxanadu says:

    This is awesome.

    20$ backing gets your bear a pair of sunglasses.

    Wonderful.

  17. Captain Loco says:

    Do I get to maul hunters?

  18. Isil says:

    Will it be unplayable for 6-8 months out of the year as well?

  19. Michael Fogg says:

    The PC has a nice tradition of ‘animal sim’ titles, which inlude ‘Wolf’ and ‘Lion’ (back in the ’90). The concept deserves more than just joke games.

  20. Sheogorath says:

    I can’t help but feel that it’s only a matter of time until the ‘(whatever) simulator’ market collapses into a black hole of smug sarcasm and memes, unleashing a horde of ‘zombie simulator’ variants upon the world.

  21. Megakoresh says:

    As a Russian, I approve this game. 10/10, would maul.

  22. engion3 says:

    This game has taught me the meaning of true love.

  23. Sharongamer978 says:

    One of the funniest things ever these simulators.

  24. Contrafibularity says:

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